WARNING: For those of you who love a feel good, nothing goes wrong, don't tell me your problems blog, this is not one of those.  (Honestly, I am not sure anyone besides cute Tiffany even reads my blog anymore, I haven't been that good at keeping one as of late.)

My sister in law Cassie Lombardi always talks about how her blog is a journal and this has really stuck with me, for me it is the only journal I do as well, so due to an insistent Spirit that keeps telling me to write down what happened this year I am using this blog to personal journal something.

Right around January of this year a lone strange spot appeared right above one of my teeth, it had hurt quite a bit first and then the spot came, it did not behave like a canker.  So, I brushed my teeth more and used better mouth wash, I even dosed it with the yummy tasting hydrogen peroxide.  Nothing worked and I got to thinking that this was the weirdest canker ever, then I remembered the past two time I had gotten the shingles.  The physical symptoms were the same and so were the stress factors as the two time before that I had gotten them.  I never really went into a Dr and got it treated thinking that it would go away.  Stupid, stupid, stupid.  I believe that shingles is really the cause of what happened next, no I am not a doctor and I have even had people make comments to me that I would operated on my own son if the Internet told me to do it, seriously dumbest comment ever, but after much prayer and guidance by the Holy Ghost and several compassionate and kind Drs later, this seems to be the most likely cause of my trigeminal neuralgia.

What the heck is that?  Well, it is when for some reason the trigeminal nerve in your faceish area behaves badly and sends out wrong signals.  It is also called the suicide disease because of the rate of suicide that occurs because of all of the pain that happens.  As near as we can tell I got the kind were the shingles went into my right trigeminal nerve and caused it to go haywire.

I don't want to focus on the negative, but I think it is important for myself as well as my family to document the path of pain I experienced in case it ever happens again.  I first started to notice a tingle and pain in my mouth that would get worse with too much talking. Most especially one day that I substitute taught an adorable Kindergarten class.  I talked to Ty about it and he suggested I go into a dentist.  I did and by the time I actually got in, my right jaw and face were in so much pain it was difficult to keep my mouth open.  I still had the strange spot on my gum at the time.  When they did the routine exam two things stood out: 1- although there were some cavities there wasn't anything near where my pain had originated 2- when the hygienist said that it was strange how much that gum area hurt and didn't bleed.  Well, I went on with life, gym every day, occasional substituting, lots of basketball, lots of ward conferences, lots of life happening.  The pain never went away.  When I did a four week job it stayed the same and didn't increase until right before I finished, then it got really really bad.   The day we planted flowers, I had had a very tough workout and then came home in the hottest day yet of the year and planted and worked hard for at least three hours.  That day marks a turn for the worse.

So, for space sake I will try and make this brief.  I ended up seeing three doctors, one of which was after I was up all night and taken two Oxycontin's, with absolutely no relief and emailing this friend of ours who got us in first thing in the morning.  He was the one to diagnose.  Then because the pills he gave were too much for me in the side effects department and for the want of a second opinion and because he was not in our network, I went to our normal Dr who diagnosed a migraine and gave me fast acting migraine pills which did absolutely nothing, and then finally to another Dr who confirmed that it was trigeminal and put me on other medication.

Journal of pain, as a side note when you have this much pain you lose track of time and dates.  It started with nights of extreme pain and no sleep, probably because I kept busy in the day and did my best not to notice.  It turned into 18 to 24 hours of pain when I would stay in my pajamas and sit in our library on one side since I couldn't touch the right side of my face or head, no talking because it hurt, I would shake my legs for hours to get myself through it.  Sometimes I would throw up, which strangely enough actually relieved some of the pain temporarily.  I don't remember feeling hunger, I do remember being really tired.  Then the pain became persistent.  It never went away and would stay for days.  I was losing things, like time with my kids, sleep, my life, my mind.  Days were only filled with pain and nights were absolute torture.  My family is not a family of criers.  We just suck it up and move on, but there were nights when I would go in my closet after hours and hours of pain and literally scream and cry.  I broke.

Many, many, many priesthood blessings were given, most in the middle of the night when I just couldn't do it alone any more.  Twice my husband came home from out of town to take care of me in the middle of the night when I couldn't do it anymore.  My kids were raising themselves.  We fasted.  We prayed.  We went to the temple.  One funny now story was when my whole family fasted and then gave me a blessing and I was blessed that it wasn't over yet and there was still a little more time.  I asked Ty if he meant to say that or if he was just hungry.  But, it turned out to be prophetic.

Finally, in way of closing I want to do it with gratitude:

I am grateful for prayer, I really did feel people's prayers for me.  It got me through some tough times.  Thank you.

I am grateful for my sis in law Cameo who lives in our basement and did soooooo much for us.  Thank you.

I am thankful for my Savior who attended me most especially as I cried and begged my Heavenly Father to allow me to die on one of my worst nights ever.  He got me through it.

I am grateful for all of the strong women in my life past and present, high school friends, roommates, surrogate mothers, church leaders, sisters both by marriage and birth, friends old, new, near and far.  I love you all and thought of all of you and your examples many times during my long hours of pain.

I am grateful for the priesthood and the miracles it performs.

I am grateful for my husband Ty who is worthy of the priesthood and loves me beyond what I knew before this happened.

I am grateful for my kids who went through so much with me and are amazing.  I will never forget the day when I was crying and heard Jaxon crying with me.

I am grateful for my mom's hugs and her being there when I needed to cry and talk and give Ty a break.

I am forever grateful to my sister Bonnie who helped me put together a list of triggers and things that help, my mind was fried.  I will never forget you coming over late at night at mom's still working on this.  I love you.

I am grateful for my calling and the wonderful ladies who helped through this especially Anne who had Bells Palsey earlier and had so much empathy for me and my family.

I am grateful for Ty's family doing so much together that it prompted me to get out of bed and go see the floats with them.  I realized that day I was going to hurts no matter what so I might as well be with my kids hurting rather than in bed hurting.

I am grateful for Drs who listen, acupuncture, and massage therapists.

I am grateful for Carol and her family for hosting us.  That week was such a break for me.  Thank you.

I am grateful for parents who call and check on me and love me, at the age of 36, I still need you.

I am grateful for an early morning call from Africa.

I am grateful for Time out for Women.

I am grateful for good friends and great Bishops and Stake Presidencies.

I am grateful I could got to Europe with Ty and cry while I hiked the Avoca Mountains alone as I had such extreme gratitude for being alive.  To all those hikers I passed, I'm fine promise.

I am grateful for attending angels most especially my grandparents.


There is so much more I am grateful for, the list could go on for hours.  I am grateful I am up at 2 am because of gratitude and not pain.  But, I think I can finally say I am grateful for this experience, I have been so blessed.  I am closer to my God, my Savior, my family, and my husband.  I love them all so much more.  I am forever grateful for the Atonement, which I believe is what got me through it all.  I still get what I call twinges and worry constantly that it will come back in full force, but life is more beautiful, people are better than I thought, and the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints is true.  I am glad that my God knows me and loves me and shows it daily.  I can say without a doubt that I am a better person today than I was before, not perfect, but better.  I wrote this in response of "lest I forget" and go back to "fishing" as elder Holland put it in the last conference.  I am so glad to be alive.

In no particular order, this is kinda what has been up with us.  Here is Jaxon and company as they work on getting his eagle project done by going around and getting donations and white shirts and ties.  Our area did a wonderful job responding and now we just need to get them to Grandma and Grandpa in Africa.

 Trick or treating with the Lombardi Clan.  Pretty sure my neighbors wondered if some kids came up twice.  There are quite a few of us and getting them all treats at one door is quite the task.  We played games, had a donut eating contest, and ate lots of yummy lasagna.
 Really, how far is this from happening for real?  We dressed up to go to the fundraiser for our kids' basketball team.  Us Lombardi girls kinda like the bad boys.  We had fun and lots of good food.  I in particularly had fun on the silent bidding and some good stuff.

Beautiful dog, huh? We thought so too. I was in the mood for a dog and Ty is a sucker, so we stopped at the animal adoption extravaganza and got Sadie. She didn't bark or jump on Ty, perfect. (if only she didn't poop) She was three when we got her and her foster mom (18 yr old Kayla) was devastated.
Sadie did great for the first little bit, then the jumping on people, the licking, and finally the barking. The final straw was when I became ill and couldn't take her for her walks, so we took her back to Kayla after 6 month. Honestly, it is a stinkin miracle Ty ever owned a dog, so mark one off the bucket list. (Kids were very ticked and wouldn't talk to me. Not sure that's a bad thing. :))

So, you all know I like to physically work out, well I think Heavenly Father thought our spiritual muscle needed a little work so here are the FANTASTIC work outs we have been through lately:

1-Random dryer fire while not at home, thank you for the passerby who called it in, and to our awesome neighbors who did not let the fire department chop down our front door, but called and got our garage door. (The fire also scared away a stray cat living in our garage, an added bonus) Fire caused by clogged line leading outside most likely caused by #2
2-Flooding in the basement, mopped up by lots of towels that needed drying, did I mention Ty's sister lives downstairs and her little family had to deal with #3
3-Tear out only bathroom downstairs to put in a better flood line, so they used our bathroom and the gym bathroom. Not much fun for anyone, I can assure you.


Well the list could go on and on, but instead of the Lord taking away our load he has helped us be stronger. Our spiritual muscles are starting to look like He-Man and soon we will be the masters of our Universe. :)

Fun things:
1-Ty and I love each other more and understand what the other needs better. Basically that I am in charge and he follows what I say. No, not really, well, kinda.
2-Our kids are growing so much, my baby goes to school all day now and when Jaxon goes to school I will finally have time to do all the painting I want, not sure I will though, but it is nice to have the time to do it.
3-Seven peaks, running, biking, and hiking with the kids. I have really enjoyed this summer. Jaxon has even joined me on the main floor of the gym for killer workouts.
4-Jaxon and I went and did baptisms for the dead at the temple and then ate at the cafeteria together. Not sure a boiled egg, chocolate donut, fries, and lemonade are good for him, but we were in the temple so I'm sure it was ok.
5-My awesome roommate Carol came and saw us, we all love when they come. My other roommate Jessica has lost a ton of weight and looks awesome!!!
6-Ragnar, which was Ragtastic. Ty and I did it together and only fought once when I reminded him who was in charge we were better. (See #1)
7-Idaho for 24th of July, always fun and plenty of food. Nephew Dallin sawed off his finger and had surgically put on, so thanks to him for some added excitement.
8-Kristina had a large adorable baby boy. Good job pushing that cutie out.

No excuses, just not in the mood to Blog lately. So, here are the top ten of the last big while.

1. Basketball, Corbyn on one team helped with both of Ethan's teams. Ethan in two leagues and Jaxon in two leagues. Ty plays church ball and Jaxon plays with the deacons. Jazz tickets. (Me, going crazy)

2. Sprint Triathlon, Maria is doing lots of training augmented with way too much eating. Love the training so far and the group I am with, the personal trainer is great as well. It takes a lot of time and you'd think I would lose a little weight, but my mouth must be in training as well as it seems to be getting a little bit of exercise with extra chewing.

3. Stake Relief Society Secretary. I was put in on January 9th and started ward conferences on January 9th. It was fast and hard right off. The ladies I am working with are awesome and my husband has been so great with all of the meetings and having dinner ready when I get home. He rocks.

4. Birthdays. Malia and Jaxon have both had birthdays, to be blogged about later.

5. Jaxon got ordained a deacon!!! I know, we are getting old. He looked so handsome in his suit. Everyone from Ty's family was there for the ordination except Grandma. It was awesome. Grandma came later and saw him pass the sacrament, I know, we are getting old.

6. Jaxon and Grandma and Grandpa Lombardi and mom and dad went and did baptisms for the dead at the temple for Jaxon's first time. It was way packed so most of us just watched. I cried. It was awesome.

7. Ty's work retreat. Those guys he works with are a bunch of Jokers. They are fun to hang out with and I love their wives.

8. Ethan did the cutest Utah play for school. He danced, played the recorder, and had a speaking part. I just kept looking at him thinking that's why the girls won't leave him alone. Thanks to grandma and grandpa L for coming and bringing Logan.

9. Parent teacher conferences. We left our kids home so their big brown eyes wouldn't influence what the teacher said. It worked. Apparently Corbyn hands in his test by doing a 360 degree turn with a jump at the end and then slam dunks his sheet into the basket and turns and beams at the rest of the class. That's Corbyn for you.

10. Piano, piano, piano. Federation time, which means lots of practicing. Those kids are better than I ever was. It is fun to listen to them. Our piano teacher rocks!!

Other note worthy things.

-Apparently we are demanding parents, one of our children informed us of this, and he is right. We are working on it.
-Dinner with the Youngs and Weavers. Old friends and good food are the best.
-Girls night out at Grandma's. Malia felt like a queen and had so much fun.
-Boys at Grandpa's they ate way too much and couldn't figure out why their belly hurt, Huh?
- Nephew Evan's play. So cute and can't wait to see Evan on the big screen.
-Loads of gym time with the kids playing basketball, Malia dancing and swimming lessons, and mom and dad working out. I love to sweat, gross I know, but I still love it.
-Three more cousins on the way, yeah!!!!!

Happy Birthday to Ethan!!! He turned 10 and is busy running from girls. The one pictured below is his cousin.

Last Friday the boys had their piano recital. They have done very well. Yes, they do sometimes have an attitude when it comes to practicing, but overall they do great. They get up at 6:30 and take turns before they go to school. Their teacher is a good friend of the family and we are so happy to keep in contact with their family after we have both moved. Good job guys and thanks to all who came!