Mankey Blog

I once had a roommate that made frequent references to the ugly stick.  If she woke up feeling extra "fetching", she would ask which one of us hid the ugly stick in her closet or worse, beat her with it during the night!

I've been feeling the full wrath of the ugly stick lately.  I've never felt like I was all that cute anyhow but my unattractive self-awareness has definitely reached a new level. 

Read on, if you want the play by play.

First, is the post-pregnancy spare tire.  I carry my babies high.  So, instead of the little belly most mother's have and are able to hide, I have a lovely roll right in the middle of my stomach that sticks out of every shirt, blouse and dress I put on!  I've started running again and am able to go out and run 2-3 miles at any given moment.  I also gave up sweets and soda but the scale absolutely refuses to budge.  Then I think, I'll get me some new clothes, they will make me look and feel much better.  Every day I put some of my new, cute things on and stand in front of the mirror with great anticipation.  Nope, still just look like an ugly blob!

Second, are the nursing boobs.  I think all women who want breast implants are seriously CRAZY!  No one wants to carry around, let alone see these unsightly things.  They are impossible to disguise, totally disproportionate to my short frame and just make the rest of me look that much fatter.  Every morning as I drag my sorry, overweight butt along on my run, these things bounce away, threatening to break free of their sports bra prison.  It's really great.

Oh yeah, there's more.

The other day, I found a gigante gray hair.  I've been finding short ones for the past 3 or so years.  But this one was over the top.  I immediately drove to the drug store to buy myself some hair color.  I chose a lovely dark brown, went home and got to work.  Not only did I succeed in dying all my grays a shade of chocolate but also accentuating the dark circles under my eyes!

While we're on the issue of hair...I got a haircut recently.  I was exceptionally nervous because I have not had very good luck with New York hairstylists.  I took my chances and actually found a lady with curly hair herself.  She did a decent job and gave me some styling tips and I left with extremely high hopes.  But, in the weeks to come, I've become very disheartened.  To me, my hair screams "I'm a mom and I've just given up".  It feels shapeless and devoid of any style.

Every morning I wake up, take a look in the mirror and say to myself "Really?  This is what I look like?"  The blank canvas isn't much to work with.  Especially for a makeup and fashionably challenged girl like me.  My exercise efforts very frequently seem fruitless to me. 

I'm not sure what you can do but, someone please rescue me from the ugly stick that has taken up residence in my apartment!

Our little Boo Boo is growing like a weed and we are all enjoying the added interaction that this age brings.  She has recently reached a few noteworthy milestones.

First is the return of the Exersaucer!


Next is rice cereal


I'd like to say that this new addition has helped her sleep through the night but alas, she just seems to love our nightly visits way too much.  But isn't she just the cutest baby ever?!?!?!

And now, a few of the fabulous moments I've been priviliged to witness lately.

We were enjoying Tangled one lazy morning when I looked up from my computer and saw this:


This last one is my favorite.  Such a classic "you guys are crazy" face!

Well Clara, that might be true.  But we're sure gonna enjoy all these moments while we can!

We've been practicing for months.

I really wasn't sure how she'd do, or if she'd even go through with it.

But her day finally came and she couldn't wait for her turn.

Simply adorable!  If I do say so myself!

Before my Easter post, I was getting lots and lots of pressure from my mom and sister to post new pictures.  The reason why it took me so long?  I'm quite literally hanging on by a thread.  If you remember, when I first got pregnant with Clara, I was terrified!  I just wasn't sure I would be able to handle two kids.  Well, unfortunately, all of my fears have come true. 

Compared to Anna's, Clara's pregnancy was much harder with the biggest plague being inexplicable high blood pressure.  I had to go in for lots of extra doctor visits, ultrasounds and tests and was even sent back to the hospital a week after her birth.  I ended up being put on medication for a short time to regulate it.

Next is all of our sleeping problems.  Clara's sleeping has given me fits from the moment we brought her home from the hospital.  I know I was super lucky but the most Anna ever woke up in the night was twice.  Clara would wake up 4 and 5 times.  So much that sometimes I would just go into the bathroom and cry.  We did finally find our stride.  At about two months, we started to figure each other out and her sleeping got much better.  I could count on the fact that she would go down at 7 pm and sleep until 2 am.  I was so assured that I even left her with a friend while Spencer and I went out for a Valentine's Day dinner. 

Then all hell broke loose.  She started waking up at midnight.  Then 11 pm.  Then 11 pm, 12 am, 1 am AND 2 am!  We were all fit to be tied so once she hit 4 months, we let her cry it out.  I slept on the couch and Spencer slept on Anna's top bunk while she screamed bloody murder for three nights, for at least two hours straight.  I'm really not sure how long it was.  I was so tired that I actually fell asleep before she did.

After that, she found her groove again.  She would again go down at 7 pm, wake up at 5 or 6 am for a feeding then go back to sleep for an hour or so.  Great!  I thought, I can do this.  I once again felt so good about it that I moved her out of the bassinet in our room and into the crib in Anna's room.

Then all hell broke loose, AGAIN!  Since moving her into her crib, we've had to let her cry it out at least four times.  Two of those times included a hurried move of Anna to either our bed or the couch so the poor thing could have some relief from her screaming sister.  Any of you who have done the cry it out method know this is not normal.  Usually you do it and you're done.  You don't have to KEEP doing it!  Last night was one such night.  Spencer and I sat and listened to her scream from 2:30 am to 4 am at which point I figured we all needed some rest and went to feed her.

I just don't get it!  Aren't babies supposed to figure it out and then keep it up, or even (gasp!) get better? Not figure it out and then backslide to where they used to be and have to start the whole process all over again? 

Add to all this, the fact that Anna is having severe displacement issues.  First, for reasons even she couldn't explain, she started peeing her pants again.  We finally got that back under control but her moods took a major turn for the worst.  She has periods of sunshine but most of our days are riddled with extreme disobedience, fits, LOTS of crying and sassiness.  I really do feel for her but I have a hard time showing sympathy when she's running around the post office acting like a monkey I just let out of it's cage!

The final piece to our trifecta is the fact that a non-sleeping baby and an incorrigible toddler do not make me the mother I'd like to be.  I yell.  Alot.  I'm also severly depressed and I find it very, very hard to summon the strength or energy to do anything but sit around the house in my pajamas, hoping that my baby will take a good nap.  Friends have asked what they could do for me and I just shrug thinking Sure, you want to trade places at 2 am so you can listen to her scream and I can actually sleep for once in five months?  It's bad news and I'm really quite miserable.

So there you have it.  I actually feel much better getting it all out in the open instead of hiding behind my facade of "everything's fine".