I think about you. Actually, thats probably a gigantic understatement. I think about you ALOT. There will be four of you ya know. Four of you and one of me, and that is a bit terrifying when I think of all the ways we will affect each other's lives and yet so much of what's making you you and what's making me me is developing independent of each other for these next 20 something years. It's a lot to take in for an over thinker like myself.
So I guess I just wanted to share how you were on my heart last night; and how I hope maybe I'm doing at least one little thing right by you even all these years before I meet you.
Last night 4 handsome little gentlemen came to my door.
Okay in the name of authenticity, only three of them came to the door, one was hiding down the street refusing to take part because he'd had a different picture in his head of how this all should unfold and well, if you are the daughter in law who ended up marrying this particular gentleman..I probably don't need to explain much more about how well this change in plans was received! And while we're being honest I should mention that among the open doors, grateful hugs and perfect manners included in this night, there were also fights over seats, tears over dinner choices and frustrated wiggling bodies over long long lines. We're not writing perfect movie scripts over here, there's 7 real human beings making a go of this thing, so it's gonna be messy. We're okay with that.
I digress.
Regardless of how the play by play unfolded, in the grand scheme of last night, four mini men and their dad took their big sister and mom out for a night of Disney on Ice to celebrate Valentine's Day. At this point only the two year old even cares about Disney characters, but the tickets were given to us and the chance to do something out of the ordinary is all that's needed to make a memory. So Ryan gathered the boys together and involved them in the plan to surprise their mom and sister with a night in their honor. And with a ringing of the doorbell our 'simple made special' began.
There they stood, button up shirts, hair swooped to the side and silly little grins on their faces. And as I looked at them, I thought of you.
Because one day, these boys will be grown. And they will be yours. So even though for right now, I get to enjoy their beaming eyes and hilarious not-so-subtle excitement at the 'secret surprise' they are plotting, I am hoping beyond hope that when they get older it feels natural and normal and even obvious to them that they would take these silly little holidays like Valentine's Day and use them as an excuse to stop for a second and celebrate you. The girl in their life.
It's not so much about Valentine's Day. I'm not even sure you'll grow up caring about Valentine's Day, or liking surprises at all for that matter. But I can't think of a girl who doesn't like to occasionally feel thought of and celebrated. Who doesn't want a guy who sees value in taking the opportunity to turn simple into special from time to time.
It's fun for me, and it's great practice for Macy as I help her manage her expectations and even allow the simple to speak love and thoughtfulness to her heart despite all it's hiccups and imperfections. But ultimately I want you to know that when Ryan and I were scheming up this night, I was honestly mostly thinking of you.
I'm so glad I married a man who's parents went on date nights every single week. We can't make that regular of a thing happen at this stage in life, but dates are certainly a priority and the idea that we need to keep doing special things just the two of us is not anything I've ever had to convince Ryan is important. It's normal to him, it feels obvious. I was also lucky enough to have a mom who got me all dressed up for my own dad to take me out on multiple dates during my childhood. I felt extremely special in those times and I learned how to allow someone to treat me as such.
Sweet daughter in laws, I don't know what crazy habits my boys will bring into their marriages with you that will drive you nuts because it's just so completely off from what you consider normal. I am sure there will be plenty to laugh about, and a few serious ones to apologize for. But at least in this area, I hope that in some tiny way we're building in to them the habit to cherish you.
Because yes, right now, the thought of girls may make all of them crinkle their noses and stick out their tongues. But I can see the future. And I know one day they're gonna be head over heels crazy in love with you.
I'm just trying to teach them how to show it well.
