Our home study and application was sent to the orphanage TODAY!!! We cannot be put on the waitlist yet because we haven't recieved CIS approval yet but our sw just wanted to get us on their "radar"...AHHH....I AM SO EXCITED! How great! This means that as soon as we receive approval from CIS, we will be on the waitlist. YES!!! This might seem small but to me, it is HUGE. I can't stand it!! One. STep. CLOSER. oh and we just need ONE more thing for our dossier to be complete..that's it! one!!

I really can't stop smiling...

Lately, Owen has been saying, "Mommy, I need ..." I kindly explain to him that he really only needs food and water (shelter and a little clothing) and he has all of that and more so he is really okay. I then ask him to say, "Mommy, I would like ...., please." Today, while holding a banana in one hand and a cracker in the other, he kept saying, "Mommy, I need a chip! Mommy, I need a chip!!" (I was eating a tortilla chip:) I kindly responded, "no you don't." He then said, "Mommy, I would like a chip!!" Without any prompting!!

I know he doesn't fully *get* it yet but I am encouraged because it is a start...small as it may be!

In the past few months, CA has been giving out approval within a month. Great news!

Here's to hoping for approval by the end of April!!!

Today after too many weeks of waiting for revisions and more revisions and more, we sent off our home study to US.CIS. FINALLY. Seriously, it has been way too long since we started all of this. When we first started this whole process, I asked everyone how long it took to complete the home study. I would get answers from anywhere from 2-4 months. I thought, "oh surely, we will get it done in 2 months!" Not. the. case. Obviously. I think we officially started our home study process mid October and now it is March 23. A little over 5 months. mmmh. While I have been frustrated at times, I am so thankful that it wasn't done before A changed jobs. If it was, it would have cost us more in revisions and then to send an update to U.SCIS and to our adoption agency...well, it would have been wasted money. And while everything is getting worked out in country, it would have been even more frustrating to have approval and be waiting until certain decisions were made for adoptions in the future.

While I would have liked to have it done a few weeks ago..(we had our last interview on Feb. 7)..I am thankful it is done now. Completed! Finished!! YES!!! AND it is in the mail to USC.IS. I also sent off a packet to our adoption agency with most of the documents for our dossier today. Talk about nerves. I was a mess when I walked out of Kinkos. I am still not sure why. I think I have been waiting so long to send those packets that I was so relieved when I finally did. I felt like I could breathe. I also am super nervous that the home study will not get into the right hands since we sent in our I600a back before Christmas and did our fingerprints in Jan. I kept thinking (and still am thinking) maybe I should have sent a copy of our application and our fingerprint appt. with the home study to gaurantee they know what to do with it and where it goes. But this is their job. Right?!?! They will know what to do with it and how to process it! At least that is what I keep telling myself:)

There has been so much uncertainity lately with the country that I think I have been guarding my heart. I was still completely in it but just a little hesitant to fully believe it would actually happen. We got good news last week and it seemed too good to be true. It was. (I am being very vague on purpose, please ask me privately to elaborate because I would love too!) More paperwork is required, more people have to get involved. More time is going to have to pass. Needless to say, I haven't let myself "feel" the emotions for awhile now. Today, sending off those two packets was a way of surrendering. Surrending to God's timing and His perfect plan. I know it exists. I know we are in it. I know I have to trust more fully and hope more fully as well.

Nobody ever said adoption was going to be easy and frankly, when we started this, it seemed to good to be true. The timing, the process, everything. I do know for fact that this sweet child is so worth the fight. So worth the wait, Worth the cost. Worth the tears and the pain. and so worth the JOY!

O: Mommy have a baby?? Mommy have a baby?? (while tugging on my shirt)
Me: WHAT?!?!?! (thinking...do I look like it??)
O: Mommy have a baby? Mommy have a baby?? (all smiles!)
Me: O-boy where is Babyu??
O: mmmmm
Me: Where is babyu?
O: In Africa!
Me: Right!
O: Babyu is in Africa...pick up Babyu on airplane!

Yes, sweet boy, Mommy has a baby...not in my womb but in my heart.


***side note: after talking to my mum last night, we figured out it was because a friend of ours had a baby early in the day and another friend is having a baby today...so that has been the talk around here. So thankful that it isn't because he thinks I have put on a few pounds:)***