We dressed up as Kip and La Fawnduh from Napoleon Dynomite for our Oscar Party tonight. Josh won for best costume!! He was pretty scary looking... a total transformation! Now I have to go wash all of this make-up off.

I've taken a little break from explaining last year (my hands got tired!), and I wanted to share something I heard in church last week that has stuck with me. In order for salt or light to do their job, they need to be distinctly different. Just the smallest bit of light penetrates a dark room and changes it. Christ followers are the light, and in order to penetrate "the darkness", we need to be distinctly different. I fell into a trap today and was negative and gossiped at school today. I blended in with the world!

"You are the salt of the earth; but if the salt loses its flavor, how shall is be seasoned? It is then good for nothing but to be thrown out and trampled underfoot by men. You are the light of the world. A city that is set on a hill cannot be hidden. Nor do they light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a lampstand, and it gives light to all who are in the house. Let your light shine before men, that they may see your good works and glorify your Father in heaven." Matthew 5:13-16

(And Kim, it took me like 30 minutes to find this! I promise I'm not good at it either!!)

I barely mentioned perspective in my last blog, but that has been a huge part of all of this to me. My perspective had been completely off (especially during high school and college), and it was centered around me. God continued throughout the summer to slowly open up little doors for me that led to more and more wisdom and understanding. I felt like it all started coming together for the first time, what it was all about (Not that we will EVER know what it is ALL about until we get to heaven, but things were generally starting to become more clear). Then, I got busy with school starting and completely lost focus again. Well, about a week after school started, one of our Kindergarten teachers went to get her hair done and collapsed on the ground. I was actually at the school on that Saturday when some of the teachers got the first news of it happening. By Sunday, we were all told that she had barely any brain activity going on and that if she made it, she would be a vegetable. I kept thinking, I barely know her, but she was still in my mind from seeing her in the hallway yesterday! She always gave me a big smile and asked me how I was doing. How could I have just talked to her Friday, and now she'll never be the same?? Well, I saw God work in so many amazing ways through this tragedy. I know that not every teacher at my school is a Christian (most are, though), but the Monday after that, our Principal called a faculty meeting to talk about it, and they decided right then and there to take it to the Lord in prayer! I thought that was so awesome that they did that in a secular work place! I was brought to tears being able to pray openly with all of my co-workers. The feeling in that room was amazing. Some of the teachers decided to start praying every day after school in a room, just pleading with God to restore her. Two incredible things came of that. First, Deby made a miraculous recovery that shocked even the doctors. Every day or week it was something else that came back. What a blessing that was!! Second, the feeling I had every day as I left school after the prayer group was the best feeling I had felt in a long time. Spending the end of my work day with my sisters in Christ in prayer just made me realize that that was what it was all about. It put life into perspective (the right perspective), and I felt so much peace and contentment from spending that time with God. (That time is usually such a busy, frantic, tired time when I'm worn out from the day). I realized that God's way is so much more fulfilling than the way I usually make for myself. (By the way, as I'm writing this, I'm realizing that I need to start doing this again! This is good therapy, Amanda!) My Bible class teacher put it in a good way. He said that God created us and knows exactly how to fill us up, satisfy us, make us whole, and knows the only way to make us completely content. We go about our lives trying to do it ourselves, but it only leads to more hunger and thirst and lonliness. An update on the teacher, she is home now, still recovering, but has her personality back, her sense of humor, and is doing really well. Her memory is still not completely back, but she truly is a miracle.

After asking God to work on me, I didn't realize how quickly and powerfully He'd start doing it. It all started with a series on money at my church in Dallas last January. We talked about it for 2-3 months, which seems like a long time, but I left every Sunday in awe and inspired. I didn't realize how important it was for us to give with a happy heart and release that feeling that it was my (or Josh's and my) money. In Malachi 3:8-12, it talks about money so strongly as if we are robbing God and says that they were under a curse because they were robbing Him of His money. He says to test Him (WOW) on whether or not he'll bless them if they started giving with the right spirit. I've heard people say "Well, that was the old law, we're not under that anymore." I learned that we should actually give more than what was expected back then, because more is expected of us since Jesus died for our salvation. Pretty interesting thoughts. I think that money in our society is huge, and to give enough up every week that you feel it in you lifestyle, you are telling God every week, "I trust you. I love you. This is yours to begin with, so thank you for what you have given me, and here's a portion of your money back." That really hit home to me because money meant (used to mean more but still means) so much to me. I have always struggled with materialism and wanting, wanting, wanting. I didn't think about it all of the time, but when I did, I envied people who lived the wealthy "Dallas" lifestyle. I thought they had something I didn't. I thought that I wasn't sinning, because it was just normal to feel that way, and when the Bible would talk about that, I would just skim over that part. This all kind of hit me in the face that it is NOT good and God is NOT ignoring it. I NEEDED to change that about myself. I prayed and prayed for God to release this desire, and He did. I'm not saying I don't still struggle with it from time to time, and I am no where near perfect on this, but I felt that freedom of desiring that lifestyle. It is the most freeing feeling not wanting that, and it has also taught me many other lessons about perpective and how God is in control. Now, I need to continue to work on separating need from want...(i.e. a new pair of shoes each season!) I honestly don't know the right boundary there. Any thoughts on that?