How to make an American-Canadian-Ethiopian Family

Last year at Christmas, we were just settling in as a family. We had been home about 2 weeks, and were still getting our "sea legs" as parents. It was such a quiet low key event. This year, we went to Rochester on Dec 23 to see my folks. We had a blast! All of the men in the family, including two fathers-in-law, two sons, and two sons-in law, got together for a "man date". My mom, my sister and I had a little wine and yule log at my sister's house. It was such a nice evening.

Jacob loved seeing his cousins! He and Ethan get along so well. Ethan has the sweetest habit of slowly stroking Jacob's skin anywhere he can touch it. He gently strokes Jacob's cheeks, or neck, or arms. It is the sweetest thing to see! Brendan and Lauren did so well with him, and were so helpful to me, who is still in an aircast. They were more than happy to follow Jacob around to make sure he avoided trouble and to show him all of their cool toys. We did not get to see Miles and Ella until the 26th, but Jacob certainly had fun playing with them as well.

Christmas day was very relaxing at my folks house. It was just my parents and us opening gifts. Jacob is still a little confused about opening presents. At one point I said to him, "Ready to open another present?" he shook his head no and burst into tears. So we let him play with his toys and I opened the rest for him. People were so generous with him- we are so grateful. He will be too when he has the opportunity to play with everything. It is still just too overwhelming!! After he opened presents, he went to sleep for a 3.5 hour long nap!









The day after Christmas we loaded the car back up and were off to JF's folks. Sadly, shortly after we got there, JF wasn't feeling so well. He spent the next 2 days in bed with a fever of 102! We will have to go back shortly to make up for that visit. I however, got a nice chance to visit with everyone! It was so fun to see Nate and to watch him play with Jacob. They got on like a house on fire! Boy, would they wind each other up!

We also got to spend some time with Charles and Genie. Genie made two mouth-watering desserts, so my stomach and my heart were glad to see her! Charles is so good with the kids. He followed them as they went in circles around the place. Charles was also a very good sport about Jacob's name for him. Jacob has settled on "Uncle Chuck" for Charles. Unfortunately, it sounds a lot more like "upchuck" than anything else. But Charles was so pleased that Jacob was attempting anything at all, he didn't mind one bit. Good old Charles!! On Tuesday we loaded up the car again, now full to the gills with presents, and headed home.

Once home, I noticed that Jacob seemed way more whiny than usual. I thought maybe it was his teeth. I picked him up to give him some Motrin, when I noticed that he was burning up. My little man had a fever of 103.9! Now, I think that number is fine as a radio station, but I do not want that number associated with my son's body temperature!!! So the past few days we have been giving him Motrin and luke warm baths trying to get his fever down. He is now down at 99.5, and totally acting himself, so I think the worst is over. Phew!!

That brings us to today- New Year's Eve. We will be celebrating with good friends at a dinner that will remind us of how truly lucky we are. There will be lots of food and wine and laughter. We will probably eat too much. We will end the evening the same way I will end this post- Happy New Year, friends, hugs and kisses all around!!

I usually don't like to blog until I add pictures, but I am having a very hectic week and won't get to it until this weekend, but I really want to blog. So I will just update with pictures later.

We were lucky enough to be invited by the Zimmers to Cabo San Lucas! We had more fun than I can begin to describe. It was so relaxing. Mexico was beautiful and the weather was perfect every day. The kids had so much fun! So did the parents:o) I had the best mojito I have ever had in my life, got to hang out in the pool with Jacob, (the nice doctor took my hard cast off and put me in an air cast so I could get in the water)got to hang out in the hot tub with JF, got to chat it up with Jenna for 6 whole days. I just got to RELAX. It was a dream.

The kids were the hit of the resort. Every morning, when we would walk down to the pool, we would walk through the "fan club". People would call out to JAcob and Addia. The kids would take breaks from walking to fist bump or high five with their fans. IT was TOO funny.

One funny story- we met a really nice woman from CA. She asked about the kids- she thought they were twins (we get a lot of that when the two kids are together, which is funny, b/c they don't really look alike, but...). We explained that they were just friends. She promptly asked if Jenna and I were sisters. We also get that question a lot when we are together. So we explained that we were not related and were also just friends. She asked how we know each other because we look so much alike, it is kind of a coincidence. So I said that it was because of adoption that we met. We had used the same agency and hit it off. Jenna said something to the affect of "that is why are kids kind of look the same". And this woman, without skipping a beat, points to JF and says, "oh, I figured it was because of him". WHAT??? Apparently she thought JF sired both of our children? I don't even know what the logistics of that would be! Needless to say, the conversation ended shortly after and we politely moved on our way.

All in all, it was an amazing family vacation. We are so grateful for the opportunity and for all of the wonderful memories. Thanks Zimmers!!

Yesterday was JYB (Jacob Yeabsera Bertrand) day! It was one year to the day that we met our little angel. We celebrated in a quiet way. Jacob had his favorites for dinner and dessert- spaghetti and clementine oranges. While is the bath, I told him his story. I rocked him to sleep last night, just like I rocked him to sleep for his first nap with us. I wanted to blog about it yesterday, but somehow, I couldn't. It was just so special a day that I ended up just reflecting on it and keeping it to myself. I have a hard time articulating how lucky and blessed I feel. I also can't help but think of Jacob's birth parents and feel overwhelmed by the tough decisions they made that led Jacob to me. I am so grateful he is my family. Look at the before and after pictures:


What a difference a year makes!!

I hate them. I can't pick up Jacob and walk. He is very frustrated and angry about that. I am, too. It is not fun. JF has been a saint during this whole thing, and for that I am so grateful. Tomorrow they take off the cast and put on a boot, which maybe will be easier. Here's hoping...

Do I look like I have a little Captain in me?

I tripped and cracked my tibia. It has taken over a week to get it diagnosed. so I was in a lot of pain the last few days. Now that it is in a cast, it feels much better. Wanna sign my cast?

Old MacDonald had a farm... EIEIO










I am very proud of my rooster costume. I made that on Friday night!

We went to a Halloween/Trick-or-Treat party on Saturday. We had a lot of fun! Jacob kind of got the hang of it, but couldn't figure out why he couldn't go up to anyone- including other children- and take their candy. By the end of the evening, he was so tired he was opting to sit down with the people handing out the candy. JF and I were so exhausted when we got home we were about ready to pass out as well.

Last weekend, we had the Zimmers visit. Ally came, too, yay!! We went to Smolak Farms with the intention of picking pumpkins. It turned out we were a little too late for that, but the kids didn't seem to mind. Jacob licked about 2/3 of the pumpkins there. He kept referring to them as "apples". It was so fun to see the Zimmers, and a real treat to have Ally here!








This weekend, JF and I thought it would be fun to carve the pumpkin with Jacob. We thought it would be such a cute photo op and that Jacob would love the slimy pumpkin guts. Boy were we wrong! He would not go anywhere near the pumpkin once we had taken the top off. In fact, he would point to the pumpkin and say, "danger" and then run away. As a result, there are no pictures. We do however, have a picture of our pumpkin, along with the one that Jacob made at daycare on Friday.



Can you tell which is which?

In other news, I have my first 1/2 marathon in 2 weeks. I am freaking out. I have actually been down for the count with a sinus infection and an ear infection, so I have not been running at all for the past 10 days. I ran this morning and had a nice run, but I was slow. I am hoping to get one more long run in before the race. EEK! I feel scared about the distance. I have never run that far. I am hoping to book a hot tub soak in the evening after the race so that I am not too sore the next day. I don't know how anyone does a marathon...

I have been fairly sure for a while now that Jacob has a sense of humor. I could see little flashes of it here and there. But last night, he actually played a little joke on me. It was just after bath time and he was all dressed in jammies and lotioned up. I put him in baby-gated area just off the kitchen so I could get his bottle for him and he could play. So I am grabbing his bottle and walk towards the microwave, when Jacob pops up from behind the baby gate and roars at me. Then he laughs and laughs, so pleased with himself, and sinks back down. I burst out laughing myself. It was so cute and funny! I love seeing his little personality develop!

This morning, on Fox 25 news, the commentator VB was talking about the very sad story of the woman who was murdered in her house in NH. It turns out that one of the boys involved was adopted. Although it was not mentioned in the piece by VB, he also struggled with bipolar disorder. VB talked about the parents of all four teens. He wonders what level of responsibility they had/have in this gruesome crime. But then he focused on Spader, the boy who is adopted. He said we know they are not responsible- they are clearly good people because they adopted. He talked about the fact that this is EVERY ADOPTED PARENT'S WORST FEAR. He talks about the fact that something must have happened to the child before the child was placed that has caused this to happen.

OMG, WHAT!?!?!?!?! This is my worst fear?? I didn't know that, but thankfully VB was able to point it out to me. I didn't even know that I was goodness personified because I am privileged enough to be able to adopt. I didn't even realize the biological kids can't have mental illness, and that all adopted children are broken. That privately, all of the adoptive parents I have met are wondering, when is this child going to grow up and kill someone? AURGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Seriously?? Never in my life have I thought to myself, "I wish I could punch that newscaster". I am sitting here thinking it now.

Luckily, I have impulse control. I sent an email instead. Not sure what will happen, but here it is...

VB made comments this morning about the very disturbing NH murder. One of the alleged perpetrators is an adopted child. VB went on to say that this is every adoptive parent’s worst nightmare. I am an adoptive mother. I found this comment to be exceptionally inappropriate. I never want my son to hear that this is a fear of every adoptive parent. I am not any more afraid of this than any other parent that I know. This may be a fear of all parents- that for as much as we try to raise our children to be kind and thoughtful individuals, that somewhere along the way, something goes wrong. It is scary to think that maybe mental illness will touch our children and cause them to behave in a way that is heartbreaking and wrong. But to name that as a fear specific to adoptive parents is ignorant and perpetuates the idea that adopted children are different than biological children. Adopted children are not broken, and not all have suffered traumas before they came to live with their adoptive families. I cannot tell you how disappointed, saddened and angry I feel over these thoughtless, ignorant comments.

I did not get a written response, but my email was read in its entirety on Fox News this morning. I did not see it, but Tara did! There was an e-mail from an adoptee who was unhappy by the comments, a woman with no connection to adoption community who took exception to him, and then ME :o) VB was asked by another broadcaster if these letters made him change his mind. His response was, "No, I still think they regret the day they adopted him". So there you have it. I still feel like I fought the good fight! There is only so much one can do about an ignoramus.

We have been busy recently, but I guess that is par for the course. We have never been so popular or requested as we have been since Jacob has come home! Two weeks ago, we were in East Northport running the Cow Harbor 10k and hanging out with the Zimmers. It was such a treat! They were, as usual, the most gracious of hosts! We love being in their home. It is such a warm, loving environment. Jacob loves being there because the lovely Addia resides there. All that little man wants to do is kiss her! He is only human!


The race itself was great too. I took 3 minutes off of my time which made me so happy! All of those early morning runs have paid off! Undoubtedly, the best part of the run was seeing Jacob and Addia in the cow costumes at the finish line. It made my day. I am already looking forward to next year's race.


Last weekend we had JF's mom and dad visit. They had not seen Jacob in 4 weeks and were amazed at the difference. Folks, he is no longer a baby. He is a little boy. SIGH... But I have to say, it is a treat to hear him call them Oma and Papa. It was a short visit, but there was enough time for hugs and kisses to be shared by all.

Next weekend, we see my folks. There will be more hugs and kisses to share! The last time I saw my parents was at the reunion, so I am looking forward to seeing them. It will be nice to get to spend a little more one on one time with them.

On the 12th, I have another 10k. It is my last race before my first ever Half-Marathon. I am so excited to have one under my belt! I have been saying for almost 2 years that I am going to do it.

As far as Jacob's milestones go, he is RUNNING! (I think he will be able to join me shortly on some of my races.) He is climbing! He uses a spoon and a fork with varying degrees of sucess. It is a MESS, but he def wants to do it himself. He has added even more words. Just recently, "apple", "blocks", "sneaker", and "yellow" have become part of the vocab. We enjoy every moment with him. Watching him grow brings to our hearts like nothing else could.

As promised, here are some pictures from the family reunion in August.

I love this one the most! It is Jacob the youngest in the family with Jo and Rosemary, the oldest in the family. Rosemary, my great aunt who is holding Jacob, adopted 3 kids. She was so happy to meet Jacob!! He was all giggles!
The Matriarchs...
It was a very special weekend!

Happy New Year, kids!

Ethiopian New Year (Enkutatash)

Ethiopia still retains the Julian calendar, in which the year is divided into 12 months of 30 days each and a 13th month of 5 days and 6 days in leap year. The Ethiopian calendar is 8 years behind the Gregorian calendar from January to September and 7 years behind between September 11 and January 8.

Enkutatash means the "gift of jewels". When the famous Queen of Sheba returned from her expensive jaunt to visit King Solomon in Jerusalem, her chiefs welcomed her bolts by replenishing her treasury with inku or jewels. The spring festival has been celebrated since this early times and as the rains come to their abrupt end, dancing and singing can be heard at every village in the green countryside.

But Enkutatash is not exclusively a religious holiday. Today's Enkutatash is also the season for exchanging formal new year greetings and cards among the urban sophisticated - in lieu or the traditional bouquet of flowers.

Before we brought Jacob home, we were a little nervous about how our cat Echo would do with a baby in the house. Echo is a little on the anti-social side and took a LONG time to adjust to having me in the house. I couldn't quite picture her dealing well with a baby. Well, I was WRONG. Jacob and Echo are fast friends. "Cat" was one of Jacob's first words. The pictures below tell the story!

Jacob is in that scary walking stage now. He wants to do it all of the time, and he is fast, but he is not graceful. He falls down a lot. He is typically a good faller- down on his bum- no harm done! But on Friday evening, he took his first real fall. YIKES!! He managed to land face first into the cornier of the doorway. It happened SO fast. Even though JF and I were both right there by him, neither of us could catch him. The sound was terrible! We tried icing it as best we could, but he wasn't really that into the ice. The best we could get was for him to lick it, to be honest. And it was not for lack of trying. But we did the best we could and he let me kiss his boo-boo. That part was pretty cute and the first time I was able to do that with him where it meant something. Fast forward to the next morning: Jacob has two black eyes and a bruise running down from his eye to his mouth. :o( His beautiful face! I always try very hard to enjoy his present state and not say things like, "I can't wait until he has teeth" or "It will be so much more fun when he can talk", because I know how precious every moment is with him. When he is a well-coordinated walker, I know that I will sorely miss the little boy with his hand outstretched, looking to me to steady him. But I am hoping he gets just a little steadier, so we lessen the risk of a bad fall. I love his pretty face!

Pictures of our weekend, in no particular order. We had such a BLAST!!