MacD Kids: January 2011

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Because it's a fun date.

11 thoughts on 1-11-11.

1. I woke last night at 4am to the sounds of giggling and little feet running up and down my halls. When I went to investigate I found my 4 and 6 yr old had built a gigantic fort in the middle of the hallway with every blanket and stuffed animal off their beds and couches. They had also made multiple 'Welcome' signs with poster paper and markers and taped them around the house...I have NO idea how long they must have been up before I actually found them at 4am, but it has to equal very little sleep for them last night. Unbelievable.

2. It would be horribly depressing to calculate how much money I spend on milk, cereal and bananas. We go through more than 30 bananas, 4 gallons of milk, and a Costco size box of Cheerios, in a week. In ONE week. And my boys aren't even close to teenagers yet. I want to cry.

3. Loosely related to #2. I think I am in severe denial about how much food my family now requires to be prepared for dinner. I am still opening one can of re-fried beans for a Mexican dinner, still thinking maybe I can get away with 3 really large chicken breasts at dinner (because face it, some times, the kids eat 4 measly bites each and they really can split a breast between them) but OTHER times, they are famished wild animals who demand more and more and more as I sheepishly pan out the last bits of chicken amongst plates and cut them into tiny pieces so it feels like I'm offering more than I am. So I resolve that next time I will cook at least 4 breasts, which will ofcourse end up in tupperware for weeks because that will be the dinner they're 'not hungry' for. Aye.

4. Macy wants to open her own store. She is not letting up. She is absolutely convinced that she can build an entire building in our front yard with a roof and shelves and everything and she will sell 'food and toys and grown up things' so that everyone will come and she will make enough money to go to Hawaii. If only I will 'let' her. She begged me this afternoon to let her start building, but the thing is she will pull out all of Ryan's scrap wood and tools and the thing will turn into a colossal mess and I don't really know what to do about this ambition of hers, I can't very well help her make a 'real' store in our front yard, right? What to do. What to do.

5. BTW. The name of her store is SubWard. She isn't budging. She even made a sign.

6. Jude is in this really funny phase where he wakes up from each and every nap and nighttime and promptly throws every single one of his little blankets over the side of his crib into Cooper's crib. This covers Cooper with blankets and leaves Jude's crib bare, then he jumps up and down laughing and yelling 'Bru-Bruh!' (Brother) until he wakes up Cooper and they both yell for me 'Ma-ma!' to come get them. Love it.

7. Cooper is doing this super cute thing where every time he finds Jude's little 'dessy' (the word in our house for Blanket) he picks it up and walks wherever in the house he needs to in order to find Jude, walk up to him and hand it to him. Jude, consequently does the same thing when he finds Coopers Pacifier. Hilarious.

8. Last January my right lower eyelid started twitching. I remember because it lasted 3 whole weeks and finally went away after a Women's retreat I went on at the end of the month. I never thought about it again. Until last week... when IT CAME BACK! I can not tell you the amount of frustration this is causing me. It has been over a week and Im losing my mind.

9. To add insult to injury. Last night as I was lying in bed trying to go back to sleep after the ridiculous incident described in #1; my lip, yes MY LIP, started twitching too. The lower right side of my bottom lip. And it is has kept twitching, fairly consistently, throughout the day up to now even as I type. Did anyone else even know lips could 'twitch'? I think I might be dying of something. For reals.

10. Macy just came back in my room to tell me she needed to punch a hole in our fence to make a door for her store so people could come in from outside. I had the genius idea of explaining to her what a business plan is and that mommy had to write one when she started Bellybou' so now, if Macy would like to open her store she will need to draw up plans for how she will build this store and what she will sell and to whom. She is so jazzed she skipped off with a stack of white paper and pens.. I am honestly afraid of what she will come back with. This girls mind has NO limits.

11. Yesterday on Ryan's day off, while Macy was at school we loaded the boys up in the car and took off for Ikea. We treated ourselves to a little Starbucks beforehand and told Carter he could have a cinnamon roll at Ikea. I have never seen a boy wiggle with so much excitement, he was beside himself. When we got there we also discovered french toast sticks, five for a buck. Seriously? A Cinnamon roll and 5 perfectly shaped for toddler hands French Toast sticks for $2.00? AND consequently 3 happy boys while mommy and daddy stroll Ikea with coffee in hand? Oh Ikea. You were good to us.

And one more for good measure.

Happy Tuesday everyone.

Friday, January 07, 2011

These words are my diary screaming out loud...

Well, the Christmas decor is all boxed and back up in the attic. I think I may have overdone it a bit this year, it kind of looked like Christmas threw up in my living room.. but that's only how I felt at the very end. I absolutely loved it all month, even though I knew it was over the top, it made my kids smile and it made me smile..so I really don't care about anything else. It just meant by New Years Day I was READY. Which is a good thing, cause some years I actually feel sad taking everything down, this year I couldn't get it in boxes fast enough, de-clutter, DE-CLUTTER! And now my house feels clean and crisp to me. Which is another very good thing.

Speaking of New Year's Eve. It was a bit different than last year even though we spent it with just the 6 of us at home again. Last year we felt hopeful and energized. I'll just say this year, when Ryan and I toasted the New Year by ourselves in our living room, with our 4 sleeping children tucked in safely and our tired bodies and minds just barely staying awake, he looked at me and said with all honesty.

"Well, we didn't die this year, that's good." Ha. Atleast we had a good laugh at that. :)

I had alot of well processed and digested thoughts at the end of 2009. Not so much this year. This year I have alot of blah, yuck, half baked thoughts and emotions. And they don't make for such great blog posts. Thus the inactivity lately. Well, at least part of the reason for the inactivity.

I guess I've struggled a bit with blogging in general lately, just feeling like I want to distance myself a little from the NEED to make every experience and thought and moment public. Not for the sake of privacy. I still feel passionately about the discipline of transparency and just basic thoughtful self evaluation, both of which I feel blogging helps me immensely with. As well as simple documenting of my family's journey, which I highly value.

But rather for the sake of the inevitable itty bitty pressures and stress that it seems to HAVE to bring with it. The nagging notion that if I'm having a sweet moment with my kids, I for some reason should grab my camera, not to savor it, but so I can BLOG about it. The voice in the back of my head that shuffles through a gazillion options of the best phrasing for a status update I want to post because I am craving a tiny moment of escape from my actual surroundings. The subtle disappointment I feel about myself when I can't seem to condense my jumbled thoughts into a succinct post, with a funny story and a nicely packaged 'moral to the story' ending.

And as far as blog-hopping, I've begun to be more careful about the blogs I surf and visit as well, watching closely the emotions they pull in me. To covet? To be vaguely dissatisfied in myself or my own life? No no, that is NOT what I enjoy about blogs. I will steer clear. And I challenge you, my friends who visit, to be careful too. These online worlds can be so good; connecting us, challenging us, spurring us on. But as with everything, they can also be used to pull us down. Because we can craft our own realities here, we can choose what to post and we can choose how to paint ourselves. And we, as observers of others, can forget the real icky sticky-ness of the lives behind the computer screens and be tempted to think they somehow have it more together, easier, happier, more talented, more blessed. And in turn we can grow weary of our own journeys, we can be tempted to want someone else's perceived existence for ourselves, which is called coveting by the way. And we can spiral and allow what was intended for good, to be used for pain.

So, what do I do with these thoughts, when I still love blogs and blogging so much? Well, I guess as with all things, I simply must be wise and careful. That's all, no big revelation; just wisdom, and continual evaluation. And lately I've been evaluating.

So that's a tiny bit of explanation for the few less posts this past month. I've been enjoying the freedom that has come with occasionally letting a significant event or large chunk of time pass completely unrecorded save for the exact moments I lived and enjoyed them.

Just figured I'd share. Anyone else have areas you are 'evaluating' these days in pursuit of wisdom?