It's quite amazing. After all these while, all the difficulties, I have not lost faith. I will run the race, and I will finish it. It shall be my motivation.
One day, I may look back on my life, and I will see something beautiful. God's making something out of me, out of my situation.
My confidence is that He will be with me throughout this journey. God is good, and He is faithful.
Hillsong concert on 15 June 14. I'm a happy girl :)
luvangel2003 believed today at 7:24 PM
Friday, August 30, 2013
"For your accursed ‘eternity’, how many sacrifices have been made in your ‘now’? Oppress and steal! Coerce and steal! Hate the other! Destroy the other!"
"It’s what humans do"
"People should love people more! They stand up for people they care about! They pick up swords for those who shed tears! Cant you hear this world screaming in agony knightwalker?!"
"The screams of the world? I’m sure i can feel them more than you! The magic drying up... and because of that, i..."
"No! when i say the world, i mean the living things."
"This world is heading toward oblivion. It is a world running out of magic, plunging towards it’s death. A person from earthland like you could never understand! The anxiety, fear, despair of having magic disappear! We can’t survive unless we get an eternal source of magic power!"
"But we’re alive aren’t we? right now! We don’t have any magic power, but we’re alive. Look at us! we’ve both used it all up! and yet, we aren’t dead! We have the strength to overcome the weakness and the fear, thats what it means to be alive. Hear this, Erza! inside of you is the same frailty and evil that lies within me! Therefore, i know you hold a heart that can love others. Listen to the voices of the living, with your entire heart!" <3 erza="" span="">
luvangel2003 believed today at 8:14 PM
Sunday, June 09, 2013
The future is scary. Nothing is certain. I wonder what is in store for me in the future. But when I remember that a good God is in control of my life... I feel at ease :) It feels wonderful to be able to just enjoy the people and the things that have been placed in my life. I want to do it for the rest of my life!
I still miss you. Till now. This feeling that never goes away. Your silly grin, playing with your ponytail. I miss you. Next time, I'll shoot the 8th ball before you do. I hope that you're well :) I know that you are
luvangel2003 believed today at 8:09 AM
Thursday, April 11, 2013
So many things holding me back and tying me down right now. Sometimes, it is hard even to smile. But I learnt to be grateful. And it helps a lot :) Even if I only have to one thing to be grateful for, that will be my reason to fight.
luvangel2003 believed today at 1:06 AM
Monday, April 08, 2013
if you were around, you would tell me that everything would work out fine. you would stroke my hair and tell me that you would solve everything. now that you're not around, i would need to stand up on my own. to grow up and not to depend on anyone else. be a strong pillar of support for other people. i am still missing you so much
luvangel2003 believed today at 12:51 PM
Wednesday, April 03, 2013
Cen, be clear about what you want. And after you have decided, pursue it with all your might. Right now you are confused. But I know that you will be able to do the impossible. After all, you are you :) I believe in you. xoxoxo
luvangel2003 believed today at 12:54 AM
Tuesday, February 12, 2013
On replay mode :)
Be still, there is a healer His love is deeper than the sea His mercy, it is unfailing His arms are a fortress for the weak
Let faith arise Let faith arise
I lift my hands to believe again You are my refuge, You are my strength As I pour out my heart, these things I remember You are faithful, God, forever
Be still, there is a river That flows from Calvary's tree A fountain for the thirsty Pure grace that washes over me
So let faith arise Let faith arise Open my eyes Open my eyes
I lift my hands to believe again You are my refuge, You are my strength As I pour out my heart, these things I remember You are faithful, God You are faithful, God, forever
More lyrics: http://www.lyricsmania.com/i_lift_my_hands_lyrics_chris_tomlin.html All about Chris Tomlin: http://www.musictory.com/music/Chris+Tomlin
luvangel2003 believed today at 3:37 AM
I wish that... God, you can tell me what to do. I am so confused. So scared of making the wrong choices. My faith may not be very strong. I am not strong. But give me wisdom to step into the right future. Some decision that won't let my loved ones worry about me.
Hanya ini Tuhan persembahanku Segenap hidupku jiwa dan ragaku S’bab tak kumiliki harta kekayaan Yang cukup berarti Tuk ku persembahkan
Hanya ini Tuhan permohonanku Terimalah Tuhan persembahanku Pakailah hidupku sebagai alatMu Seumur hidupku.
luvangel2003 believed today at 8:04 PM
Sunday, December 23, 2012
I am not an extremely spiritual person and most probably i will never be one. But as I stand here watching the people, I feel a sense of amazement and wonder. How can they think that they can contain a god in just a clay body? These people have needs. But at what costs will they be willing to pay the price? I wonder...all I can do now is to pray, for divine encounters
luvangel2003 believed today at 11:47 AM
Monday, December 17, 2012
There are things that pisses me off: parents who don't even care the life and happiness of their children. And children who don't appreciate their parents' efforts. It is frustrating to see those. Those parents who gave birth to their kids without much thinking. I am respectful towards those rape victims who chose to gave birth to their kids. But what about those who made a bad choice to sleep around, then give birth to their kid and instead of giving them up, chose to let them suffer hell. Ruins their children's lives. Realising that, I feel grateful for my parents. For all the care that they have given me. Thank god for good parents :)
Last year there was a xmas celebration. We were happy. And you played the piano. And we sang karaoke. And we walked down to Orchard. 姐
luvangel2003 believed today at 4:51 PM
Wednesday, December 12, 2012
peppermint candy canes... MISS IT!
On a lighter note, 13 days to Xmas and 11 days to home :) The feeling is sweet. It may not be regular homecoming, but it will feel awesome no matter what. Cos Xmas after all is Xmas.
luvangel2003 believed today at 4:47 PM
Tuesday, December 11, 2012
It made me glad, to know that I don't have to be in control. It's kinda frustrating, but kinda relaxing to a point. Been so busy with work and school stuff. But work, surprisingly, makes me focused. Learnt a lot of things these past 2 weeks :) yeaps...i'm finally doing what you want me to do, only few years later. On the side note, busy busy. Meeting YP for dinner tmr, sch on wed, HN on thurs, pm on fri. I had an awesome weekend last week. Hope this weekend will be as SUPERB as the last :):) much loves!
i miss the special peppermint candy canes...this year i don't have it.
luvangel2003 believed today at 12:36 AM
Wednesday, December 05, 2012
Some people you met, you became friends from the start. It is a choice.
Some friends that you have, you regarded them as family. It is a choice.
But the choice, all boils down to comfortability. It is not a choice.
luvangel2003 believed today at 12:27 PM
productive day at work. totally unproductive day at home yesterday doing reports. its distractive, love it
luvangel2003 believed today at 11:49 AM
Monday, December 03, 2012
Cen don't run. Keep still. And know that He is Lord. Many things are suffocating you. Many things are holding you underwater. One day, cen, you will not cry
luvangel2003 believed today at 12:55 AM
Tuesday, November 27, 2012
I was scared. Scared to surrender cos I fear. That God will really take everything away to prove my love for Him. That He'll take away every other relationships that I have. But I'd forgotten. As much as He is just, He is also good. http://www.biblegateway.com/devotionals/womens-devotional-bible/ Myth: “If I commit my life to God, he’ll make me a missionary to Africa.”
I had the dream again last night. I’m walking down the aisle of my church, but there’s no wedding march playing (sigh), just the off-tune ramblings of the church organist struggling through another verse of “Just As I Am.” A preacher is there waiting for me, and so is my mother, sister and third-grade teacher, Mrs. Boulter. (Remember, this is a dream.) It’s at the end of a revival service. The preacher asks those who want to “commit themselves wholeheartedly to God’s purposes for their lives” to come to the front of the church. In my dream, I tell the preacher I am ready to do whatever God wants me to do. Everyone is so happy. Mrs. Boulter is happy. I’m happy. The organist is happy.
The next scene, however, is something altogether different. It’s nighttime. And I’m stumbling around inside this primitive hut with a mosquito net wrapped around my head and body, blindly swiping at insects with a gigantic King James Bible. I try to scream, but it’s useless. A small town girl from Ohio has turned into an unwitting missionary. In the middle of Africa. And I’m miserable. I wake up the same way every time—drenched in sweat, with the sheets twisted around my head, clutching the phonebook.
I know it’s only a dream. Still, I’ve heard the stories. If you “give it all up to God,” something terrible will happen to you to test your faith and see if you’re really a good Christian. It would be just my luck to have to quit my job and leave my family so God can ship me off to Africa to be a missionary. And I’ve never even been outside Ohio.
I’m a Christian. I want to be totally, unapologetically obedient to God. But if I give God my entire life, I’m afraid he’ll do something extreme to prove a point. He might take away my boyfriend to see which one I love more—”him or Him”? Worse yet, what if something happens to my family because I said God could “have it all”? My mom will get cancer. Or my best friend will be killed in a car wreck. (You know, those things you never say around the donut table in Sunday school, but they’re legitimate fears.)
I love God. And sometimes I’m this close to giving him everything. But in order to prove my love for God, I feel like I have to do something drastic. And I’m not ready for that yet.
—Kate
Let’s be honest—most of us are afraid of God. And we should be. He’s the all-powerful King of the universe. In comparison, we are helplessly powerless. But because we fear him, we hold back from him a few things we feel we can’t live without, afraid that he’ll strip them from us. A relationship. A job. A standard of living. Health. Dreams. It’s scary to know that God wants what’s best for us—because it may come at a price.
Anyone who’s familiar with the story of Abraham and Isaac knows that sometimes God asks us to give him what we’re clutching protectively to our chests. What if God asked you to give up what’s most dear to you? What would you do? How would you react? The danger is camping out in that line of thinking. If you continually live in fear of God and what he will do if you surrender your life to him, you likely won’t surrender. The Bible teaches, “There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love” (1 John 4:18).
God’s will is always tied to who he is. (Read that again.) The rumor that God is a sadist in the sky, waiting for some unsuspecting woman to give her life to him just so he can toy with her, is a twisted myth. That’s not how the Bible describes God. It’s not his nature.
Instead of fearing him, if we believe he is a loving God, we will be convinced all his plans for us will be full of love and for our good. If we trust the Father, we will trust his plans for us … even if they take us through difficult times, down roads we wouldn’t otherwise choose or even to the “Africas” we fear the most. Life with God may not always be “safe,” as we’d define it; but he will always, always be good to us. Our lives are in good hands.
“The real issue in life is not the search for God’s will; it is the search for God. The issue in faith is not knowing what God is doing, rather it is knowing that God knows what he is doing. The issue of faith is seeking God’s presence, not God’s plan for my life, because there is no plan outside of my knowing him.”
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”
luvangel2003 believed today at 9:44 PM
I kept quiet so that I won't hurt you. From now on, I shall fight. No one's going to fight for me anymore. Take up your weapon
luvangel2003 believed today at 12:33 AM
Monday, November 26, 2012
Not losing trust... its amazing that I'm capable of it :) I cry, I smile, I am human after all
luvangel2003 believed today at 12:04 AM
I'm Still Yours
If You washed away my vanity If You took away my words If all my world was swept away Would You be enough for me? Would my beating heart still sing?
If I lost it all Would my hands stay lifted To the God who gives and takes away
If You take it all This life You've given Still my heart will sing to You
When my life is not what I expected The plans I made have failed When there's nothing left to steal me away Will You be enough for me? Will my broken heart still sing?
If I lost it all Would my hands stay lifted To the God who gives And takes away
If You take it all This life You've given Still my heart Will sing to You
Even if You take it all away You’ll never let me go Take it all away But I still know
That I'm Yours I'm still Yours
Oh, I'm Yours I'm still Yours I'm still Yours
luvangel2003 believed today at 12:00 AM
Saturday, November 17, 2012
Faith to believe in the impossible. Faith to believe in the difficult. I need more. I need more courage to speak out. God's all I need. And that's what I've got to keep trusting.
luvangel2003 believed today at 10:35 PM
Wednesday, November 14, 2012
had one of the best holidays ever :) feel fully recharged and refreshed! life's sweet, only if you feel grateful for what you have. It was one of the things I learnt in 2012.
luvangel2003 believed today at 3:14 AM
Wednesday, October 31, 2012
Perfectly voiced out my feelings right now
luvangel2003 believed today at 2:58 AM
God is wonderful :)
luvangel2003 believed today at 2:33 AM
Tuesday, October 30, 2012
Remembering doesnt hurt as much. I guess I'm healing. Meanwhile, I will carry out my punishment well :)
luvangel2003 believed today at 12:42 AM
Friday, October 26, 2012
I'm glad...through everything, i found god :)
luvangel2003 believed today at 12:47 AM
Tuesday, October 23, 2012
It doesn't matter. This year I lost three. All cos of the loss of one. Have to constantly believe that I only need god. Cos only he will be there. He'll hold me and take me through. He'll never let go.
luvangel2003 believed today at 7:32 AM
I want to run so badly. But people said if it's important to you, don't run. Don't be a coward. Pray. It's cliche. But that's the only thing that I can do. The irony...praying is not supposed to be the last resort. I prayed. For months. I guess god's teaching me patience. i hope that he'll be quick though.
luvangel2003 believed today at 1:36 AM
Relax cen. its not the first time that people's leaving. god promised you that he will be there. he will hold you and carry you through :)
luvangel2003 believed today at 1:27 AM
Its weird. Here I am, feeling anxious. I can't wait. Can't wait to be tempted. Cos I'm certain that this year, I am strong enough to overcome. When everything crushes you, let music be that calming force. Slightly therapeutic :)
luvangel2003 believed today at 12:01 AM
Monday, October 22, 2012
I am held :) I feel it
luvangel2003 believed today at 7:44 PM
As a kid growing up, I feel that I was always crying. Until now. Never over my academic matters. It was over relationships, always. When things don't work out, when people leave, I always cry. From now on, I decided to stop being a crybaby and smile. Smile cen :)
luvangel2003 believed today at 1:19 AM
Sometimes you will lose focus. Many things distracts you. But that's God's way of telling you that He is there. Learning new things is good :)
luvangel2003 believed today at 12:14 AM
Sunday, October 21, 2012
Its been 1 month and 8 days since you're gone. I wonder how you are. Is there a fun place? Clouds? On a lighter note, whatsapp-ing with a friend cleared my mind much :) grateful. Not colleagues for long period of time. But the normally-not-so-holy girl brings fresh perspective for me
luvangel2003 believed today at 2:10 AM
Saturday, October 20, 2012
What does she has that I don't? A better behaviour?
luvangel2003 believed today at 1:45 PM
Friday, October 19, 2012
Something that a good friend sent me
It's a good reminder :)
luvangel2003 believed today at 9:51 PM
As a kid growing up, I didn't need much. I didn't request much from my parents. I think I was pretty much withheld until one day, my mum told me that I need to speak out what I want. But I realised I had everything I need. I never prayed for success nor wealth. Cos I know that those don't satisfy.
When I was really young, I wanted to become a doctor, teacher, policewoman. But the longest was to become a doctor. As I grew up, I realised that even though being a doctor means saving people, I would have to endure seeing people suffering, seeing people cry. So I grew out of that desire. Currently, I am still finding something that I enjoy doing. I enjoy making crafts. But maybe not as a source of income. Doing it for the love and joy of doing is more fun.
I grew up pretty much by myself. I didn't want company. Cos even as I left for Singapore to study, I left behind precious friends. I left behind my precious family. I know what it felt being separated from the people I love. I never gave my all in any relationship. Until I came to church. I gave everything I got, invested everything into it. But it was gone. So I left. How do I pretend to care when I don't? What if the same thing happen all over again? Until now, I am still wondering the same thing.
Once, I wanted to be mature so much. Its such an irony. Until now, I still am not capable of it. When I thought I was doing it, people broke down all my defences. Doesn't that means that now, I need to do everything all over again?
This journey of life has been fun at times. But definitely not easy and tiring. It's time to grow up, you Disappointment. If I could, God, can I forget this guilt? No more of this pain...
NO Physical self-inflicted injury! It is a choice. Why couldn't you do it?
Erza, someone I could relate with. Though she is a fictional character, the things that she taught me are numerous. Like her, I have put up an armour around my heart too. Like her, I'd been hurt. But can I be like her? Can I still be strong even after I took down my armour? Am I strong enough to do it?
luvangel2003 believed today at 11:44 AM
Its 7 am and I am awake. It hurts. Things WILL get better, Things will work out. Stomach relax. Its time to move on, time to forget everything. Time to sleep. Time to depend on myself. I am strong. So just smile :) :) :) :) :)
Smile on cen :) u r happier now. True friends doesnt exist. There is only friends who come and go.
luvangel2003 believed today at 7:39 AM
Thursday, October 18, 2012
Reality makes my stomach turn. It's better to escape.
luvangel2003 believed today at 10:50 PM
Maybe god is more than enough for me. After all, my family is there too :)
luvangel2003 believed today at 12:47 AM
Wednesday, October 17, 2012
You're gone. So what do I need to do when I miss you? Blow a balloon? Will that even reach you? I'm broken. But I will be better. I am living well :) don't worry
luvangel2003 believed today at 7:40 AM
Monday, October 15, 2012
Second time I allowed myself to look back in a relationship. And it hurts. What good does it do if I am the only one trying? I swear, the next time I leave...it will be forever. That's the only good thing that I can do for myself
luvangel2003 believed today at 8:38 PM
Sunday, October 14, 2012
When things spin out of control, I have to constantly remind myself that God is sovereign. That He is in control. Or not I will lose my sanity.
Decisions...decisions...between the choices that I will be making, what would be for the best? It is hard to decide on a matter where there is no absolute right or wrong. A decision that will have a great impact, I hope that I will not make the wrong choice again.
On the side note, I would love to spend a day at the beach. LOL random
