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But seek ye first the kingdom of God,and His righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.
Matthew 6:33


especially for my ♥loves :)

my mother will b going off to melb tmr and will only b back on tues. my maid will go back to her hometown for e nxt 2 weeks. effectively tt means i'll haf less time to meet up w my friends too. haha. well, not feeling very well now (physically obviously) and i'm unable to meet huijing they all. =( super sorry!! actually thot you guys could haf just gone ahead w/o me leh.. now must postpone..i feel vbad = paisae leh..

i'm gonna miss not staying in hall. confirm plus chop. haha. im gonna miss running in and out of familiar rooms. running up and down e corridor toking cok, laffing loudly and gossiping intently. haha. i'm really gonna miss communal life which has gave me such good memories for e past 4 semesters. from a nobody i became miss sheares 4 semesters later. i couldnt have won both popularity and ms sheares w/o e support and help of many. even tho pageant was sth really unexpected that i've nv even thot of it was a great experience. somewhat i felt a tinge of regret that i did not tk on any cultural role in hall. i truly miss e cultural environment. being a team manager of a sports team exposed me to a new sport that i've nv tried. being a supporter of e many games of ihg made me realise how intense sports can get and how much satisfaction you can get out of winning your matches. despite losing, spirits soared even higher and that's cuz TeamSheares is what everything is abt. when we won vball last yr. when we won bball last yr. when we won vball this yr. when we won badminton this yr. ppl usually rem e gd achievements and not e bad. that's just bcuz we rather kp gd memories than bad ones. but how many times in life do we need something bad to remind us of e good(s) around us. of cuz e time of e yr has arrived when new batch of freshies enter uni with lots of dreams and fantasies of how uni and hall life will be. that's when e ancient us take a backseat. we are deemed as useless just bcuz we're less enthu than the freshies. we are anciently old just bcuz we're becoming phantom like. worse still, when you leave hall you become a fossil. nobody remembers what you've done for hall. nobody remembers what you've sacrificed for hall. nobody remembers who you are. but one thing for sure, friends will remember you. all e memories they spent with you. be it bathing or eating together to supper and blk activities to the many work sessions you had w ur comm members to all e practise sessions you had with your cultural groups to all e intensive trainings you had with your teams. those were the days when a new acad yr starts. everything goes back to ground zero. erase e bad, kp e good and paint an even better future. when you're a snr, things turn diff. nobody cares who are you. freshies are more impt than anything. perhaps. but then again its a viscious cycle that nv ends. so long as you had your fair share of fun during your stay, that's what that matters. and that reminds me i really enjoyed my stay in sheares with all e great company i had which will soon cease to nth but a small space in my memory bank. i cant remember wad made hall fun for e past 4 sems but i clearly remember who were e ones who went thru e fun with me and how much fun it was. hall residents are just pieces of a double-edged sword. gossips fly as fast as e speed of light across e 5 blocks. hypocrisy are outright blatant. some ppl just really even aint worth e slightest glance of yours but you 'll still look up give him/her a smile and say "hi" if you ever come across him/her in campus. wad e hell was i doing. haha. i chose to b straightfwd, frank and even not hypocritical i was deemed as unprofessional. when i decided to b nice and try to b frenly and get things done, i'm deemed as politically right. so e world is unsatisfiable. forget it abt trying to fit into hall or into anyone's expectations in hall. just b urself and hall will fit into your life.

i'll really miss e level 6 short wing life.. it'll always b a memory that i will nv forget. perhaps i may when im down w parkinson's disease or somesort of old aged disease that will clear my whole memory bank.. e last sem was esp good. i really enjoyed my last sem stay in hall. that's when i truly felt tt i was a beeker. my blk cheering me on w everyone saying he/she will cheer me on for pageant whenever i see them arnd. i was sharing things w my blkmates. i was finally loving my blkmates more and more. i wasnt just living side by side w my neighbours. i was living TOGETHER with them. i made frens across e hall too. good ones who came frm different blks. all of them holds different meanings to me. you guys noe who you are.

we always cherish things after we lose them. i've never lost hall. its the other way round. hall lost me. HAHA. so bhb. ppl come and go, thats why its call communal living. its a common area whereby ppl will just leave anytime. i realise i haf barely a handful of REAL frens in chem eng. haha. how sad. aft felix leaves for sep i'll b left w one less gd fren. 4 more semesters to go and now w/o hostel life. i wonder how will i feel when i graduate.

stronger.mightier.happier.

Daniel, Joel, Evan, Esther and JiaHui

my 5 beloved sunday school students! adorable, arent they? =) ahahha! 5 little devils. HAHAHA..

i've a friend.. a friend whom i believe will stand thru all trials. but this is one big obstacle which i feel that we may not overcome together or we may. and that's if you don't tk out that particular knot in ur heart. i noe we are all putting up a front, acting like nothing is wrong. that shldnt b e way.. its just too fake. weird too. perhaps its time to not tk ppl for granted. friendships shldnt b equated to quantity but quality. like you always say, it takes 2 to clap. perhaps its time you shld do some soulsearching too... i noe i shldnt harp onto e past but i really cant get over e issue of ur absence at e potluck and yet can go for dinner with him. its not the dinner or him that really matters. its just the combination of dinner and him and e permission you've obtained frm your mother. it just doesnt flow. i don't want to think of it as you are lying anymore. no point thinking of it that way le. shld just trust you right? and that's wad frenships are all abt right? and that's if you even still regard me or us as your fren. you posted entries of all your outings with your friends (i guessed. ) but you din even mention abt meeting us for dinner. are we so embarrassing to even b mentioned? i noe its ur choice to mention who u want to. perhaps like what another friend said. we just aint as fun as the rest.. is that true? or was meeting us obligatory? you chose to leave early. i chose to blif that its your mother who wanted you home early. but i guess if meeting other ppl can b more fun than meeting us, then i'm sorry that we aint as fun as them that we can mk u laff till you cry or make you meet us till e wee hrs of e day despite working late and feeling all tired. its us, not you. our mistakes were just that we kept criticizing a guy that you like so much, we said things abt him that you din like to hear. its not just me feeling that you're taking us for granted le.. i wun say whoelse feels e same way too. i just want you to noe no matter wad we'll still stand by you but pls dun forget who were there all along for you. perhaps all of us cant equate to one him. or you tink we're just being bitches to criticize him. we really dun want you to fall into something deeper and harder. its just sad tt you'd rather sacrifice e frenship we haf (had) for something else. of cuz, i respect your decision if you're happier that way. just b honest to e ppl who GENUINELY care for you. i noe aft reading this u may hate me to e core and dun wnana b frens and all. i'm prepared bcuz i'd rather let you noe wad i feel then to kp it within me and cont putting up a front. girl, you noe we wun leave you alone but pls, sometimes you shld really noe who are e ones who really care for you. its not tt your other frens dun care genuinely or that they are lousier than us. no, i've nv said that. im not saying tt we're gd or fantastic but you urself noe who were e ones there for you. frens dun expect anything in return but sometimes tking us for granted really makes us feel sad and disappointed. its disappointmnet which makes us feel worse den feeling angry u noe? if you're nobody to us, i wun even bother typing this. or mayb u're tinking tt im making u look bad and myself look gd by saying such stuffs.. if you're tinking that way, all i can say is e 2yrs were rubbish. u noe if u ever feel sad i'll always drive by ur hse to bring you out and all. you noe that. whatever it is, just b happie.

friendships are volatile. i need dy and lup.. i wanna meet you both. SOON!

i can't blif how kiasu singaporeans or perhaps in more specific terms, nus students can get. all junhao tong and i did were just simply going out of lunch cuz we din wanna join in e mad rush for coursepacks and when we got back to co-op, hohoho! all sold out le and there was a long list of names. i so wanted to buy it tdy so tt i can read it by tonight and b ready for tmr's tut.. hahahaha! but its okay, i'll go earlier tmr to sch to buy it den go to lib and read it. hahaha

i met dy and lup ytd! it was fun fun fun!! :D i really haven met them for vvvvlong le!! dun wry! we'll meet up soon! or perhaps haf a 3some weekly affair okay? :) but u two working leh.. boooo! but nvm. we'll meet SOON!! im not busy! haha.. clarke quay is really nice now. theres a new shoppg centre called central there. its HUGE.. humongous in fact. hahahaha! but alot of shops aint open yet plus all e turnings are awkwardly placed in each level makes it a little hard to find your bearings. but nonetheless its a nice place which has a river view. yes. singapore river view! its nice =) trust me! well, it was really nice walking down e river w lup and dy.. so romantic! hahaha =D but yeah, thanks for being who you guys are okay! i really love you both! =) lup, i blif u'll put me first if i haf any probs but if tts e case i rather b 2nd place cuz i dun want any probs! and u always haf me okayyyyy *hugs* dy, everything will fall into place once you place your faith wholeheartedly in God again. you're always in my prayers too okay =) *muacks*

i forgot to mention the other day i watched 200pounds beauty on e plane but it wasnt as gd as wad it sounds. yeah frm all e comments i've garnered, it was supposed to b a touching movie etc but my tear duct was practically spoilt then cuz not even e smallest drop of tear was even squeezing its way out of my eye. haha.. but music and lyrics was gd! typical romantic comedy chick flick but its really a nice show! hahaaha.. perhaps it has sth to do w music and piano and hence e liking there. i love e scene when drew barrymore puts her stuffs down on e grand and hugh grant will tk them off simultaneously. perhaps its just a musician thingy. we just hate it when ppl place things on top of our instruments and esp on a grandddddd!! arhhhh!

i seem to detest retarded reasonings and excuses these days. lol. lower level of tolerance ba. i abhor liars. period.

xiao gui and zuo wen xuan sang a nice duet. ai de zu xuan lu.. =)

i'm meeting huijing mae seah cenying later for dinner. yay! hahahha...
i went for my first lecture for singapore society tdy. turns out tt denis and junhao takes tt module too! so now i haf 3 friends. tong, denis and junhao! hahaha.. but all tkg diff tutorial slots frm me. oh well.. at least i haf lecture-sit-together friends le! whee :) it was fun learning nation building all over again cuz i totally forgot how we rose up as a nation le. as in details la. duh. hahaha being a geog student in e past, my history knowledge is up to sec2 level. so u can imagine how bad tt is. hahahaha! i'm actually enjoying e lecture! hahaha thot it'd b bored. its like e very first arts mod i'm tkg (lets put german and econs aside). yes, its e first! hahaha super interesting! i'm glad i only took it now and not in yr1. if not i sure switch course. switch over to arts and major in soci. soci is really interesting. i like studying relationships. not e bgr sense. but i like interacting w ppl. being a ppl's person is a nice feeling. haiz. wrong choice to enter engin. seriously man. but i'll not let it end up being a regret. i must study hard. do well and learn things frm chem engin. put wadever lil amt of knowledge i haf into gd use!! :D

mugger lim can do it! =)

im meeting dy and lup ltr! i'm excited! hahaha =) its been ages since i last saw them! dy and lup are 2 angels who are always there for me. rain or shine. just that luppppp! i must complain!! now i'm 2nd place le.. booooo.. everything is him before me! NOT FAIR!! must complain!!! nvm. and dy you haf me okay!! fly fly fly!! my angel must fly!! haha i'll try to fly w u so long as gravity gives me permission to! =P hahahaha!

change is constant. tdy i change, tmr you change, e day after he changes, e day aft aft she changes. nobody noes when they change or how much they change. just dun blame it on others aft u change. i tink its a common excuse to say others change just to mask up ur own changes. its weird and sadly its a basic instinct i guess. innate. sadly. just some random thoughts i suppose. hoho.

i tink it was gd tt i went hongkong. gave me e perfect excuse to not go back to secc as a pageant judge. hahahaha.. din really feel like going back sch wads more hall. hahahaha. but of cuz hall's still gd. e ppl just suck i suppose. not all but just a handful. who cares abt those ppl. hahaha.. not like they control my life. HAH! i feel that i've a barrier w hall ppl le. hmm but of cuz that means those ppl are not ppl i'll consider as friends la. yup. like wad lup said. there are ppl who u'll nv consider them as hall ppl collectively cuz they are too special and they stand on their own as - friends. =)

when you're young you just need 1 friend to tell you "we'll be best friends forever and ever and ever" and you'll be happy and thats why shiang i still love you so very much up to this date and forever and forever! :)

i'm off to meet dy and lup! back ltr.
i'm back frm church camp!! well, enjoyed it =) muahahhaha! my cousins are really a great bunch of ppl! wheeeeeee* yeah love thy brothers. i'll learn that man ;) hahahaha! i'm vhappy. i'll b meeting lup, candy tmr. huijing, mae cy they all on wed. darling on thurs! YAYPEEEEE!! =D

en jie left for aus ytd le. haiz.. family getting smaller le. only e remaining 7young ones here. haha.. everybody's leaving.. cny photo will haf lesser and lesser ppl..boooo.. i'm lookg fwd to special sem. i've no notes, nothing. hahahaha! i tink i better go pack sch bag soon. sounds so primary sch-ish. hahahaha =P

i miss yanyin they all!! i wanna meet them soon!! hurry!! PLaN another gathering!!! =)
i'm back from hk! haha. decided to lock my blog whenever i go hols le. del an entry oso le. anw lets tok abt happy things! so i went to visit my aunt and uncle who stays there. it was a last min decision but nonetheless a fun one! i din shop much since it was always raining but managed to walk arnd abit again. hahaha been 2yrs since i went to hk. even got to meet regina! =) she came out frm shenzhen on sat and it was nice catching up w her. we were qt intelligent. we managed to even tk a ferry across to HK island. HAHAHA. it was good catching up w her and oso her mauritius fren evelyn =) hahaha.. we celebrated father's day and my aunt's bday on sun w a big bday cake! hahaha 4 of us couldnt finish it la.. duh. okay will post photos up soon! :D

will b going for church camp tmr which is held in m'sia. hmm wun b back till sat. so aft tt it'll b special sem. sian to e max. puipuipui. oh well. hang in there! hahaha... haven toked to xiuyi and del for some time le. hmm hopefully they come online tdy or sth if not i wun tok to them till i'm back. hahaha.. i cant wait for e bintan trip!! muahahah!! excited le! =) mae!! this will b e beginning of our many holidays tog le k!! :D

*~ Happy 21st Birthday Hui ~*
a very happy bday to you my dear! i'm so super sorry tt i missed your party =( booooo! but i still wanna wish u a super duper happy bday and that you'll stay happy! enjoy life to e fullest and oso be my dearest dear! =)

arh. i missed both hui and fuq's 21st bday parties!! :(
i met zi for lunch ytd cuz our beloved abby woke up late.. received a sms at 12.27pm so i guessed she woke up arnd then. HAHA. wah piang lo. we were supposed to meet 12.30pm anyways. so in d end zi and i met to eat =) hahaha.. and aft tt we met yy and abby and off we went to paradiz kbox! and we were still saying e kbox super big la and guess wad.... IT HAS CLOSED DOWN LE!!! sian diao. so we took a cab since there are 4 of us.. haha we left for suntec..and yaypee!! it was k until we happy day! hahahaha =) sang alot of cok songs and had alot of fun! i really love my sc girls =) i saw dom at suntec while walking to e mrt to meet bj and felix. wad are e chances to meet someone unexpectedly at suntec man!! hahahaha =) so happy to see dom! haven met him for ages. EH dom! we gotta meet up for dinner soon arh! wait for ms kinky to come back.. haha anw yours truly got lost somewhr in tanjong pagar trying to locate maxwell foodcentre. well, wads new. and ta-dah! i found it! :D hahahaha.. i'm clever! haha! stupid felix was late for 1.5hrs..nearly died waiting.. hahaha.. oh well at least it ended well la.

i'm going away tmr! i cant wait. =) impromptu decision but o hwell, gonna haf fun! but i haven met up w lup, dy, swockaren, hengfai, liangfa and a few others. okay when i'm back! :D
i met hengfai ken big nic and sharon at PS ytd while waiting for our show to start at cathay. i guess this is fate. =) ahaha. i miss hengfai! booo.. hengfai! if u see this rem arh. we must haf our dinner date soon okay!!! =D can't wait! anw been adjusting well home le. haha or perhaps cuz its e hols. mayb when sch starts i may forget i've shifted home and actually go to any bus stop to wait for D or A1 just to go back to hall. hahahaha err. i hope tt doesnt happen cuz it'll b bloody embarrassing. wahahaaa..

sometimes u just haf this super duper accurate 6th sense that helps u to guess so accurately that you wish you're not accurate. haha. but you just need the confirmation and then you let go. because you've found another bad reason to outweigh the good ones. and then you tell yourself, "what for when the other person no longer sees a point in holding onto it?" den you realise you're not e one who walked out. it was the other person. the other person let it go first. the other person don't see your worth anymore. the other person no longer share the same belief as you. the other person lied. lied with the most horrible reason and you felt like you were stabbed a million times. the other person is happier w/o you le. and then you just wake up from the nightmare. the horrible nightmare. and then you walk out of it. like as thou you were never in it. and then you realise you start to love yourself more. so much more that you worry you start being selfish. and then you decide to invest less in all friendships so that you won't feel affected or hurt by another friendship. you realise that even tho you dont expect anything from friends theres still a teeny weeny bit of expectation. the bare minimum. you decide not to trust friends fully. you decide to not give them the benefit of doubt. you start to suspect this and that. and then you realise you still affected and then you realise after 1day you don't feel affected anymore. its just simply cuz friendships don't worth that much to you anymore. i guess i just need a little bit more time of not putting in effort into any friendships. perhaps until end of e hols ba. i'm selfish. hoho. what felix said was right. perhaps e prob lies in me. hahahahaahha... was qt sad w some things that he said. but nvm. got over it le. thanks anyway =)

i was skyping xiuyi and del ytd.. hahaha and thanks to del!! who helped me revenge :D hoho!! anw xy your designing really abit... cok! but then i tink is e bag design tts kinda.. hmmmm.. not e colour.. hahaha :D merry christmas anyway ;) i cant wait for del and xy to come back! but tt of cuz means sch started!! but its okay. they will make e new sch term fun anyway! hahaha =) and mae says we can go bintan le!! WHEEEEEEEEEEE!! im so happy!! hahaha but of cuz i must survive special sem first. hahahaha.. i'll b going off for church retreat nxt nxt week. i cant wait! hahaha missed e last one due to A levels. now this one will b a blast!! i hope. hahahahaha.. aiya just slack oso gd. hee..

shrek3 was nice! went to watch w pris, tingting, yuxun korkor, yimei jiejie, wenqiang korkor and wenxiong at the cathay! hahaha it was a sweet show of cuz with the typical happily-ever-after ending! well.. despite noeing that it'll be happily-ever-after ending i still wanna watch it. cant imagine it with an unhappily-ever-after ending leh. hmmm. weird huh. hahha.. anyway i saw this damn nice denim skirt ytd!!! too fat now. better lose weight le. i'm really tooooooooo fat. i better start on my exercise regime! hahaa...

yimei jiejie taught me how to make dangling earrings ytd! tt's like my new hobby other den painting nails. hahahaha!! OH!!! the 2 nail polish i ordered online came!! yay!! italian love affair :D hahahaa.. but the other one became a little too light..ordered a milky brown i tink.. and it came out light beige. hahaha one offside of online shoppg. lol =P yeah so e earrings are damn fun!! i'll go get tools and den beads and then e necessary stuffs and then yaypeeeee!! its gonna b a great hols :D

i love this song alot:

我问为什么
那女孩传简讯给我
而你为什么
不解释低着头沉默
我该相信你很爱我
不愿意敷衍我
还是明白
你已不想挽回什么

想问为什么
我不再是你的快乐
可是为什么
却苦笑说我都懂了
自尊常常将人拖着
把爱都走曲折
假装了解是怕
真相太赤裸裸
狼狈比失去难受

我怀念的是无话不说
我怀念的是一起作梦
我怀念的是争吵以后
还是想要爱你的冲动

我记得那年生日
也记得那一首歌
记得那片星空
最紧的右手
最暖的胸口
谁记得
谁忘了

想问为什么
我不再是你的快乐
可是为什么
却苦笑说我都懂了
自尊常常将人拖着
把爱都走曲折
假装了解是怕
真相太赤裸裸
狼狈比失去难受

我怀念的是无话不说
我怀念的是一起作梦
我怀念的是争吵以后
还是想要爱你的冲动

我记得那年生日
也记得那一首歌
记得那片星空
最紧的右手
最暖的胸口
谁忘了

我怀念的是无言感动
我怀念的是绝对炽热
我怀念的是你很激动
求我原谅抱得我都痛

我记得你在背后
也记得我颤抖着
记得感觉汹涌
最美的烟火
最长的相拥
谁爱得太自由
谁过头太远了
谁要走我的心
谁忘了那就是承诺

谁自顾自地走
谁忘了看着我
谁让爱变沉重
谁忘了要给你温柔

我怀念的
我还有想要爱你的冲动
我记得那年生日
也记得那一首歌
记得那片星空
最紧的右手
最暖的胸口

我放手
我让座
假洒脱
谁懂我多么不舍得

太爱了
所以我
没有哭
没有说

thanks baidu. haha.
work and travel sounds so fun. i really miss xiuyi and delfine!!

im watching shrek 3 later. i cant wait. =)

♥God's darling!
lyd*
twenty*one
tenth*oct
blue
sunflowers
aqua6th
scgs//njc//nus

to be happy forever :)

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