Today's sermon take-away was "Do what God says and then see what God does."  When I heard that my thoughts went back 12 years ago when Daniel and I were dating, and he told me he didn't believe in using birth control.  Sure, ok, I can deal with that...  We got engaged and revisited the subject...still cool with everything.  As it gets closer to the wedding, and I've shared with family and close friends our plan for kids (or lack thereof) I start getting told how crazy we were and that we were doing the wrong thing.  The seeds of doubt were sown in my little fairytale.  As a young, naive, people-pleaser, I started to believe them.  The night before our wedding I told Daniel we needed to talk, and that I didn't think I could go through with "our" plan.  Lots of discussion, lots of tears, and the question of "do we call this thing off??"  I took a leap of faith that night, trusted in the Lord and the man that I believed He had given me as the spiritual leader of our household.  Sometimes, though, when you take a leap of faith it takes awhile for your belief to catch up... We got married, and yep, got pregnant on our honeymoon.  There are a lot of personal details, but those first three months became very stressful and I had a miscarriage at 14 weeks.  A pathology report later would tell us it would have been a boy. :)  Three months later pregnant again, and exactly one year to the day after my miscarriage, a beautiful birth story unfolded.  Thirty-three minutes shy of midnight, I was holding a beautiful baby girl a week earlier than she was due!  LORD, you ARE the great redeemer.  How could I ever doubt your plan for me??  I wish I could say that it's been bliss ever since, and my belief in this no birth control thing was set, but it wasn't.  We got pregnant with baby number 2 the day I stopped nursing baby number 1...they are 22 months apart.  Still "newly" married, learning about each other, the push and pull that goes with it, adding another child, buying a house...things were getting tough.  Then, along comes baby number 3...what am I doing??  I can't keep up, I have three babies at home, my parents divorce, things go into crisis mode, I need help, Daniel's job is keeping him away with longer hours...this no birth control thing HAS TO STOP!  It doesn't, though.  I press on in my faith and honoring the convictions of my husband.  Baby number 4 comes along, and for the most part I start to feel some peace.  Four girls, too.  What a great, even number of kids to have. NOW would be a good time to stop.  Daniel's hours are horrendous at work, I need him more than ever to help with this family HE wanted, right?  Come to find out, the ever increasing horrendous hours were from no new hires, and an eventual whole department layoff.  I had been wanting him to quit for awhile, but Daniel is a man who stays faithful to his work unless The Lord calls him otherwise.  I wasn't the most supportive wife, yet he's so patient with me.  This layoff was such a blessing, but where was he going to work next?  And, with four small children, being without a job needed to be a short time.  He looked, networked, applied, interviewed, entertained a franchise opportunity (we are SO glad he didn't pursue this).  The Lord provided for us during this time in such sweet ways.  Those are some of the best memories.  He was unemployed four months when a former mentor from church called and asked if he was still looking for a job.  Daniel took what he had to offer, and that job has been such a blessing for our family.  Everything's great, right?  Wrong.  I was getting overwhelmed again with our four young girls just in time to find out baby number 5 was on it's way.  I cried.  I really did.  I wasn't ready to do this again.  But, the Lord is so sweet.  He puts just the right people, some of the sweetest, most supportive friends, in my path, and we also find out we are having a BOY!!  We also decided that this would be our first home birth.  The pregnancy, the excitement of having a boy, the birth...they were all amazing.  (It was also within this year that Young Living came along and gave me purpose outside of just doing the mommy stuff.  Healing for the body and spirit).  Now, as I am just a little over 7 weeks away from having baby number 6, I am more content and at peace with "our plan" than ever.  I embrace the difficult days and adore the the five gifts that God has given me.  As we've worked on our marriage, I also see Daniel as my partner in this endeavor, and not just the guy with the crazy idea.  I have seen and continue to see what God has done in my life through all of this and wouldn't change it for anything.  Some people still think we are crazy, but now I smile with confidence and contentment and think that maybe they are the ones missing out. ;)

Imagine waking up on Christmas Day at 4:30 in the morning not because you're excited about Santa coming, but because your body is telling you a baby is coming!  I had to go to the bathroom and felt the slightest hint of a contraction...and 10 minutes later there was another one.  It took me about an hour to make sure and then I texted my midwife, Jenee, as a heads up.  With my history of rapid labor I didn't want to waste any time.   Next, I sent a text to my good friend Jessica who was planning to photograph the birth, but told her no rush (I didn't want her to miss out on Christmas with her kids!)  We planned a home birth and had rented a birthing tub (with a thermostat so it would stay warm and so Daniel wouldn't have to bail water out!).  My midwife told us to go ahead and start filling it up thinking we would have a baby by lunch!  So, I woke Daniel up telling him today was the day and then went to the living room to wake my mom telling her we were getting ready to have a baby.  She and Daniel started filling the tub with hot water.  Next thing I know there was a knock at the door and it was Jessica!  She had rushed right over. :)  It was about 6:30 then.  She had already had Christmas with her kids (early risers!)  My contractions were feeling more real, but staying only about 8-10 minutes apart.  The kids woke up about 7:15 and we were able to enjoy opening gifts and having a "normal" Christmas.  I liked that there wasn't any interruption to our usual Christmas morning, but it all felt very strange to me since I was a bit preoccupied with anticipation and what was going on with my body.  Jessica stuck around, took some pics of our morning, and left around 10 since nothing seemed to be happening with me as far as labor and birth were going.  Jenee, my midwife, had said that labor may slow down with all of our activity of the day and she was right. This seemed very strange since my births usually go very quickly.  I kept in touch with Jenee through text and phone calls throughout the day and since I was progressing slowly she got to enjoy Christmas with her family as well!  I pretty much spent the day wondering and waiting and pacing.  I took a shower after Jessica left and put on some comfy clothes.
In an effort to minimize distractions and try to speed things along, Daniel's parents came to get Joelle and Jordyn around 12:30 and take them to Daniel's sister's house to enjoy lunch and time with family.  (We had planned for Sonya and Sage to stay for the birth.)  Coincidentally, we had exchanged our gifts and celebrated on Christmas eve with his family.  The afternoon dragged along as we waited and waited and nothing was really happening.  I had contractions on and off, but it was like I really wasn't even in labor.

Around 2:00 p.m. it started snowing!!  It was turning out to be a white Christmas in Texas!  This was adding even more excitement and memories to "birth day."  Sonya was excited to go out and build a snowman.
My sister-in-law, Jill, who is a physical therapist, decided to come over around 4:00 to massage my "trigger points" to try to get my labor going.  It may have helped because my contractions started coming slowly.  As it got later, the weather seemed to become more treacherous, and as we ate dinner, with my contractions increasing, it was starting to get dark.  I was afraid it would take Jenee a long time to get to my house so I texted her to make sure she was okay to drive in the snow and ice.  She seemed to be fine with the idea, but said she would go ahead and leave her house just in case.  I was grateful she was on her way because it made me nervous that she might not make it for the birth.  I think it was about 7:30 when she arrived and I will never forget her standing in the entry way, assessing the atmosphere, and telling us what to do!  Too many lights, too many people, too much activity!  She sent Daniel and me to our room to relax and labor, turned the music down in the living room, dimmed the lights, and sent everyone (kids, Jessica, my mom and Gerald) to different rooms so I could just focus on labor.  Sonya says she was 'trapped' in her room. :)  While I was laboring in my room, Daniel and Jenee were working to get the birthing tub to the right temperature.  Jenee would check on me periodically, help me relax during contractions or put pressure on my sacrum to give some relief.  Another moment I will never forget is when I was sitting on my exercise ball tensed up during a contraction and Jenee putting her hands on my head, then my shoulders, then my knees as I closed my eyes as she quietly told me to relax my whole body from top to bottom.  It was at that moment that I knew we were meant to have our babies at home with a midwife.  Through the Lord, she cared for me, helped me, calmed me, empowered me to do what my body was meant to do.  Contractions were getting intense.  I stayed mostly rocking on the ball, humming through contractions, but stood up and swayed for a few of them while Jenee would put pressure on my back.  Finally the tub was at the right temperature and I was ready to get in!  That hot water felt sooo good!

It really does take the edge off.  Between contractions we all would talk and laugh.  Jessica, my mom, Sonya, and Sage had come back in the living room.  I didn't notice much except Daniel, Jenee, and Miranda (the assistant midwife) who were right by me.  At one point between contractions I asked Jenee when she would know it was time for me to push.  I'm used to being in a hospital bed with a nurse checking to make sure I was dilated enough and tell me to do so even though I had already felt ready.  Jenee just said "Oh, you will change your sounds."  Okaaaayyy.  Well, sure enough, not two minutes later, I felt my baby was ready to make his entrance and my sounds sure changed!!  I wasn't humming anymore!  I was already up on my knees with my arms crossed over the side of the tub, but she told me to move to the other side and bring one leg up (knee up, foot down) to give the baby more room.  With the next contraction I felt the urge to push and when I did my water broke!  While I was pushing I had my head down and Jenee softly telling me to take it easy so I wouldn't tear.  That was so helpful.  Just letting my body do what it felt like it needed to do.  The next contraction and push were intense and I was saying AHHHHHH!  pretty loud. (Apparently that part scared Sonya and she bolted from the room).  But with that push he was out at 9:45 p.m!!  (about two hours of active labor) The next thing I know my little boy is floating up to me in the water!  So amazing seeing that little face!  I grabbed him and pulled him up (sorry Daniel!  He was supposed to do that job, but my reflexes got the best of me!)  It was so amazing! 
The next thing I know they are telling me to stand up so I can get a shot of pitocin in my leg.  I knew beforehand this would have to happen since my iron was not high enough before birth and they wanted to help the bleeding stop faster. 
They put a towel around us and helped me out to the couch where I delivered the placenta and nursed while Jenee and Miranda took care of me.  I held him the whole time.  Jenee showed us all (even the kids) the placenta and even gave a little science lesson about it. :)  Jenee checked his vitals and even let Sonya and Sage listen to his heart.



After all that it was time for the herbal bath.  Daniel held him for a little while and then placed him with me in the bath tub where I held him and washed him off. 

After that, I got dressed and then it was time for the newborn exam which took place on our bed.  10 fingers, 10 toes, great reflexes, measured and then Daniel got to weigh him!  When all that was over he was wrapped up then he and I were tucked in our own bed! 





Daniel stayed with us for a little bit, but then he had to go take care of the birthing tub.  Jenee and Miranda told me good night then left to chart everything.  Jessica, my wonderful friend who captured so much of our day and experience, told me goodnight as well.  It was so special to have her there for everything.  What an amazing CHRISTMAS day!  The next morning Daniel's parents brought Joelle and Jordyn to meet their baby brother for the first time.  So cute.  They loved him!  Jessica came back, too, to take pictures of them meeting him. 


Home birth was an amazing experience!

Nathaniel Mark was born on Christmas Day 2012 at 9:45 p.m. at home.  He was 7 pounds 5 ounces and 20.5 inches long.

My precious little babes.  I can't imagine life without them or even remember having just ONE of them.  They fill my heart with such joy and test my patience everyday!  That God would put these four little ones in my hands is such an honor, and although I feel inadequate most days, I know He is the one in control.

Even though we are here at the end of this pregnancy I should probably announce the gender of our baby!  Hopefully I'll have a birth story in a few weeks or less!  I should say there was quite a bit of excitement when we had our sonogram.  I was the first to notice the "boy parts" and yelled "it's a boy!"  Daniel was like "what??"  It was fun.  We got in the car after it was over and I asked Daniel what he thought.  He said he was still in shock and couldn't believe it until the baby was actually born!  I guess having four girls in a row will cause some doubt in the possibility of producing a boy!  Haha!  We are very excited and can't wait to meet our Nathaniel Mark!

One

Two

Three

Four (the best I could get :))

Yep!  You guessed it!  FIVE!  Demaree baby #5 due December 26!