Seeking Him: June 2009

Scott and I had dinner last night with some very sweet friends. It was such an uplifting evening as we laughed, ate, and discussed "life".
One of our topics was savings money. Whenever that topic comes up, Scott's ears perk right up. Last night's topic was coupons. Let me tell you, this friend of mine has got it together. I'm afraid I'm going to be hooked now and anxiously await tonight to get busy. She's the first person I know that gets groceries for free, gets rebate checks in the mail on a monthly basis that would purchase a week's worth of groceries for my family, and sometimes leaves the store with them owing her money! Wow! I was all ears...and Scott was excited! I was amazed at what a good steward she is of her money (and her husband's, of course).
She shared several websites with me:
redplum.com
coupons.com
couponmom.com
moneysavingmom.com....just to name a few.
With two in college now, I need to get busy on these savings. She also shared with me that Harris Teeter is doubling coupons tomorrow up to $1.98. I couldn't wait to go home last night and dig out all my coupons.
Our family is going on vacation in August, and I'm hoping to be able to pay for the entire trip just with my coupon savings...and make my husband a happy, happy man!

All you Dads may want to read this (of course, I'm sure there are no Dads that read my blog, so Mom's, you'll want to print this out for them).
There will come a day when your daughters will start dating. Scott has had to interview two gentlemen thus far...both of them for Lindsay. Heather and I are convinced that God has just that one special man waiting for her. Why go through all that drama and heartache for a guy that's not the one?
This last one hasn't run yet and intends to stay put. Any guy that passes the interview must really like our girls alot. You go in to the study, sit on the sofa, with Scott in the chair leaned back and rather cool acting. You are asked several questions beginning with your testimony. Then you sit patiently and listen. Listen, while Scott shares the commitments that our girls have made and that those commitments had best not be broken.

These following rules came from W. Bruce Cameron (I have no idea who he is but this is so funny). Enjoy!

10 Simple Rules For Dating My Daughter

Rule 1: If you pull into my driveway and honk you'd better be delivering a package, because you're sure not picking anything up.

Rule 2: You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter's body, I will remove them.

Rule 3: I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys of your age to wear their trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling off their hips. Please don't take this as an insult, but you and all of your friends are complete idiots. Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose this compromise: You may come to the door with your underwear showing and your pants ten sizes too big, and I will not object. However, in order to ensure that your clothes do not, in fact, come off during the course of your date with my daughter, I will take my electric nail gun and fasten your trousers securely in place to your waist.

Rule 4: I'm sure you've been told that in today's world, sex without utilizing a "barrier method" of some kind can kill you. Let me elaborate, when it comes to sex, I am the barrier, and I will kill you.

Rule 5: It is usually understood that in order for us to get to know each other, we should talk about sports, politics, and other issues of the day. Please do not do this. The only information I require from you is an indication of when you expect to have my daughter safely back at my house, and the only word I need from you on this subject is "early."

Rule 6: I have no doubt you are a popular fellow, with many opportunities to date other girls. This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my daughter. Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little girl, you will continue to date no one but her until she is finished with you. If you make her cry, I will make you cry.

Rule 7: As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my daughter to appear, and more than an hour goes by, do not sigh and fidget. If you want to be on time for the movie, you should not be dating. My daughter is putting on her makeup, a process that can take longer than painting the Golden Gate Bridge. Instead of just standing there, why don't you do something useful, like changing the oil in my car?

Rule 8:The following places are not appropriate for a date with my daughter: Places where there are beds, sofas, or anything softer than a wooden stool. Places where there are no parents, policemen, or nuns within eyesight. Places where there is darkness. Places where there is dancing, holding hands, or happiness. Places where the ambient temperature is warm enough to induce my daughter to wear shorts, tank tops, midriff T-shirts, or anything other than overalls, a sweater, and a goose down parka - zipped up to her throat. Movies with a strong romantic or sexual theme are to be avoided; movies which features chain saws are okay. Hockey games are okay. Old folks homes are better.

Rule 9: Do not lie to me. I may appear to be a potbellied, balding, middle-aged, dimwitted has-been. But on issues relating to my daughter, I am the all-knowing, merciless god of your universe. If I ask you where you are going and with whom, you have one chance to tell me the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. I have a shotgun, a shovel, and five acres behind the house. Do not trifle with me.

Rule 10: Be afraid. Be very afraid. It takes very little for me to mistake the sound of your car in the driveway for a chopper coming in over a rice paddy near Hanoi. When my Agent Orange starts acting up, the voices in my head frequently tell me to clean the guns as I wait for you to bring my daughter home. As soon as you pull into the driveway you should exit your car with both hands in plain sight. Speak the perimeter password, announce in a clear voice that you have brought my daughter home safely and early, then return to your car - there is no need for you to come inside. The camouflaged face at the window is mine.