How to make an American-Canadian-Ethiopian Family

Today our baby boy is 8 months old. I cannot believe that we have known each other almost 2 months. I also cannot get over the dramatic changes in this short amount of time! When we met Jacob, he was a "warm lump". He did not cry, or laugh, or make a peep until the third day we knew him. I actually told JF I thought Jacob was deaf, because he did not seem to respond to anything. But today, he was eating cheerios, dancing in the exersaucer, kicking and splashing in the tub, laughing at mommy, saying "dada" and blowing kisses. I cannot believe that two months ago, I didn't know this little boy who holds my heart and adds so much joy to my life. Every milestone that I experience with him is such a delight. Happy Birthday, sweet boy!

Warm Lump


Not warm lump!

How about joining our Mocha Club team instead? For 7 dollars a month, (or the cost of two coffees) you can join our team to support child mothers. Click here to join us! It is my sincerest hope that by supporting these young victims of the Lord's Resistance Army in Uganda, that we can keep some babies with their moms. These young women certainly deserve every opportunity that we can afford them! Next time you walk into Starbucks, buy one for you, and one for them, and contribute to this great cause. I must add that I LOVE this organization because I feel that it is one that realizes just how AMAZING Africa is, and that while there are many reasons to feel moved to action, they encourage action and not pity. I NEED AFRICA MORE THAN AFRICA NEEDS ME!

So Jacob has been doing pretty well since we have been home. WE are loving him and he seems to be loving us. He has such a sweet personality, and he sleeps well, so he has been a TON of fun. But this week, he started to sound really congested again. We took him to the doc yesterday. He was diagnosed with severe asthma and double ear infections! The ear infections are not really a big deal- he gets antibiotics for the next two weeks. But the asthma is very serious:o( He has to have nebulizer treatments every 4 hours right now and he is on an oral steroid. He hates the treatments and it breaks my heart to administer them. Our poor little boy is sick and sounds terrible! Sadly, even when we do get it under control, we will have to do nebulizer treatments every day for the foreseeable future.

We have also had him evaluated and started early intervention. We have had good news and much success there! He was initially evaluated to be at 5 months, but this week, we were told that he was hitting the 6 month milestones. He is making up for last time at a prodigious rate and we couldn't be happier!

So that is where we are at right now. Keep us in your prayers that we get his ashtma under control quickly.

I have been having issues posting recently because of Blogger. But here we go:
At Home:




At Toukoul guest house:


He is getting so big!!

I feel so good about our country today. I feel so much hope. I have to admit, I do with every president. But this year, my spirit soars. Our country has taken a big step forward. I know we have many more steps, but we have to start somewhere! I am very proud to be an American today!

So, since we have been home, I have had very few experiences with Jacob that I could call puzzling or troubling. People seem to be friendly and comfortable with a white woman and a black baby. I will say, I think that our community has a lot to do with it. We are in a very diverse area. When I am with JF, people don't even blink an eye about us. ( I did get one very sweet comment from a woman who looked at the three of us and said, "Did you hear about that couple in England? You never can tell with genetics". I smiled and said, "You are right!") But I have had two comments that have made me stop and think.

Both take place in a doctor's office. The first one went down like this: JF and I are talking to our doctor about Jacob, who is with us. Our doctor had to do about 6 letters for us due to issues with the notary, so she is well invested in our adoption. She was commenting on how cute he is (she is human after all, lol) when another woman approached. That woman had an accent that I would say was maybe Nigerian, but she was definitely originally from Africa. She asked some questions about our process and about the baby. I said, "JF is hoping he will be the first Ethiopian professional hockey player." She responded by saying, "He is American. You adopted him." She walked away immediately. I don't know if she was offended, but she was certainly correcting me. I still don't know how I feel about this interaction. I would like to think that he can be both at the same time. I can certainly identify him as Ethiopian-American every time, but to me, it is not necessary. Just because at one point I chose to acknowledge one does not in any way diminish the other for me. But perhaps for other people, or for Jacob's clarity, I need to be more specific? But part of me feels that she made a snap judgement on me without finding more facts, or taking the time to have a dialogue with me about it, so this is her issue and not mine. I am sure I will continue to mull this over, but I would love to hear the thoughts of other adoptive parents.

My second incident was a comment our pediatrician made. I want to preface this by saying that I really like my pediatrician. I think he is very thorough and I would recommend him highly. He made a comment to me about Jacob's personality. Jacob is a very pleasant baby for the most part, and he is very responsive to people. the doctor said to me, "Jacob is a very pleasant little guy. I think that is because he was in the orphanage. He didn't get enough contact and now he is flourishing because of it." Now, I have issues with this for a few reasons. One, he got lots of love at Toukoul Orphanage. I think that the doctor has made a snap judgement about an orphanage that he has never seen, b/c it is in a foreign country. Two, couldn't that just be Jacob's personality because of him? Not because he was an orphan, but because that is his temperament? I want the doctor to treat Jacob the child, not Jacob the orphan. I know there are certain things b/c he was an orphan that need to be a little different (HIV testing, for example). But to assume that his personality is due to that bothers me. It was an off-hand comment, I am sure the doctor meant no offense, but it got me thinking. The nannies and the orphanage told me that Jacob was always one of the most pleasant little babies in their room. He came to them at less than 4 weeks old. Does that mean that EVERY aspect of him is shaped because of this?

I would love to hear your thoughts!

Thanks!

I haven't written in so long, but I actually do have so much to say, that I am going to break it up into small posts.

So this is the first, and it is dedicated to the Zimmers. They came to visit with us the first weekend after New Year's. It was so great to see them. Not only did we get to see them, we got to see pictures of their daughter, our future daughter-in-law, Addia. She is so gorgeous! She is truly a beauty and we couldn't be happier for them!!

We have so many things in common with the Zimmers. It always amazes me that we can always find more. We feel so lucky to have met them through this process. Jenna is the one I go to when I get a comment that I don't like, or one that I do, because I know she understands. (JF, for all of his wonderful qualities, NEVER jumps up and down in celebration, and I have yet to hear him squeal in delight. Jenna, on the other hand, does both.) Dan is sweetheart. I love to see him and JF hanging out. They are so similar it is uncanny!! They both have the same titanium wedding bands. Weird, right??

One of the best parts of the weekend was the reassurance it gave us. JF and I have been in the "all baby, all of the time" mode. It is a bit of an adjustment for us. I didn't know when we would be able to be "us" again. But with the Zimmers here, we had a fun weekend with the baby, not about the baby. It was great. And such a relief! We even went OUT to breakfast- our first meal out since Ethiopia.

My favorite part of the weekend, by far, was watching them interact with Jacob. They are going to be such good parents! Jacob was just as smitten with them as they are with him. The weekend was a roaring success!

We are very lucky to have a baby that is a fantastic sleeper. He goes to bed around 8pm and sleeps until about 8am. We have never had him sleep for less than 10.5 hours at night! But he has this routine when he goes to sleep that is truly my favorite thing in the world. When I put Jacob into the crib, I turn on the mobile. And every night, when I lay him down, he smiles at me and he smiles at the mobile. He then grabs his blanket, he grabs his toy we call dog-dog, he turns on his side, starts sucking his thumb, and he goes to sleep. (He sucks his thumb so loud I can hear him doing it if I am in my bedroom!) I just think process is so sweet. In my head, I imagine him saying, "Oh look, here comes that crazy elephant again!" as he watches the mobile. Then he thinks, "Oh, hi dog-dog!" And then he is out. Every night, I tell JF, "I'll put him to bed tonight." I can't help it; I know I should share it. But, I LOVE to watch it happen too much. Right now, that is my favorite thing:o)