on nov. 12th, my Mr. came home and asked if i had called anyone or written any emails about another child..i told him that i hadn't yet (too busy getting ready for our boutique)...he then told me with a smile on his face and a sense of urgency that i should...if you have been following our journey then you know that i had the desire to adopt before him so this was SUCH a big change for me. i loved it!! amazing how God works. unbelievable.
the following monday, the 15th, i sent out a few emails, made a couple calls...made another call the 16th or 17th...nothing really came of any of them but one contact told us they would be going to the hospital the following day and to call back in a week.
a week went by..still praying for God's leading...called back and indeed, there was a 3 week old girl. a 3 WEEK old GIRL. she was found on the 15th and we called the next day or the day after....when they went to the hospital, they already had it in their minds that we were to be her family...we were told that her name was Kirabo (pronounced "cheeribo") and means "gift"....then we were asked what we would like to call her....both- still in shock, my husband and i just looked at each other with huge eyes. speechless. were WE this child's family?? YES! we immediately wanted her!! such a GIFT!! at this point, we were already in love! we had been praying for a child and this seemed too good to be true. we didn't fully realize the person was saying that she could be in our family. we got off the phone, giddy with excitement. just taking it all in. a sweet girl. could this be real?? a daughter...?!
we decided to wait a couple of days to call back, check on her and ask if she could be our daughter. we called on wednesday, the day before Thanksgiving...wasn't able to talk, so we woke up early on Thanksgiving and made the call. with butterflies in our tummies (ok, mine for sure...can't speak for the mr:), we said that we felt like SHE was to be our daughter and asked them if this was ok.....we were then told that we had already been matched with her during our last conversation. we did have a good laugh over that... lost in translation i guess. we didn't really want to assume that was what we were being told. and really, how many times can you ask someone to repeat themselves in one conversation.??
we were ecstatic. thrilled is such an understatement. we had chosen the name Emilyn which means "peaceful home" because we were hoping and praying we could be that peaceful home. my Mr. always wanted an "emi"too..how cute is that?! Emilyn Karibo. Perfect. she would have two older brothers to love on her. All of them would be about 17 months apart...the papers were set to be ready so that we could travel, pick up and return as a family of FIVE. from 3 to 5. yes, crazy. but oh. so. good. ours lives would radically change. but this life is so not about us. we were ready. we called friends and family to share our amazing news. she was part of our family. we longed for her and babyu to be with us on Thanksgiving as we sat around the table. we envisioned next Thanksgiving with all 3 of our children together under one roof...it was pure bliss. we were so thankful and in awe that God was writing this amazing love story. really it couldn't get any better.
friday came and i ordered two little sleepers online for our sweet daughter. thought about her and babyu ALL. day. long. wishing them home. with us. their forever family.
saturday came and i started packing and setting aside some girl clothes that i had been collecting over the years.....
then my dear friend Jen called..i was thrilled to tell her the good news. i hadn't been able to get ahold of her because of the holidays...as soon as she said hello, i knew something was wrong...but we went on to talk about our Thanksgivings...i couldn't keep it in any longer...i blurted out that she was ours....she (in the sweetest, most sensitive voice ever) told me that she died. our baby girl died..
she had an asthma attack and just couldn't fight it. after all, she was just about 8 1/2 lbs (pretty healthy but not strong enough)...they gave her oxygen but it wasn't enough. they tried. they did all they could. but it still wasn't enough. it kills me because it is so preventable. so preventable. she was gone just like that. as fast as her sweet little bean came into our family, she left.
we had no idea when we named her "peaceful home" that God would have other plans for her life. and honestly, i can't think of a more peaceful home than heaven. i just keep wondering why?? why did it seem so perfect. why was it so perfect?? one day she was here and then she was gone.
i can't help but think, that maybe, just maybe....she was in a little less pain because of all the prayers that were prayed for her in those days. maybe she struggled a little less. maybe, she knew that she was truly loved and adored because that is what we have prayed for babyu since day 1 and that was our prayer for her. even if it was only a few days, she was truly loved. truly loved. part of our family. we knew her name. she was not a statistic to us. she had a sweet face, little lips and precious fingers...
she was loved. and adored.
