"That's what she said"

My 8-year-old son’s favorite shirt is his Superman T-shirt. That might be because it’s his favorite shade of blue or because it’s the softest cotton shirt he owns. Or maybe it’s because when he wears a Superman shield on his chest, he feels just a little braver, a little smarter, a little more SUPER? Gosh, I hope so.

My boys' elementary school, a public school, is in the process of implementing a mandatory school uniform policy. Under the current proposal, a child will be sent home from school if he or she comes to school wearing anything other than the red polo shirt purchased from the one vendor selected by the school, at the price set by the school (a price which is roughly estimated to be $10-12 dollars, because even if the shirts only cost $8, the school plans to charge parents more to create a “fund” from which to purchase shirts for those who cannot afford them--42% of the school qualifies for free lunch!--essentially a “uniform tax,” a tax which is unauthorized, unlawful and discriminatory, but that's another essay). So if your Superman shirt makes you feel a little smarter or luckier on test day? Sorry kid, you’re out of luck.

Is this reasonable? Many contend that mandatory school uniforms in public schools violate the rights to freedom of expression and religion, the right to privacy, and the right to a free public education. Expressing one’s independence through dress is an important aspect of child development. If you can’t be Superman in second grade, when can you?

Of course First Amendment rights can be reasonably restricted--No yelling “Fire!” in a crowded theater, and no wearing your bathing suit to kindergarten Johnny! Dress codes are a reasonable restriction on freedom of expression. A mandatory uniform policy in elementary school is excessive. The reasons behind implementing the uniform policy at my sons' elementary school are not for behavioral or gang issues (which are often the justification at higher grade levels), but rather to “foster school spirit.” This troubles me for two reasons.

1. When did school spirit become more important than performing your best on a test? Many experts contend that young children learn best when they are comfortable, and what is comfortable is as unique as the child. The best test-takers figure out what works for them: the number one guy in my law school class took every exam in a full suit and tie; the number two guy preferred sweats. In preparation for the upcoming CRT exams, the school recently sent a letter home encouraging children to “wear comfortable clothes” for the exams.

2. When did school spirit become more important than constitutional freedoms? Should it be? Uniforms teach children you must look the same in order to belong, and thereby discourage creativity and diversity. I am reminded of the conversation in the movie The Incredibles in which Dash complains because his mother won’t let him try out for the track team:

Dash: You always say ‘Do your best,’ but you don’t really mean it. Why can’t I do the best that I can do?
Helen: Right now, honey, the world just wants us to fit in, and to fit in, we gotta be like everyone else.
Dash: But Dad always said our powers were nothing to be ashamed of, our powers made us special.
Helen: Everyone’s special, Dash.
Dash: [muttering] Which is another way of saying nobody is.

It appears the school has decided it is time for kids' school identities to become their only identities.

I'm hoping there might still be time to restore reason and shift the emphasis back to educating children rather than clothing them. I'm going to the school board meeting, and I'm encouraging more parents to attend the next uniform meeting on March 16, 2011 at 5:15 pm in the school's library. First Amendment rights, like super powers, should never be easily conceded.

*Sometimes being Mom to 5 Super boys requires heroics.

Thank you for my intendo DS.

Please bless that my DS will work.

Please bless that I won't drop my DS.

Please bless that I'll be good and be able to play my DS.

Please bless that bad guys won't break into the house and steal my DS.



*Sometimes that jolly old elf hits one out of the park.

Is it just me, or does this picture remind anyone else of Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy?



Trying to keep up with everything. Just keep trying, just keep trying . . .

Whispered to Aunt Valerie shortly after Ben was born: "You know, my mom pooped out the baby."

Dramatic pause.

"Or . . . she reached down her throat and pulled him out."

Testing . . . One, two, three. Is anybody out there? Does this thing even work anymore?

The short list of what I've been busy with:

1. FIVE. Um yeah. I had a baby in May. Ben sleeps really good through the night. I remind myself of this fact while he: 1) vomits repeatedly (darn that reflux!), 2) insists on being held while napping, and 3) pretty much insists on being held when awake. He's not my worst baby, but he's not my best either (Peter, I knew you were freakishly good!). But hey, Ben sleeps through the night, and has since about three weeks. (For real! And it's okay if you don't believe me--I've had those kind of babies too, and I wouldn't have believed me either.)



2. Little League, FIVE boys at home all summer long, swimming lessons, vacation bible school, AYSO, doctors' appointments, piano. It's a good life, the life that's busy, right? I kept telling the boys we would do fun stuff in a couple more weeks--just until Ben was a little older. Next thing I knew, summer was over. Now we've added homework to the excitement.


3. LAUNDRY. Most recently, bedding--sheets, blankets, mattress pads. Every couple days. For those of you unfamiliar with boys, I'll let you in on a little secret. It's very common for boys to not stay dry overnight. Eventually they outgrow it. I hope. I really, really hope. In the meantime, we are walking drunken sailors to the bathroom every night around 10:00 and hoping for the best. And washing a lot of bedding.

4. 24. Holy crap, where has Jack Bauer been all my life? We signed up for streaming Netflix and watched three seasons this summer. During a "season," we watched multiple episodes every single night. We had to take a break--saving the world is so exhausting. Whew. Now I sorta wish I had special ops training. Had I seen this show before May, there's a very good chance numero cinco would have been named Jack (the Jake/Jack fact notwithstanding).

5. Diet Pepsi with vanilla syrup (sugar free!). This iced glass full of goodness is my favorite thing about the afternoon (or morning). Shhh! I'll let you in on something: this just might be the savior of my sanity.


More posts coming sooner . . . I need to write stuff down before I forget it.