Life With 2 (+ 1) Redheads

If I were to tell you that I had 25+ friends that I've never met in person or talked to on the phone, would you think I was crazy?

If you don't yet think I'm crazy, then I bet you are thinking of a lot of questions starting with "how?"

I guess it's only natural for me to find people this way. First, my husband on match.com and then a group of wonderful friends. No, I'm not a dork.

Around 4 years ago this time of year, I joined a message board on www.babyzone.com when I found out that I was pregnant. I had no clue about pregnancy or raising kids, and I was the first out of all of my friends to get pregnant. So, I used it primarily as a resource for questions ranging from "is anyone else as sick as me?" to "am I in labor?" to "how can I get my child to sleep through the night?!" I learned more from a group of complete strangers than I ever could have learned from a book. What started as a March 2006 due date club that was averaging 20-30 posts a day turned into a March 2006 birthday club with just as many posts, questions, and brags about their little one's accomplishments and milestones. I sincerely felt like I knew every single one of them as well as their children. Mothers of all walks of life were on this message board and could post pretty much whatever they wanted despite how intimate or "TMI" it was.

Around the time Tyler turned two, a smaller group of women broke off and formed a similar intimate group. The difference with this group is that it was private and didn't allow "lurkers" to publicly see information about our kids as well as pictures. We also don't only chat about our kids. In fact, a lot of times we don't mention them at all. But it's still there as a resource should we need it. Again, though we are a smaller group of 15, we chat about anything and everything. Just because a separate group broke off doesn't mean I don't keep in contact with those who were on the first message board. Thankfully through the access of facebook and blogging, I stay up-to-date with them and their families.

Many of my "online friends" have met each other. I have not yet, but I'm certain one day I will. There are people as close as the mountains of NC and Virginia and then as far away as Texas and Canada. No, I'm not afraid that they aren't who they say they are. I can't explain it, but I've come to know these women for four years now and many of them know more than some of my closest friends and vice versa. Each birthday and Christmas, we do a present exchange. I never once hesitate to consider them like I would for any "real life friend."

I still log on every day and see what the latest is. Most have gone through another pregnancy while I watched on the sidelines and rooted them along! Many have gone through major life changes. Some are as young as 21 and others are ....not :) Some are religious. Some are not. Some have only boys. Some have only girls. Some are content with just one child. Some already have a family of three children. Some are stay-at-home moms. And, some work outside of the house. I can tell you something special about each and every one of them.

The one thing that is consistently a common theme among us all is our love for our families and our desire to nurture the companionship that was formed four years ago. I am so thankful for this group of women. I've learned so much in the past years, and I hope that one day we can look back 10+ years from now and have a great story to tell.

Years ago, there was something called pen pals. I consider my "online friends" the modernized version.

But maybe I should move his cups lower!

When I went to pick up Tyler today, he told me he went potty twice at school! I about fell over! His teachers gave him an ultimatum and told him if he didn't use the potty he had to go to the "babies class" (really, the 2 yr old class) and wear diapers. So, he went! After months of trying, he actually went! I hope this keeps up! By chance, I had stopped on the way home and picked up three new books at Ross for rewards. So, it worked out great! I have told Tyler and his teachers all along that when Tyler finally uses the potty at school, I will throw the class an ice cream party. So, if he keeps it up he might get one soon! His teachers were thrilled today, as was I!

He's been stubborn before he was even born. And yes, I mean before he was actually birthed. Eleven hours of labor in which one of those hours was spent pushing, Tyler was not budging. And like that, so many other parts of his personality are strong willed, such as potty training. We didn't struggle with weaning from a bottle. We didn't struggle with weaning from the paci. The move to a big boy bed was fairly painless. All of those transitions that could have been horrible actually went fairly smoothly.

My child is potty trained. But before you yell, scream, and offer to throw us a celebratory party, understand that he will potty everywhere but at school--the place where he spends 40 hours a week. He will pee in a nasty convenience store but not in his decorated boy bathroom at school. His teachers, along with Josh and I, have tried everything.

A further kink is that he will only use the potty if we have his potty seat with us. So, we have to lug it around everywhere we go. I also bring it to school. Not that he goes there, but I bring it in case one day he comes to his senses and discovers that peeing in your pants is not cool. I've kinda dismissed the potty seat dependence because I felt if I could just get him to go at school however he wants then we could start to teach him that he doesn't need it. He doesn't have a whole lot of interest in standing up although he did it one day when Josh wasn't looking. The evidence was behind :) Honestly, there is a height issue there that I just don't understand...

So, I guess I will rejoice in the fact that he is trained at home...and everywhere else besides school. I mean surely this can't go on for long.

Right?

Curtis the crab is no more. In fact, something strange is going on in our house. Sunday, Toby, our dog, came running up to our back door with a dead bunny rabbit in his mouth. Um eww. I'm so glad I paid attention to him because I usually just open the door. I'm fairly sure he didn't kill it. Afterall, he is afraid of bugs crawling towards him. No offense, Toby.

Anyway, last night I called Josh into the kitchen to see what I saw in the hermit crab cage...a detached claw. Um, I really don't know how a claw becomes detached, but it was. And there was Curtis the crab chilling on the other side of the cage.

Like I said, something wierd is going on in our house. First dead bunnies and now detached crabs. ( I was going to say decapitated crab, but Taylor informed me that only refers to heads).

Anywhoo, I guess we will be saying goodbye to Curtis. Once again, I will tell Tyler that this creature will be going to the woods to "sleep."

- I gained 3 lbs at the beach?

- I'm addicted to Facebook?

- I need a hair appointment?

- Tyler still uses the potty everywhere but at school?

- I crave Krispy Kreme doughnuts after eating them at the beach?

- I'm having a hard time workout out after a week's break?

- I want to move to the beach and become a photographer?

Because if I didn't, I did now.

Here is a slideshow with some of the pictures I took while we were at the beach. Click on the link below!

http://www.slide.com/r/oNu6582Clj-9Ft0l2p4L3SddbWVMS5ap?map=2&cy=bb

You can view all the pictures on dropshots.

We had a great time there. In fact, we really didn't want to leave and come back to reality! Tyler was definitely a fan of the pool and favored it over the ocean. He loved jumping in and swimming to the edge with his swimmies on of course. He got his first sunburn which was on his back and shoulders. We lathered SPF 50 on him, but the day he got burned he was out on the beach and in the water more than other days. So, we didn't get it reapplied fast enough. He wasn't in any pain, but it was not a little sunburn either! Aloe helped it within 2 days.

Tyler slept so good while we were there. Of course the bedtimes were later, but that usually has no effect on his wake-up time. He slept each day to 7:30 and to 8:00 the last morning. This is much better than his normal 6am wake-up time!! I actually felt like I had a vacation! His cousins were great entertainment for him. He is still talking about them.

I also got a chance to take beach portraits of the cousins. It was no easy feat considering that I didn't have the most cooperative subjects! But we planned on doing it Thursday evening, and it rained. So, we had to do it first thing Friday morning and I'm not sure Kaitlyn and Tyler were truly awake! However, I think they turned out pretty good! You can see some of them in the slideshow and all of them on dropshots.

We came home with a hermit crab that Tyler named Curtis. Our hopes is that his preschool will take him so that we don't have to take care of it :)

Tomorrow is back to work for me and back to preschool for Tyler. I have a feeling that both will be hard and an adjustment!

Tyler loved his first boat ride yesterday to Figure 8 Island! We went with Karen and her family who have a house down here. Once we got to the island, we played on the beach, in the water, searched for seashells, and walked around. It's so pretty there!

Last night, Tyler had another first with putt putt! He did fairly well at it too! Of course his attention span gave out at times, but overall he had fun. Afterwards, we did the go karts which he LOVED. He loved riding with his daddy and along with Garrett and Kaitlyn. Last, we did some arcade games and had funny photo booth pictures taken. He got a harmonica as his prize from the tickets earned.

Here are some pictures from last night and also a few from the last days. All are on www.dropshots.com/elizabeth043005

We've had a great time so far at the beach! We drove down around noon on Saturday and stopped to have lunch with Josh's mom. Tyler did great the whole time with staying dry in his underwear. We had a little accident when we didn't get our keys in enough time for the condo, and he peed in his pants. But otherwise, he's been doing great on the potty front! He's even now telling us when he has to go!

Sunday morning, Tyler and Kaitlyn woke up around 7am and played silently. Ahh what a blessing! I've found that each morning (and the last two mornings have been 7:30 wake up times for them) have been great for me because I can sleep in without being interrupted. It's almost like a true vacation! They've been going to sleep later (like 9:30pm) each night and taking long 2 to 2 1/2 hour naps. It rained all day Sunday, so we felt a little couped up, but we managed to watch movies and get through the day.

Today, it's already sunny and beautiful at 8:00 am! We have plans to go on a boat ride with Karen (Safley). I hope that Tyler will love his first boat ride with his pal Lawson!

First, thanks to everyone who had to listen and read everything that's going on with Tyler's preschool. This week was so hard, but our vacation could not come at a better time! So, for now I'm dropping the preschool and Tyler attitude posts to talk of better topics!

We leave tomorrow for the beach for a week! We are thrilled to be getting away!

I just need prayers, thoughts, you name it this morning. I had a really rough night with Tyler, and as of 11:30 this morning already got a call from preschool. I can't handle this phase, personality, whatever it is he's going through. My patience is short. It's like someone gave me another kid in his place. I just don't understand why he's acting this way. It's been bad at school for weeks, but this week tops them all. I just pray his director doesn't give up.

I'll just leave it at that. :)

I am a checklist girl. I love them especially when packing. So, as expected I pulled up my handy dandy checklist today that I save on my laptop at work and created this year's beach checklist. For whatever reason, I save each year's checklist and work off of it. I found it humorous this morning when I went back to 2005's checklist and compared it to checklists most recently. For your entertainment, here is the difference between two checklists pre and post baby.

2005 (pregnant but didn't know it)

‡ 4 shower towels
‡ 1 hand towel
‡ 1 bath cloth
‡ Queen Sheets
‡ 3 beach towels
‡ beach bag
‡ suntan lotions
‡ aloe
‡ headphones/radio
‡ Portable stereo?
‡ Thermos
‡ Book
‡ Make-up
‡ Toothpaste
‡ Toothbrush
‡ Hairdryer
‡ Curlers
‡ Straighter
‡ Face wash
‡ Face medicine
‡ Shampoo
‡ Conditioner
‡ Body wash
‡ Body scrub brush
‡ Fingernail clippers
‡ File
‡ Deodorant
‡ Hair gel
‡ Lotion
‡ Board Games
‡ Cards
‡ Digital Camera
‡ Battery Charger
‡ Work Contact List
‡ Birth Control pills
‡ Advil

2006 (Tyler was 3 months old)

‡ Monitor
‡ Jog Stroller
‡ Regular Stroller
‡ Activity Mat w/toys
‡ Bumbo
‡ Caterpillar Toy
‡ Bouncer chair
‡ Exersaucer
‡ Pack and Play
‡ Swing
‡ Baby Bach Tape
‡ Diaper Bag
‡ Sleep Positioner
‡ Blankets/stuffed animal
‡ Bathtub
‡ Shampoo, Body wash, lotion
‡ Tylenol
‡ Suntan Lotion
‡ Batteries and charger
‡ beach towels
‡ beach bag
‡ suntan lotions
‡ aloe
‡ headphones/radio
‡ Portable stereo
‡ Thermos
‡ Book
‡ WaterTot
‡ Inflatable Pool?
‡ Make-up
‡ Toothpaste
‡ Toothbrush
‡ Hairdryer
‡ Curlers?
‡ Straighter
‡ Face wash
‡ Face medicine
‡ Shampoo
‡ Conditioner
‡ Body wash
‡ Body scrub brush
‡ Fingernail clippers
‡ File
‡ Deodorant
‡ Lotion
‡ Digital Camera and upload cord
‡ Battery Charger
‡ BC pills
‡ Medicine
‡ Laptop
‡ Laundry Detergent
‡ D and C batteries
‡ shower towels
‡ hand towel
‡ bath cloth
‡ King Sheets

:) Luckily the list got shorter through the years.

I received a call from Tyler's preschool director/teacher yesterday. The past weeks at school have not been so great for Tyler. He just seems to throw fits when he is given any sort of directions. If he doesn't want to do it, he won't. This goes for any structured time such as music time, circle time, etc. It also goes for cleaning up. And worse is still the nap time. They don't care if he sleeps or not, but they have to make him be quiet for the other kids' sake. And, he purposely gets louder. He disobeys on purpose we think, and we can't figure out why. Yesterday when asked if his apple needed to fall, he told the director yes. It has no fear for him. The other kids shudder at the question. Tyler could care less.

So, the director who happened to teach his class yesterday called and said that she is at a point where she just doesn't know what to do. She was interested in teaching his class to see what different tactics she could use. She made a point that instead of it getting better, it's getting worse. She needs us to help figure this out at this point because they've exhausted their efforts. We've got to figure something out. He's also the only one not potty trained. He will go everywhere but at school. It's like he thinks he's in control of everything he does there.

The last thing I want to do is punish Tyler after working all day long and not seeing him. This has been a struggle for me. I'm not normally a pushover. When he disobeys, I punish and it rarely affects me. But it's hard for me to do that after not seeing him all day. However, I've got to start doing it more. Last week, I took away tv and his story time before bed in addition to long talks about how he made mommy and daddy sad when he disobeyed at school. The next day he was perfect. Coincedence? I just don't know.

So, last night Josh took every single toy and book away and into the office where it was locked up. Tyler thought it was a game and helped out. He sat in a chair most of the evening while we cooked and cleaned. He didn't get dessert and he had a 5 min bath. He was in bed by 7:30pm. We kept adding to the punishment when we realized things weren't affecting him. The only thing that struck a chord was the no dessert (after watching his daddy eat ice cream in front of him) and sitting in a chair with nothing to do. The toys...it meant nothing to him. All it did was clutter our office.

I'm looking for ideas and suggestions of how to carry this out at home and how to make him take the discipline system they have at school (apple tree) seriously. Do I need to have one at home? Do I need a reward system? Do I need more structure when he's at home rather than just free play at nights and on the weekends?

If you have suggestions, post them here!

We had a great fourth of July celebration this weekend! Friday was Tyler's preschool parade which was short and cute. And I mean short. I drove 20 mins to see them march for all of 3 mins. That was it. I drove right back. Tyler didn't expect to see me so he marched right on over to me instead of staying in the line. :)

See the video here:




Josh had to work this weekend, so Saturday morning we went to our local town's 4th of July parade with my friend Kara and her family. Elisa is almost 3 and Charlotte is almost 1. Tyler loved his flag and watching the kids in the parade. Maybe next year we will be IN the parade! Here are a select few from the morning.

I actually did not stage this. I took the picture and then afterwards realized he looked like he was saluting!



Tyler and Elisa



Mommy and her firecracker!



Just precious





Last night we ventured to go to see fireworks at a lake about 45 minutes away. Kara's father-in-law is in a band called the Imitations that sings all kinds of old songs, and this year they were performing there. Let's just say all of NC's finest showed up! Whoa! I'm so glad that Josh was not there because he would have made us leave. (He told me this later). BUT, we really had a fun time despite the crowd. They behaved. They just looked crazy! Tyler and I enjoyed the food, music, entertainment of friends, and of course the fireworks. This was actually the first time Tyler had seen real fireworks. He enjoyed them! Getting out of there was a nightmare and a half. People are so inconsiderate at things like that! I made it home hoping I knew how to, and Tyler talked my ears off the ENTIRE ride home! We got home at 10:30pm, and he was wide awake! Hello sugar high! Here are a select few from the evening's events.

Tyler and Elisa eating apples



Watching the band



This is fun!



Accesorizing



Mommy and Tyler dancing



Breaking it down



Oh yeah!



The meaning of the 4th




But the BEST part of the evening was this:





What can I say? He's born to be a dancer!