Marc Blackwell's Blog

Amidst the barbecues, sales and drinks I try to really think about what Memorial Day means.  I appreciate the courage our soldiers had/have when they go to war.  I appreciate the men and women who have lost their lives for what they saw as the most important thing.  I appreciate the families who have suffered by giving up time away from their loved ones, or who have lost a loved one.  My heart goes out to you all.  I remember the sacrifice.

But just a reminder to everyone reading, war does not have to exist.  War is man made and horrible.  We can be a world of peace.  It is possible.

I know I'm not the only one who thinks so.  IMAGINE PEACE.


Peace,
-marc

Just kidding...she's not a monster.  Yet.  :)  It's hard to believe that 8 months ago today Stacey was as big as a whale, and I shoved her in the car and drove over the hill to a Beverly Hills hospital where a one very beautiful baby girl was introduced to the world.

It's been an exciting 8 months!  A lot has happened!  Stacey was at home for while during pregnancy leave, but then went back to work.  Zoe has started eating baby food, she's crawling all over the place, her vocabulary and vocal pitch have changed, and she's even starting to stand up, but only for a few seconds at a time.
Stacey and I have gotten closer and have fallen more in love, thanks to time and this little bundle of joy.  Zoe and Stacey still stop traffic by their stunning good looks, and it's fun to be surrounded with so much happiness all the time.




Here's to the next 8 months!  :)  Thanks for reading and watching!

Peace,
-marc

Last night, around 8 o'clock after Stacey, Zoe and I got done eating we began the evening bedtime ritual.  It was a bath night, so we did the whole shabang.  Bath, lotion, playing, reading and then the crib.  It was just another night at the Blackwells, but very special in it's own right.  As I was sitting there with my girls, pleasant music playing, lights dimmed soft, everything was very quiet and calm.  I knew this was about to change.

Once the ladies were almost asleep I packed up my camera gear and headed down to good ole' Hollywood to photograph a band at the infmaous Whiskey A Go Go.  (You know, the place where the Doors were made famous, or whatever?)  Driving down the Sunset Strip, looking for a parking spot that didn't cost $15, and finally getting into the Go Go for free all started the crazy loud part of my evening.

There was a really cool band (Preach Unique & the Cloud 9 Empire) on before the band I came to photograph (Soma).  I snapped a few really cool pics of them, and got to meet and chat w/ the lead signer afterward.  Then Soma was on and they rocked the house.  This band blows my mind every time I see them.  It's not typical music I would enjoy, but live they put on such a killer show that I've started to get into their music.  Head banging, rock jam band is how I would describe them.

After the show we were standing around Sunset Blvd. and I was waiting to get paid when the band realized they had some how lost someone in their transportation and needed a lift.  I offered our SUV and we crammed drums, amps and guitars all around the stroller and car seat.  :)  I drove to one of the band member's home and dropped off the stuff, had a beer, hung out with the guys and headed home.

It was a great evening.  One I really appreciate.  My wife is super cool letting me go out on weeknights, even if I am working.  I hope for many more like these.

My eyes are blurry.  Tears gently fall down my face.  I don't know how long this crying period will last.  They usually don't last long.  Just long enough for my emotions to surface and then life sweeps me away again.

Death is a funny thing.  And you think we would be more accustomed to it, being that it happens alllll the time.  But maybe it's just as strong as birth, in the opposite sense, that we'll never be used to it. 

The joy you feel, the happiness you experience, and the love that floods your soul when you experience the birth of a loved one is stronger than anything.  Stronger than the sadness, hopelessness and despair when a loved one passes away.  But both feelings are probably the most intense emotions I've experienced.

A friend died a few days ago.  We don't know how yet, or, I don't at least.  And people are still writing on his Facebook page.  "We'll miss you",  "...Was loved and will be missed", someone even posted their favorite memories.  I get it - but I don't get it.  Maybe I like to grieve in silence, alone. 

Damnit .... my eyes are filling up again.  Why does this happen?  I ask not in a "why, I don't understand" but in a "why does it hurt so bad" kinda way.  I get it, people have to die in order for more people to be born.  But does it hafta be so dramatic?

I don't really know what else to say.  The circle of life continues to shake me around like a little rag doll and not explain itself.  Maybe one day I'll figure everything out.  And then I'll be dead. 

Peace,
-marc

I sign every e-mail the same way.

Peace,
-marc

It's how you know it's from me.  I like to think that by adding a simple positive word, such as "peace" into every e-mail adds just a little bit more change to the world.

I mean, think of how many e-mails I send!

Peace,
-marc

A year ago tomorrow I was the luckiest man in the world.  Today, I still hold that title.  I took the girl of my dreams and changed her name.  I told her, and the world, that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her and only her.  A year later, a baby later, a whole helluva lot later, we've made it! 

Everyone says the first year is the hardest.  And I won't deny that, but I think it's also the best.  (Even though I think next year will be better, and the year after that, and after that ... )  :)  Stacey and I have gotten closer than anyone I've ever  connected with.  She is my best friend.  She is my rock.  She makes me the man I am.  She makes me a better person.  When I'm weak, she is strong and vise versa.

Stacey also has risen to hold the title "Best Mom In The World".  And it's a crazy title to be given by a Blackwell.  5 years ago I was shaving my head, taking pictures of flowers, and sending my mom all sorts of goofy stuff to tell her how much I appreciated her on Mother's Day.  5 years ago I had a mom.  Today, I have a mother of my child.  The circle of life continues to amaze me.  A life is extinguished and another life is lit.  Without Stacey, without Zoe, my life and heart would have an empty hole that my mother had always filled with love.  Stacey has stepped up, in honor of Marcia, to fill that spot and shower me with unconditional love. 


My late mother and my wife would've been besties, I'm convinced.  They would've been able to sit around a kitchen table, sipping tea and laughing about all the Blackwell boys.  I could go on ... but it's best not to dwell in the past.


Here's to the best wife I have ever had.  :)  I love you Stacey Nicole Blackwell.  You are my best friend. 

Here's to the best mom that I know!  Zoe and I love everything you do for us, and we will always be trying to show you how much we love you. 



Mush!
Peace,
-marc