Steph, Jeff, and Co.

I woke up at 4:00 on the morning of November 3 with Jeff's alarm. I was experiencing some contractions as he went about getting ready for work, but I tried not to get my hopes up - I had been having contractions in bed for weeks. But eventually I allowed myself to accept that these were stronger, more frequent, and just felt different. I got up to use the bathroom and produced a large amount of blood in the toilet - now I knew for sure that things were happening!

I went out to the living room to find Jeff and let him know he should probably stay home from work, only to find that he had already left. Whoops! I called his work and told his coworker to have him call me as soon as he got to work.

From there I spent some time packing last-minute items in the hospital bag; calling the babysitter, the midwife, and my parents; and breathing through the contractions. Jeff called at about 5:00 and was excited to hear that it was happening and he needed to come home!

After Jeff got home and we got the babysitter set up with instructions, we headed to the hospital. Contractions slowed considerably during the drive over, but continued to increase in intensity. At triage I was checked and found to be 4 cm and 90% effaced. We were left to labor for a while in triage until I progressed further.

At first I was able to relax through the contractions, probably looking much as though I were taking a nap. Here I am between contractions, still smiling and peaceful.


But as the contractions grew stronger, deep breathing and mentally going over my birthing affirmations wasn't enough. Once my water broke, I had Jeff provide counter pressure by squeezing my hips, which helped a great deal. The nurses came in to check my progress and make sure my water had actually broken. At this point I was about 6 cm. Then I was once again left to labor in peace.

Jeff alternated between squeezing my hips, pressing on the small of my back, and pressing my knees, and I have to say now how much I admire and am grateful for his stamina! This part was hard work for both of us.

At one point I threw up, after feeling like I needed to for some time. It was actually a relief because it took my mind off the contraction I was experiencing at the time.

I'm not sure of what time it was during any of this. I couldn't see a clock anywhere, and would probably not have paid attention if I could. But soon I found that the contractions were more bearable if I bore down and pushed a bit while I was contracting. At that point I paged the nurse and said things were getting intense and could we move to labor and delivery soon? I didn't mention that I was already pushing, though I probably should have. Sneaky me.

The nurses wheeled me down the hall to the labor and delivery unit, and it was a very unpleasant trip - Jeff wasn't able to provide counter pressure while I was in the wheelchair, so the contractions were less bearable.

Having expressed a desire for a water birth, I was taken to the room with the big tub, already full of steamy warm water. I stripped down to my sports bra and climbed in. It felt so nice! I knelt and leaned forward against the back corner of the tub, threw off my glasses, and labored, while Jeff got his sleeves nice and wet with squeezing on my hips again.

Finally I mentioned that I was pushing, because I could feel that the baby was moving down. I turned over in the tub so the nurse could check baby's heart rate. At this point Jeff could no longer reach me to provide counter pressure, because I was now sitting with my back in the far corner of the tub, but I was able to provide my own by pushing my feet against the sides of the tub.

Contractions continued to increase in intensity, and I continued to push. Even though I've always been very vocal during active labor (momma roars are a real thing), this time I didn't do any more than some low, quiet moaning and groaning. The whole mood of the room was peaceful and quiet.

The midwife had me move between contractions to a nearer corner of the tub so she could reach the baby if needed. Finally I felt the baby crowning, and after several more pushes, between which I was able to reach down and feel my baby, the head was birthed, followed by the body. What an incredible experience it was! I brought him up out of the water to my chest, nurses and midwife wiped him and covered him with a warm, wet blanket, and I just sat there in the water holding my baby as he looked up at me. I cooed at him while we rubbed his back, legs, and tummy to encourage him to breathe and cry. He was so beautiful!





After the cord stopped pulsing, I cut it, then the baby was handed to Jeff while I made my way out of the tub and into bed.

I had no tearing, so didn't need any stitches. The baby latched on and nursed strong for about 40 minutes, after which he was checked, weighed, and measured. Official stats: Matthew Norman Basker was born at 8:35 am (after only 4 1/2 hours of labor!), weighing 7 lbs 8 oz, measuring 20 1/2 inches.



I'm so grateful and feel so blessed to have had such a beautiful, amazing birth experience. The whole thing still feels very surreal. And very wonderful.

I kept trying to put this in a Facebook post, but there were too many details and I couldn't keep it succinct. I like my Facebook posts to be short enough that people actually want to read them. So blog post it is!

Eight weeks ago, I decided that it was time to get healthy. It was time to take more control of my eating, and to exercise, and basically to take better care of my body. For eating, I'm just trying to eat less. No more extra helpings, no more late-night snacks, no more binge sessions. Just moderation.

For exercise, I chose a couch-to-5k program. Technically, it more of a couch-to-30-minute program, but that doesn't sound nearly as catchy. Basically, it takes someone with a fitness level of pretty much zero, and has them running for thirty minutes at a time by week 9.

I just finished my last workout of week 8, running for 28 minutes.

There are three workouts each week, and I do them on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays. On the days when I don't run, I do other exercises. I enjoy Pilates, aerobic dance, and Tae-Bo. 


And I'm not going to stop after week 9. I'll keep adding a little bit to my time each week, until I actually can run the full 5k. At my speed, that will probably be somewhere around 45 minutes. After that I'll either slowly work my way to 10k or some other distance goal, or I'll work on my speed - doing the 5k in less time. Anyway, I'm in this for the long haul - I'm committed to running as a way to get healthy and fit, and then as a way to maintain that health and fitness.

People talk about a "runner's high" that they get when they go for a run. I think I have experienced something like this, except that I don't like running. I look forward to my run days, I'm excited to lace up my super-pricey running shoes, and after my run I feel great! But while I'm on the treadmill, man, I just really don't like running, and I never have. So really it's kind of ridiculous that I chose running to get healthy. But it just seemed to make sense.

But whether I like running or not, I like the fact that I do run, and I like what it is doing to my body. As far as weight goes, I've lost about 6-7 pounds in the last eight weeks. Not as much as I would have liked, but I'll take it. I've lost an inch off my hips, and two inches off my waist. I've dropped a ring size. I'm getting tone and definition in my thighs. Zaylee and Jeff have both pointed out several times that I'm getting skinnier.

Anyway, if nothing else, it gets me to take a shower 4 times a week, which, I'll be honest, I haven't always been good about...

I wasn't going to post my resolutions here, because basically this blog is a forgotten entity. But I decided I should be accountable somewhere, even if no one even reads this. And it's too much to write in a Facebook status.

I have two resolutions this year. Clean and organize the house, and get healthy. Simple, basic. Stuff most people resolve to do every year and give up within a week or two. But still, I hope to actually accomplish these two things.

Resolution 1 - Clean and Organize

My plan for cleaning and organizing is FlyLady. I am starting with the 31 simple baby steps to establish habits and routines for decluttering and eventually having a clean and organized house.

I started by "shining" my kitchen sink. Because I have a tan-colored granite composite sink with a matte finish, it won't actually shine. Even the fixtures won't really shine, being oil-rubbed bronze. But I can clean it thoroughly and make it gleam. When it's clean it's beautiful. I first "shined" it on January 1st. Over a week later, I have maintained that state of cleanliness.


Forgive the beat-up walls and lack of back splash. That's something we'll work on later this year.

Anyway, what started as a clean sink slowly spread throughout the kitchen. Wanting to keep the sink clean, I've kept up with the dishes. The counters get wiped more often.


Even the table gets cleared and wiped, instead of leaving dishes and crusted-on gunk for days at a time.


Now the whole kitchen, despite being incomplete (like I said, we'll finish the remodel later this year), is a clean and pleasant place to work in. I have actually been making bread because I have a clean surface to knead the dough. And I clean up that surface immediately, wiping away the flour and the sticky bits of dough off the table and washing the measuring and mixing dishes before the dough has been rising for 10-15 minutes. And it feels great!

A clean kitchen encourages cleanliness elsewhere. I have been able to get the living room in some semblance of order. Even though there's still a pile of wood in the corner that needs to be put out in the shed, at least we can walk from one end of the room to the other without stepping on toys and papers.


I even decluttered the computer desk. This was a huge area of clutter for me - trash and papers and all sorts of junk would pile up and pile up. There was barely enough room to move the mouse around, and I was constantly worried that one pile of papers or other would topple over if nudged too hard. But now the computer desk is cleared off, all the trash thrown away, and all the important stuff put away. It's much more pleasant to be at the computer now.


Of course, this is just a small portion of the house. There are still two bathrooms, four bedrooms, a large family room, and a laundry room that are all filthy. So my goal is to continue to use the FlyLady system and eventually declutter all throughout the house. Once I've gotten rid of what we don't need, don't use, and don't love, I'll be able to truly beautify our home.

Resolution 2 - Get Healthy

This resolution comes with a lot less of a plan, and a lot less initial success. But here goes nonetheless.

This year I want to lose weight and get healthy. I've been gaining weight steadily since Audrey was born four years ago. Now, at about 210 lbs, I am the heaviest I have ever been. I am not going to pick a specific amount of weight I'd like to lose, or a specific dress size I'd like to eventually be. My goal is not about weight or size, it's about being healthy and feeling good about myself.

That being said, there are some non-scale victories that I definitely want to see happen this year, in no particular order.

- I want to be able to sit in my reclining chair without feeling like my neck fat is trying to choke me.
- I want to lose my double chin.
- I want to be able to put on my shoes and socks without having to grab my pants to heave my foot up to where I can reach it.
- I want to be able to sit comfortably on the floor, and then stand up easily.
- I want to sleep comfortably on my side again, without my weight causing pain in my shoulder and numbness in my arm.
- I want to be forced to buy a whole new wardrobe of cute clothes that fit me properly and are flattering.
- I want my upper gut to not stick out farther than my lower gut.
- I want to have less heartburn.
- I want my waistband to not dig into my tummy when I sit.
- I want to be able to wear my wedding ring again.

I had a great deal of weight loss success years ago by keeping track of my calories and exercising regularly. I've tried on a few occasions to get back into doing this again, but always seem to lose motivation quickly. Well, FlyLady advocates doing 15 minutes of "loving movement" (aka exercise) everyday. Once I add this to my daily routine I should be more motivated to get it done. If I can just get my eating under control I really hope to be able to accomplish at least some of the things I listed in the next year.

Anyway, this is what I hope to accomplish this year. With FlyLady I've made a promising start. Maybe I'll actually even post updates throughout the year, no promises though.

Everyone has their own little day dreams. Things that they really want, but haven't been able to achieve yet. Open a restaurant, write a book, stuff like that. My day dream? The thing I think about and yearn for but don't know how to achieve? To be the kind of person with a clean, beautiful house. To be able to look at my surroundings as enjoy what I see. To be the person who washes the dishes right away, who puts things away right away, who does a quick clean-up before bed each night.

I keep seeing commercials for swiffer sweepers, wet jets, dusters. They are supposed to make cleaning easier, make it so you spend less time cleaning and more time enjoying your life. For me, using any of those items would be adding to the work I do - since I don't do any sweeping, mopping, or dusting in the first place.

I tell myself that if I get the house clean, I'll be able to keep it that way. But it never turns out that way. We have cleaned before, gotten the house looking nice. We've had people come over and help us clean. But I never keep it up. Inevitably, the mess creeps back in and the house looks disastrous again.

I want so much to go through the entire house and throw away everything we don't need, don't use, don't want. I want to start from scratch, clear out the house and put it back together one piece at a time. Paint the walls, renovate the kitchen, make over the bedrooms, the living room, the family room, the bathrooms. I want to decorate, and make everything look pretty. I want the clutter gone. I want everything to have a place, and I want everything to be in its place.

But I want it all at once. I feel that if I do anything, I have to do everything. If I clean the kitchen, I have to clean the dining room. If I clean the dining room, the living room needs to be done too. Then I have to clean the bathroom, and the upstairs bedrooms. If I do the upstairs, I have to do the entryway and the downstairs. The family room, the kids' rooms, the bathroom downstairs. Clean the walls, paint over all the "art" on the walls, replace the carpets, take down the wallpaper, install new fixtures in the bathrooms, scrub the grout, build a bed frame for our bed, find beautiful artwork, reupholster the wing chairs in the living room, get rid of the hide-a-bed and move the couch, rearrange all the furniture.

And the list in my mind keeps growing and growing, and I get so overwhelmed I give up before I start, and nothing ever gets done.

Anyway. That's just my rambling. Whatever.

Finally writing this down, two weeks later, so that I get it taken care of before I forget everything! :)

On the morning of Monday, Aug. 13, I went in to the clinic for my routine weekly check-up. Earlier that morning I had been having contractions about 4-5 minutes apart. I thought that I was in labor, but they petered out after about an hour and a half.

At my appointment, everything was fine except that my blood pressure was high and my hands were looking puffy. My bp had been high the previous week as well, so the midwife suggested that I go to OB Emergency Services at the hospital to be screened for preeclampsia. I was a bit concerned with how long this would take, since that day was school registration for Zaylee and Thomas, and I didn't want to miss that.

I spent a couple of hours at OBES, where my blood pressure was checked every fifteen minutes. Blood tests for preeclampsia came back negative, but my blood pressure continued to be high. Because gestational hypertension (pregnancy-induced high blood pressure) can quickly escalate to preeclampsia, which can be harmful to both mother and baby, the midwife on duty, as well as the high-risk doctors she consulted with, strongly recommended that I be admitted for induction right away.

Induction with pitocin was something that I very much wanted to avoid - I'm passionate about natural childbirth. But the risks to baby's health and my own overrode my desire to avoid medical intervention. I did ask about the possibility of breaking my water to start labor, but as of my check-up that morning, baby's head was too high in my pelvis and there would be a risk of cord prolapse.

So I was wheeled across the hall to Labor and Delivery. By this time, Jeff had registered the kids for school, found someone to watch the kids for the night, and arrived at the hospital to be with me. I got all set up in the delivery room and hooked up to an IV. All that was left was for the midwife on duty at L&D to come and talk with us a bit, and order the pitocin.

Waiting to get the show on the road!

Jeff and I waited for the midwife for several hours. We sat through episode after episode of House Hunters International, we chatted a bit, we sat around doing nothing. Finally, a little before 7 in the evening, the midwife came in and talked to us a bit about what we were going to do. Then her shift ended and a new midwife came in.

By this time, I was tired of waiting! But the long wait ended up being a blessing in disguise. When the midwife checked my cervix, she found that during our long wait the baby's head had descended enough to make it safe to break my water - minimal risk of cord prolapse. Hooray! So we were able to induce labor a bit more naturally and avoid the pitocin altogether.

When the midwife broke my water, she discovered meconium in the amniotic fluid. This didn't really make any difference in the labor and delivery - there was already going to be a pediatric team in the room for the delivery because I had a history of shoulder dystocia (shoulder getting stuck in the pelvis, this happened when Audrey was born).

After my water was broken, Jeff and I were left alone to do our own thing for a while. I spent early labor listening to my affirmations, deep breathing, and basically just relaxing as much as possible. Soon though, the contractions started getting stronger and I got the shakes. I could not stop shaking violently. I felt like I was going to chew my tongue off and I couldn't control it. I had Jeff help me through the contractions by pushing really hard on my lower back, and later on my knees, as the contractions got more and more intense.

I was so grateful for the midwife at this point. She helped me to stay focused during the contractions. She reminded me to keep my voice down low instead of high-pitched, she told me how great I was doing, she helped Jeff provide counter-pressure by pushing on one knee while he pushed on the other. She remained calm despite my yelling and roaring. It was just so helpful to have her there with me.

As I got closer and closer to delivery, people started coming in and getting everything ready. The pediatric team was working on the warming table, the midwife was working on her stuff, and the nurse kept reminding me not to push yet, don't push yet, try not to push. Yeah right. At this point, I was doing whatever my body felt like, and it felt like pushing! I feel like everyone was running around frantically while I sat there and pushed. The stirrups were going up as I felt the head in the birth canal and yelled, "He's coming!" A few pushes later, and he was out. It was 12:23 am, August 14.

The midwife put him right up on my chest and I said over and over, "My baby, my baby! It's over, it's over! My baby!" I was alternating between being so happy that my baby was there in my arms, and being absolutely ecstatic that I was no longer in labor.

Baby was taken over to the warmer to be checked by the pediatric team. He was given a bit of oxygen, and because of hospital policy, that meant he had to be taken to the nursery for observation. But they left him with my for about 15 minutes before taking him, which allowed us to have our first feeding and some sweet bonding time.







We have named our sweet boy Phillip Stephan Basker. Stephan is pronounced STE-fun, like Stephanie without the -ie. At birth, Phillip weighed 7 lb. 14 oz, and was 21 inches long. He has a head of somewhat dark hair, and looks so much like our other kids did when they were born. He's only been here for 2 weeks, and I already can't imagine life without him.

Been a while since I posted, so I thought I would put up an update on the kids.

Zaylee: Has been doing very well in school. School time isn't her favorite, she would rather be playing. But once we get into her lessons she does well and forgets that she's supposed to be kind of grumpy. Her favorite subjects are Language Arts, when we read stories together and talk about them, and History, where we are learning about the continents and various countries and customs in each continent. Her least favorite subject is Phonics. Even thought she is good at it, I think the repetition makes it kind of boring for her. I haven't figured out a way to make it more interesting and fun for her yet.

Zaylee is also growing in other ways. She just lost her second tooth today, which means the tooth fairy needs to get on the ball and see if she can't find a quarter floating around somewhere. Zaylee is also a huge helper around the house. She helps keep Audrey entertained by playing with her, she helps to set the table for meals and clear the table afterwards (though we often have to remind her). Whenever I need help with something, she's my little go-to gal, and is almost always willing to lend a hand. It's great having her around.

Thomas: Has also been doing well in school. He attends a communication-based special-ed preschool once a week, to help with his talking. He continues to improve, and not only can Jeff and I understand most everything he says, but a lot of times other people can understand him too. There are still several sounds he has difficulty in making, but he'll get the hang of it all eventually. He really loves going to school. He's so excited to get on the bus on Friday mornings, I think it makes him feel very grown-up.

Potty training is still a difficult issue with Thomas. When he remembers, or when we remember to remind him, he's good about peeing in the potty. And he has pooped in the potty a few times. But he still poops his pants every single day. His poor little bottom is sore from all the poop, but we just haven't been able to get him to potty-poop with any regularity. Any ideas for that would be happily welcome!

Audrey: Is growing up so fast! She turned two in November and is constantly surprising me with how big and how mature she is getting. She's not my little baby anymore, she's turned into a charming little girl with a vivacious personality. Her smiles are big and sparkly, and her fits are big and loud. She loves singing and dancing, reading stories, and playing with her big brother and sister. She's also learning more and more phrases, and again surprising me with what she knows how to say. It's fun to be around her, always discovering new things about this adorable little person

So now Audrey, Thomas, and Jeff have all gotten whatever I am just now hopefully starting to get over. Even the cat joined the party by throwing up on my bed some time today. The only one who isn't sick (so far, knock on wood) is Zaylee.

Yeah. Wish us luck and speed in getting over whatever is plaguing us, because it ain't no fun!