Time whizzed so fast. It has been few days more than a month since i left my home sweet home. Can i regard it as I ve survived my first month here.. despite there's a lot of cryin involved..

Im sorry im crying again today, and tonight. Im trying very hard to control, but it's really very difficult mar.. Im sorry la, I oso dowan to be hampau jeng like chong kar yan, but i want to be as sweet n pretty as her. I promise i ll try my very very very best to overcome everything ok?

I stil remember one of the silly games that we usually play in class during school time. We always compete to see who's the first one to be able to hv their tears dropping first. Usually either u or lin will win the game, n everytime i ll be the last person, n not even able to hv tears even more than 1 hours was given to me. BUt i guess if we hold the same competition again now, i ll surely win le.. Cuz yunyun is really like hampau jeng now.. Should grab tis opportunity to go for actin audition now..

Dun nag at me anymore la.. (though it's very motivatin..). I ll really 'dik hei sam gon' in order to learn to be strong n tough. I noe im very lucky compared to u (cuz u onli go back after 8 months in aussie), so i muz be grateful n be happy lor.. Yalar, i wil de la..

N to everybody, i promise, i ll keep my tears and learn to stand firmly on my own feet. The scenary is very beautiful here.. See.. The trees r waving 'hello' to u..

Pig jeng was so kind to chat with me last nite, at least she waited for me to cook n eat my dinner as well as to bathe. However, she is oso cruel bcuz she doesnt help me to realise my wish. I wanted to watch 'yu dek tong hang' with her, cuz i really really miss tvb, but she couldnt help me, she's not willing to get a webcam for me.. N she even made me so kan jiong by saying kok juin onn is very jin kak in the episode. Guys, scold her for me.. She made me cry last nite.

I shud be studyin now. After the person who promised to turn up didn =( That's the horrible time difference's goodwill. So i came bloggin here. Actually I wanted to study n determined to study but most of the time i just couldnt concentrate. THe readings werent going into my mind, n i also kept procrastinating. Haizz.. U noe la, online, chit chat, eat eat sum tidbits, cook cook sum food for tea time, taking breather, sleep, clean up my room, lai lai han etc etc. Time passed so fast doing these activites. Then the work has to be delayed ade.

Im not sure, these dancing thoughts keep gesturing n i couldnt focus on what i should. Oh dear. Is it that im not prepared to study mentally? O is it bcuz of homesick? O is it jz that im lazy.. Herher.. i duno y. DO u guys hv such experience..

Pinkiecloud is angry bcuz pinkie daddy n pinkie mummy doesnt allow her to change to day flight due to security reasons. This is bcuz the day flight requires pinkiecloud to go to bus station after midnight.

Arrggh...

Oh, tis is going to be a long post again, as im sharing bout my agendas for the week. Actually other than crying, i did engage n enjoy in sum other stuffs. But certainly homesickness is affecting my mood, bringin ups n downs everyday.

Tis is frankie. She always reminds me of lin (due to her tallness). Anyway, she's the best posser amongst us.

And chiew yi.. She's from catholic, forever 'competitor' of kwang hua..

The ladies...

N everybody =)
Dinner was great tonite. There was a big bunch of us.. (sorry to my flatmates if we caused disturbance). Chiew yi and Korine cooked spaghetti and fried rice for us. Other than good food, we had great fun (i had at least).. Tis is the first time i admitted my problems adaptin in front of my friends, n im so glad that they r so supportive and caring... and helpful (they helped to clean up too). Thx.. N im pretty suprised when yit tze told me that she read my blog! I wasnt aware that someone here was followin my blog (im not sure if she follows o she jz dropped by by mistake).. Anyway, it was a good nite n shud be a nite tat stops the consecutive cryings for pinkiecloud. It's currently 10.45pm n less then 2 hours more to break the record.

Well, as nic said, sinced we ve undergone so much of hardship, we r gonna get thru it. 100% support. Dear homesickness, can u jz stop creepin up, i dun mind if u 'visit' me once in a while, but not too often k? Please. Pinkiecloud wants to study n enjoy uni.

It's the end of study days n im hoovering in my room again. The cleaner has just vacuumed my floor two days ago n i love to hv such lovely clean floors. Then i can sit o even lie on it whenever i feel like doing so without hesitation. But of course i prefer lyin on the green green grass in uni, which r very very pretty.

The autumns leaves are falling n the scenaries r picturesque. Im in lv with trees of yellow n red leaves as they make me feel rejuvenatin, giving me hopes n tellin me that im going home soon. Im wondering if i should make a countdown to the date im going home.

After visitin my facebook wall n blog box, i realised that quite a few people hv been followin my blog. Im so touched n glad. Some of with sharing the same feelin as me now. Essentially, the purpose of me re-opening my blog after dumping it for months is to log hopefully, every single thing, every new thing, everyday's feelings (good n bad) here. As well as keeping everyone updated of my life. I hope pinkie feelings and pinkie spillings in the pinkie closet wil overcome the whole hardship n grow up togeta with me. N i hope u all like it, though im kinda long winded stimes n talk bout negative things stimes.

I noe im making everyone worried bout me. But a big bunch of thank-you for all the support and encouragements.

Wendy, who keeps on sending msg to keep me happy, always encourage me to be strong, n follows my blog esp that she has piles of works
Pizza, who always chat with me during lonely nites, n suggests lots of lots of activities that i can do to steer myself away from thinkin home, n acting as a role model to be a tough person
Lin, who comforts me a lot, n reminds me that i must show a good role model to her as she's leaving home soon too
Ying n yong, who always crack me laugh n smile for the day reading msges they left on my blog
Royce, who always hv good talks with me n help me with cookin..
Korine and Chiew Yi, who 'saved' me and always walk me back to heronbank
Crystal, who always share her homesickness experience with me n ways of dealing with it
Joanna, who always take care of me like a big sister, n taught me how to make simple sandwiches
Nicole, who assured me that this is a phase that EVERYONE encounters, so it's normal but i do hv to try to slowly overcome it

To everyone in the family,who spent their precious times, days n nites to skype with me
N lots of lots of u who follow my blog, n supportin me o praying for me...

Sorry for making my blog so dull these few days. Wil upload photos later when im feeling better.

Thank you n hugSss..

I duno y, every single day i ll definitely hv sthing that goes wrong. Either i ll be rushing like mad to lecture (though i came out early, esp when i turned back as i suspect that i 4got to lock my door, that's so stupid =( ), either i ll 4get my notes, 4get tis 4get that.. Dreaming away in lecture, cut my fingers while i cook etc etc.. Everyday is racing with time.

Told u my worst experience today. I bought a new printer (apparently it shud be a happy one, cuz i waited for weeks for the stock to arrive), but i bought sum groceries as well. I noe i shudn't have done my marketing, but u noe pinkiecloud is always 'convenience first', n thinks that she's good at multi-tasking (which i think she stil is), so she carried all the things: one box of printer, a handbag n two big bags of groceries, all the way bac to her lovely room which is of 15-20 minutes walking distance.

It's ade a struggle to carry loads of things for a little gal (duno grew fatter ade o not), but i kept on, i walked n rest, walked n rest, i told myself to be patient. Im sure u could guess wat happened nx..

In the middle of the way, one of the plastic bag was broken. Omg.. Pinkiecloud had no choice now. She was too stunned to think to do anything. She could onli sit down in front of humanities building alone. She wanted to cry, but there was jz too too too many ppl walking around. Tears rolled down her cheeks very, very quietly. She couldnt think of anything for some time, jz staring at her stuffs, and i guess her looked like an idiot o retarded gal that time.

BOut 15 mins later onli she regained 'consciousness', and then she called her frens for help. A million thanx to korine n chiew yi. Who came all the way to 'save' poor pinkiecloud.

After she reached home she skype with her family (The best thing of pinkiecloud is that she never show her sadness in front of her family). Pinkie daddy told pinkie that there were no more tickets for her to cum back to uk if she goes bac to msia tis dec. The onli option is that pinkiecloud has to leave home bout a week earlier b4 school starts, o either leave at a later date whether she has to miss sum of her classes. Perhaps a day or two.

All the way, pinkiecloud reacted steadily n calm. Controlling her tears very very much. She wouldnt want to leave so early bcuz one more day of staying in msia is one more day of super super happiness n is very very precious to her. Esp that she really longs to celebrate new year n new year eve in msia with all her loved ones. *sobs*

Im not going to gv up a single day. Pinkiecloud told herself in her heart. Not even a single day. But wat about my lessons?? The conflict comes in but pinkiecloud has no choice, again. Pinkie daddy said he ll try to look for more available flights for pinkiecloud. Hopefully he could =(

pinkiecloud is crying again..

i duno y but i jz couldnt control my tears..

i wanted to say that i wan2 go home. but everyone wil knock my head for being so weak. Could anyone teach me how to overcome my emos plz.. I tried to engage in activities, keep myself busy, but stimes i jz couldnt concentrate, n stimes i jz couldnt help myself. I dun feel like going out, eating, joining socials o activities, making friends and stimes even going lecture. I ll jz stay in my room for SKYPE. I think im going crazy, as if life is in despair.

It's of no use crying over spilled milk. Since i ve come here, i muz not make my sufferings wasted.. I muz stand up n go on n on. Im sincerely crossing my fingers that this phase would end soon..

Gambate ya pinkiecloud..

Today's pinkiecloud is emo again. I duno why.. Suddenly i jz miss home very very much.

I keep on askin questions. Y shud i separate with my family when i can actually live with them n c them everyday. Y shud i chat with them thru a screen when i can actually sit beside my mum o hug my sisters. Y shud i suffer here when i can be so happy there. I can sleep in my own room, my own bed, drive my own car, go back to my own home, watch tv programmes that i enjoyed, go shopping o cinema as i like.......

Why shud i??!!

Mmm... im sobbing terribly now. I tried to control my emotion the whole day but after my dinner, i jz burst off.

Time to go home is nearer n nearer. But i jz cant wait to go home.

I hv an intuition that im not going to do well here. I ll disappoint everyone and feel bad of myself. Oh dear, i shud be studyin now but i jz couldnt concentrate. Hopefully writing would alleviate my negative feelins now.

I duno how hanchow n wendy can be so strong n tough. I hope that i can be at least 70% of them. I know that im too weak n 'fragile'.

*sobs*

It's 12.34am on sunday nite (or monday morning) and i've come to update the world of my life. I hope im not overly long-winded but i can suggest u to read one small paragraph a day.

I know you wont.

Haha. School has been slightly mo energetic tis week, with some readings and seminar questions. Just before this, i was grinding thru readings for OB. THere were 3, n ranges between 6-13 pages each. Actually i ve just finished 2, where i paused for a cup of natural herbs (which mum posted to me) and start blogging here. Hehe..

Went for society events on wed n thurs. Underwent training as a clown on wed evening, where i learned to form little animals such as a swan, doggie, little lion, kangaroo from balloons. I was bit slow that day, fearing that the balloon would burst. But then i found out that one of the important strategy is not to be afraid, be daring to fold, bend and twist the balloons so that ur animal wouldnt go out of shape. THen i walked home like a clown, with 6 balloons (not, shud be 6 animals) in hand.. Everyone was like staring at me, wondering where do i cum from..

Msian society was on thurs. Glad to meet a lot of msians. N hv lots of msian food. Apart from that, i also joined the warwick volunteers. I ve signed up for the reading tutor and painting & decorating. Im sure that's gonna bring lots of fun to me. Duno why, i start to like teaching somehow, n always missed times when i taught in school.

Actually i wanted to join lots of lots of things to learn lots of lots of things, but im worried bout time constrain. Stil considering whether to join warwick sports or otherwise...

Well, one good thing of keeping myself busy is that it's keeping me happy n proactive, n also less homesick at the same time. But firedrills werent exhilarating, we had a firedrill on fri morning around 7am. Everyone was dragged out of bed, and shuffling sleepily to lakeside in our freezing pjs and voicing out their grouses. I was so cold that im forced to hid behind amanda, cuz it's freezing cold in the morning. Fortunately the deputy warden said that we performed well, or else there would be a second practice. Omg..

Okay, let's look into nearer events. I had my weekends all by myself this week, no trips, no shopping, no marketin, no gatherings, no parties.. I think it's better to stay at home n get ready for my course. I think i ve not studied for quite sum time n i need sum mental as well as physical preparations. Guess it sounds weird, but pinkiecloud is weird. Rmb i always recopy my notes?? Im stil doing it here. I jz couldnt stand looking my work and notes being messy, but my speed is not fast enuf to catch up with the slide transitions, so i had to scurried illegibly on the blank spaces first, and recopy it nicely again when i reach home. U must be scolding me...

Other than recopying notes, i ve got to 'upgrade' my notice board. Of course it's not a massive project, i just use sum coloured flyers (sum of which i got from exhibitions and fairs), n cut sum hearts n randomly pasted them on my board. I think this is simple but sweet enuf for pinkiecloud's room.

Here it is. Better than nthing. But im still waiting for mo pictures, posters and photos after i come back in dec ya.

As u can see, time is passing fast. I ve been 3 weeks here, and im going back in 7 weeks again. There's nthing much to be sad of o homesick of too rite.. But i really miss msia, my family, my frens, my home, my room, my bed, food, shopping without having to convert exchange rates, karaoke, cinema. N i ve not watched any tvs since i came here! Tis is a major issue for pinkiecloud, as tv is essential to my life. Yong's fault la, for not being able to gv me forensic heroes II's series.

Hi, i guess im settling in well here. Lectures are pretty good, except that i realised that i must really really speed up my writing and improve my note-taking skills to a higher standard.

Hi, im here again.. Today was such a busy day.. But the happiest thing that i would like to address is that my parcel from mum n dad had arrived!!! Yoohooo.. Dad said that im reacting like a small little girl who is excited on opening her chrismas presents. Hehe.. I admit.. Ppl say that ' jia shu di wan jin', meaning that when u r abroad, even a short letter from ur family is priceless. THerefore, u cant blame me for being so uncontrolled n misbehaved while opening my huge parcel. N u noe wat, mum actually sent me lots of plastic containers, n inside each container, there must be sthing such as instant noodles, biscuits, sweets, coffee packet n so on. Im really really happy to receive the lovely parcel. N im sure dad n mum wil think that the 400 ringgit that they paid for the postal is worthwhile as tis is the first time their daughter smiled so happily since she reached warwick.

Food is the centrepiece today. For the past few days (until today n future), im putting a hard toil to learn cooking. It's not easy though, as i have zero-knowledge in it. Luckily many of my flatmates are willing to teach me n help me with some. But u noe what, i continue to hv grill fish for 2 more meals after tis..

I really shud stop tearing up everytime i skype with my family. Esp once my sister asked n told me like: "Jieh jieh, i miss u, Do u miss us?", "Would u prefer msia o uk?", "Do u like uk?" etc etc. These r very sensitive questions that will make me burst off once i listened. Now I think they r getting quite worried. They did ask me if i want to go home, which i don't, really. Cause i know that as long as i can overcome this phase, i ll be very fine. Life is really fun n interesting here, n warwick provides such a good studying environment, however being independent has its price. Like cooking and laundry. Simple day-to-day things that u dun bother of or take for granted at home suddenly become such a big issue here.

This will be a very snappy post bcuz i ve been extremely exhausted n quite famished though nthing much was done today. Im just back frm my laundry, where i waited 40 mins for washing n an extra 50 mins for drying like a stupid gal =( .... LUckily i hv a little intelligence to bring over my notes n read them there. But it was damn tiring n boring. I tried to hv a short nap there but it couldnt work, cuz it's not my bed. Hehe.. Anyway, at least i ve done my laundry, after delaying it day by day. Actually the more tiring part is that i hv to carry all the clothes from blocks to blocks, opening n closing doors to doors......... Terrible. Someone did offer a helping hand but how could i ask ppl to help me to carry my clothes for kilometres.. Luckily i din delay it further, otherwise more clothes wil accumulate n it's going to be even heavier to carry.. I hate doing laundry somehow now, u r paying n u r working.. Hmm =(

Breakfast was special for june tis morning. For the past few days, i ve been having bread for breakfast without fail, apart from having different flavours such as butter, peanut, blueberry and raspberry.. Haiz.. But i had jam tart today.. So nice.. Felt sorry to eat it, but more sorry if i ignore my stomach's sufferings..