11:48 PM
to think back of it, those were the sweet n happy times.. sang many songs, duets, train the mo qi between fiona n me.. i rem liu ruo ying's hen ai hen ai ni, we used to sang it together.. we did sing it juz nw, but mo qi abit gone la, since so long nber sing le. lol. its my fault lah, i forgot which part im supposed to sing. haha
frens r impt i guess. i feel gd when im singing k with them.. makes me feel the warmth of friendships, afterall, we noe each other since the age of 13... though ther were times wher we have conflicts, quarrels, lost contact.. but ther are also many sweet n precious memories.. well, at least nw we try to make up for those lost times in our ktv session, although i sound awful, but they still invite me to join them. haha. we seldom meet up, but at least we do make an effort to close up our gap at times?
alex sing realli nice.. his fake voice oso power.. lol. jay chou's huo yuan jia, the fake voice he oso beri nice.. lol. n he juz nw sing one night in beijing. lol. i was reminded of ju straightaway. n i called her to let her listen to the fake voice alex sang.
n ju tot i was with mel. LOL.
hw i wish i oso have such good voice! i oways sing out of tune, or cannot go until low, cannot go beri high.. n dear oways say i sing song monotone de.. :( i realli sound beri awful..
realli regretted nt going jj's concert.. 1st, thers wc n dear wont wan to go, plus he was working morning shift on tat day.. 2nd, thers no one to pei me go!!!!!
ah nm, its over. lol.
btw, anyone whether anywher gt flea market?
9:54 PM
celebrated kevin's bd today, happy birthday kev! went swensen for lunch, den ktv! speaking of ktv, everyone feel so energetic! but din sing much la, coz alot of ppl mah... hmm.. ktv craving come liao, c when free must go sing!
was so disappointed that czech rep got kicked out during the grp stage.. they are so much better than ghana, i mean, ghana is ok la, they r juz like the senegal 4yrs ago... but, -.-
as dear predicted, 1 fav will get kicked out n 1 underdog will qualify. zz.
was furious with holland las night. they were obviously the better team, but why they lost? n even after portugal are dw to 10men, they still cant score! in the end, both teams got 2 red cards each. -.-
i think this wc got ALOT of red cards, ALOT of poor referees. the best wan is probably poll graham who sent a player off after a 3rd yellow card. lol. he din realised he has booked tat player b4, when he showed the 2nd yellow card, the player prepared to walk off the pitch, but referee didnt show him the red, so he cont playing.
lol. tats probably the worse mistake tat a referee ever made. anyway i tot they oways write dw the ppl they booked? ah watever. lol
sg referee is the best! lol.
4:12 AM
i know abt something long ago, but its only i dunwan to accept...
i felt sad, unloved, forgotten, shocked (maybe not too much of it), deeply shaken..
i realised it long ago, but i just refused to accept it.. thinking of reasons n excuses to make up for it, believing that im not being forgotten, not believing in wat my heart and mind tells me.. but it seems like im wrong, and i have no choice but to accept, and believe.
perhaps its just my own fault..
perhaps im nt gd enuff..
perhaps we r not as close as we believed..
perhaps our characters aint beri much alike afterall..
perhaps i think too much..
perhaps im too sensitive..
perhaps.......
there are so many perhaps in my mind.. there are also so many negative emotions n thinking in me.. what shld i believe in? or rather, what else can i believe in?
i just feel so pathetic n neglected.. or maybe its due to the wc? no, i dun think so.. its something else...
12:36 PM
was wondering wat shld i do n wher shld i go after jerron's bd.. dear's working night shift todae, so thers no one to pei me.. go back hm to watch wc? but it seems so boring to watch alone at hm.. its a sat afterall.
who else can i call upon? i realli cant think of anyone.. i would hate to think tat im actually friendless. hi-bye friends alot, but actual friends? i guess less than a handful. lol. they always say it doesnt matter if u have only minimal, but all good friends. isit realli true? maybe.. but who are my so call good friends?
den tml still haf to go ahma hse to celebrate father day.. wont say much here, juz in case the wrong pair of eyes get to see this.
hmm, maybe i shld haf a more privatise blog whereby i can realli type anything i want, without any restrictions.
zz..
1:25 AM
several things happen lately, or rather, during the past weeks, made me think abt alot of things, again. it seems tat to many ppl, im juz a pampered, ignorant n unreasonable person.
it made me reopen my mind to certain things, n surely, certain people.
i realised many ppl wear masks. ok la, i noe many ppl do wear masks, but somehow i think ppl ard me wear many different masks towards different ppl.
i wonder y do they need so many masks? is it some sort of self protection? or they juz like it? wont they forgot which mask they r supposed to wear when facing diff ppl?
i guess nt everyone thinks so simple like me. haha. i realli hate to complicate things, or feelings. many things i cannot say to ppl, besides, i dun think i trust anyone 100%, n probably no one understand me at all. n i cant type here. so much so for a personal blog, ther r so many restrictions laid upon me... mayb i shld write a diary. LOL
ah, i noe several of u mite think im nt getting my priorities right: rather watch world cup den go to sch.
well, 1st off, i like to watch soccer, esp wc when it oni happens once in 4yrs. n for sch, lecturers oni read fr the notes, besides, i oways read my own book when im in class. so, i dun think it make any difference whether im in class or not.
i guess several of them r unhappy with me ba. lol.
toked to zhenyi las nite, as usual, we enjoy bitching ard. toking to her oways cheer me up for some reasons, probably bcoz she can understand hw i feel n stuff. but its quite hard to tell her everythin tat happened in afew mths in just 1hr or so, juz like its hard for her to tell me everything tat happened to her for the past few mths within such a short time.
anyway, i put up the photos tat i took at genting ok?
this big dummy truck is inside the themepark. i waited 5mins juz to take photo with this truck ok. lol. was quite pissed actually. haha
nice? its the greenhouse or watever
pai pose again
c so hazey behind? sibei cold ok.. c i stuff my hands into the jacket's pocket? heng i clever bring the super gao jacket tat haze gave for my bd, summore infront gt pockets!
the new dinosaur world or watever in the themepark. waited beri long for the boat trip, geiko we gave up waiting n end up walking thru it. no much diff actually. dinos all quite fake
this is the start/end of the bridge tat is hanging on air. the other side is the one below.
dun c lytat hor, its quite high leh. n its shaky. stupid dear keep jump on the wooden bridge. -.-
dear took this foto 1st..
after afew mins, its my turn. c it turned so hazey n cloudy within 3mins. -.- the cold wind was blowing when im taking this foto, n i cant smile coz im shivering. lol
c the cloudiness behind??
see so cloudy!!!!
sitting in our deluxe class coach back to sg..
nice? we took this on the bus on the way de fr genting
nw u noe y i say its super cold when i went genting? its so cloudy lor..
10:10 PM
i've bought many maggie, $8+ worth of maggie leh. haha. storing up for world cup, juz in case im hungry. lol.
i think i wont be going sch for several days a wk coz of world cup. lol.
oh ya, rem tat i won the wat temp staff prize? they haf 3 prizes - bronze, silver n gold. i was rather surprised tat i gt the gold prize. anyway, its a $120 shopping voucher at robinsons/john little/marks n spencer.
-.-
forgive me, but i think robinsons is a shopping center for aunties. LOL. my officer was like "wat? omg. robinsons?" lol. den my manager said, "har, y robinson sia, they shld giv u taka voucher better rite." den i yalor. den she said, "nm i feedback to them, ask them nx time giv taka voucher." LOL
but in any case, i still got a free shopping spree la, n its valid date is 2yrs lor. lol. i can slowly use to shop. haha.
this prize quite motivate me. i mean, i haf a gd manager, she wrote a beri good appraisal for me, which let me won a gold prize. i dun think i perform beri well in my work.. u all noe la, i quite blur wan. den ther r some things i overlook n do wrongly.. den ask ppl hw to get abt doing some of the things... but apparently my manager thinks otherwise lo. i realli wanted to noe wat she wrote for my appraisal sia. haha.
oh, n they oso gave me a sort of a4 hard cover file, inside was sorta a cert stating i won the gold prize in recognition of excellent work performace, exemplifying the kelly services standards of performance while on assignments with our cust. (these r the exact words)
well, dear said it would be a great help for me coz he thinks tat this cert helps me to add several more pts on my resume when im looking for job.
dear was surprised tat i won this prize oso, gold summore. lol. he say i so heng, bo dai bo ji gt prize take, without any warning summore. lol. so i went baibai yest straight away, been lucky mah. bo dai bo ji gt this prize. lol.
i still gt 1 more module results haben take.. pass is can pass la, but duno hw many marks lor. hope its another A.. my the other 3 results aint tat gd leh.. 1 A, C, D. zz. n my C n D both short of 2marks to become B n C lor. but i realli feel beri ai wan for my D... coz i chose the wrong qn for tat module.. if nt i can get better grade.
damn
9:44 PM
i've gt frens who can sing much better den them, n yet they dun haf the courage to sign up, i duno y. lol.
watched the omen yest. dun go watch it unless u gt spare time/cash. its boring. alot of toking, probably bcoz thers a need to explain the "story", n its nt horrifying nor violent. though the deaths r abit unsettling, but its ok lor, juz like final destination.
im sooooooo tired, lack of slp lately. met up with mel on mon at tamp with stacy (her lil cousin) for a shop at tamp. she's a lil guilty abt neglecting me, her 1st wife. (this is wat she say hor. she sms me to meet up saying she's been neglecting her 1st wife, which is me). LOL. i was like.. -.-
haha. after tat i went bak hm for a quick dinner n short rest, den ktv with fiona n alex. lol. as usual la, they sing beri well, den i sound like duno wat. haha.
tml gt dinner at seoul garden, duno wat elite party organised by kelly services n stanchart. i dun intend to go, i even told my officer tat im nt going, which he is beri happy coz if i dun go, he dun haf to go. but he did told me abt thers a prize giving stuff for the winner for some best temp staff or something i think. geiko kelly svs called me this afternoon:
kelly svs: is this jerlyn?
me: yes. who is this?
kelly svs: im who n who fr kelly svs. did u receive the invitation card for the party?
me: yep i did, but im nt going wor.
kelly svs: har? but ur the winner leh
me: har? wat winner?
kelly svs: ur manager is who n who rite?
me: ya
kelly svs: she wrote an appraisal for u mah. den we decided to giv u the prize as the winner
me: har reali ah?
kelly svs: of coz real, if nt i wont call u n ask for ur attendance.
me: oic. i din expect tat. wats the prize? isit gd? so wat did she write?
kelly svs: oh, she wrote tat u deserve this prize n stuff. n the prize is gd la of coz, but we cant tell u nw. if ur nt coming den i haf to reselect another winner oreadi.
me: orh ok lor
kelly svs: so i take it as ur going hor.
me: oki
lol. so tml when i go to work, i gotta let my officer noe tat i haf to go for this dinner. den the poor thing will haf to come along as well. lol. but its nt my fault mah hor. gt prize dun take meh. lol.
hmm, i shldnt be so happy 1st.. wait till tml i c the prize den i happy oso nt late. LOL.
btw, anyone wan go watch jj's concert with me? its on the 24th... dear's working. :(
3:09 PM
was supposed to go ms for steamboat, but din haf enuff time as we booked benchwarmers at cine at 1115. its oreadi 9 when we got out of hse. LOL. so juz go eat ba chor mee lo, my all time fav. lol.
benchwarmers aint tat bad. its hilarious, n it makes u laugh fr the start till the end. thers a moral of the story of coz. dear find it a stupid show, but i think the show is trying to say something.
many negative feedbacks abt da vinci code, so i din watch it, yet. dear was afraid he will fell aslp during the show. lol. so we decided to wait for the dvd/vcd instead. will be watching omen though, seems like a great show without any thriller. -.-
was with mel at the bookfair during tues. sad to say, ther aint many books, so i din manage to replenish my books collection. so we went shopping, as usual again, she gt many stuff n i got none. lol. im beri picky when it comes to clothes, but at the same time, its hard to find clothes tat suit me. so i guess i juz stick to online shopping ya? haha.
life's been stagnant nowadays, coz no mj.. so we oways go out for movies, which is abit boring coz apparently after movies, thers nowher u can go. dear started his shiftwork, n tat leaves me at hm during some wkends.. so, jio me out ok? lol. (but i oso abit lazy la, coz u ask me go too far, but no transportation, beri sian wan.) lol. im too spoilt man. haha.
luckily world cup is starting nx wk.. so its quite ok if i dun go out, i can entertain myself with world cup!!! can c my kaka, rosicky, torres again. oh ya, heard fr dear tat rosicky is joining ars nx season. yay! i can c him more often~ i wonder hw he look like nw... he was sooooooooooo cute when i 1st c him at the previous world cup. lol.
i absolutely love my heated eyelash curler. it curls so well n it lasted for so long. lol. but sometimes realli lazy to make up.. sad to say, if i dun make up, i look like ghost, n reali look like a pri sch kid.. i dun put makeup when i juz go to tamp la, its too much of a hassle. when i go sch, i oni put foundation n blusher lor. but i still love buying cosmetics despite i seldom get to use them. LOL.
i think its great to haf girlfriends. can shop together, gossip together, go to enrichment class together, have sleepovers, club together.. i nber experience all these b4.. ok la, shop n gossip haf la.. but its like oni afew times per yr. as a result, i oni meet up with my so call girlfriends once or twice or trice in a yr. so, can i reali call them my girlfrens?
sad to say, i've nber go out with a grp of gers b4.. yes, never in my 22yrs of life. pathetic isnt it? its either a big grp of guys, with oni the max of 4 or 5 girls (including me) or its juz me with a grp of guys. the most, 3 or 4 gers (including me again) go out together. sad hor. several guys told me this b4: kailin, we dun look upon u as a real girl actually. ur more of a brother to us. shld i be happy or sad? lol. i guess tats probably y guys dun find me appealing n attractive. lol.
i guess its due to my personality n character. im beri boyish, as some of u noe.. boyish in terms of character n mentality, i oso watch soccer, f1 n stuff, which some guys dun even watch it. i dun realli like to doll myself up (i think its too much of a hassle to keep being pretty, since im nt even pretty to begin with) n i gt a strong sense of wat is right n wrong, righteousness, which i think its nt found in many gers. (no offense pls) but im flexible la, im nt old fashion u noe, haha. but strange enuff, i dun think many ppl would like to confide in me, or ask me for advise. i dun feel as if i got girlfrens, best frens, close frens or watever u call it. im juz a normal fren to everyone, nt significant enuff to create impacts or even footprints in their lives.
in the past, i haf many frens to go out wif, n every wkend we sure go out together. even going to sparks oso no need to meet up. juz go to outside taka chanel boutique, n u can c everyone ther. i realli miss those times. everything is real, our frenships, our happiness n fun. i doubt i would go thru this again. everyone who was close to me seems to betray me for some unknown reasons. (or maybe bcoz im nt gd enuff to be their fren..)
everyone is so fake nowadays. i've got betrayed twice in the previous yr.. wat is wrong with these ppl? (or maybe, something is really wrong with me? since so many ppl like to betray me?)
i dun understand myself at all. wat is my real personality n character? frankly, i often wonder y dear will like me, or any of my ex. lol. i guess they r all blind ba. haha. sometimes i even think tat ppl get close to me coz im too gullible n trusting. lol. like wat dear says, many of my frens (he will call them my so call frens) oways take advantage of me. meaning, i dun haf any real frens to begin with. they all get close to me with motives. tats y he often tell me to clear off some frens whom i think they can be my real frens. but he quite zhun at looking at ppl if u get my meaning.
i often ask myself, apart fr ur stupid short temperedness, ur gullibility n ur whole lots of weaknesses n bad points, wat strengths n good points do u actually possess, kailin? n sad to say, i cant ans myself, coz i realli cant think of any strengths n gd pts tat i possess....
