life at 50 something

I set my alarm for 3am to call the Va. offices on the east coast and in a hospital they do shift changes early. I do not know if they stopped him or not  maybe I will hear something tomorrow.
I read today that the brother in law with alzheimer's is now blind. my prayers go out to him and all of those that love him. I am so frightened that J is following in his footsteps and I am the only one to see it. his son doesn't believe me and no longer has any contact with me ....... I haven't heard about him in the news so maybe they are getting him help. wonder if I will ever stop loving/missing him?
I did not get to go back to sleep. this has become a thing for me early mornings late nights.... Z& I were supposed to go to a pot luck, I made clam chowder and a chocolate cake.....tired myself out showering and all, so I tried to take a nap before we left, couldn't sleep, almost forgot the clams in the chowder ! then we had to wait on someone stopping by....I fell asleep and missed my dear C girl stopping by :(  I also slept thru the dang pot luck !
all that work and I slept thru it. what the heck ?








































the good news the puppies are cute ! enjoy the pictures ! just in case you ever wanted to know, spending your time watching puppies grow is very wonderful!

starting at 4:20 am ( I know)  we began the puppy count as of 8:58 am puppy #8 was born. no more since.  I am thinking we are done from the looks of her and the pile of pups. they are big I wish I had a scale to measure them on.  they are healthy and Momma is doing great
as I am typing she wakes and starts panting again....~
well will keep this site informed  ! enjoy the early pictures !
oh and anybody wanna buy a puppy ?
" am I not the most beautiful pregnant blonde ever" ?!
 still has 10 days more after this picture !
 first 3
 tired Mom
 the blondes
 Puppy butt !!!  see the different colors ! 
 I just love this puppy ear and Mommy ear
this puppy is the biggest and noisiest !!

Did y'all see Diane Sawyer's special report? They removed ALL items from a typical, middle class family's home that were not made in the USA .

There was hardly anything left besides the kitchen sink. Literally. During the special they showed truckloads of items - USA made - being brought in to replace everything and talked about how to find these items and the difference in price etc.
It was interesting that Diane said if every American spent just $64 more than normal on USA made items this year, it would create something like
200,000 new jobs!

Buying food the other day at Walmart and on the label of some of the products it says "from China"
for example, the "our family" brand of Mandarin oranges says right on the can "from china",
I was shocked so for a few more cents bought a dole  product from California

Are we Americans as dumb as we appear --- or --- is it that we just do not think the Chinese, knowingly and intentionally, export inferior and even toxic products and dangerous toys and goods to be sold in American markets. ????

70% of Americans believe that the trading privileges afforded to the Chinese should be suspended.

Why do you need the government to suspend trading privileges? DO IT YOURSELF, AMERICA !!

Simply look on the bottom of every product you buy, and if it says 'Made in China ' or 'PRC' (and that now includes Hong Kong ), simply choose another product, or none at all. You will be amazed at how dependent you are on Chinese products, and you will be equally amazed at what you can do without.


Who needs plastic eggs to celebrate Easter? If you must have eggs, use real ones and benefit some American farmer. Easter is just an example. The point is do not wait for the government to act. Just go ahead and assume control on your own.

THINK ABOUT THIS: If 200 million Americans each refuse to buy just $20 of Chinese goods, that's a billion dollar trade imbalance resolved in our favor...fast!!

Most of the people who have been reading about this matter are planning on implementing this on Aug. 1st and continue it until Sept. 1st. That is only one month of trading losses, but it will hit the Chinese for 1/12th of the total, or 8%, of their American exports. Then they might have to ask themselves if the benefits of their arrogance and lawlessness were worth it.

START NOW.
Let's show them that we are Americans and NOBODY can take us for granted.

I have done this in the past and have tried to not buy things that are not made in the USA, but damn, it is hard but I am learning to go with out things.  and that will work out for the best hope everyone is enjoying summer.

I spend a lot of time alone. it is in ways better for me to function, however I fear I could easily become reclusive in nature.  I like the people in my life, now I trust them all to some degree or another.  making new friends takes effort,  and I am not able to tell when people are lying to me .....obviously lying and I believe....  I gave from love so I know I did right there, but towards the end I did get bitchy about money,   yep,  but by then I knew, you knew what you were doing, and you wouldn't stop till it was all gone, so I gave it away ! & boy does that still roast your nuts !!
as I continue to give away things I paid good money ....God bless every items new owner, let their lives not be ruled by greed. 
"find love" everyone says it's the "answer" ..well, maybe my question was different.
I am continually reminding myself the loss I have suffered in nothing when compared to the families suffering the continuation of life without a loved one. finding a new normal is a daunting task with no compass or map.
I have gotten older this week than one birthday should have allowed !  I look around with oldness in my eyes, a tiredness I have never known before, but have seen it in the eyes of the very old at nursing homes when I was a small child. I am not old, I am 48, I have all of my life ahead of me and wonderful memories mixed in with great lessons behind me,  I am not going to let this put me 6 feet under it still feels as if there is a reason I am still here(...maybe that's just nature "dangling a carrot" to keep me on the treadmill. )
           "reaching out, reaching in,touching truth, touching skin,
   never letting the light slip away... and we walk with the power everyday"

Lord,
help stop the needless suffering, watch over my loved ones near and far.
bless them all and help them to live always with Love Laughter and Light.
help me to be of service to one and all, in your name, Amen.

Love comes at us from some many different directions I am learning to be a mirror to continue the beam!
smile through the tears things will get better.  Love will come into my life again if only I can let it !

August rolls on.....

 

check this out ! hoping it works bare with me if it doesn't
http://www.gi.alaska.edu/AuroraForecast.