{for those of you who have been anxiously waiting....}

for my own sanity I have to somewhat make light of this post. I am not a very open person when it comes to sharing intimate details of my life and if I don't find the humor in my situation I might seriously lose it. (and i've definitely done that too many times already!)

almost 3.5 years of blood, sweat, tears and the following:

laparoscopy
6 months of clomid (horrible, horrible experience that I can somewhat (a tiny, tiny bit) laugh at now).
femara (similar to clomid without the horribleness)
2 inter-uterine inseminations with stimulation hormones (basically artificial insemination)
follistim shots (to stimulate production of follicles and eggs)
HSG (hysterosalpingogram) (to make sure my tubes weren't blocked)
bloodwork more times than I can count. basically my left arm NEVER, ever wants to be poked with a needle again!
HCG shots (to trigger ovulation)
progesterone pills (some of those kind and some of the other kind. ekk. I actually peed my pants one time because of this hormone. Who knew loss of bladder control was a side effect? I do now...)
ultrasounds....also more than i can count... let's just say that during one of my recent ultrasounds, when the tech couldn't find my left overy I told her how to find it...by feel.
weekly appointments with a homeopathic doctor for about 6 months
chinese herbs like pre-fem.
uterus therapy with laser therapy (don't even ask.....)
reflexology (which was actually terribly painful each time I had it done)
doterra oil (particularly clary sage)
gluten-free diet for 4 months now
{as you can see I've been pretty desperate and have been willing to try anything and everything...}
And finally after a year and a half of going back and forth because of nerves we did INVITRO!-
That included:
dozens of shots (who knew I could give myself shots in the stomach and thighs with really ugly looking needles? and mix the right concoctions of medicine to boot?)
more bloodwork
more ultrasounds
estrogen patches
lots and lots of progesterone
hormones lupron, bravelle and menopur...essentially over the past month my body as gone from a menopausal state to a state of extremely high estrogen. yikes.
baby aspirin
vitamins like nobody's business (things like B vitamins, wobenzym, vitamin D, magnesium, calcium, pycnogenol, selenium, of course pre-natals and extra folic acid)
egg retrieval procedure which included being put under.
embryo transfer--worst part was that I had to have a VERY, very, very full bladder (I almost peed my pants a second time...). And it took extra long because I have a very "tricky" cervix position. oh joy.


And honestly,  I know I'm forgetting some things!!!
(Austin has also had to go thru a lot...if you ever get the chance ask him about the incident in the Timp hospital PUBLIC bathroom (and the large german lady with the mustache!)).

Sorry if I've used too many "womanly" terms for you! These have become my life lately!!! That and researching EVERYTHING ivf related. I know terms like "DH, dpo, dpr, dpt, AF, BFN, BFP, POAS" because I have been obsessed with reading forums. I know what makes a perfect embryo-- things like cell number, cell regularity/shape, fragmentation. I've looked at more pictures of embryo's than I'd like to admit. I probably could've graded my own embryos!!!
No cooking blogs, online shopping or decorating websites for me, it's all been fertility, ivf, or baby related.

But it's all been soooooooo worth it!





Austin has been so so so wonderful during this whole process. He really knows how to keep me grounded. He's my rock. I couldn't have done it without him (or his swimmers!) :)

We are over-joyed, beyond thrilled, so so so so so happy, ecstatic, delighted, pleased and every other word describing extreme happiness.
I am definitely still in shock..... I always, always knew I'd be a mama one day but I never thought I would say the words "I AM PREGNANT!"  But I AM! :) :) :) :) :)

Many, many (eternal) thanks to everyone who prayed, fasted, sent positive (and sticky) vibes, brought me dinner, checked up on me, showed concern in one way or another, gave me blessings, put my name in the temple, came to appointments with me (thank youuuuuu Errin!), made me gluten-free treats & pizza, let me vent to them, gave me advice and pep talks, and were just here for me (and Austin) when we needed it most. You all have been my own personal angels and I am overwhelmed with the amount of love I have felt over the past couple of months!

I am truly blessed and SO, very grateful.
Happy birthday to me!!! :) My heart is full.


{by the way, we have a couple of hurdles to overcome this month. Particularly doubling hcg, normal levels of progesterone and estrogen, and a heart beat! so please, please keep those prayers coming!}

Visiting Austin in Chicago:

I have been SOOOOOO incredibly busy-I am now on call 24/7 with my job. I am on the phone constantly, sometimes I think it's payback to Austin who is ALWAYS on the phone with his job and other times I just feel bad for him-because of his job, his phone has been permanently attached to his ear for 7 years, ugh!-- blogging has become such a task. even reading blogs is a task these days.
I can't keep up with what's going on in my own life, nonetheless keep up with other people's lives-sorry!
My husband leaves TOMORROW for 5 months--boo! So I imagine I will have PLENTY of time
to catch up on the blogging world, all the tv shows I am dozens of episodes behind in, the un-finished projects in my house and all the cleaning/organizing--o-the organizing alone could take months.
I think I'll be a new woman by the end of the summer. Let's hope anyway! :)
























































I can't believe we are 3 months into 2011--where does time go?!