9:39 PM
my monitor has always been problematic. sometimes when its happy, it will on and off properly whenever i press the switch.
when its not happy, it will not on or off no matter how many times i press on the switch.
so, i connect my pc to my tv, which can operate as a monitor, the only bad thing is that i wont be able to watch tv and surf net at the same time. and, the screen was very dark, that blue and black looks almost the same.
lucky, dear finishes work at 530 today, and he brought the monitor from his place to mine, since his living room pc is down, and he can let me have the monitor temporarily.
will be going to the it fair next 2 weeks, just to get a new monitor. hopefully i can get a cheap and good one. if laptops are cheap, maybe i can get a new lappy too, since i think my pc will kichia sooner or later, its almost 4-5 years already...
rip, my monitor...
have u ever felt that even though u have showed care and concern as best as u can to someone, but it seems that it is never enough for them. they expect more, expect the impossible, expect u to be there for them 24/7, as and when they need u - be it early in the morning, afternoon or middle of the night.
or, u were there for them when they were having problems. once they got attached, they delete u from facebook or friendster or whatever, just because u r a girl. the reason being they wanted to stay clear and away of those random girls, so, u as a girl, unfortunately got deleted as well.
i was very furious.
it may seem to be a small issue. however, its not the deletion that makes me mad. to me, it seems that that person do not treat me as a friend at all. moreover, we are all in the same group of friends!
does he think that im one of those random girls that he added to? would i pm him those funny stuff?
that's ridiculous!
just because i am a girl, and he wants to delete the girls after he achieved his target.
i told him not to ever add me again. i mean it, i will NOT add him back if he adds me again.
isnt it sad that no one in this world really appreciates u.
u do ur best for them, they demand ur full attention, but when u go looking for them, they went mia.
its so difficult to satisfy everyone. why am i trying so hard to satisfy them? they never seem to be satisfied no matter what i do.
why am i still so concern about them, when they probably have no need of my attention and concern.
why do i still spend time consoling them, analysing and advising them, when they just simply doesnt listen?
why do i sacrifice my sleep just to talk to them, just to be there for them when they needed someone.
are all these efforts being recognised, being appreciated?
no i dun think so.
this vicious cycle will just go on and on.
and the stupid me will just do the same thing, and gotten back the same treatment.
1:28 AM
its not alot, as from the counting below;
压岁钱 from ahgong - $500
压岁钱 from papa - $100
real angbao - $580
total: $1180
but got to deduct;
$300 ($50 each for my parents, paternal and maternal grandparents)
$30 ($10 each for my sis and bro, and sis's bf)
so my total "earnings" is $850.
photos during the cny has been uploaded into facebook, so im not going to upload in here again, coz my blog is already laggy enough.
i've no idea whether is it my pc going to kichia anytime soon. my ie keep hanging when i log into facebook, or blogs, or sometimes just other websites. maybe it's just the ie problem. but i hate using firefox, coz all the layouts go haywire. -.-
have decided to stay with dear when we got married, coz his sister will be moving out, and she will let us have her room.
i wasnt very keen about it, coz i dunwan to be seen as "chasing" her out of the house, even though she seldom stay at her own house. of coz i will want to stay with my mother, since dear is working shift, and i dun feel very comfortable at his place.
it also wont be nice if i just hide in the room the whole time, like what im doing at my own house.
but taking into account that my father will kisiao once in awhile, and it doesnt really reflect well on dear if he is to stay at my place, so i decided to give in and stay at his place.
at least his parents are nice enough, they will subscribe to channel 55 for me, and buy a new tv to put in his sis's room (though the crt tv in the room is still working fine), plus an additional top box for the scv..
dear also commented that i can go back to my own house for dinner or whatever anytime i want to, though his mom might cook more often if i were to stay with them.
oh well, i just hope we can have our own place soon enough..
we are terribly in need of money.
we have booked the wedding dinner, along with the bridal boutique. we also need to pay for angbaos during tea ceremony and for our sisters, brothers, photographer, videographer blah blah blah. we also need to buy wedding stuff, new bed, bedsheets, some minor renovation for his sis room etc etc etc. i also intend to change to a queen size bed for my own room, in case we can stay over during weekends or whatever.
i also want to sign up for some aerobics classes to make myself look good just in time for the wedding. as well, friends told me to start going for facial to look good, so that the makeup can last longer during the wedding when u dun have any clogged pores, blah blah.
all these need kaching!
lucky us that our parents will be paying for the dinner, but i doubt they will be able to earn any "profits"
we dun even know where to go for honeymoon. usually couples go to unique or further places for their honeymoon. but the places we want to go are too expensive, so i doubt we have the kaching to go. :\
sucks, i just hate to think about it. its giving me a headache.
1:44 PM
寂寞暴走
這裡的景色叫做曾經爱過
曾存在你的擁抱和温柔
撕開票根獨自重游
票價是想念你的痛
你說做朋友並不是朋友
我們比路人還陌生得多
感情的廢墟重建以後
誰會偶爾回來走走
我站在回憶的入口
蒐集我左胸口暴走的寂寞
赤裸裸的失落 一目了然的痛
讓我無法說淚是因為吹風
我沿着命運的箭頭
無奈向前走到下個人的懷中
爱你還没爱夠 你卻要我放手
誰懂在時間的秘密花園中 你從沒走
我說的爱你說的太自由
自由到彷佛我只是說說
未來的風景我没爱過 我只想念你的所有
我的爱你想你都以極速向回憶暴衝
他们能看見的是虚偽的從容
默默
这是一个没有答案的问题
我感觉我变了 OH~谁让我变了
因为这是一个没有答案的问题
就被你解开了 就那么解开了
你走过来，带这和别人不同的对白
你甚至不让我知道 你对我有多好
慢慢地 这份爱悄悄地住下来
深深的 在心里没人看得出来
安静的 但却一直都在数你默默的爱
慢慢地 这份爱已经变成依赖
渐渐地 笑容里却让我充满期待
不用说 我就能够明白OH你默默的爱
未来的每一天 不管发生什么呢
不能挑给我呢
我要永远陪着你守候着你 直到最后WOO~~~~~~~
慢慢地这份爱 悄悄地住下来
深深的在心里 没人看得出来
安静的 但却一直都在数你默默的爱
慢慢地 这份爱已经变成依赖
渐渐地 笑容里却让我充满期待
不用说 我就能够明白OH你默默的爱
孤单摩天轮
旋转木马拼命奔跑
每一步换一阵热闹
云宵飞车疯狂转弯
听一声颤抖的尖叫
我只是摩天轮 静静等着谁来到
当她降临怀中 我的心开始孤单地跳
再一圈 再飞一圈就好
她无助眼神 还没有依靠
我多想 伸出双手给她
一个紧紧拥抱 但我做不到
再一圈 再陪陪她就好
让我可以扬起她 沉重的嘴角
不怕她的眼泪 让我的心生锈
游乐场打烊后 谁会知道
排队的人总那么多
快乐的人却这么少
奇怪是我只想带她
一起去天空中寻宝
我 如果飞得高 也许她会笑一笑
可我 拼了命向上 结果却慢慢地往下掉
再一圈 再飞一圈就好
她无助眼神 还没有依靠
我多想 伸出双手给她
一个紧紧拥抱 但我做不到
再一圈 再陪陪她就好
让我可以扬起她 沉重的嘴角
不怕她的眼泪 让我的心生锈
游乐场打烊后 谁会知道
再一圈 再飞一圈就好
她寂寞手心 在等谁打扰
我宁愿 交换所有给她
一个紧紧拥抱 哪怕就一秒
再一圈 再陪陪她就好
让我可以记得她 头发的味道
就算我走不到 她的天涯海角
这瞬间已足够 天荒地老
恒星 (翻滚蛋炒饭主题曲)
一步一步像恒星转动
逆风也不放手
因为你在我胸口擦亮的梦
一天一天像恒星闪烁
心跳绝不放松
我相信未来会有未来的我
你的微笑像火柴
划过我心脏动脉
眼前突然间出现
梦的形状等着我探勘
我明白一切不会像
双手合十般简单
但我能确定有什么已经燃烧起来
rap：眼神 就像天使的你
我黯淡生命 释放光的气息
也许你早已忘记平凡的相遇
对我来说却像是那唯一的奇迹
从前抱的梦 在角落裏发呆的我
如果可以因为一个笑而苏醒
那麼今天 请尽管相信
有你我会是最亮的恒星
一步一步像恒星转动
逆风也不放手
因为你在我胸口擦亮的梦
一天一天像恒星闪烁
心跳绝不放松
我相信未来会有你骄傲的我存在
最佳聽眾
我多HIGH你都陪我疯
我耍冷你笑到头痛
我倔强难过不讲但你懂
一句话就帮我想通
一拥抱感动不言中
一想起未知的潜力都汹涌
你欢呼分享我奋力一搏的光荣
你拍手提醒我不停做梦
别怕白日梦
你将心比心是最佳听众
你给的建议总超级有用
在紧要关头
要比恋人还更体谅我
你保持秘密是最佳听众
你讲的实话能逼我振作
很少说谢谢
但我爱你就像你爱我～
在半夜找你去打球
大雨里骑车去兜风
我失恋惨的是我的朋友
太臭屁你会打我头
太压抑你载我夜游
才想起你毫不留情等候我
动脉 (霹雳MIT主题曲) (MV not out)
当月光被寂寞遮盖
心情像末日般黑暗
你怀疑城市快崩坏
谁可以信赖
当生命被推向悬崖
回忆瞬间快格倒带
你知道最后的呼喊
谁会立刻回响
我知道我就是答案
不怕你来麻烦
我知道当角色互换
你也一样照办
连接我的动脉感受彼此存在
热血互相灌溉温暖澎湃
流过我的动脉传送喜悦悲哀
同步心跳节拍同一个未来
当我在旅途上落难
恶梦像蜘蛛网纠缠
就快被撕裂的梦想
谁帮我保管
当我又做出了判断
失败像崩塌了的山
天空中只亮着绝望
谁还肯给我光
你就是不变的答案
没嫌过我麻烦
下一次当角色互换
我会加倍奉上
rap:空气里飘散危险的讯息在蔓延
不约而同我们都抢先一步想挡在对方面前
深陷在暗黑世界正义是阳光铸造的宝剑
好与坏同进同退团结是无坚不摧的堡垒
我们还能相信明天交会的眼神就是信念
心脏再累都不怕衰竭还有彼此的动脉随时支援
连接我的动脉感受彼此存在
热血互相灌溉
连接我的动脉感受彼此存在
热血互相灌溉温暖澎湃
流过我的动脉传送喜悦悲哀
同步心跳节拍同一个未来
连接我的动脉感受彼此存在
热血互相灌溉温暖澎湃
流过我的动脉传送喜悦悲哀
同步心跳节拍同一个未来
越来越爱
如果青春只剩一張絕版海報 把你貼在額角
收藏你的背影變成無價之寶 夠我到處炫耀
走路都在飄 吃不飽 睡不好
腦袋都壞掉 心狂跳 太糟糕
有沒有聽到千里外
我對你呼叫
怎麼辦我越來越愛 快給我大聲公告白
愛就愛馬上要精彩 不要彩排
為你哭 為你笑 為你down 為你high
不抵抗 不耍賴 不悔改
管他的青紅或皂白 只要對你崇拜
留你 成為世界最後一個偶像 靈魂 找到食糧
不管 你有沒有空檔分我目光 淪為 快樂羔羊
走路都在飄 吃不飽 睡不好
腦袋都壞掉 心狂跳 太糟糕
有沒有聽到千里外渺少的呼叫
怎麼辦我越來越愛 高舉著最誇張燈牌
第一個衝到第一排 比誰都快
為你哭 為你笑 為你down
為你high 不抵抗 不耍賴 不悔改
管他的青紅或皂白 只要對你崇拜
歐買尬我越來越愛
享受著宿命的安排
眼看你致命的風采 排山倒海
為你哭 為你笑
為你down 為你high 不抵抗 不耍賴 不悔改
越煞車越停不下來 反而越來越愛
歐買尬我越來越愛 用力愛天都塌下來
愛若是你給的天災 我要被害
為你恨 為你愛 為你壞
為你乖 不應該 更應該 才活該
越忍耐越停不下來 只能越來越愛
越來越愛大聲表白oh看我使壞
只能越來越愛
NoNoNoNo wooo NoNoNo wooo GoGoGo
只能越來越愛
