Change Yourself to Change the World Around You
I am writing this post with the hope that someone who reads
it will feel hope and ask questions.
For those of you who know me, know that I have a passionate personality. If I am going to do something I either go all
in or not at all. This trait has helped me in my career and in my many aspects
of my personal life. However it’s also
hurt me. All my life I have loved
playing video games. From the time I
pulled the Master Sword out of stone and the countless times I have saved humanity. Video games were always a way for me to
relax, break away, and go to any world I wanted. I didn’t need to worry about how I looked or
acted, I was accepted and felt needed.
This became my new life…
For several years I would walk in the door after work, grab
a bite to eat, and head straight for the TV and Xbox. Every night I would play
with a group of friends. We played as a
team where each of us played crucial parts and were needed. Janae and Kole would fight for my attention
and I would continue to fight aliens.
Janae would be frustrated, I would as well, and Kole could feel it. This had been going on for several years now.
I had become severely over-weight and my
relationship with Janae and Kole was at an all-time low.
One night after Janae put Kole down to sleep, she came and
said good night to me. There was no
argument, no nagging to stop playing, just good night. I remember watching her walk down the
hall. She looked like she was broken down
and beaten. I stayed in my gaming chair
and continued to fight off rounds of aliens looking for the next piece of gear
that would make my character look cooler or do more damage. At 2AM I stopped playing. As I was about to
walk down the hallway I remember my thoughts of Janae and how she looked
beaten. I was so worried about beating
my virtual enemy that I didn’t realize I had beaten my family. I sat in the living room and cried. I was at a cross roads and it was time to
make the decision. I turned my Xbox back
on, opened up my favorite game, went to my characters and clicked the delete
button. I did this for each game then
deleted the game. I cried the whole time
and knew that by doing this I could never go back. I had put in too much time in each of those
games and I would never be able to catch up and get back to where I was. I went to the bedroom and woke up Janae told
her what I did. We both cried. The next week I sold the Xbox and unsubscribed
from all of my online accounts. Like I
said, I knew I had to be all in or all out.
I chose out.
It’s been just over a year since I did that and life could
not be better. Janae and I are doing
much better. Kole and I have never been
closer and have filled up our free time with fishing trips. It wasn’t an easy change. I honestly went through
withdrawals. But this put me down a path
that helped me grow all in on other areas of my life.
My Health:
Ever since I stopped playing sports I have put on weight. I
tried programs, workout, personal trainers, eating healthy, medications, and
even became a vegetarian for a few months (the worst one). No matter what I did I could not lose weight
and this made me depressed. People would
say things about my weight and I would joke with them about it. I would put myself down and would feel even
worse. I also couldn’t play with Kole or do the activities that I liked to
do. I was desperate and was ready to do
anything. I ended up seeing a specialist
who pointed me in the direction of a gastric sleeve. Janae and I did a lot of research and went to
a seminar at a nearby hospital. We
walked out of the hospital hand in hand both in tears. We knew right then and there that this is
what we needed to do. For the first time in a long time I felt hope. Not hope as in “I hope I catch a fish” but
the love of God wrapped around me saying I was going to be OK.
We looked at our insurance and tried everything we could to
get them to approve the surgery. For 6
months I researched and tried to find loopholes so that we could have the insurance
cover it. I went so far to even look for
a new job that had better insurance. $15,000-18,000
was just so far out of our reach that I gave up. My depression overwhelmed me and I didn’t have
a virtual world to escape to.
One night we had some close friends visiting us at our house.
I broke down and told them everything. One of them told me about her friend who was
in the same situation. Bad insurance, tried
everything to lose weight, and couldn’t afford the surgery. Then she told me that he went to Mexico and
got the surgery for super cheap. I thought
the same thing you are thinking now, (Mexico Surgery = Bathtub of Ice = No
Organs) LOL. But I was desperate. So I did tons of research and found out how
legit the whole thing is. It’s called
medical tourism and is actually a very common thing. We chose our favorite company and surgeon
then started planning our trip. Janae
and I didn’t tell many people and those we did tell were very skeptical. A few
tried to talk me out of it.
Tijuana Mexico
We planned the trip after my busy season at work. Janae and I both committed to the decision and
knew that our lives would be forever different.
We knew that once I had the surgery we couldn’t go back. I have to admit I was very nervous. Just the prep work alone was crazy: two weeks
of only liquids, no carbonation, and staying at 1000 calories a day. Janae was amazing and helped me make sure I
stuck to the diet.
The time came and we flew down to San Diego. Our driver, who was also my nutritionist, picked
us up from the airport and drove us across the border and to the hospital. The hospital looked old but we were quickly met
by some very kind nurses and staff. I
have never been treated so well in a hospital.
We had two translators that work for the company that were available to
us. One during the day and one at
night. They stayed just outside the door
and where there if we needed anything.
At this point I couldn’t have any food but Janae was living like a
Mexican Pregnant Queen. They would take
her order and bring her some of the best smelling foods. It was one of worst parts of the whole trip
for me.
After they did all the test and prep work it was go
time. Two nurses came in made me take
this nasty medicine and I was gone. I
woke up one hour later on a gurney in a lot of pain. Two nurses stood above me speaking in Spanish
I told them that I was in pain and they kept talking. I started thinking back to high school Spanish
class. I started yelling out the word I thought
meant death “Morda” (Its actually “muerte”) and “Diaz” (Ten) to try and describe
my pain level. I drifted in and out for
the next hour or so. When I woke up,
Janae was smiling and asking how I felt. Then I was still in pain but felt more
uncomfortable than anything. She told me
that the surgeon had come by and that the surgery had gone perfectly. He told her that he could tell I stuck to the
pre-op diet and that he removed 80-85% of my stomach.
We spent the next two nights in the hospital. I was able to walk around and eat nothing but
clear fluids. The funniest moment was
the first night I woke up dry heaving. I
told Janae to grab the nurse and asked for a bowl or something to throw up
in. The nurse hands me a little dish
that was maybe held a cup. I looked at
her and was thinking what kind of person hands a man my size a tea cup to throw
up in. Then I remembered that I hadn’t
had anything to eat for two day and now I had the stomach of a small cat. Each day things got better and I could eat
more foods. I had my surgery on Friday
went back to work on Tuesday.
At my heaviest point I weighted 340 pounds at the time of my
surgery I was 300 on the dot. One misconception of this type of surgery is that
it’s a magic pill that it solves your issues and weight just comes off without
you trying. It’s not. It’s a tool to help you lose weight. I rarely feel hungry and can eat about a ½-1
cup of food every 3 hours. The next few weeks flew by and it was
amazing. At first I was losing close to
10-15 pounds a week. It slowed down but
I am constantly trying to stay at or around 1200 calories. I currently weigh 230 pounds which is what I weighed
when I graduated from high school.
Needless to say I feel great and am such a happier person.
In short, I couldn’t be happier with the changes that I have
made. Even though they were hard and
required a lot of self-sacrifice it has all been worth it. A huge thank you to all the friends, family,
and mentors who always help me become the best person I can be and have supported
me though all these changes. Most of
all, thank you to my best friend, Janae, for being so patient and loving. I’m excited for the future and the great
things to come.
