Wednesday, January 25, 2017

And then there were four...

I only write when I get pregnant or have a baby... this time I am covering both! Its kind of embarrassing how often I say I am going to write regularly and how often I fail miserably. One of my most cherished possessions is the printed book of my blog. I really hope I can try to be better. For real this time. But I know better now. No promises. haha

So we had another baby. Sweet Ellie Kate Joined our family on January 25, 2016. This is the story of her birth. 

Pretty safe to say that every time I have a baby I think it will be our last. Not by choice. But ever since I had Abby I would say that I don't feel like I have a choice. Our babies are miracles. And they come when Heavenly father wants them to come. And I am always afraid to hope for too much. So I try to be so happy with what I have. My expectations have been exceeded.. three times over. 

We had been on vacation for about 3 weeks. I had just gotten home and Scott was still gone at Youth conference. On our vacation I remember joking with a friend that "if I were pregnant.. haha... but I am totally not." The second the words left my mouth I couldn't get them out of my mind. I think I knew right then, but was to afraid to think about it too hard. But when I got home the thoughts got impossible to ignore. So I said... literally out loud "heavenly father, if I  need to take a pregnancy test, give me a really good reason." And then I looked down. Now... Bennett was only 5 and a half months. And I hadn't lost all the baby weight. But It was impossible to ignore... I had a belly. A baby belly. And I knew that I was pregnant. I told a very trusted friend what I was thinking and she reminded me that I would probably need to start progesterone right away if I was pregnant because my progesterone was low during Bennett's pregnancy. She very strongly encouraged me  to take a test right away. 

So I did. It was positive. Immediately. I sent her a picture of the positive test with a message "I am dying.. don't tell a soul" Scott didn't know. He was pretty much unreachable and I wanted to tell him in person anyway. And I was in total shock. I laughed. I cried. My friend helped me work through so many of my feelings. I was so grateful for her. I was thrilled to be having a fourth baby. I wanted a fourth baby. But the timing... wow. These babies would be 13 months apart. I was going to have three babies in three years. This was going to be very very hard. And how would Scott take the news?? We were so stretched (mentally) already. He has never been mad at me before. Really. And deep down I knew it would be fine.. once he got used to the idea. But It was just so crazy to think of where we had been ... and were we were headed... We were due with baby #4 on February 12, 2016. 

It was father's day weekend. And Scott was getting home on Saturday.. I toyed with the idea of telling him on Fathers day. But I knew I couldn't keep it from him in person.. So when he got home and the first moment we got a second alone I told him. No special way. Just blurted it out. He was once again in shock. He always is when I tell him I am pregnant. We laughed... I cried. He reassured me everything was going to be fine and that we would survive this pregnancy. Bennett's pregnancy was so hard. And I was so scared of a repeat, only this time while caring for a baby the whole time. But in the end we knew that together we would get through it. And welcome our sweet baby in to a very loving family. This was a very wanted baby. But for sure not a planned one. I felt so blessed. But still a bit scared. 

Long story short... This pregnancy was hard too. In a whole different way. Being pregnant pretty much for two years straight really can get to you. And it did me. It was a whole new level of hard and I wish I could have enjoyed it more. But I was so tired. And the boys were sooo difficult. But I always appreciated the miracle that this baby was. That they all are. And I was so very grateful! 

We decided not to find out what we were having. I still don't know  how I feel about this choice. I think it made the pregnancy harder. But I love that we did it. We enjoyed the mystery. And I am glad we chose to let Mr. Bennett be the star of the show for as long as possible. So all in all... it was the right choice for us! And I suppose I am glad we did it! 

Now for the story of the birth... 

Like Cooper.. Ellie had a two vessel cord. So that meant lots of testing during the third trimester to make sure baby was still growing strong. My blood pressure started to be a a problem there at the end as well so we were watching both very closely. 

I had an ultrasound at 35.5 weeks and found that our little baby... that didn't move hardly at all, was breech. This was terrible news. I really didn't want a c-section. I had one with Abby and I knew the recovery would be very hard while taking care of the boys. Dr. Haskett determined that because of  a breech baby and high blood pressure we would deliver the baby by c-section at exactly 37 weeks. On January 22nd. I was so bummed. But quite determined to get the baby to flip. So I read about how to do it and got to work. I had one week to make it happen. So I laid upside down with my legs propped up on the side of the bed as often as I could. With a heating pad on the bottom of the stomach and and ice pack at the top of my stomach. I remember the exact moment it happened. It only took about 3 days of these crazy antics and little miss flipped. While I was laying down with Cooper for his nap! Woooohoooo! This meant no c-section! 

This is where I talk about how much I love Dr. Haskett. He has been so good to me! And especially good to be patient as I have attempted three VBAC'S. I am so grateful! They have all been really good experiences. I have loved having vaginal deliveries with my last three! What a blessing!

So no c-section... but my blood pressure was still an issue. So Dr. Haskett decided to induce our sweet baby on Monday, January 25th.  Side note.. this was awesome because then we have babies born on the 22, 23, 24 and 25th.. No biggie. But awesome that it worked out that way! 

We got to the hospital at 6:30 AM. It was dark out side still and very cold. Brent and Joanne were so good to stay with our crazy family while we went. I had put in a request for three different nurses that work there that I am friends with and was soo happy that two of them were able to be assigned to me that morning as I delivered our baby! Both Becky and Annette have been clients of mine multiple times! Becky was with me through Coopers delivery too so it was very special! 

They got us the most beautiful room that overlooked the Mt Timponogas temple. It was so gorgeous! It almost made up for the fact that it took 4 tries to get my IV in and I was in so much pain! But after an hour of trying and three different people they finally got it! Annette was my hero that day! I know that was a really hard part for Scott to watch. I have a pretty high pain tolerance but it really really hurt! 

I was at a four when I got to the hospital and Dr. Haskett likes me to get the epidural really early on to make sure I have it in case of the need to do an emergency c-seciton. So... around 8:30 they broke my water and started me on pitocin. This was my first time ever being induced so I wasn't sure how long it would take. I usually went pretty fast but this was new territory. I had my epidural at 9:30 and was still just dilated to a 5. The time frame was pretty similar to when I had Bennett so we were thinking we would have the baby sometime mid afternoon. Very soon after I got the epidural I started to feel a lot of pain and pressure in my back. So I told Becky that I thought baby might be postierier and she brought out STELLA... this huge peanut shaped exercise ball  that is supposed to help babies come out the right way. This must have been a new development since both Abby and Bennett were both posterior and I had never seen it before.  But it was pretty comfy so I didn't mind using it. At some point I remember thinking that my epidural was not working. Like at all. But I was only at a 5 and thought I had quite a bit of time for it to take effect so I wasn't too worried about it. This was a big mistake! 

Becky checked me around 10:25 and said things were moving quickly, that I was at a 6 and should probably call Kate (video) and Michele(photos) so they could head over. I really thought we had plenty of time at this point. But we told them anyway and they were headed over. Thats when things got a little crazy. 

I was suddenly in a lot of pain. The epidural still was not working and I was getting really upset. Becky called the anesthesiologist to come give me more epidural but he was in the middle of something and would be a few minutes. Becky checked me again and I was at a nine and in transition. I was getting really worried that the Dr. wasn't there yet and I really felt like I had to push! Becky let me push once because I really felt like that was the only thing that would help the pain. So I did.. and boy did it help. She held the babies head in through one more contraction and then Dr. Haskett came in. I will never forget him strolling in and Becky telling him very urgently to put on his gloves... He did... and in one more push Ellie was out. Scott pretty much missed the birth. He had no idea it was going to happen so fast. From the time the dr walked in the door until Ellie was born was 17 seconds. I know because Scott was recording audio since Kate wasn't there yet (she walked in literally as I pushed Ellie out, there goes the whole plan of staying by my head the whole time... sorry sis!) I felt so relieved the pain was over I think I forgot for a moment that we didn't know if the baby was a boy or a girl.. when Scott said "its a girl!' I as over the moon! So grateful she was here! So glad it was over! And so excited that our family had another little girl to love on! It was seriously such a crazy delivery. I had gone from a 6 a 10 in less then 15 minutes. The bed was in its normal position, the room not ready, the dr. not ready. But I was ready.. and so was she... Ellie was born at 10:40 am. 

And she was beautiful. She had lots of Dark hair and was just the sweetest thing. I felt connected to her right away. And new that she was going to be a very treasured member of our family... forever. Heavenly Father knew she is just what our little family needed. And that though the timing seemed all wrong. It was for sure, all right.