On to Norah's birth Story....it's a good one, just like you see in the movies where you say, "that's not what child birth is like!!"  Well it was for me, this story has the cussing, kicking and all, lol:)

My official due date was June 17th. On May 21 (36 weeks prego) I was dilated to a 3 and 75% effaced.  My next apt May 28th I was dilated to a 5 and 80% effaced, baby dropped and the Dr. said baby Norah was all ready to go within the next 4 days.  On Saturday night May 25th I went into the hospital because I was having some serious contractions.  They checked me and said I was in labor and would prolly have the baby that night...well I didn't, labor stopped and I went home at 5 in the morning. That next Tuesday June 4th I went into Dr. and she said that I was still at a 5 but was more than ready to have the baby.  Looking back it all makes sense but I'll get to that part later.  

That next day the 5th I went to my Pump class and made sure I pushed myself big time.  I was doing pop squats with the bar and weights, I wanted that little lady OUT!!!  I was a sight for sore eyes but my friends were their and were cheering me on, seriously I'll never forget that day at the gym!  LOVE YOU gym friends!!!  That night  I left the kids with Riley and went to the mall.  I was contracting enough to know that I was getting somewhere but I didn't want it to stop so to the mall I went with a cup of pebble ice for company.  After about an hour I was having contractions ever 3 min and they were lasting for about 60 sec.  I went home and we put the kids to bed and I walked around the neighborhood. At this point I was have contractions ever 1-2 min for about 60 seconds.  I popped into the tub and they didn't slow down so I knew it was the real deal. We called our Raegen and went to the hospital at about 9pm.  They checked me in and checked me and I was still at a 5!!!!!  I can't tell you how FRUSTRATED I was.  With the contractions I was having we were shocked that I hadn't progressed.  The nurse (same one I had a few day's earlier, I LOVED her) said she could get me to a 6 and at that point they would keep me, so she did.  For those who want to progress their labor here is an AMAZING tip.  Just get put a hot pad on your boobs, you will contract lots and dilate lots:)  Worked for me both times.  Anyhoo, once I was at a 7 my Dr. came in and broke my water.  From my past deliveries I thought I knew what would happen next, I thought that within 45 min I would push 2 times and it would all be over.....not so much. I was using Hypnobabies and Riley was my coach, I can honestly say there is NO WAY I could have done it without my Riley, he really was my doula.  

Getting to a from a 5 to a 10 took me ten  hours but the pain was manageable, I could handle it.  Once I hit a ten I lost it, yep that's right, I totally and completely lost it!  

Angie and I had taken a tour of Davis Hospital and our guide was a man named Rick,  Rick is the anathesiologist at Davis Hospital.  Kinda funny because I was planing to going all natural.  I told him that and he was really cool about it.  He said and I quote, "You know going natural is grate as long as your not one of those screamers.  The screamers make everyone a little nervous."  By the time I left we were good friends and I joked that he would prolly end up giving me drugs:) 

So back to the story.  I was at a ten and it was time to push.  I could tell that something was wrong, it hurt so bad and there was NONE of that feeling like you have to push, none!  With Hypnobabies they teach you to ahhh the baby out, no blue face pushing.  That is what I was trying to do.......ya it wasn't working.  Poor Riley, really I mean my poor poor Riley was staying calm and trying to keep me calm, ya right:)  I was holding on to him so hard I thought I might pop his head clean off.  He just kept telling me how amazing I was and that I could do it and that he loved me, don't know what I would have done without him! 

At his point the Dr. and nurse were telling me to push, I just kept telling them that I couldn't push and I don't think I stopped saying the S word (my personal favorite) from the time I hit a ten until Norah arrived.  The nurse was trying to hold my leg and tell me to push and I kicked her,  I know right, I was out of control, lol!!! This is when I called out for Rick, I told the Dr.  I wasn't pushing and I wanted RICK NOW!  I knew it was too late but I think I just wanted to hold off a little longer, I was scared.  Rick finely came in the room, I stopped yelling looked over at Rick and said, "Hay Rick...It's me!" The whole room burst out in laughter and Rick smiled back at me with kinda a "I'm sorry" smile and said, "It's to late Lindsey."  I said, "I know" and he left.  

My Dr. knew I really wanted a little red head so she said, "Lindsey, she has red hair, she is right here, just push!" As if that was going to persuade me to push, lol:)  A nurse finely said the magic words, she said "Lindsey, if you push I promise if will feel better!" That got my attention and I pushed, I pushed for 45 min.  I could feel my Dr. (sorry this is kinda graphic) ripping me open to get her out...oh the pain:(  After a lot of pushing my little Norah arrived.  Once she was out my Dr. said "She was posterior Lindsey, that's why it was so hard. You did it!"  My favorite nurse said, "I can't believe you did it!"  Neither could I. Posterior babies are rarely delivered vaginally (and practically never without drugs) most of them end up being sea-sections because the largest part of the head is delivered not the smallest part.  Anyways all the mattered to me was I finely got to meet my little lady:)!!!    They handed me Norah and I just cried...a lot.  As I help her they stitched me up, and pounded on my tummy, that was so not fun!  In fact I told them they could push on my belly as soon as I had some drugs in me and that they could not touch me until then:)

All the Nurses and Dr. finely left and it was Riley, Norah and myself.  This moment my be the most tender moment of all my life.  I started to cry and Riley asked me what was wrong, I said "I don't think I have ever really appreciated the Saviors Atonement because I have never really felt pain like this.  What I Just did was so hard and it still is nothing in comparison to what the Savior suffered for us."  In that small delivery room with the sun pouring through the window and my sweet new baby girl laying in my arms me and my Riley had a moment so tender and sweet I will never forget it.  We sat and shed a few tears together and appreciated out Savior in a whole new way.  What a tender mercy from a loving Father in Heaven, one that I didn't expect at all.


So the question I ask myself is if I was to have another baby (we are not, we are done) would I go natural again?  Truthfully no I din't think I would BUT I wouldn't take back this experience for the world!!!  I think I was jipped a little.  Almost EVERYONE that I know who has chosen natural childbirth loves it and would do it again.  I wish my little miss would have come out the right way because I wouldn't have been in labor for so long and it wouldn't have been so hard. Posterior babies get stuck and have a really hard descending, that's why I was in full labor (contractions ever 2 min for 6 hours) and not progressing.  That's why I went to the hospital the first time and was sent home.  I think delivering Norah could have been much, much better.  BUT I look back at my experience and I'm so proud of myself, I feel empowered and strong and I love that I was able to do something so hard:)

Don't get me wrong, drugs are WONDERFUL and I absolutely LOVED my other deliveries!  My biggest fear was that I wouldn't love Norah's delivery like I did my other 3 and honestly I didn't love it the same way as my others, I loved it in an entirely different way.

In the end all that matters is that we get our babies here safe and sound, with or without drugs it doesn't matter.  Each mother makes up her mind and should be supported in her choice even if we can't understand WHY in the world they would ever choose a Natural or not natural birth.  Us moms need each other, we do not need judgment and contempt!  The thing that shocks me the most is that us moms know how hard being a mother is so we should be each others biggest advocates but instead we are each others biggest critics.  Just know that I am not judging you, I know that every choice you make is what you think is best and it's not easy making those choices! So.......GOOD LUCK:)

At a 7

At a 9

My Little Norah so swollen from coming out the wrong way.  Just glad she didn't get a  broken nose and that my tail bone didn't break!

Last week I was with my Riley helping him on a project in his office and after about 2 hours we both just ended up sitting they're looking at our phones. Pandorah was on (of course) and the song "Can't Help Falling In Love" came on.  About half way through Riley got up, pulled me into his arms and we danced for the rest of the song.  That moment  goes into the top ten best moments of my life, it was simple yet perfect.  While dancing I thought, "I never want to forget this perfect moment, ever!" I hope I never do.

Tonight (after a REALLY hard day) I was sitting on the couch with our my whole little family.  The boys were trying to figure out how they could both sit on Riley's lap at the same time.  After a few minutes of snuggles they started to talk to baby Norah.  I wish I had it on video, it was priceless. They would cup their hands on my belly and say silly and sweet things to her.  Dane said something that none of us could understand but we were all laughing uncontrollably, he's just funny!:) Jack introduced himself and baby Norah started kicking like crazy.  London told Norah that they would watch Horseland and Strawberry Shortcake together, obviously London so needs a sister to hang out with.   It was just a sweet little moment that I wanted to put in my minds vault and never forget.  

I was sitting next to Dane on the couch as he looked at a book.  I put my arm around him and he leaned into me and appreciated ever little second we shared, even when I couldn't stop kissing his yummy cheeks; this always makes him mad.  Eventually he put his arm around me and HE pulled ME close for a better love.  I NEVER get this from my little man, he's so independent and much more interested in his daddy so it meant the world to me!  

One thing is for sure, life here are the Smith home is definitely NOT always like this.   We fight, kick, hit, yell, and cry.  We sit in timeout, yell some more and then make up. Our days are riddled with frustration and every once a while a good old swear word, it's who we are.  BUT these perfect moments are more than worth all the frustration, they make up for it ten fold and give you joy that is truly priceless.  

1:  I have a man in my life that fills my soul with love, he knows my heart and who I am.  He know's what makes me tick and thinks it's CUTE even when it really isn't.  He loves me without question and calls me his britches, I seriously love that he calls me that!!  I am still shocked every day with how much I REALLY do love him and even more shocking is how much he really does love me, crazy Lindsey and all!

2:  I have been given 3 little people that call me mom, the most sacred name in all the world!!  I'm a mommy, this means more to me than anything than this world could ever offer. I don't deserve this sacred name most of the time but somehow my little mutts think I'm something special.  I holler, I get frustrated and I can be scary as hell but they LOVE their mommy......more than I deserve to be loved.  These little people make me laugh all day long!!  This mornings conversation I overheard. 

Dane: "Nondon (London), your puppy is bitting my Jackles puppy!"

London: Holy COW!!!   Is he still?"

Dane: "YES!!!! I think he needs to go to time out!"

London: "Don't worry Dane, I'm coming"

While working on playdou projects

Dane: "Jackles, it's beautiful!"

Jack: "Yours looks really good to Dane, good job!"

Dane: "Thanks Jack.........I love you"

Jack: " I Love you too Dane"

At this very moment Dane is telling London how handsome he is and of course she is agreeing, LOL:) I was once asked by a guy I was dating what my greatest goal was.  I said, "To be a mother, an amazing mother."  In return he said, "That's great but what's your most important goal?" I simply repeated myself and he was genuinely disappointed in me.  I remember feeling like their must be something wrong with me, like he was right and I needed some GREATER goal........ I'm happy to say he was so incredibly wrong!  I have experienced many a great things in my life but nothing as GREAT as listening to my sweet little monkeys sing songs, play games and speak with unbelievable wisdom.  Yes, being called mommy fills me with such gratitude that all other trials seem frivolous.

3:  I know that I am one of Gods children, a beloved child!!!  Knowing that I have GOD on my side cheering me on, reminding me of who I am and what I'm capable of and most importantly LOVING me through all my failures and forgiving without question is the greatest gift I have been given in this earth life.  Because I know this ONE thing I can overcome ALL things!   

I feel so much BETTER!!!!  I just had to REMEMBER!