Of Love and Life..

My dad was telling me about him clearing leave and that he will have a slight change of job scope n stuff. Puzzled me for a moment, then i realised... coz he's of age to retire, but his boss still wants his around. Suddenly, i felt like my dad's really aging already. And i feel like a spoilt little girl who hasn't grown up.

Ideally, i should be looking after my parents now.. since my bro's not ard.. i should be the one buying the daily necessities @ home, payin all the bills, maintenance, car and even their well-being. Yet i'm not really doing all those. Although i give a lot of allowance for them monthly. Just feel that they are still lookin after me, rather than the other way round. Then again, i will always be looked after this way no matter what, till the day i get married off. haha
But i feel its a good thing my dad continues working to keep his brain active n all... Stayin @ home with nothing to do is boring too.. i really gotta stop relying on them...

Sigh, how long more can i have the freedom to use the car... =P sobsob

when will i grow up??

I woke up early to baby blue eyes from the afar whoah whoah
and when the sun comes through and lights you like the angel you are whoah whoah
I know I do you wrong when I’m with you I’ve been gone

With every season change, it looks the same (november to june) whoah whoah
And dont these empty streets skip a beat the flowers dont bloom whoah whoah

I can’t believe I missed your birthday again
and I wanna come back but I just don’t know when now

And I’m so lonely your not here with me
That’s why I’m gonna be on the next plane home

The road that never ends around the bend I see your smile whoah whoah
I’d swim across the sea to be with you for a while whoah whoah
cos I’m made a life would be gone
now the way that I feel is I just don’t belong

And I’m so lonely you’re not here with me
thats why I’m gonna be on the next plane home
And you’re you’re the only face I wanna see
thats why I’m gonna be on the next plane home

Stand around try to make every moment
and be somebody yeah anybody
it seems the whole world is taking me over
I need somebody to help me get back to it

and I’ve always been a million miles away
but things are gonna change
I just wanna come home

And you’re you’re the only face I wanna see
thats why I gonna be on the next plane home
yeah I’m taking the next plane home
Now I’m getting the next plane home
Now I’m taking the next plane home

Yup, after the hoo haa n all... i'm actually glad for that conversation, albeit a little harsh.. But it was constructive..

At least now i feel happy and i know what we are thinking. today is Monday Number Five.. haha, hang on baby.. mama's comin back! =P

Just when i was tellin woman how absolutely great everything is, something not so great happened.
It is when i realised being understanding does not equate to sparing a thought for others.
Only last night i found out the difference. I may be understandin, but i guess i dont spare a thought for others at times.

It was a topic we dont like to think or talk about. All along, i thought its coz he doesn't want to. THen it dawned on me, that perhaps its coz he is unable to at the moment. Which made me feel bad. Ugly things were said and feelings hurt. Fo..r the first time.
I didn't know how pressurizing my comments were, really. I guess i pushed it to the limits when i heard those words.
I'm happy with the way it was handled though.

I've been hurt before and i know it hurts... But i just only found out that to hurt someone is even more painful. Much more painful, esp when you know that someone doesn't deserve it.

On a lighter note, Clarisse's mum just told me what a monster the little doll is becoming and i can just imagine.. =) AND, my other JC buddy is getting married in another year or 2's time. Swift.

Sorry...

1 week more and my torture will end quickly...
My weekend was pretty much fulfiflling and went away too quickly! I've been pretty much a drama fanatic as well as a game fanatic. More than enough to keep me occupied.
3 on 3, here i come! Gosh, how i miss it so!!! the last time was @ Sentosa..
Cant wait!!!
Somehow this year i feel like something's missin, probably coz i'm not joinin the stand chart, not that i'm a big fan of long distance running... well actually i detest it. haha, just that pple always want me to run with them. Been doing it for the past 3 years and it feels a lil empty now...
Sigh.. I'm gonna be so busy with the shirt distribution, considerin i dont have much time. I wonder why i go and try so hard to sell when the effort put in is not unanimous. Now i gotta follow up... Which is really tiring..

This cute little boy has all sorts of funny facial expressions! The most i've seen in any baby.. hahahaha, Damn Adorable! =) Makes you just wanna pinch his cheeks, dunch ya? =P

My Goodness... how i miss Clarisse!!!! =)
Look how she's grown! Such a pretty princess!!!!!!
Guys out there, keep your saliva in check.. =P

I dunno what came onto me last night. Just felt sad and down... Moody..
Maybe it didn't start off on a right note. Maybe it was the look. I just thought, perhaps after 4 days of non-existence, eyes can be PEELED from work for just 5-10min to really just talk to me and do nothing else... Maybe that was just too much to ask for. Or maybe the plain sheet feeling was just overwhelming.. i dunno

Somehow, something that i was lookin forward to (very very much), blurred in front of my eyes. All of a sudden, i dreaded it. The ends of my lips cant curve up. I just cant help it...
Wrong start as i say. Slammed again by not including me in the misery and problems simply coz i dont understand.. Doesn't help either...

This makes me think back of my parents, like how my mum must have felt. Everytime she asks my dad bout his work, he just glazes through with ok or not ok. He says a little more, she asks 'what is it?' and she's promptly shut out with a 'tell you, you also dun understand'... i always feel bad for her whenever i see this coz havin been cooped up at home for so many years and not so good in english, a lot times you need more patience talkin to her. You cant just tell her things, you gotta EXPLAIN it, otherwise how can you expect her to understand?
I always get pissed at my dad coz of this... Maybe its just me.... again...

From this, I have also learnt that couples need to be able to talk to each other about work. Since your daily life constitutes like 50% in office.. if you go out, the only time you spend at home is to sleep. Imagine if you cant confide in your partner about your work, thats missin out on 50% of info about what goes on in his/her life. Isn't it impt then to be able to confide in each other? Otherwise, you end up talkin to your fellow colleagues bout it and thats when trouble lurks, if you confide in an opposite sex. Nothing wrong of coz.. but since you should be able to talk about everythin n anythin under the sky with your partner, how can you omit this huge 50% chunk? i dun want to end up in a situation, Whereby there's an invisible wall on certain topics not to be breached upon. That's where communication comes in...

Am i askin for too much again? Do others have the same sentiments? Just a thought..

i hope i didn't make anyone feel bad. Well, i know i dont have such strong impacts or other less emo creatures will probably be able to just shut out these stuff and go on doing their own things... i was really excited.. like leaping with joy, floating high high in a sky and i just got pricked. my bubble got burst and i free fall-ed.. i dont feel like going back anymore.

It's been awhile since i blogged on my boring daily life. After some time, if i keep doing that, i realise my life here is pretty monotonous.. But at least now i have a car, so i have freedom and more independent, rather than havin to wait for others... Feels soooooo much better!
Still doesn't dismiss the fact that there're limited activities here and i really miss my fb trainings =(

At least i'm halfway thru Nov now! lookin forward to my break..
After that, time will pass by quickly!! My dear daddy n mummy will do anything to accommodate their spoiled dotter.. =P so they'll be visitin me again and we'll be going to genting for a day!! yay!!!! =) n i just hope i can be home for xmas n New Year!

Anyways, i've come to realise that people here are just super lazy or to put it nicer, reliant on other people. I'm not used to it... I am very much more independent...
For instance, for a distance of only 5 metres, they will DRIVE.. To photocopy something, ask admin girl to do.. No folder access? Ask IT come.. need to scan? Ask admin girl do.. Book hotel? Ask admin girl do.. need some software? Ask IT come.. Cant connect to printer? ask IT.. Coffee? Ask tea lady make. Basically, they wont BUDGE...

I still prefer to do EVERYTHING on my own.. Even if i dont know how to configure, i'll try myself, that was how it was in HP... so when i was here, i remember askin people how to connect to a printer and everyone's reply was "mmm i don't know. Ask IT?"
i got so sick of it.. everything ask for help, i cant take it sometimes!

Now, waiting for you to wake up...

Yesterday was forgotten......
Somehow, i'm not upset.. =)

Was reading an excerpt.. and Thought about how we try to help our friends (or ourselves) matchmake sometimes.....
When you least expect it, it comes knockin at your door. If you missed the boat, it just means it was not meant to be. Treasure while you can...

Before we embark upon the journey of finding the relationship that is right for us, we may want to take the opportunity to refine our concept of who we are and our ideas of what we want from life. Part of the journey of finding a mate is learning how to become our own mate. When we can learn to meet our needs without relying on someone else to complete us, we don’t have to form relationships from the space of needing our emptiness to be filled. We can also discover our intrinsic value, separate from what someone else might be reflecting back to us.

Getting to know who we are and learning to love ourselves creates a solid foundation of self that we can bring to any relationship. We are fortunate to live in a time when relationships can unfold at a pace that is right for us and take unique forms. Friendship, dating, open relationships, long term relationships, long distance relationships, or committed relationships — we are free to choose the kind of relationships that we want.

If you want to be in relationship, but haven’t found the right one for you, remember that the universe works in perfect order and, therefore, right now your life is unfolding exactly as it is meant to be. Maybe all this time has been part of your preparation period for meeting your intended partner. Even the relationships in our lives that haven’t worked out as we had hoped serve us by teaching us to make better choices in our next relationships.

Finding the relationship we want can come early or later in life. It may even happen again and again in one lifetime. There is no right or wrong for how to find a relationship nor is there a timeline that you have to follow. Follow your heart, listen to your inner voice, continue to become your own soul mate, and stay open to love. The journey of finding the right relationship begins with being in right relationship with yourself.

The best thing about tonight's that we're not fighting
Could it be that we have been this way before?
I know you don't think that I am trying
I know you're wearing thin down to the core

But hold your breath
Because tonight will be the night
That I will fall for you over again
Don't make me change my mind

Or I won't live to see another day
I swear it's true
Because a girl like you's impossible to find
You're impossible to find

This is not what I intended
I always swore to you I'd never fall apart
You always thought that I was stronger
I may have failed, but I have loved you from the start

But hold your breath
Because tonight will be the night
That I will fall for you over again
Don't make me change my mind

Or I won't live to see another day
I swear it's true
Because a girl like you's impossible to find
You're impossible to find

So breathe in so deep
Breathe me in, I'm yours to keep
And hold on to your words 'cause talk is cheap
And remember me tonight when you're asleep

Because tonight will be the night
That I will fall for you over again
Don't make me change my mind

Or I won't live to see another day
I swear it's true
Because a girl like you's impossible to find

Tonight will be the night
That I will fall for you over again
Don't make me change my mind

Or I won't live to see another day
I swear it's true
Because a girl like you's impossible to find
You're impossible to find

Is that so?

Scene 1
Guy: If you're tired, let me know.. just go n zzz... dun try to keep yourself awake
Girl: Dun worry, if i wanna zzz i will just tell you..
Guy: OK

Scene 2
Girl: I'm very tired today, wanna zzz liao..
Guy: Oh Ok......
.
.
. (Intermittent slow replies)
.
.
Girl: Nvm, you go do your things. I buay tahan already.
Guy: Oops, sorry. I didn't know you were THAT tired.

HAh

The talk of the town past 2 days was about Obama.. I'm happy he won coz i support him. McCain had a spate of recent scandals... and what with Palin on board, i totally didn't like her at all... soooo, Hello Obama!!! I hope he can CHANGE America....

Wow, i'm pretty proud of myself.. that i was actually occupied the entire week!!! =)
It passed by so quickly and i'm sooooooo happy coz i just need to get past another 2 more weeks!!
In fact, even as i'm typing this now, i'm in a rush to go for a meeting sooooooooooooon....
Client on site this week, some reports to churn out and not forgetting spending some moments entertainin myself with smilebox and photofunia... i'm HAPPY! =)
Well, except tomorrow i gotta work.. =(

Hmmm, its funny how i can dont eat much here and yet feel like i'm not losing weight or getting fatter?!?! strange....

Ok ok, gotta go for meeting now...

November is finally here.... Have got a tough month ahead of me.. MAJOR drought of holidays.. n i wont be able to go home till like end Nov.. =( sobsobsobsob
Quote a person's fav line "Bite the bullet" and it will be over soon.. and perhaps i will come out tougher..... Gawd, i've never dreaded NOT having holidays so much..

I just realised Canele Dessert actually falls under Les Amis, an award winning dining group. That explains the costly delicate cakes they have and the thick and good quality chocolates.. *slurps*

Sigh, low morale... Can only loOk forward to a package/letter that i was told is being sent to me.... i still want my CD and Jap DOLL.. =( boo hoo hoo

It's getting tougher by the day...