Never thought I would ever be, a busy mom chasing after three…

My little brother is turning 11 today! Wow, that makes me feel so old. Jeff is absolutely the greatest youngest brother around. He is such a sweetheart and he sure is great to Abby. She absolutely adores him! In fact just yesterday I was talking to my sister on the webcam during the day and Abby asked where Jeff was. I told her he was at school and then for the rest of the day she said "Jeff at School!" over and over again. I am so lucky that even though I left home when Jeff was only 3 we have stayed so close. This summer he stayed with me for a whole month. We loved having his fun and sensitive personality around. Especially since Abby follows him around like a shadow it makes being a mom extra easy. Thanks for being the best brother and Uncle Ever! I hope that Jeff has the best birthday ever! We love you!

I just bought a new Chair for pictures. And of course my very best subject tried it out for me!

Anyone who knows me knows that this is not something I normally allow. I am very in to keeping Abby as clean as possible. But I had some experiences this morning that have really inspired me. Let me share..... I woke up with Abby this morning and I had an email from my friend Jen who just moved to Tokyo. She was letting me know of a photographer that she found that she thought I would enjoy looking at. I went to the blog site and spent the next hour and half reading the photographers story. She had lost her daughter just last year and blogged about her frequently. She is such a beautiful writer. I read the story of her daughters passing and was deeply moved at the love the mom had for her daughter. I was struck at the similarities between her and I. Things that reminded me that this could have to us. Just small things like living next to her in laws and letting her daughter watch Dora every morning. But I was also so inspired because this women relished every moment with her daughter when she was living. She let her be a kid and she captured every moment on film. So as I was reading the story at 8:00 this morning Abby came and asked me for Brownies. We didn't have any but I thought why they heck not. So Abby and I made some Brownies. In honor of Ava and her sweet mom. And Abby got to lick everything! It was so fun And I am so glad I caught some pictures of it. I am so grateful for sweet reminders of everything that I have. I would encourage you all to read her blog and the story of the little girl. I would recommend reading the first website first. It will give you a better understanding of the situation. Just be prepared to cry.... After reading so so many of this womens blog entries I can only think of how blessed I am to have the knowledge that I do. I know that if she had the knowledge of Eternal families and that she could live with her daughter again, it would bring her so much comfort and even joy.

http://avarosemeyer.memory-of.com/
http://www.sheyerosemeyer.blogspot.com/

Abby got this apron from her Grandma for Christmas. A Friend made it for her to give to Abby. Isn't it soo cute!. Well I took these pictures for her because she is going to start selling them on ebay. If you are interested in one let me know and I can give you her information.

I love how Abby looks right when she wakes up. Her eyes are are puffy, her hair is CRAZY and she is so cranky! But she is sooo adorable! I took these this morning of her on our couch. Who knew that my crazy red couch would make such a cute backdrop for picutres. I know that Abby is wearing Dora PJ's. PJ's are the only clothing That I allow to have Characters on. I know, I am a mean mom! My Young women convinced me to buy these for her at Wal-Mart. They know how much Abby loves Dora and they clearly have her best interest in mind. So thanks to them, we have Dora PJ's.

Long story! But basically I ordered this like 3 months ago and it just barely got here. I am sooooo excited about it. I think it looks amazing above my stairs and it really completes the room. I have issues with church art because it doesn't match the style of my house, and when I found this I knew I had to have it! I love that the first thing Abby says in the morning is "Temple"I think I am going to do vinyl lettering above it. I need a good phrase about families that isn't too cliche. Any suggestions?

I have been having Abby's Hair cut since she had just turned one. I love the bob look on little girls. Well the last 8 months or so I have been taking her to a place called cookie cutters in Salt Lake. They are just for Kids and treat her like a princess when she is there. She gets to sit in a pink car, and watch any movie she wants. It is so much fun to go. Well I took these pictures to show off her new cut. They don't show it to well because as usual I was attracted to her cute face! But in the back it is stacked really high! I love it!

Abby is absolutely impossible to get pictures of. She looked adorable in her Christmas dress, and you can't even get the full effect without her brown tights and sparkely red shoes. Keep that in mind as you look at her cute dress. Next time she wears it I will have to take pictures so you can see!

That is right! Scott and I have been married a whole five years now! It has been the best years of my life. Scott is absolutely and amazing husband, and here is why....

1. He is always thinking of others first
2. He is such a good Daddy to abby
3. He never hesitates to say that he is sorry when he knows he was wrong (or even when he doesn't)
4. He is Humble
5. He is so smart. He can always answer my questions
6. He appreciates the efforts I have made to like sports and get involved in them
7. He never makes me feel stupid when I comment on sports and I have no idea what I am talking about but just can't handle the silence
8. He is soooooo funny. Not all the time, but when he is, its really good!
9. He serves others so well
10. Does his calling as well as he can even though I do not make it easy sometimes.
11. He works so hard for our family
12. He is super Handy! This boy can do anything!
13. He takes his time, which can drive me crazy, but it is a good balance to my craziness
14. He thinks before he talks, and when he does people listen.
15. He doesn't mind that I don't think before I talk, and sometimes I can't stop
16. He pretends to not notice when the house is a mess.
17. He says he thinks I look better without make-up!
18. He is amazingly good looking!
19. He has given me the most amazing little girl, who is the spitting image of him
20. He never places blame
21. He supports me and all my hobbies
22. He honors his priesthood and the covenants we have made in the temple.
23. He doesn't mind shaving late at night so I can be close to him with out being atttacked.
24. He is actually ok with us having a one way tickling relationship... I can, he can't! Ok so maybe he isn't ok with it, but that is still how it is!
25. He is so loving, understanding and patient with me even when I am at my worst.

I love you so much Scott, and I can't wait to see what the comming years bring us!

I know that I have been a very lazy blogger. Things have been really difficult for me lately. I guess I feel like I don't want to be negative So I will just wait until things get better. Well they haven't so I will just blog anyway. I won't go into details as it seems as though the only people that understand are those I don't even know that post on message boards with a similar infertility situation as I do. So I often read those message boards just to convince myself that I haven't gone crazy.

Christmas was..... Interesting. I was on a very very high dosage of clomid which made me a lot less tolerant of some of the things that have become I guess common place for my family. Things that I am not used to. This made it very difficult for us to be there. but I had such a wonderful time with my brothers and sister. They are soooooo good to Abby and she just adores them. They are willing to just play with her. To spend the time that it takes to get to know her each time after not seeing her for a while. It has always been a fear of mine that Abby would not have a relationship with my family. I am so grateful that for the most part I know that will not be a problem.

I love being a mom at Christmas. It was after having Abby that I really understood how much more fun it is to give then to receive. She just loved the whole thing from the smallest 4 dollar item to the most expensive Doll cradle/high chair set. She loves them all the same. Scott of course spoiled me getting me something I did not expect. I gave him very little direction on what I wanted this year so I was totally surprised. He got me beautiful ruby earings. I absolutely love them! It has been a while since I have gotten something so impractical. And to be honest I wasn't expecting much since my big camera purchase. But I was so excited! They make me feel so pretty! He also got me a beautiful Temple dress. I have to say I have the hardest time finding ones that I like, and he found the perfect one! We are going to the temple this week and I can't wait to wear it!

Since comming home from Christmas we have had some exciting events. Scott split his head open during ward ball this last week. He got 13 Stitches on his forehead. And we spent 3 and a half hours at the emergency room. We got there at 10:30pm and left and 2:00 AM. It was awful but I guess a kid who got hit over the head with a baseball bat by a gang member takes priority! Also, Scott and Abby were both sick the first week and now I am . Tons of fun to be sick on top of the already sick I am on the time on my medicine. But I am trying to keep busy, starting to scrapbook again and hopefully get caught up . As well as working on Projects for some friends. I guess in the spirit of the new year I will share my new years resolutions with you. I have only three.

1. Read me scriptures more consistantly
2. Go to the temple more frequently
3. Be better about Personal prayer.

I figure this trial in my life has go to be for something. So I am going to use it as a motivation for me to become closer to my savior. And hopefully I will be able to deal with it all better. In the meantime I am so glad to have a wonderful husband who is so understanding, so Patient and so loving to me through all of this. And a wonderful daughter that comforts me when things are sad. For some reason I believe her more than anyone else when she says "its okay mommy". She is such a sweet little girl. My sister is such a good friend to me even if sometimes I give a little too much information ( I think we are even after the whole nose thing!) She listens, and I think besides scott she is the only one that wants me to have a baby as bad as I do! Thanks for letting me vent. It has been inside for a while and it feels good to let it all out. Now I can take a deep breath as I start all over again......