Friday, September 28, 2012

Joy Ride

I was going to pick up the missionaries today for a lesson with a girl that is investigating the church.  The lesson was at 5:30.  I honestly wanted to say no to helping this time as it would require rush hour traffic in the cities driving, but I thought better of it knowing I could do this for them and for Jesus Christ. 

I had to pick them up by 4:45 so we could make it to the appointment on time.  I left my apartment at 4:20 so I could pick them up on time.  Traffic was horrible, as expected.  There was a delay on the interstate that added about seven extra minutes, so when I was stuck at a light at 4:45 (ten blocks from the church), I picked up my phone to text the sisters to let them know I got stuck in traffic but I was on my way. 

My phone had a new text message.  The Sister missionaries told me the investigator had cancelled due to feeling poorly.  They sent the message at 3:20.  My phone received it at 4:42.  Ugghhh!  Stupid apartment with bad cell phone reception!

So I flipped a U'ey at the next light and returned to the congested interstate.  I very much dislike rush hour traffic.  One mile took 15 minutes.  I got back to my apartment at 5:25.  An hour of joy riding.  In heavy city traffic.

Oh joy.

Monday, September 17, 2012

i just love the smell of your neck!

Driving in a car with a guy:

On the meandering drive back to my apartment, he started to play with the collar of his shirt. Then he asked, "Do you like my new cologne?"

Being completely honest, as I am indubitably mostly always am, said, "Uh, I actually can't smell it. Sorry."

Waving his hand toward himself, "Here, come take a whiff."

My mind was like... what? did he really just ask me to smell his neck! No way! TOO WEIRD!!!Outwardly I responded politely, "That's okay."

"No really, come smell," he said while waving me toward his neck again.

"Uh. No thanks." No sooner had the 'anks' of my response resonated through my vocal cords when I smelled the sewer problem of that part of town. "Oh. My. That is what you meant. Yes. Very unpleasant." Good thing it was dark in the car. My face felt red.

Thursday, September 13, 2012

Advice for Latter Day Saints

One of the Bishopric members of the YSA branch in Fargo gave a talk with his advice for members of the church, especially YSA. I really liked it and thought I would share:
  1. Stay close to your Father in Heaven!
    • Do you Believe in Him?
    • Do you believe that He will forgive you?
    • Do you believe that He loves you?
    • Do you believe in the Kingdom of Heaven?
  2. Have a testimony of the Book of Mormon.
    • It is the keystone to our Religion.
    • Jesus Christ is the foundation
    • Develop a love for the book!
  3. Don't get caught up with what the critics say. 
    • About the church
    • About the leaders
    • About yourself
  4. Set a goal for a happy, successful Temple marriage.
    • This does not mean that when you are married in the temple you have accomplished this.  It is a lifelong pursuit.  A successful marriage is one of combined strength in faith and love.
  5. Bad things will happen. People will use you. People will offend you, etc.
    • This is not a reason to let go of your testimony or to leave the church or to hold a grudge.
    • Leave it in the hands of God.
    • You must forgive completely.
  6. Be open to change.
    • Even the terrifying changes
    • Be open to grow with the Spirit
  7. Come to Church no matter what!
    • DO NOT WORK ON SUNDAY!
      • If you have a job making you work on Sunday- get a different job!
      • Which is more important?  More money or your eternal salvation?
      • HAVE FAITH!  If you follow His commandments, you will be blessed!
  8. Understand choices and the accountability for those choices.
    • All blessings are tied to obedience to the commandments. 
    • Choose the way Jesus Christ wants you to and you will be blessed.
  9. Repent!
    • We all make mistakes.
    • Do not be afraid to repent.  Just do it.
    • Your Savior atoned for you.  Don't throw that precious gift away out of pride.
  10. The gospel of Jesus Christ should be fun.
    • It should be fun to be active in church.
    • It will be fun to find pearls of eternal truths
    • It should be fun to be part of the social group the church provides.

Tuesday, September 11, 2012

Grocery Men



To the Men of the Grocery Stores World Wide....
 
I am sincerely flattered that you took three minutes of your time from deciding what ragu sauce or hunk of meat you wanted to compliment me and flirt and try to get me to go out with you, but please find some other poor unsuspecting blonde to ask.  Unless I already know you, I am going to turn you down every time, no matter how hard you try, or how puppy-eyed the pleading look you give me... which makes me feel bad for you. 
 
You don't want that do you?  I am sure you do not want my pity. 
 
And no.  I will not do the "pity date"
 
I thank you from the bottom of my heart for your strict compliance with my request.
 
If you need this message in Spanish, I have used Babel Fish translation for you. Please see below.
 
Truly not yours,
Maria
 

A los hombres del mundo supermercados amplia....


Sinceramente me halaga que tomó tres minutos de su tiempo de decidir qué salsa ragú o trozo de carne que quería felicitar a mí y coqueta e intentar hacerme salir contigo, pero por favor buscar algunos otro pobre rubia confiado a preguntar. A menos que ya te conozco, me voy a bajar cada vez, no importa cuán duro tratas o cachorro ojos cómo la mirada de súplica darle mí... lo que me hace sentir mal para usted.


¿Usted qué t desea que usted? Estoy seguro de que desea mi pena.


Y no. No voy a hacer la "pity date" les doy las gracias desde el fondo de mi corazón por su estricto cumplimiento de mi solicitud.


Si usted necesita este mensaje en español, he usado Babel Fish translación para usted. Por favor vea a continuación.


Verdaderamente no tuyo, Maria