We've had lots of firsts yesterday.

Nathan went from his tummy to sitting up all by himself!  I read a few weeks ago that this was a milestone that he should be mastering soon, so after I finally figured out how he might go about accomplishing the task, I would help him sit up a couple of times each day so he would know what to do.  Then, this past Sunday, Nathan was laying on his belly by the table while Brian was working on his computer at the table.  It got quiet and Brian looked down and Nathan was sitting up (but Brian is pretty sure that he grabbed onto the chair leg or table leg to help him up)!  We didn't see a repeat of the feat until today.  I was playing around with the camera taking pictures of Nathan on his tummy, then all of a sudden he was sitting up!  Then he did it again for me a few minutes later!

Nathan and I were playing on the floor in the living room a lot on Friday - I hosted my playgroup at our house and moved the coffee table out, giving us lots of room on the floor to scoot around on.  Oreo was sitting on his favorite chair at one end of the room, and Nathan scooted himself over to the chair and tried to pull himself up so he could hang out with Oreo.  He couldn't get a good hand hold on the chair, and I'm not sure that he has the arm strength yet to actually pull himself up, so I headed over to help him out.  He was so excited to be within arms reach of Oreo, he started "dancing" and ended up taking a step while hanging onto the chair.  I guess this is the very beginning of the crusing stage.

Then, naps.  Because playgroup was here yesterday and there were so many exciting kids to watch and try to keep up with, I didn't put Nathan down for his nap until 11:15, which is usually around the time he gets up from his first nap.  He ended up napping until 1:00 and didn't want to take another nap the rest of the day.  Nathan and I even stayed out late at a CYP party, and he was so well behaved and did well being held by lots of other people - I was super impressed!  It's a little early for him to go to one nap, but he got more sleep then the day before when he took 2 30 minute naps, so...  But today he's probably back to 2 naps, likely because he got to bed so late last night and didn't get his usual 12 hours of nightly sleep.  I guess times are changing, with Nathan able to stay up a ridiculously long 7 hours at a time!

Anyway, really good day again yesterday.  Nathan has been less fussy now that he can move around and get the cats, or the toys, or head wherever strikes his fancy.  And I'm very thankful for that!

Might this not be the cutest picture of Nathan yet?

This post should either start with "Nathan and I had an unexpectedly fabulous day" or "I'm a goober".  We'll start with the latter.  For a while I've been considering buying a DSLR camera in my quest to take better pictures, and last night I had decided that I was going to take the plunge.  I announced my plans to Brian (I'm going to use some gift money that I never spent from the last few Christmas' and birthdays, hence "announce my plans" rather than "discuss the decision").  Then Brian asked the brilliant question, "Have you ever taken pictures with a DSLR?"  Well, basically no.  This morning I was doing more reading on DSLRs and started looking at tutorials on things like aperture, shutter speed, white balance, ISO, etc.  Then I consulted the manual for my camera and found out I could change all this stuff to improve picture taking the camera I have.  I played around with it at home some, and immediately figured out how to make my indoor photos have MUCH better color.

After 1st nap and lunch, Nathan and I headed out with the camera and my new-found knowledge to Reynolda Gardens to take some 9 month pictures.  I've done this for most of Nathan's month "birthdays" and I'm glad because it makes sure that I get some good pictures of him each month!   I ended up getting a few super cute pics of Nathan, ones that required little to no editing/cropping/etc.

Yes, there's a reason I said "mobility" instead of crawling.  That's because we still have not mastered that skill.    Oh, we can move our knees around with ease now, but its the arms.  Oh, those arms, that's what is still holding us back.  And it seems that Nathan hasn't made any progress in the past week or so with the arms.

No, I didn't feed Nathan taquitos!  But, I found a new recipe that I LOVE last week, and today I'm making it for my parents and grandparents and decided to share it because I really thought it was amazing.  I found it while blog surfing at Our Best Bites.  First, I made their Taco Chicken, purposely making lots of leftovers to use in the taquitos.  I didn't love the taco chicken by itself (I thought it needed a little something else to make it special, I just don't know what that "else" is yet.).  But then a few nights later, I used the leftover shredded chicken to make Baked Creamy Chicken Taquitos.  AMAZING!  It made 14 taquitos, I ate 5 and Brian ate 4, then we had an intense debate about who would get the leftovers for lunch.  Anyways, we thought it was a super tasty, relatively healthy Mexican dish.  Hope you try it and agree!

I'm behind on sharing some videos that we've been recording the past week, so here we go!

The other morning I was feeding Nathan and he grabbed the spoon out of my hand and shoved it into his mouth!  Luckily I had the video camera sitting on the table, so I was able to get this video of Nathan feeding himself.  He plays with spoons sometimes (not as much as he used to), but this was the first time he actually fed himself.  He did pretty well!

From this next video you can see that we still haven't outgrown our love for the jumper - in fact, we just keep on finding new reasons to enjoy it!  I had noticed a time or two that when Nathan would start bouncing around crazily, he would pick up his feet and swing, but it didn't really register with me.  Last week Brian was sitting on the floor with Nathan in the jumper and he exclaimed "Have you seen how Nathan swings in his jumper?!"  So Brian and Nathan demonstrated for the camera.

This last one is Brian and Nathan playing together, which typically involves lots of laughter from Nathan!

Brian and I have been expecting Nathan to start crawling for weeks.  Everytime he pops up onto his hands and knees, I think "Don't look away, this might be it!"  However, now that Nathan and I are going to be gone next week to visit my parents, I'm finally thinking, "OK, maybe waiting another week wouldn't be a bad idea."  My parents just moved into a new house, so it might be a challenge trying to keep a crawling baby out of trouble when there are boxes and stuff galore!  Also I'd feel a little bad if Nathan started crawling at the beginning of the week and Brian would have to wait until the next weekend to see it for himself.  Oh well, we certainly can't plan our lives around what milestone Nathan might or might not accomplish each week.

So here's Nathan yesterday working on his crawling skills.  Still just rocking, not making any significant forward progress.

However, this morning I definitely saw Nathan move his knees forward.  One knee... the second knee... then *plop* onto his stomach.  OK, so maybe this weekend we'll have a crawler?  Or certainly by his first birthday, at any rate!

So I had a mini-breakdown this Sunday, all weepy and just not sure if the whole "full-time mommy" was for me.  Nothing big precipitated this breakdown: Brian was on call this weekend and Nathan's been napping poorly for a few days/weeks.  As in, he won't go down without a fight and takes short naps in the morning and even shorter in the afternoon.  I've been trying to sleep during the morning naps (because Nathan's also been getting up pretty early), but during the afternoon naps I've been rushing in to try and put Nathan back to sleep because only taking a 30 minute afternoon nap will make him WAY too grumpy before bedtime.  So with this schedule, I didn't feel like I was getting "down" time during the day.  Coupled with Brian's always busy schedule which prevents him from being home much while Nathan's awake, I've just been throwing myself a little pity party, which turned into the breakdown on Sunday.

Brian was super supportive, trying to come up with options to make me happier: I could go back to work if I wanted, Mother's day out for Nathan, Brian could try to transfer to an anesthesia residency in Knoxville so that we'd be near family to help me (yes, he offered this, which tells me how seriously he's taking this - I have a WONDERFUL husband, even if I don't seem him near as much as I would like).  Other then Mother's Day Out, which I probably will take advantage of when Nathan's a little older, I didn't think any of these things would "fix" the situation and make me happy. 

I've been praying the past few nights (and I have NOT been praying as much as I should), just saying "God, I just don't know..." and hoping for something to give.

Since Sunday, Nathan's been taking slightly longer naps in the afternoon, and I've been making myself just sit and take some "me" time so that I feel like I got a break that day.  Today I was looking at this random blog that I follow of a stay-at-home mom of 5 kids, and found this post about why she stays at home.  And here's how she sums it up:

It's the little things... the things that come up once in awhile, the bouts of colic, the annoying stages, the private bathroom dilemmas, the runny noses, just a bad days (or weeks)...those are REALLY the reasons I stay home. The hard stuff. The "no fun" stuff.

I want ME to be the one that takes care of all those things. I trust myself. I'm his mother. Who loves him more? I love having never to doubt he's getting the best care every day no matter how impossible he's being. I don't think anyone can do it better than me. I'm not conceited. I'm not bragging. I'm not patient all the time. I am not full of myself. But I do think only me and their Dad LOVE these kids more than anyone else on earth. And not LOVE, the typical meaning that comes to mind.

But LOVE...the hard way.
 
And this made me think about WHY I'm staying at home.  And I guess I hadn't given it as much thought as one might expect.  I'm staying at home because that's what my mom did, because that's what I always planned on doing, because Brian's going to be able to support our family on one income as soon as residency's over, because I didn't want Nathan in some random daycare with random people taking care of him all the time, because its nice to be able to go to the pool or get errands done during the day.  But none of these reasons are really good enough to keep me from questioning my decision when we're going through a rough patch. 
 
But what that other mom said resonated with me.  No child is going to be perfect all the time, and its completely unrealistic for me to think that Nathan would be.  So when things aren't going perfectly, instead of resenting XYZ, maybe I should recognize that this is the crux of the matter.  Do I want ME to deal with XYZ, or do I want someone else dealing with it?  I DO have that choice, we could pay someone to take care of him and I could go back to work.  But who would I trust more to react in the most positive, loving fashion (even though I know I need to work on this)?  Maybe I need to give myself a little kick in the pants and change my attitude.  If my end goal is to raise Nathan to be a strong and loving Christian man, I feel like God has given me the ability to do that.  But not if I'm always feeling sorry for myself for one reason or another.  I'm not the only mom whose husband isn't around as much as they'd like.  At least Brian isn't deployed for months on end! 
 
So I guess since I've decided to publish all this, I want you all to know that I'm struggling some.  I would appreciate your prayers and encouragement.  Nathan and I have had some good days this week, so I'm feeling more upbeat, but I know that we'll have a bad day sooner or later.  And I pray that next time a rough patch comes, I can remember that one reason I choose to stay home is BECAUSE I know there will be bad days along with the good.  Not "chose" but "choose", as in a decision that I am continually making, not one I made a while ago and I'm stuck with. 

I want to end this post on a positive note, so I'm going to count a few of my blessings.  Nathan is very healthy.  He is super cute, has an adorable smile and a wonderful laugh.  And he loves to laugh.  And when he laughs, I laugh with him!  I have a wonderful family and group of friends.  I can't think of anything I've ever REALLY needed that I didn't have.  And throughout my life, there were times when I didn't understand God's plan for me, but looking back I can see how God has used the situations and challenges that have faced me to build me into the person that I am today.  Thank you God for being so generous to me!

Nathan and I have been going to the city pool 2-3 times per week this summer.  My neighbor asked me, "Are you trying to turn him into a fish?"  Well... yes.  Nothing says "summer" to me like the combo of sun and water.  Preferably at the beach, but the pool comes in at a pretty close second.  So in the best interest of fun summers for years to come, I want Nathan to love the water just as much as I do.  Plus going to the pool gets me and Nathan out of the house and helps pass the time while Brian's at work.

The city pool we go to has a splash pool, where Nathan and I usually spend most of our time.  It seems that every time we go, we have at least one little kid (usually a little girl) that decides Nathan is going to be her new pool friend.  From the little girl, probably 3, who just wanted to sit next to Nathan and stare at him, to one going into 3rd grade that kept saying "Nathan's so cute" and "I'm going to call him 'Mr. Tongue' because he always sticks his tongue out."  As Nathan is usually interested in what the big kids are doing, he tends to enjoy the special attention. 

However, even with the big kids to watch and the toys I bring for entertainment, eventually Nathan bores of the splash pool.  So we strap on his life jacket and head for the big pool.  They now have slightly smaller life jackets then the one Nathan was wearning at the beginning of summer, but they are still pretty large on him, which I think is part of the reason that Nathan seems resigned to our time in the big pool.  He mostly likes to stay on my hip, but sometimes will be ok with me holding him under his arms right in front of me.  We practice going underwater, and he sputters and kicks and looks at me like "what in the heck do you think you're doing to me!?!"  But anything more daring then that would make him unhappy, not that he was actually happy to begin with.  That is, until this past Saturday. 

I'm not sure what the difference was, but finally Nathan was enjoying the big pool!  He was looking all around and smiling.  Then he saw something that made him giggle!  I was able to hold him by the life jacket at arms length, and he was happy!  We spun, we splashed, we laughed, we blew raspberries at each other.  We had a great time!

To continue the recent trend of video posts, here is Nathan playing Peek-a-Boo with me.  I'm not playing with him, he's playing with me (or, to be less cryptic, he initiated the game with me).  Enjoy!

Nathan and I continue to have fun playing with blocks, but we are always looking for new games to play.  I decided to hide his cherished cylinder block the other day, not knowing if he would "get" hide and seek yet.  Turned out I underestimated him again!

So I'm pretty pumped that Nathan's reached the 8 month mark because that means we are ready to introduce lots of new foods!  The current menu was getting pretty monotonous: pears, prunes, bananas, avocado, sweet potato, carrots, butternut squash, peaches, applesauce, apricots, oatmeal, peas, green beans, chicken.  Well, that doesn't sound too bad, but with three meals a day, every day tends to be only a slight variation on the last.  BUT, we're already rolling on introducing new foods and that's pretty exciting for both me and Nathan. 

I have already introduced mango and blueberries.  I'm now feeding Nathan a serving of blueberries every morning (along with his daily prunes to help him, you know...) since they're such a "superfood".  Then last week I introduced papaya parsnip spinach and yogurt.  *Sigh* So I went to the Hispanic supermarket to get a papaya.  As I think I've mentioned before, I'm trying to use this "introducing foods to Nathan" to hopefully expand the variety of fruits and veggies that we eat in the house.  So, the papaya... they're pretty big and I couldn't remember if I had actually tried and/or liked papaya, so when I saw some halves that were pre-cut, I thought that would be perfect.  Well, I got it home and opened it up... and it smelled pretty unappetizing.  Not to be deterred, I scooped the seeds out and started slicing.  Luckily I tasted a piece before I got the food processor dirty because it was GROSS!  I'm not sure if I got an overripe or bad fruit, or if I just don't like papaya, but let's just say that our compost pile got a nice helping of papaya and Nathan didn't get any.

Onto the parsnip.  I peeled, chopped and steamed the parsnips, then tried a bite.  Not bad, kind of different.  Then I tried another piece and *whew* not good.  It reminded me of the taste of a bad, old carrot.  Again, the compost pile was the recipient of another large donation.

As I mentioned my troubles to Brian, he insightfully said  something like "there's a reason that obscure fruits and veggies are obscure", and  I may have to agree with him on that point. 

But I continued my day of cooking baby food, and ended up with some new and yummy combos. We have: green beans/carrots/sweet potatoes, carrot pieces, spinach/peas/sweet potatoes, butternut squash, sweet potatoes/carrots/butternut squash.  This should be enough for a few weeks of meals!