when i went home i found an old journal on my bookshelf. it's first "entry" is October 26th, 2001. it's about halfway full of stuff. but tonight i drew in it because,... well, it's not finished yet. =)
peace,
-marc
Thursday, December 27, 2007
Saturday, December 22, 2007
Springfield, MO
It's been some time since I've written a blog. There's been many a times I've clicked on "New Post" and written something but never published it. Perhaps this will be one of those times ... if you're reading it, I suppose not.
I'm back in Springfield, MO ... the birth place of me and my brothers. It's the Holidays which have become very interesting times in my life. Here I am at a Panera Bread not far from the house I grew up in and so many thoughts are running through my head. Here's a few of 'em...
The fat lady today, driving a mini van, smoking a cigarette and talking on her cell phone today flipped me off after I tapped my brakes at her because she was too close. It made me laugh and love Springfield even more.
I used to have a blog called "Diary of Disciple" back in the old days. I printed some posts off and put 'em in a journal that I found the other night. I can't believe how I thought, how I wrote and what I said. WOW. It was amazing. Now I don't even want to go to church tomorrow morning. How I've changed... It also made me realize how silly things are sometimes. Things that I wrote about, things that I worried about. It made me realize that even what I'm writing right now will seem trivial in a few years. Still trying to comprehend that...
We went to go see my Uncle Don yesterday at a Assisted Living Center in Sullivan, MO. It's always a trip to see him and yesterday was no exception. Life is simple for some and it's nice to be brought back to that.
I went to visit my mother's grave site for the first time a few hours ago. So many thoughts and memories and emotions went through my head and heart and soul. It was hard to focus on anything. I didn't know what to do, how to think, how long to stay or anything ... it was a good experience, one I'm finally glad I got around to. Even through death my mother is still teaching me things.
I have a girlfriend. Her name is Stacey. I like her. =)
I feel like there's more ... I'm sitting in this familiar booth with a cup of coffee just staring at the screen wanting to ... I dunno. I don't even know who reads this anymore so I don't know my audience. How open do I be? How much do I express? What can I say without having family members write me and quote scripture? Where is the balance between truth and entertaining words?
We'll see. I guess I'll go ahead and hit publish and see what happens.
2008 is the year of the portrait.
Peace,
-marc
I'm back in Springfield, MO ... the birth place of me and my brothers. It's the Holidays which have become very interesting times in my life. Here I am at a Panera Bread not far from the house I grew up in and so many thoughts are running through my head. Here's a few of 'em...
The fat lady today, driving a mini van, smoking a cigarette and talking on her cell phone today flipped me off after I tapped my brakes at her because she was too close. It made me laugh and love Springfield even more.
I used to have a blog called "Diary of Disciple" back in the old days. I printed some posts off and put 'em in a journal that I found the other night. I can't believe how I thought, how I wrote and what I said. WOW. It was amazing. Now I don't even want to go to church tomorrow morning. How I've changed... It also made me realize how silly things are sometimes. Things that I wrote about, things that I worried about. It made me realize that even what I'm writing right now will seem trivial in a few years. Still trying to comprehend that...
We went to go see my Uncle Don yesterday at a Assisted Living Center in Sullivan, MO. It's always a trip to see him and yesterday was no exception. Life is simple for some and it's nice to be brought back to that.
I went to visit my mother's grave site for the first time a few hours ago. So many thoughts and memories and emotions went through my head and heart and soul. It was hard to focus on anything. I didn't know what to do, how to think, how long to stay or anything ... it was a good experience, one I'm finally glad I got around to. Even through death my mother is still teaching me things.
I have a girlfriend. Her name is Stacey. I like her. =)
I feel like there's more ... I'm sitting in this familiar booth with a cup of coffee just staring at the screen wanting to ... I dunno. I don't even know who reads this anymore so I don't know my audience. How open do I be? How much do I express? What can I say without having family members write me and quote scripture? Where is the balance between truth and entertaining words?
We'll see. I guess I'll go ahead and hit publish and see what happens.
2008 is the year of the portrait.
Peace,
-marc
Friday, November 23, 2007
Sunday, November 04, 2007
War
I hate the war. I think it's pointless, harmful and pure evil. I think our president is doing a horrible job, we should pull out of Iraq, and he should be impeached today. I hate feeling so helpless. The war is wrong, people are dying every day senselessly, but there is not one damn thing I can do about it. Sure, I can organize a protest, make a video, take a stunning picture or write my congressman. I can post a blog about it, call my friends and get everyone really worked up but ... other than that there's nothing I can do. Bush isn't going to change his mind even if I walk up to the White House doors and speak to him one and one. Everybody is pissed about the war, but nothing seems to be working and it's still going on. As an American I feel helpless and voiceless. No one cares what I think. (except you faithful readers, thank you) BUT we still can't do anything.
I just watched something on Current TV about a normal family in Iraq. It was an awesome video; the first half was just showing normal Baghdad living...swimming, eating, loving family and all that good stuff. The second half of the video was about how the kid who was making the video's uncle got "accidentally" killed by American troops. I don't wanna get into details, blah blah blah, but the video made me so upset. Here was this perfectly good family, much like mine, and then because someone happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time, and our troops were there too...a life was ended and a family destroyed. This is just one life we're talking about too, ... think about how many have been lost.
But I guess this will be the last time I will say anything about it. I feel so helpless. No matter what I write, who I talk to, what I say or how many people hear me say it ... we're still gonna be in this stupid war at least until next November. I would run away to another country but I think the entire world is as screwed up as we are in some way or another.
I'm sorry, as an American, as a human, that this is happening. I wish I could change it, I wish I could stop it, but obviously I have no power to do such thing.
I just watched something on Current TV about a normal family in Iraq. It was an awesome video; the first half was just showing normal Baghdad living...swimming, eating, loving family and all that good stuff. The second half of the video was about how the kid who was making the video's uncle got "accidentally" killed by American troops. I don't wanna get into details, blah blah blah, but the video made me so upset. Here was this perfectly good family, much like mine, and then because someone happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time, and our troops were there too...a life was ended and a family destroyed. This is just one life we're talking about too, ... think about how many have been lost.
But I guess this will be the last time I will say anything about it. I feel so helpless. No matter what I write, who I talk to, what I say or how many people hear me say it ... we're still gonna be in this stupid war at least until next November. I would run away to another country but I think the entire world is as screwed up as we are in some way or another.
I'm sorry, as an American, as a human, that this is happening. I wish I could change it, I wish I could stop it, but obviously I have no power to do such thing.
Monday, October 29, 2007
New York, NY
I just got back from New York today where I had 4 awesome photo shoots; Andrew, Nick, Jackie and Rachel. Thanks to Devon for hookin' it up, swing by the Galleries on my webpage to check out all the latest photo shoots I've been doing.
Have an awesome week!
Peace,
-marc
Friday, September 28, 2007
the Europe Pictures

Hello all.
The Europe Pictures can now be seen online. Look soon for something in print.
Check 'em out here: www.marcblackwellphotography.com (newly refreshed)
or on Flickr: http://www.flickr.com/photos/artiststarving/collections/72157602136382283/
There's a lot ... some from Paris got deleted by accident, but it was a great trip overall. Everything was fascinating for this little Missouri boy and I can't wait to see and photograph the rest of the world. Just hit the slideshow on either site and enjoy!
Peace,
-marc
Sunday, September 02, 2007
Europe
I'm finally going to Europe.
My backpack is packed.
My camera is charged and ready.
I'll be back.
peace,
-marc
My backpack is packed.
My camera is charged and ready.
I'll be back.
peace,
-marc
Monday, August 06, 2007
From LA, to NY, to NC
What a crazy couple of weeks it's been. I had photo shoots up the wazoo in L.A. with some very exciting and beautiful people before I randomly tripped up to New York City for another photo shoot. Then I jumped on the one and only Corbin Bleu's concert tour to take pictures for a couple of days. And that's where I sit now. In the dressing room, just chillin' before dinner.
Life is ... crazy. Good in some aspects, rocky in others, but over all pretty fantastic.
Peace,
-marc
Life is ... crazy. Good in some aspects, rocky in others, but over all pretty fantastic.
Peace,
-marc
Monday, July 23, 2007
yup, it's me.
i know i have an eclectic readership on this blog ranging from relatives to crazy fan girls to clients and friends. it's interesting trying to post to such a wide variety of an audience.
my immediate family loves me. my dad and my brothers love me. sometimes they are concerned about me, sometimes i disappoint them but they always have and always will love me. since the days when my mom made our lunch every single day in our primary schooling days to when my mom passed away and my dad got remarried and his wife showed a true love as well. i know that no matter what happens in this world, in california or anywhere that i have family in the midwestern part of the united states. family that will love me even if everything goes down the tube.
but right now i feel their support and love and that's why i'm chasing my dreams. my dream is to be a real artist. i've always, always loved some form of art in some way. when i was in grade school i would draw in my spelling papers and get in trouble for doodling too much. i finished tests way too fast so i could turn it over and have a blank page to draw on. my favorite class was art class with mrs. fletcher in grade school. i see great influential artists who change the world in positive ways and i aspire to do that too. i aspire to be great, to be a house-hold name when it comes to photography. i want to be an ansel adams. to be an honest good person who's also very talented in his craft.
yes i am a college drop-out. yes i have "lost my faith". but i do have purpose. sometimes it's cloudy, sometimes it gets distracted by the typical day to day 20 something distractions. i'm a 20 something. i can't separate love from lust. (thanks jamie cullum) i don't know if a degree is more important than a portfolio or if friends are worth more than money. i have a solid background with good upbringing ... i'm okay, okay? just because sometimes i spill my beans in an honest way on my blog does not mean i've lost my way. my dad came out to visit me in california and living was easy. it's wasn't like in college where i was hiding things.
i am an artist - with a deep passion for the word. the word means so much in itself that the only way to be cool with it is to have an open mind. i hope that i can help open your mind in some way with my art.
that's all i got.
peace out y'all.
-marc
my immediate family loves me. my dad and my brothers love me. sometimes they are concerned about me, sometimes i disappoint them but they always have and always will love me. since the days when my mom made our lunch every single day in our primary schooling days to when my mom passed away and my dad got remarried and his wife showed a true love as well. i know that no matter what happens in this world, in california or anywhere that i have family in the midwestern part of the united states. family that will love me even if everything goes down the tube.
but right now i feel their support and love and that's why i'm chasing my dreams. my dream is to be a real artist. i've always, always loved some form of art in some way. when i was in grade school i would draw in my spelling papers and get in trouble for doodling too much. i finished tests way too fast so i could turn it over and have a blank page to draw on. my favorite class was art class with mrs. fletcher in grade school. i see great influential artists who change the world in positive ways and i aspire to do that too. i aspire to be great, to be a house-hold name when it comes to photography. i want to be an ansel adams. to be an honest good person who's also very talented in his craft.
yes i am a college drop-out. yes i have "lost my faith". but i do have purpose. sometimes it's cloudy, sometimes it gets distracted by the typical day to day 20 something distractions. i'm a 20 something. i can't separate love from lust. (thanks jamie cullum) i don't know if a degree is more important than a portfolio or if friends are worth more than money. i have a solid background with good upbringing ... i'm okay, okay? just because sometimes i spill my beans in an honest way on my blog does not mean i've lost my way. my dad came out to visit me in california and living was easy. it's wasn't like in college where i was hiding things.
i am an artist - with a deep passion for the word. the word means so much in itself that the only way to be cool with it is to have an open mind. i hope that i can help open your mind in some way with my art.
that's all i got.
peace out y'all.
-marc
Friday, July 13, 2007
understanding
stop trying to understand people ... make them understand you.
perhaps what you have to say is right.
i can be sad if i want to. at the blink of an eye i could be really sad. and genuinely so. but then i can turn around and be happy just as quickly. and be truly happy. sometimes it's hard to switch those on and off.
sometimes he just stands, wasting minutes until something happens. what's he waiting for? monetary obstacles are minimal compared to mental. but what the hell is it?
not that i always want to be happy. but what to call times like right now?
"once you stop painting (the autonomy of art) and allow other people to look at your art it's no longer yours." so true.
advice. from all angles but no one listens, not even me. alone.
alone.
things happening around, people coming and going. where are you going?
perhaps what you have to say is right.
i can be sad if i want to. at the blink of an eye i could be really sad. and genuinely so. but then i can turn around and be happy just as quickly. and be truly happy. sometimes it's hard to switch those on and off.
sometimes he just stands, wasting minutes until something happens. what's he waiting for? monetary obstacles are minimal compared to mental. but what the hell is it?
not that i always want to be happy. but what to call times like right now?
"once you stop painting (the autonomy of art) and allow other people to look at your art it's no longer yours." so true.
advice. from all angles but no one listens, not even me. alone.
alone.
things happening around, people coming and going. where are you going?
Thursday, July 12, 2007
i expect no one to understand
i wake up and decide what i want to do. that's usually a shower and some grub. sometimes no grub. then i check my e-mail. that's what i do. sometimes i'll draw, perhaps i'll play some tennis, or go outside ... i dunno. then i check my e-mail. i get so excited sometimes when amazon sends me electronic coupons and new book recommendations. it's not sad...it's nothing to judge. it's just life right now. simple. basic. music makes minutes pass quicker. check my e-mail. still nothin'. friends mean more than money. always thinking ... sometimes writing. always growing, sometimes slower than others. i wake up and have nothing to do. what and how i fill my days is up to me. i don't know how i've gotten into this situation or how to get out. or if i want to get out. or if i should just ride the ride.
talking. negativity. false negativity, made up hatefulness and assumed distrust. it's weird. but always ok by the time i fall asleep.
then i wake up.
sometimes i write a blog.
then i check my e-mail.
it's weird when your life is your work. or your work is your life. when there's no separation between personal growth and business growth ... it's gets strange. as an artist i understand that the more suffering and confusion i go through the better my art will be but it's hard to comprehend that when you're sitting right in the middle of crap.
talking. negativity. false negativity, made up hatefulness and assumed distrust. it's weird. but always ok by the time i fall asleep.
then i wake up.
sometimes i write a blog.
then i check my e-mail.
it's weird when your life is your work. or your work is your life. when there's no separation between personal growth and business growth ... it's gets strange. as an artist i understand that the more suffering and confusion i go through the better my art will be but it's hard to comprehend that when you're sitting right in the middle of crap.
Monday, July 09, 2007
Sunday, June 24, 2007
Church on Sunday
This morning my father and I went to church.
Some white bearded man tried to convince me that God really does exists.
I don't think it worked.
Peace,
-marc
Some white bearded man tried to convince me that God really does exists.
I don't think it worked.
Peace,
-marc
Saturday, June 23, 2007
the internet is ok.
Tuesday, May 22, 2007
Caracas, Venezuela
Traveling is awesome, and like I said before I will be doing more of it in the future. You learn so much about yourself, about others, about the world and everything. Everyday you're a new person. This world is bigger than Missouri, Oklahoma, California, the United States ... there are a lot of people on this planet.
More later,
Peace,
-marc
Sunday, May 20, 2007
Sau Paulo, Brazil
Ciao!
-marc
Friday, May 18, 2007
Santiago, Chile
Wednesday, May 16, 2007
Buenos Aires, Argentina!
Hola, from Beunos Aires, Argentina! South America es MUY beuno y bonita. I love it. I love traveling. I love the tour life. I love being a photographer. This - this is a good moment.
Being enriched in a different culture at the same time as having rock star status is an interesting experience for your first out of the country excursion. So many things going on - so much personal positive change and happiness with life. It's not strange, it's delightful and welcomed. Life is fantastic.
Adios, Beunos Noches,
-marc
Being enriched in a different culture at the same time as having rock star status is an interesting experience for your first out of the country excursion. So many things going on - so much personal positive change and happiness with life. It's not strange, it's delightful and welcomed. Life is fantastic.
Adios, Beunos Noches,
-marc
Wednesday, May 09, 2007
South America!
In 3 days I'll be boarding a plane for Miami, FL. After that 4 and a half hour flight I'll jump on another plane for almost 9 hours to Buenos Aires, Argentina! Just saying "Buenos Aires, Argentina!" makes ya wanna dance, doesn't it?
I will once again be accompanying my good friend Lucas and the rest of the High School Musical crew for the Latin American HSM Concert Tour. It's the same crazy people as last time so good energy and great vibes are already being sent out. It's going to be insane. Absolutely insane.
ALONG FOR THE RIDE, the book, is coming along nicely. That's all the update you get for now - don't worry ... more exciting news in the near future.
23, the book, is a new project collection of photographs I'm working on for my second book. Details on that will be popping up all over the place as well.
So life is exciting and full of photographic opportunities. Stay tuned...who knows what's gonna happen next.
Peace,
-marc
I will once again be accompanying my good friend Lucas and the rest of the High School Musical crew for the Latin American HSM Concert Tour. It's the same crazy people as last time so good energy and great vibes are already being sent out. It's going to be insane. Absolutely insane.
ALONG FOR THE RIDE, the book, is coming along nicely. That's all the update you get for now - don't worry ... more exciting news in the near future.
23, the book, is a new project collection of photographs I'm working on for my second book. Details on that will be popping up all over the place as well.
So life is exciting and full of photographic opportunities. Stay tuned...who knows what's gonna happen next.
Peace,
-marc
Wednesday, May 02, 2007
The $10,000 Painting
This is the $10,000 Painting going for just as much at eBay.com. It was created on May 1st, 2007 with acrylic on canvas by 4 different artists. The auction ends
Tuesday, May 01, 2007
"good morning"
on KCRW 89.9 FM Rufus Wainwright says "good morning L.A." in a soft voice before playing more live music. This is another reason why I love California.
peace,
-marc
peace,
-marc
Monday, April 30, 2007
the time is 10:48 and everyone is at home.
Lucas sits on the couch. Michael is "cleaning his room". I'm writing this blog. We're all under the same roof. At the same time. Anton is leaving as quickly as he came, it's just us now. This rarely happens.
The room is scattered with instruments, nintendos, tea cups, toys, dvds, paintings, cameras, a billboard award, some cords, speakers, a bike, a couple tripods, a few lamps and other fun things to look at and play with. Music plays, conversation is small and simple, and it's nice to be in everyone's company again. It's warm here. We're all full after an awesome cook-out by the pool. Life is grand. There's not a care in the world, when there could be, but there's no time for that nonsense right now.
I just wanted to record this moment. With laughter, and good vibes in the air - this is what we live for. This is good.
Peace,
-marc
The room is scattered with instruments, nintendos, tea cups, toys, dvds, paintings, cameras, a billboard award, some cords, speakers, a bike, a couple tripods, a few lamps and other fun things to look at and play with. Music plays, conversation is small and simple, and it's nice to be in everyone's company again. It's warm here. We're all full after an awesome cook-out by the pool. Life is grand. There's not a care in the world, when there could be, but there's no time for that nonsense right now.
I just wanted to record this moment. With laughter, and good vibes in the air - this is what we live for. This is good.
Peace,
-marc
Thursday, April 26, 2007
Wednesday, April 25, 2007
L.A. Dodgers
Monday, April 23, 2007
...and go...
*click blogger*
*click new post*
type "...and go...
type *click bloggerr-r-r-r.. .. . . .
nothing to talk about, but still typing. we're going to see what comes out. ya know, writing online is a helluva lot different than writing on paper. who knows how people will interpret what i write anyway. no one sees the paper - it's more honest. here i might get "scorned" for using the word "helluva". i still try to keep honesty a main factor on this blogger account of mine. i believe in honesty. i believe in silence too. i've learned in the past that people's outlook can change, from positive to negative, with just a tiny piece of information. and quickly they take back their love. just like that.
*click blogger*
*click new post*
type...
*publish*
they hate you. they don't feel you're worthy to hang out with their children or family any more. they shun you, talk about you behind your back and babble about how you've lost your way to Satan.
but this is negative. at least in the blogging world i have the power to either publish positive or negative things. i can bring good or bad to my web page. blah blah blah, people don't like you because of the decisions you make, blah blah blah. it's all good. it doesn't make me change my decisions. i don't revolve around such people anymore so life is easy. i'm a free thinking, free speaking artist and people are cool with that. i'm cool with that. i'm cool with you too.
i think that's something i would like to tell everyone. ya know how when you imagine if you have 10 seconds to say anything to every single person on the planet right now what would you say? i'd let everyone know that i'm cool with everyone. i have no problems with anyone and would like to keep it that way. some people may have problems with me however, which makes them think i should have a problem with them. but i don't.
cept those damn kids that keep prank calling my cell phone. bahumbug. ;)
Traffic zooms by. it's 5:14. Rush hour in LA. You don't want to go out right now. Or at least I don't. My apartment is getting dark. Darker than when I woke up. The bright screen is reminding me how hungry i am. do I go to Burger King again. mmm...burger king. Or make a sandwhich. mmm. sandwhich. Or walk to 4n20? mmm...4n20. Food. food. food.
peace,
-marc
*click new post*
type "...and go...
type *click bloggerr-r-r-r.. .. . . .
nothing to talk about, but still typing. we're going to see what comes out. ya know, writing online is a helluva lot different than writing on paper. who knows how people will interpret what i write anyway. no one sees the paper - it's more honest. here i might get "scorned" for using the word "helluva". i still try to keep honesty a main factor on this blogger account of mine. i believe in honesty. i believe in silence too. i've learned in the past that people's outlook can change, from positive to negative, with just a tiny piece of information. and quickly they take back their love. just like that.
*click blogger*
*click new post*
type...
*publish*
they hate you. they don't feel you're worthy to hang out with their children or family any more. they shun you, talk about you behind your back and babble about how you've lost your way to Satan.
but this is negative. at least in the blogging world i have the power to either publish positive or negative things. i can bring good or bad to my web page. blah blah blah, people don't like you because of the decisions you make, blah blah blah. it's all good. it doesn't make me change my decisions. i don't revolve around such people anymore so life is easy. i'm a free thinking, free speaking artist and people are cool with that. i'm cool with that. i'm cool with you too.
i think that's something i would like to tell everyone. ya know how when you imagine if you have 10 seconds to say anything to every single person on the planet right now what would you say? i'd let everyone know that i'm cool with everyone. i have no problems with anyone and would like to keep it that way. some people may have problems with me however, which makes them think i should have a problem with them. but i don't.
cept those damn kids that keep prank calling my cell phone. bahumbug. ;)
Traffic zooms by. it's 5:14. Rush hour in LA. You don't want to go out right now. Or at least I don't. My apartment is getting dark. Darker than when I woke up. The bright screen is reminding me how hungry i am. do I go to Burger King again. mmm...burger king. Or make a sandwhich. mmm. sandwhich. Or walk to 4n20? mmm...4n20. Food. food. food.
peace,
-marc
Thursday, April 12, 2007
Jeannine Blankinship
Monday, April 09, 2007
another week down ... another to go
congratulations. we did it, we're all still here. another week has passed and as of 6 minutes ago another has started. what did we do? what did we accomplish? who's lives did we touch, impact for the better or worse. how did we change the world - again, positively or negatively? what did we create and bring into the world? what did we waste and destroy? how did our bodies suffer or heal this week. what did we listen to, what did we input into our brains, how much of all of that was worthwhile? what is worthwhile. who did you talk to? who did you tell that you loved. . . who should you have told that you loved? what friendship was made, rekindled, weakened, forgotten? what was figured out, how have we changed? are you stronger, in a better mood, relaxed? what did you call important - what was on your list of things to do? did they get completed or do you have to add 'em to your list again this week? do you finish your lists? do you even create lists? how? why not? what?
another week has started. what will it bring? where will i go? who will i speak with and what will happen? will i waste any second of the future? what will i see? what will i discover?
i'm curious.
another week has started. what will it bring? where will i go? who will i speak with and what will happen? will i waste any second of the future? what will i see? what will i discover?
i'm curious.
Friday, April 06, 2007
Wednesday, April 04, 2007
every day.
Every day I wake up and my day begins. I decide how my day is going to unfold. This decision usually takes the entire day and is decided by many ever changing variables. No day is never the same even if they all blur together by similar motions.
My life is up to me. Down to every single moment in every single one of my days. My attitude, diet, soundtrack, emotions, relationships and organic milk. I live where I want to live, with who I like and because I want to. I'm sitting on my couch right now posting a blog because I want to.
You create your own conflicts. You cause your own drama. You invent your own happiness and hold on to your depression for just a little bit longer than "normal". Because you can.
My mind is always thinking. For thoughts to catch hold, or dreams to become reality and projects to actually be completed - takes a lot of focus. I'm easy to fall in love and quick to drop something good. I turn quiet in loud situations and talk at awkward times. I'm motivated but laziness. I have everything at my finger tips and still walk away. I say things I don't mean and then back them up in front of other people. I can't concentrate for longer than a few minutes, and long term goals are long term.
i love a lot of things. want to do it all. see it all, go everywhere and do everything. act, sing, perform on stage, paint on the side of a building, go to amsterdam, record a music video, pose naked for a photographer, quit smoking, smoke more. play the piano. visit my mom's grave. tare at the wall.
what do you want? what do i want. do i want to sit in front of a computer screen every day? do i want to be lazy and unemployed? do i want to keep blaming small distractions for my lack of success. Though some would call my successful and I could just believe them and keep on living in my lies of distractions. Do i want to tell you this, or capitalize my i's?
i don't know and i think every day that i wake up i will still have absolutely no clue. i think i'll call myself a photographer for now for that's what makes me happy. i think i'll find projects along the way and make just enough money to survive but never know if i'll be ok or not. i think every day i'll think about what i'm thinking about and try to figure myself out all over again.
i see old guys walking down the street alone. with a meal for one in their plastic bag from ralphs. i wonder if that will be me? with ipod in hand and completely alone. i wonder if i'll eat all my meals alone and if this conversation inside my head will ever be shared.
with everyone trying to be noticed ... to reach fame, success and acknowledgment from the universe - i think i'd be ok to slip into anonymity. i used to think i wanted to be a household name. i used to think i wanted to change the world. make a difference. affect this world positively.
now i don't think so.
positive energy is hard to contain.
these are just ramblings going on inside my head today.
My life is up to me. Down to every single moment in every single one of my days. My attitude, diet, soundtrack, emotions, relationships and organic milk. I live where I want to live, with who I like and because I want to. I'm sitting on my couch right now posting a blog because I want to.
You create your own conflicts. You cause your own drama. You invent your own happiness and hold on to your depression for just a little bit longer than "normal". Because you can.
My mind is always thinking. For thoughts to catch hold, or dreams to become reality and projects to actually be completed - takes a lot of focus. I'm easy to fall in love and quick to drop something good. I turn quiet in loud situations and talk at awkward times. I'm motivated but laziness. I have everything at my finger tips and still walk away. I say things I don't mean and then back them up in front of other people. I can't concentrate for longer than a few minutes, and long term goals are long term.
i love a lot of things. want to do it all. see it all, go everywhere and do everything. act, sing, perform on stage, paint on the side of a building, go to amsterdam, record a music video, pose naked for a photographer, quit smoking, smoke more. play the piano. visit my mom's grave. tare at the wall.
what do you want? what do i want. do i want to sit in front of a computer screen every day? do i want to be lazy and unemployed? do i want to keep blaming small distractions for my lack of success. Though some would call my successful and I could just believe them and keep on living in my lies of distractions. Do i want to tell you this, or capitalize my i's?
i don't know and i think every day that i wake up i will still have absolutely no clue. i think i'll call myself a photographer for now for that's what makes me happy. i think i'll find projects along the way and make just enough money to survive but never know if i'll be ok or not. i think every day i'll think about what i'm thinking about and try to figure myself out all over again.
i see old guys walking down the street alone. with a meal for one in their plastic bag from ralphs. i wonder if that will be me? with ipod in hand and completely alone. i wonder if i'll eat all my meals alone and if this conversation inside my head will ever be shared.
with everyone trying to be noticed ... to reach fame, success and acknowledgment from the universe - i think i'd be ok to slip into anonymity. i used to think i wanted to be a household name. i used to think i wanted to change the world. make a difference. affect this world positively.
now i don't think so.
positive energy is hard to contain.
these are just ramblings going on inside my head today.
Thursday, March 29, 2007
1000+
Since launching the new version of my website last week on March 23rd I've received over 1,000 original hits. You guys are awesome.
Peace,
-marc
Peace,
-marc
Wednesday, March 28, 2007
Sunday, March 18, 2007
Thursday, March 15, 2007
a beautiful sunny thursday day
This morning I woke up with a smile on my face. I jumped in the shower, dried myself off and threw on some old clothes off the floor. Capping myself with my favorite red St. Louis Cardinals hat and popping in my earphones I headed off for some Starbucks. Simon and Garfunkel accompanied me as I made the short walk across the street and got my chia latte. "The Only Living Boy in New York", you may recognize if you've seen Garden State played in my ears as the perfect weather made every flip flop better. There are two lines from that song that fit today:
"I get the news I need on the weather report",
and
"I've got nothing to do today but smile".
I've got a lot more to do today than smile though. I've been accepted to blog "professionally" for a hotel company in Los Angeles, contacted to do photo essays for a world wide contemporary art magazine, I have an interview with a wedding company in Thousand Oaks and my book - Along For The Ride finally came in last night! After weeks of "what the hell am i doing?" I still have that feeling but I have the illusion that I have more direction. Things are on the verge of happening (if they aren't already) and as long as I put forth the effort and do my best I can be a successful photographer here in the big city.
My good friends Keegan and Cat are coming into town tonight too, so today is full of positive energy.
Have a good one, I'll catch ya later.
peace,
-marc
"I get the news I need on the weather report",
and
"I've got nothing to do today but smile".
I've got a lot more to do today than smile though. I've been accepted to blog "professionally" for a hotel company in Los Angeles, contacted to do photo essays for a world wide contemporary art magazine, I have an interview with a wedding company in Thousand Oaks and my book - Along For The Ride finally came in last night! After weeks of "what the hell am i doing?" I still have that feeling but I have the illusion that I have more direction. Things are on the verge of happening (if they aren't already) and as long as I put forth the effort and do my best I can be a successful photographer here in the big city.
My good friends Keegan and Cat are coming into town tonight too, so today is full of positive energy.
Have a good one, I'll catch ya later.
peace,
-marc
Tuesday, March 13, 2007
Monday, March 12, 2007
Shipped!
Saturday, March 10, 2007
2nd Saturday in row
But in other news - the book has been ordered and should be showing up at my doorstep any moment. This is a presentation book, not the final copy. From here I will show it to Disney to see what they want to do. Fingers crossed they want to edit the crap out of it and publish it. We shall see.
Re site design. It sucks crack. We'll get it figured out one of these days.
Adios friends,
-marc
Monday, March 05, 2007
Sunday, February 18, 2007
the book...
The book goes well. It's an interesting project but I'm having a lot of fun learning how to actually put a book together. The pictures have to tell a story, the story has to tell a story and there's all these "rules" that you have to abide by that you don't have to when you say ... blog. So it's cool. I'm stoked about it. It's like a college art project except this one's a litlte bigger and I don't get a grade - I get a paycheck.
Other than that life in Cali is great. It's sunny and warm and I try to stay outside as much as possible.
Stay tuned. For what? Who knows. We'll see.
Peace,
-marc
Other than that life in Cali is great. It's sunny and warm and I try to stay outside as much as possible.
Stay tuned. For what? Who knows. We'll see.
Peace,
-marc
Thursday, February 15, 2007
Barry
My photography inspiration Noah Grey's husband, Barry passed away a few days ago. This hits home in weird ways and just makes me want to point out how precious life and love is. In all shapes and sizes we should focus on the positive of this world and force negativity out of our individual lives. Simplify your own life and help those around you to appreciate beauty and realness.
Peace,
-marc
Peace,
-marc
Monday, February 05, 2007
Back in LA
I'm back in Los Angeles! Yeah...it's nice to be back home from tour. It's nice to call California my home. And it's warm and beautiful - which is also nice. =)
Tour was amazing. It was by far the coolest 2 months of my life to date. Life on the road is fast, exciting and always new. Being in a different city every single day, living in hotel rooms, and treated like a rock star never got boring and I'd recommend it to anyone. The people became family, every need was taken care of and for the first time I felt like the photographer I've always wanted to be. There wasn't a moment to complain or an event that was unpleasent.
Currently I'm woring on my biggest project ever - a book called Along For the Ride. (the title may change. . . who knows). I've got representation and everything lined up for the book to be published! Now I just have to put it together. It's a fun learning process and hopefully the start of something fundamental to my career.
This is a good time in my life. Just coming off an intense trip across the country and chilling out. Catching up, setting up, and starting up. The sun is shinning (literally) in my direction and I feel good and full of positive energy.
Peace,
-marc
Tour was amazing. It was by far the coolest 2 months of my life to date. Life on the road is fast, exciting and always new. Being in a different city every single day, living in hotel rooms, and treated like a rock star never got boring and I'd recommend it to anyone. The people became family, every need was taken care of and for the first time I felt like the photographer I've always wanted to be. There wasn't a moment to complain or an event that was unpleasent.
Currently I'm woring on my biggest project ever - a book called Along For the Ride. (the title may change. . . who knows). I've got representation and everything lined up for the book to be published! Now I just have to put it together. It's a fun learning process and hopefully the start of something fundamental to my career.
This is a good time in my life. Just coming off an intense trip across the country and chilling out. Catching up, setting up, and starting up. The sun is shinning (literally) in my direction and I feel good and full of positive energy.
Peace,
-marc
Saturday, January 13, 2007
more...oh yeah, there's more.
How much of yourself do you put out on the internet? When did the real world start meshing with what's published online? When did the internet become a tangible thing through wireless internet on my bus to Google on my cell phone? The real world and the internet are crazy worlds to jump back and forth from. In real life your emotions are present, real, alive and in the moment. Online they're preserved forever. Whatever I write will be logged into some computer for annoymous readers that can go back and say on Friday, January 12th, 2007 Marc said and felt this. Crazy.
So what do I write?
I know I'm not the most important person on the planet. I get that. Finally. I know that my particular situation is not all that different or special from anyone else. I understand that I'm not breaking any new ground in photography or life. I'm not number 1.
Musicology by Prince is an amazing album and I've only heard the first song.
After people start telling you that your art is "good" you almost believe them. Almost. Then you start to think that everyone is lying to you. That they don't even know what good art is. But after a while you start to appreciate what people have to say. Every time someone says something nice you look in their eyes
I wish I was better with words. The other day we were in Boston and I had a surreal moment. Lucas, Michael and I were all walking around the entire downtown area and at one point we were in the middle of this really busy intersection outside all the massive tall buildings. There was crazy construction going on, traffic everywhere, people walking and an awesome city scape infront of us. We entered the wonderland like we were approaching a castle - with skyscrapers rising up everywhere around us. And there we were, the three of us in this crazy new town exploring like Curious George. I had my camera with me and that's where the surrealness came. Just being in a new place, a downtown urban environment like Downtown Boston, taking pictures that I felt like people were going to look forward to seeing. And I think I got it. I don't know how to put it in text but something clicked. (haha, get it? 'clicked'?) Just me, my camera, and my friends. That's why the pictures are "good", I think. Because the experiences and the stories that are behind them are so awesome.
I'm a lucky guy.
There's also some exciting news happening that I don't know if I want to bring to the "internet world" yet so come back sometime.
Peace y'all.
I appreciate
So what do I write?
I know I'm not the most important person on the planet. I get that. Finally. I know that my particular situation is not all that different or special from anyone else. I understand that I'm not breaking any new ground in photography or life. I'm not number 1.
Musicology by Prince is an amazing album and I've only heard the first song.
After people start telling you that your art is "good" you almost believe them. Almost. Then you start to think that everyone is lying to you. That they don't even know what good art is. But after a while you start to appreciate what people have to say. Every time someone says something nice you look in their eyes
I wish I was better with words. The other day we were in Boston and I had a surreal moment. Lucas, Michael and I were all walking around the entire downtown area and at one point we were in the middle of this really busy intersection outside all the massive tall buildings. There was crazy construction going on, traffic everywhere, people walking and an awesome city scape infront of us. We entered the wonderland like we were approaching a castle - with skyscrapers rising up everywhere around us. And there we were, the three of us in this crazy new town exploring like Curious George. I had my camera with me and that's where the surrealness came. Just being in a new place, a downtown urban environment like Downtown Boston, taking pictures that I felt like people were going to look forward to seeing. And I think I got it. I don't know how to put it in text but something clicked. (haha, get it? 'clicked'?) Just me, my camera, and my friends. That's why the pictures are "good", I think. Because the experiences and the stories that are behind them are so awesome.
I'm a lucky guy.
There's also some exciting news happening that I don't know if I want to bring to the "internet world" yet so come back sometime.
Peace y'all.
I appreciate
Wednesday, January 03, 2007
2007
Here's the new year's post. Are you ready for it? Can you handle it? Do you know what I'm going to say or will you be able to understand what I've said. Has it, will it, and can my words ever make sense to anyone else but me?
On a daily basis I wonder if I'm really a photographer. A real photographer. My style, if I even can claim a style, changes so drastically from one day to the next that I wonder if I'll always be a poor starving artist jumping from one project to another just barely "making it". And then I wonder too... is that's OK?
I mean, I love to shoot with my little point and shoot digital Canon Powershot that half the rest of world owns. I own a honkin' sweet professional Digital SLR but I hardly pull it out of it's bag. I switch the little setting on my camera to black and white mode occasionally even though most photographers will tell you that's the worst idea imaginable. I never use the flash, I let anyone "steal" my photos and I don't even know how to load a 35 mm camera. My shots are becoming more grainy and out of focus and candid than ever before. I'm breaking all the rules and not getting paid for it. My website's slackin', my fan base mostly centers around 15 year old girls thanks to High School Musical and I hate the stinkin' press. More people than ever have told me they love my work but I never believe them. What, where, and who am I in the photography world? A pioneer or a failure? A disillusioned hippie or an artistic genius? I have no idea.
Granted, I'm in the best position I've ever wanted to be in as a photographer - traveling around and seeing new things and trying to capture them but ... but ... something's not there ya know? Or maybe that missing whatever helps me be creative. I dunno. I'm not complaining, I'm not worried, and I'm not ever going to stop taking pictures; I just wanted to put my thoughts into words I guess.
So stick around. Apologies, but not so much, for a creative mind gone haywire. I don't know what I'll do, or what my next picture will look like, or even how I'll present it to you. But I appreciate you coming to my webpage . . . I've never had this large of an audience so many positive responses. So thank you.
Gotta go,
peace
-marc
On a daily basis I wonder if I'm really a photographer. A real photographer. My style, if I even can claim a style, changes so drastically from one day to the next that I wonder if I'll always be a poor starving artist jumping from one project to another just barely "making it". And then I wonder too... is that's OK?
I mean, I love to shoot with my little point and shoot digital Canon Powershot that half the rest of world owns. I own a honkin' sweet professional Digital SLR but I hardly pull it out of it's bag. I switch the little setting on my camera to black and white mode occasionally even though most photographers will tell you that's the worst idea imaginable. I never use the flash, I let anyone "steal" my photos and I don't even know how to load a 35 mm camera. My shots are becoming more grainy and out of focus and candid than ever before. I'm breaking all the rules and not getting paid for it. My website's slackin', my fan base mostly centers around 15 year old girls thanks to High School Musical and I hate the stinkin' press. More people than ever have told me they love my work but I never believe them. What, where, and who am I in the photography world? A pioneer or a failure? A disillusioned hippie or an artistic genius? I have no idea.
Granted, I'm in the best position I've ever wanted to be in as a photographer - traveling around and seeing new things and trying to capture them but ... but ... something's not there ya know? Or maybe that missing whatever helps me be creative. I dunno. I'm not complaining, I'm not worried, and I'm not ever going to stop taking pictures; I just wanted to put my thoughts into words I guess.
So stick around. Apologies, but not so much, for a creative mind gone haywire. I don't know what I'll do, or what my next picture will look like, or even how I'll present it to you. But I appreciate you coming to my webpage . . . I've never had this large of an audience so many positive responses. So thank you.
Gotta go,
peace
-marc
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