How would I react if my phone rang, and it was the chief telling me I needed to come to the hospital because Mr. FEO was hurt? How would you react if it was your significant other?
I've gone over that scenario so many times and so many different ways in my head over the last four years that I don't think I'll ever really be prepared if that day actually does come. Just when you think you've covered every possible tragedy, something happens to shock you into place.
My girlfriends, M and J, got calls this morning. They were told to come to the hospital. The names of the injured hadn't been released yet. The media is certainly no help in this. They didn't know if their husbands were okay. I'm not even sure how they made it to the hospital. Adrenaline must kick in at some point. Thank GOD their husbands are both okay, physically. The girls are a wreck and the men are worse. Mr. FEO's best man (M’s husband) was literally 10 feet from disaster ... he told my husband that he could leave work in the morning and never go back. He has two little girls at home. J’s husband was transporting one of the injured. They have two little girls at home too.
However, there are some very brave men in critical condition tonight. Some very brave wives are by their sides surrounded by family (both biological and the fire family) and friends. It was a rough day for firefighters and their families around here. I’ve spent the better part of the day alternately crying and staring into space trying to calm the pit in my stomach.
Please send your prayers to these brave firefighters and their families.
So I come back to the question … how would I react if I got that call? My husband was safe at his fire station miles away from where this all happened. But bad fires can happen in any city, at any time.
And I am scared out of my mind of that.
Friday, August 13, 2010
THE call. The one we fear most.
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
Going Crazy!
I am so nervous for my appointment on Friday.
I hate hearing "Oh you didn't ovulate" time and time again.
And I'm nervous that if they say I did ovulate, and I've been taking cold medicine, that I'll end up causing birth defects of my phantom unborn child, and feel guilty for the rest of my life.
UGHHHHHH. Why couldn't I just stay healthy??
I hate hearing "Oh you didn't ovulate" time and time again.
And I'm nervous that if they say I did ovulate, and I've been taking cold medicine, that I'll end up causing birth defects of my phantom unborn child, and feel guilty for the rest of my life.
UGHHHHHH. Why couldn't I just stay healthy??
Monday, June 7, 2010
Still Sick.
Yes, I'm still WAY under the weather, and last night was probably the worst of all so far with the coughing.
I don't know if it's because last night was the first night I opted not to put Vicks Vapo-Rub on my chest or if the cough was just going to be bad regardless.
I'm taking Sudafed for the congestion (even though it's not "pregnancy safe") because I need the relief. I'm quite sure I'm not pregnant right now. If I even ovulated this cycle, it was probably not until sometime yesterday, or maybe early today. Being sick though, I'm not really sure.
I'm also taking a prescription cough pill (which the doctor at the urgent care said is safe for pregnancy) that seems to help during the day, but I tell you ... as soon as I try to lay down, I just cough and cough and cough. I have NO voice.
I'm guessing I'm going to stay home for one more day just to try to rest up some. I am trying not to use any of my leave because on the slim chance we do get pregnant, I am going to want to have at least 8 weeks off. I have about 12 weeks total in my bank right now, so I'm okay and I know we'll cross that bridge when it comes. Still, I am trying to be careful.
As for calling in tomorrow ... that will be the 4th time in 7 years that I've called in. It's just not something I do lightly, and I feel horribly guilty every.single.time which is why I so rarely do. Luckily, I was already off today, so it didn't count!!
On Friday, I'll go for my b/w and u/s to check my response this cycle. I'm not going to hold my breath, but I'll update one way or the other afterwards!
Happy?? Monday!
I don't know if it's because last night was the first night I opted not to put Vicks Vapo-Rub on my chest or if the cough was just going to be bad regardless.
I'm taking Sudafed for the congestion (even though it's not "pregnancy safe") because I need the relief. I'm quite sure I'm not pregnant right now. If I even ovulated this cycle, it was probably not until sometime yesterday, or maybe early today. Being sick though, I'm not really sure.
I'm also taking a prescription cough pill (which the doctor at the urgent care said is safe for pregnancy) that seems to help during the day, but I tell you ... as soon as I try to lay down, I just cough and cough and cough. I have NO voice.
I'm guessing I'm going to stay home for one more day just to try to rest up some. I am trying not to use any of my leave because on the slim chance we do get pregnant, I am going to want to have at least 8 weeks off. I have about 12 weeks total in my bank right now, so I'm okay and I know we'll cross that bridge when it comes. Still, I am trying to be careful.
As for calling in tomorrow ... that will be the 4th time in 7 years that I've called in. It's just not something I do lightly, and I feel horribly guilty every.single.time which is why I so rarely do. Luckily, I was already off today, so it didn't count!!
On Friday, I'll go for my b/w and u/s to check my response this cycle. I'm not going to hold my breath, but I'll update one way or the other afterwards!
Happy?? Monday!
Saturday, June 5, 2010
A new low.
I'm sick. As in, haven't slept in 3 nights because I've been coughing. Now I've got some mild congestion along with the aches.
I had sex last night ... and then, right after, had a huge fit of coughing and threw up. Luckily I ran to the bathroom as soon as I realized what was about to happen, but talk about embarrassing.
Is this what TTC has become? Forced sex while sick that results in vomiting? Never mind the fact that I'm sick as a dog is probably going to prevent me from ovulating anyway.
Ugh. I feel like such an idiot.
So we spent 3 hours today at the urgent care where they gave me a breathing treatment, a new inhaler and some cough pills for the coughing. I can continue to take the regular claritin and also tylenol as needed (since the coughing is making my head, back and neck hurt like crazy).
I am so ready to just be healthy again!!!!
I had sex last night ... and then, right after, had a huge fit of coughing and threw up. Luckily I ran to the bathroom as soon as I realized what was about to happen, but talk about embarrassing.
Is this what TTC has become? Forced sex while sick that results in vomiting? Never mind the fact that I'm sick as a dog is probably going to prevent me from ovulating anyway.
Ugh. I feel like such an idiot.
So we spent 3 hours today at the urgent care where they gave me a breathing treatment, a new inhaler and some cough pills for the coughing. I can continue to take the regular claritin and also tylenol as needed (since the coughing is making my head, back and neck hurt like crazy).
I am so ready to just be healthy again!!!!
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
CD14 and allergy hell.
I promised updates on my cycle along this journey, so here's a bitty one :)
Friday started our every-other-day adventure in baby-making. It works out rather well, as that's CD 9, 11, 13 so far ... and we'll get 15, 17 and 18 in there before Mr. FEO leaves for a 3 day stretch at the fire station from CD 19-21, coming home in the morning on CD 22, then leaving again for 24 more hours on CD 23. BLAH to the fire service for that schedule.
I hope that if I'm going to O, it happens sometime this week, before he leaves on Monday morning. That would be the ideal world ... but who knows. I probably won't anyway ... but I'm letting it be more fun this time. The vacation helped A LOT with all that.
I have my next u/s on CD 23 to see if I responded to the meds this time. If not, I'll start provera because I am going to insist on a visit from AF this time. I need that time to be depressed and move on!
I'm also soooo sick right now, well allergies sick, because of the F'ing COTTONWOOD monsters. My chest is tight and I'm coughing up a lung, my head hurts, my throat hurts and yes, I'm a big baby. Because of the study, I can only take pregnancy safe medications - so just plain old Claritin (which doesn't work) and Tylenol (which also doesn't work and gives me a stomach ache). I was up all night because of the sore throat and I'm MISERABLE. I just want to curl into a ball and do nothing for the rest of the month until those trees are done wrecking havoc on my system. This can't be good for TTC.
I can't work out either, because it's in my chest and that's just not healthy. :::cries softly:::
Can we go back up north now???
Friday started our every-other-day adventure in baby-making. It works out rather well, as that's CD 9, 11, 13 so far ... and we'll get 15, 17 and 18 in there before Mr. FEO leaves for a 3 day stretch at the fire station from CD 19-21, coming home in the morning on CD 22, then leaving again for 24 more hours on CD 23. BLAH to the fire service for that schedule.
I hope that if I'm going to O, it happens sometime this week, before he leaves on Monday morning. That would be the ideal world ... but who knows. I probably won't anyway ... but I'm letting it be more fun this time. The vacation helped A LOT with all that.
I have my next u/s on CD 23 to see if I responded to the meds this time. If not, I'll start provera because I am going to insist on a visit from AF this time. I need that time to be depressed and move on!
I'm also soooo sick right now, well allergies sick, because of the F'ing COTTONWOOD monsters. My chest is tight and I'm coughing up a lung, my head hurts, my throat hurts and yes, I'm a big baby. Because of the study, I can only take pregnancy safe medications - so just plain old Claritin (which doesn't work) and Tylenol (which also doesn't work and gives me a stomach ache). I was up all night because of the sore throat and I'm MISERABLE. I just want to curl into a ball and do nothing for the rest of the month until those trees are done wrecking havoc on my system. This can't be good for TTC.
I can't work out either, because it's in my chest and that's just not healthy. :::cries softly:::
Can we go back up north now???
Monday, May 31, 2010
A Romantic Getaway!
Okay, so when I say that Mr. FEO and I took a romantic getaway for the weekend, you probably wouldn't believe me when I say that this was one of the first things we saw:
I have no idea why the pictures didn't upload in the order I wanted them, but it's okay ... I'll go with it! This is Mr. FEO and I with the spectacular view from Willow Vineyards behind us, on part of our winery tour on Saturday.
We went to our first two wineries, and as we were on our way to the third, we were driving through Suttons Bay, and what do we see .... an old fire station that has been converted to a pub! Of course we had to stop, and have a quick beer. Why not? We were drinking away the afternoon anyway, and it was a nice change for Mr. FEO who isn't much of a wine drinker.
I think this is my favorite picture of the two of us from the entire weekend. We had just pulled up at our first winery (the one most highly recommended by the innkeeper), and met this nice older guy outside (turnes out he's the OWNER of the place!) who offered to take us over to the exact spot where the GPS's determied was the 45th parallel - the exact halfway point between the equator and the north pole. He told us the story and also how there are several couples every year who want to get married at that exact spot. We think it's totally romantic and altogether a great story.
Before checking into the inn, we had a little over an hour to spend beforehand, so we did a little bit of sightseeing. This picture is from the Maritime museum. The story here is that the Coast Guard workers would use a little train car to pull their boats to the end of the tracks you see here (they were never any longer than this) and then drag the boats across the dune sand to the lake in the distance. It was closer than it looks here, but you couldn't pay me to do that, that's for sure!
What a VIEW!! Not just of the lake either ... Mr. FEO is quite a looker :) I love this picture of him!!
A self portrait of us ... we always have these on our trips because we don't generally feel comfortable asking strangers to take our picture (the exception being the winery owners who helped us out for the above pictures)!
Lake Michigan ... in the distance you can see one of the Manitou Islands, which are said to represent the bear cubs that gave Sleeping Bear Dunes its name. I kept repeating over and over again during this vacation that it was so hard to believe that we were still in Michigan. Looking at this lake is exactly like looking at the ocean. 
But, as a matter of fact, it was! Right after we checked into the inn and got some information from the innkeeper, we went on a drive ... and this is what we saw along the way :)
I have no idea why the pictures didn't upload in the order I wanted them, but it's okay ... I'll go with it! This is Mr. FEO and I with the spectacular view from Willow Vineyards behind us, on part of our winery tour on Saturday.
We went to our first two wineries, and as we were on our way to the third, we were driving through Suttons Bay, and what do we see .... an old fire station that has been converted to a pub! Of course we had to stop, and have a quick beer. Why not? We were drinking away the afternoon anyway, and it was a nice change for Mr. FEO who isn't much of a wine drinker.
I think this is my favorite picture of the two of us from the entire weekend. We had just pulled up at our first winery (the one most highly recommended by the innkeeper), and met this nice older guy outside (turnes out he's the OWNER of the place!) who offered to take us over to the exact spot where the GPS's determied was the 45th parallel - the exact halfway point between the equator and the north pole. He told us the story and also how there are several couples every year who want to get married at that exact spot. We think it's totally romantic and altogether a great story.
Before checking into the inn, we had a little over an hour to spend beforehand, so we did a little bit of sightseeing. This picture is from the Maritime museum. The story here is that the Coast Guard workers would use a little train car to pull their boats to the end of the tracks you see here (they were never any longer than this) and then drag the boats across the dune sand to the lake in the distance. It was closer than it looks here, but you couldn't pay me to do that, that's for sure!Anyway, now for what was supposed to be the beginning of this post:
Mr. FEO and I needed a vacation. All the stress in our lives was really getting to us. Sooo, smart man that he is, he suggested that we take a trip up to Northwest Michigan. We did some wine tasting at a few wineries (45 North, Cherry Republic, Willow Vineyards and Black Star Farms) and one cidery (Tandem Ciders). We also drove along the Pierce Stocking Scenic Drive which had some spectacular views, we went to the Sleeping Bear Dunes Coast Guard Maritime Museum and made short stops in Leland (aka Fishtown), Suttons Bay and finally Traverse City on our way home.
All on his own my dearest husband found this bed and breakfast ... The Sylvan Inn in Glen Arbor ... and made a reservation for us to have the "Treetop Room" which is the top floor of the back building seen here toward the left of the picture.
We spent two nights at the Sylvan Inn, and hope to make this an annual Memorial Day trip for us, which would be absolutely wonderful.
What a VIEW!! Not just of the lake either ... Mr. FEO is quite a looker :) I love this picture of him!!
A self portrait of us ... we always have these on our trips because we don't generally feel comfortable asking strangers to take our picture (the exception being the winery owners who helped us out for the above pictures)! 
Lake Michigan ... in the distance you can see one of the Manitou Islands, which are said to represent the bear cubs that gave Sleeping Bear Dunes its name. I kept repeating over and over again during this vacation that it was so hard to believe that we were still in Michigan. Looking at this lake is exactly like looking at the ocean. 
We went down to the beach on Saturday night to watch the sunset ... it was absolutely gorgeous and I am so glad we were able to see this on our last night in paradise.
I leave this vacation feeling completely refreshed and ready to tackle the next few months. We have a very busy summer, and this was a fantastic way to kick it off!!!
HAPPY MEMORIAL DAY!!!
Thursday, May 27, 2010
Opening back up!
Well, I decided not to keep this private anymore.
So here I am ... back to the blogging world allowing readers and followers :)
I'm having an exceptionally bad day, infertility-wise, but Mr. FEO and I are leaving to Glen Arbor, Michigan for the long weekend tomorrow morning. Even though we have to cut it a day short since he has to work on Monday, it's well worth it. We need this vacation!!!!
Have a wonderful weekend!!
So here I am ... back to the blogging world allowing readers and followers :)
I'm having an exceptionally bad day, infertility-wise, but Mr. FEO and I are leaving to Glen Arbor, Michigan for the long weekend tomorrow morning. Even though we have to cut it a day short since he has to work on Monday, it's well worth it. We need this vacation!!!!
Have a wonderful weekend!!
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)
