Wednesday, November 9, 2011
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
Lost Mojo
I realized lately that I had lost my mojo to blog and to read. It saddened me when I realized this yet had no reason behind why I had lost my mojo. I am working on getting it back, getting bits and pieces of me back that lack of sleep had taken over. Each week I will get some time to just do me, no one else, no house work, no children, no wifey duties. I am excited and looking forward to regaining my sanity.
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
4 Years
But whose counting...
Yes we are approaching the 4th year, August is a bittersweet month for me. I get to celebrate another year that my daughter is alive and then two days later get to celebrate another year that he is not with us. I must say so far I think I am doing ok. It's tricky, to feel happiness one day, pushing myself through a day that should be so special to only dread the days to come. I wish her birthday could be just that, her birthday, with nothing else attached to it. I know that she has adjusted to our new life, but I know that there are times that she can not help but wonder about her daddy.
The other day we were in the car with one of her cousins, on the way to the fair and he was talking about his 2 dads, and as i am listening she then chimes in so proudly and says I have 2 dads too. Unsure of what she was going to say next my heart dropped, assuming she was going to go into the story, but no she changed the subject and was excited she could see the fair approaching. What I was amazed about was her tone, she was so confident and excited to say she had 2 dads, there was no sadness in her voice. It was another one of those moments that I then knew I have done all I can to do right by her. To keep his memory alive, while having some one in her life to build her self esteem, to teach her a daddies love.
There is not a day that goes by that I do not wonder what my life would be like if he was still alive, how he would be with her, how she would be with him. There is not a day that goes by that he is not in my thoughts at some point. It's hard for me to hate the month of August, as much as I wish I could. As the day approaches I will be forced to deal with feelings that I work so hard to put on the back burner, I will be forced to relive that day/night, what followed, the emotions, or lack of. UGHHHHHHHH so not looking forward to it.
Recent Strike
Most people have the misconception that stay at home moms should be superwomen and clean, cook, take care of the children...etc...I recently had to go on strike due to the lack of support in my home. I have given up quite a bit to be a stay at home mom, most importantly my sanity. Every day is different depending on how much sleep the baby allows me to get the night before. I know deep down I am on the right path, and after many discussions know that we both want the same thing. I was on strike for 2 days, had much needed alone time, shed some much needed tears, and realized that I slowly had been losing myself and the things I stood for, slowly was becoming resentful to the man I once loved so much. Realized that as much as I have changed there are still things that I need to work on for myself. Realized I had lost my mojo for many things that used to make me happy. Realized that I have many friends and even if I do not talk to them on a daily I can count on them to be there, to make me laugh, give advice, or just listen. For that I am truly blessed. I am blessed to be able to see what needs to be fixed, blessed to have a man that loves me unconditionally, blessed to have some one in my life as committed as he is. I know neither one of us are perfect, but the love is everlasting.
The hardest part is just making sure the whole house gets on the same page when it comes to chores around here. I am not the only adult living here so there is no reason why it should all fall on my plate. I have also made it a point to not be in the middle of bickering, I will not take sides, and I will not get involved, and if it continues then I will have to make a decision and it wont be pretty for both people involved, I will not choose! It is unfair that I am even put in the position to feel as if I need to choose. The power struggle ends here or changes will be made.
Thursday, June 9, 2011
Kindergarden Graduation
The day has come, it has come way faster then I had anticipated. I have watched her grow inellectually, truly go from not knowing certain things to knowing them and confidently. I have watched her drawing evolve, so much so that she got 1st place in the art festival. I was able to assist in the class and watch her as she learned, helped her with spelling words and was able to see how she learns best.
Today it hit me.....hit me pretty hard....Tomorrow is a major milestone, and all I can do is wonder what it would be like if he was still alive!
Saturday, June 4, 2011
31
Turning 31 was interesting, between being a new sleep deprived mommy and the weather I was really unsure of what I wanted to do, and if I even wanted to do anything. At the last minute the day before my bday I set up dinner at La Fondue and then decided to head down town to see a live band. They play from 9-11pm and I fugured hey I would be up that late anyways. I had a great turn out with some of my friends and we had a blast making new memories and catching up. The day of my birthday consisted of presents, inspirational cards, laughter, joy. It was exactly what I needed. Both low key and with people that I love and that love me. I could not have asked for a better birthday.
Emergency whaaaaatttt?
So I have been busy making a baby, and giving birth to a baby, being a mommy to a 5 year old and a 18 year old lol. Needless to say May 2 was my due date and May 3rd I had scheduled the induction. I was ready to be over and have my son with me in person vs in my belly. We had to be at the hospital at 4 am and that in no way discouraged me from wanting to be induced. We got there on time, got all set up and just waited for everything to start taking its course. It was a very long process that is for sure and all day had almost come and gone, but there was a bigger plan and I had no control over it, which scared me even more. Making a long story short I made it to 8cm and with each contraction as he would descend his umbilical cord would pull him back therefor choking him. His heart rate was dropping and he was no longer tolerating labor. The Dr. came in and did a internal check, asked me to push realized I couldn't and said we need to go in for a emergency C-section...exactly what I did not want, being the only surviving parent for my daughter I began to panic. I was not prepared mentally for something to possibly go wrong with me or the baby, the baby she had been waiting to patiently and beyond excited for. I had to change my frame of mind from panic mode to everything will be ok mode, and really fast. Every one in the room started scrambling, nurses, the doctor, etc. We got into the or and things continued to go at a rapid pace. They were finally all set up and let Jess come into the room. We both were scared yet did not want to tell each other especially as we could hear the doctor and his team talking and by what they were saying it was obvious something was wrong, but we could not see. Needless to say this is when they found out the umbilical cord was around his neck, and they had to use the vaccuum still to get him out. It took what felt like a really long time to hear him cry but when he did boy were we filled with relief, this is when we knew everything was really going to be ok. This is when I knew I would not have to explain to Pook about death, yet again. I was beyond thankful, to this day am beyond thankful. At 8:45 pm we had our healthy baby boy weighing 8lbs 1oz and 21 inches long.
Monday, May 30, 2011
Monday, May 9, 2011
Forgiven
Wow..one day after getting home from the hospital I receive a call from my dad...yes you read right my dad. I haven't talked to him in quite some time, I guess word had gotten to him that I gave birth and he actually called to say congrats and that he would try to stop by the next day to see him. What I am in wow about is that when I saw his name come on my phone screen i did not cringe, I was shocked and answered as if no time had lapsed, at the end of the conversation I knew he may not come the next day, but I am ok with that. and I am ok with the fact that he is not regularly in my life yet realized it was an important enough moment to call and say congrats, and that he felt comfortable enough to actually do so. I can now say I have truly forgiven him and have accepted the relationship for exactly what it is. I truly have come a long way with that relationship, and am damn proud of myself.
Monday, April 25, 2011
Friday, April 22, 2011
Thursday, April 21, 2011
Monday, April 18, 2011
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
Friendships
Can be complex...If I would have counted on every person who said (after Josiah's death) anything you need I will be here, or I will never leave your side you can always count on me, I would have been majorly disappointed. Thankfully Iw as taught better then that and thankfully I am a realistic person. I knew the day would come that my house would be empty and quiet, I knew the day would come that even my closest friends would find comfort in not being so close to me anymore. I knew the day would come that those I never thought would stick around would still be here...In the last 3.5 years a lot has changed, and with that change some was good and some not so good. I believe change is still happening as I am typing this blog right now. I am not sure what drives the change in a friendship, if its the reality of my life, if its a slight amount of envy, if it just truly time to hang up the towel on that friendship. But I know that previous excuses no longer hold clout. Either way I find history repeating itself and I am unsure of how to handle it. I will be honest I had expectations even though I shouldn't have, I had the oh I will be proved wrong I am sure it was just a bad day....well I am still waiting and coming closer to the conclusion that the towel is in need of being hung up. Or I just accept that we will never be that close again and take the friendship for what it is and nothing more, and be ok with that. Sometimes I wonder if its even what I want and miss or if its just because of the history that I can't seem to let go. Either way somethings gotta give at some point right.
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
Monday, February 28, 2011
A day in my shoes
We have not been there in a long time...so long I can't even remember when the last time we were there....I wanna say it may have been his anniversary...we never went and put up his xmas tree due to Pook catching bronchitis, and the weather being crappy....regardless of how long it has been does not mean he has been forgotten...we just realize that we do not have to go there to keep his memory alive, to honor him. He is still talked about just as much and maybe even missed more then the day he passed. I like to believe that I am doing right by our daughter...she knows all she has to do is say "I wanna go to daddies tombstone" and we stop everything and go. I like to believe that I am raising a well rounded child that knows she has a daddy in Heaven and a Papi here to hug her and love her when in need. She knows they play two different roles in her life, but knows that she can count on both to always be by her side. Yesterday she woke up with her daddy on the brain, telling me she missed him, when we went to the store she asked if she could buy a balloon, and I told her no and jokingly told her she cost me too much money when we are out and about, well I had cut her off so she was like that was mean Daddy Joe is in Heaven. Little did I know she was asking to buy a balloon to take to the tombstone, I then apologized and told her of course we can get him a balloon, pick one and we will take it when you get out of school tomorrow.
So tomorrow is today, and that was the first stop we made (cut kinda short by her having to go potty). she placed the balloon where she wanted it and then asked if I brought my camera. I pulled out my phone and said got it right here, here are the pics produced from this one special moment with our daughter.
What I love about each picture is that it truly captures how well adjusted she is. I have done right by her and these pictures reiterate that in many ways. When she thinks of death she is hardly saddened, yet realizes it is a part of life that one day we will all have to face. She is truly happy and to me that is ALL that matters at the end of the day, so for those judging, judge on!!!!
Thursday, February 24, 2011
Monday, February 21, 2011
My Wish
I only can wish that this marriage will last past this........
Can't wait to grow old with him....
"Ninety to ninety-five percent of people will withdraw to the comfort zone when what they try doesn't work. Only that small percentage, 5 or 10 percent, will continually improve themselves; they will continually push themselves out into the zone of discomfort, and these are always the highest performers in every field."
~Brian Tracy
"Live life fully while you're here. Experience everything. Take care of yourself and your friends. Have fun, be crazy, be weird. Go out and screw up! You're going to anyway, so you might as well enjoy the process. Take the opportunity to learn from your mistakes: find the cause of your problem and eliminate it. Don't try to be perfect; just be an excellent example of being human."
~Tony Robbins
"There is nothing for you to go back and live over, or fix, or feel regret about now. Every part of your life has unfolded just right. And so - now - knowing all that you know from where you now stand, now what do you want? The answers are now coming forth to you. Go forth in joy, and get on with it."
- Esther Hicks
Saturday, February 19, 2011
Judgement Day
I always find it amazing that the people casting most judgement tend to be those that are faithful church goers, and live life in a Christ like manner. Now of course I am not speaking about every one, however I can think of at least 5 people in my life that are regular church goers, practice, breathe and live the word that have and continue to past judgement on me and the choices I have made in my life. Choices such as dating a new man, getting re married, getting pregnant from some one other than Josiah. At first I was extremely bothered by this, it's a unfair judgement placed on me, I moved to fast etc.. regardless of how fast I moved or how slow I moved nothing I did or do will ever bring Josiah back. Now, when I hear of such judgement I laugh it off, because I have come to the realization that it is them that is unhappy with their lives and their choices. It is them with the issues of moving past Josiah's death, although they should be the ones with the most faith that they will one day be reunited with him. My Judgement day will come, just like every one else's, and then and only then will it matter what someone says. No one is living in my shoes, I have and will continue to do the best for me and my children, regardless of what people think.
The Cab Ride
The
Cab Ride
Cab Ride
I arrived at the address and honked the horn.
after waiting a few minutes
I walked to the
door and knocked... 'Just a minute', answered a
frail, elderly voice. I could hear something
being dragged across the floor.
After
a long pause, the door opened. A small woman in
her 90's stood before me. She was wearing a
print dress and a pillbox hat with a veil pinned
on it, like somebody out of a 1940's
movie.
By her side was a small nylon
suitcase. The apartment looked as if no one had
lived in it for years. All the furniture was
covered with sheets.
There were no
clocks on the walls, no knickknacks or utensils
on the counters. In the corner was a cardboard
box filled with photos and
glassware.
'Would you carry my bag
out to the car?' she said. I took the suitcase
to the cab, then returned to assist the
woman.
She took my arm and we walked
slowly toward the curb.
She kept
thanking me for my kindness. 'It's nothing', I
told her.. 'I just try to treat my passengers
the way I would want my mother to be
treated.'
'Oh, you're such a good
boy, she said. When we got in the cab, she gave
me an address and then asked, 'Could you drive
through downtown?'
'It's not the
shortest way,' I answered
quickly..
'Oh, I don't mind,' she
said. 'I'm in no hurry. I'm on my way to a
hospice.
I looked in the rear-view
mirror. Her eyes were glistening. 'I don't have
any family left,' she continued in a soft
voice.. 'The doctor says I don't have very
long.' I quietly reached over and shut off the
meter.
'What route would you like me
to take?' I asked.
For the next two
hours, we drove through the city. She showed me
the building where she had once worked as an
elevator operator.
We drove through the
neighborhood where she and her husband had lived
when they were newlyweds She had me pull up in
front of a furniture warehouse that had once
been a ballroom where she had gone dancing as a
girl.
Sometimes she'd ask me to slow
in front of a particular building or corner and
would sit staring into the darkness, saying
nothing.
As the first hint of sun was
creasing the horizon, she suddenly said, 'I'm
tired. Let's go now'.
We drove in
silence to the address she had given me. It was
a low building, like a small convalescent home,
with a driveway that passed under a
portico.
Two orderlies came out to
the cab as soon as we pulled up. They were
Ssolicitous and intent, watching her every move.
They must have been expecting her.
I
opened the trunk and took the small suitcase to
the door. The woman was already seated in a
wheelchair.
'How much do I owe you?'
She asked, reaching into her
purse.
'Nothing,' I
said
'You have to make a living,' she
answered.
'There are other
passengers,' I responded.
Almost
without thinking, I bent and gave her a hug. She
held onto me tightly.
'You gave an
old woman a little moment of joy,' she
said.
'Thank you.'
I squeezed her
hand, and then walked into the dim morning
light.. Behind me, a door shut. It was the sound
of the closing of a life...
I didn't
pick up any more passengers that shift. I drove
aimlessly lost in thought. For the rest of that
day, I could hardly talk. What if that woman had
gotten an angry driver, or one who was impatient
to end his shift?
What
if I had refused to take the run, or had honked
once, then driven away?
On a quick
review, I don't think that I have done anything
more important in my life.
We're
conditioned to think that our lives revolve
around great moments.
But great
moments often catch us unaware-beautifully
wrapped in what others may consider a small
one.
PEOPLE MAY NOT REMEMBER EXACTLY
WHAT YOU DID, OR WHAT YOU SAID ~BUT~THEY WILL
ALWAYS REMEMBER HOW YOU MADE THEM
FEEL.
Saturday, February 12, 2011
The Awakening
There comes a time in your life when you finally get it... When in the midst of all your fears and insanity you stop dead in your tracks and somewhere the voice inside your head cries out - ENOUGH! Enough fighting and crying or struggling to hold on. And, like a child quieting down after a blind tantrum, your sobs begin to subside, you shudder once or twice, you blink back your tears and through a mantle of wet lashes you begin to look at the world from a new perspective. This is your awakening.
You realize that it is time to stop hoping and waiting for something, or someone, to change or for happiness, safety and security to come galloping over the next horizon. You come to terms with the fact that there aren’t always fairytale endings (or beginnings for that matter) and that any guarantee of "happily ever after" must begin with you. Then a sense of serenity is born of acceptance.
So you begin making your way through the “reality of today” rather than holding out for the “promise of tomorrow.” You realize that much of who you are, and the way you navigate through life is, in great part, a result of all the social conditioning you’ve received over the course of a lifetime. And you begin to sift through all the nonsense you were taught about:
You realize that it is time to stop hoping and waiting for something, or someone, to change or for happiness, safety and security to come galloping over the next horizon. You come to terms with the fact that there aren’t always fairytale endings (or beginnings for that matter) and that any guarantee of "happily ever after" must begin with you. Then a sense of serenity is born of acceptance.
So you begin making your way through the “reality of today” rather than holding out for the “promise of tomorrow.” You realize that much of who you are, and the way you navigate through life is, in great part, a result of all the social conditioning you’ve received over the course of a lifetime. And you begin to sift through all the nonsense you were taught about:
- how you should look and how much you should weigh
- what you should wear and where you should shop
- where you should live or what type of car your should drive
- who you should sleep with and how you should behave
- who you should marry and why you should stay
- the importance of having children or what you owe your family
You accept the fact that you are not perfect and that not everyone will love, appreciate or approve of who or what you are... and that’s OK... they are entitled to their own views and opinions. And, you come to terms with the fact that you will never be a size 5 or a “perfect 10” Or a perfect human being for that matter. So you stop trying to compete with the image inside your head or agonizing over how you compare. And you take a long look at yourself in the mirror and you make a promise to give yourself the same unconditional love and support you give so freely to others. Then a sense of confidence is born of self-approval.
And, you stop maneuvering through life merely as a “consumer” hungry for your next fix, a new dress, another pair of shoes or looks of approval and admiration from family, friends or even strangers who pass by. Then you discover that “it is truly in giving that we receive and that the joy and abundance you seek grows out of the giving. And you recognize the importance of “creating” & “contributing” rather than “obtaining” & “accumulating.”
And you give thanks for the simple things you’ve been blessed with; things that millions of people upon the face of the earth can only dream about a full refrigerator, clean running water, a soft warm bed and the freedom to pursue your own dreams.
And then you begin to love and to care for yourself. You stop engaging in self-destructive behaviors including participating in dysfunctional relationships. You begin eating a balanced diet, drinking more water and exercising. And because you’ve learned that fatigue drains the spirit and creates doubt and fear, you give yourself permission to rest. And just as food is fuel for the body, laughter is fuel for the spirit and so you make it a point to create time for play.
Then you learn about love and relationships, how to love, how much to give in love, when to stop giving and when to walk away. And you allow only the hands of a lover who truly loves and respects you to glorify you with his touch. You learn that people don’t always say what they mean or mean what they say, intentionally or unintentionally and that not everyone will always come through and interestingly enough, it’s not always about you. So, you stop lashing out and pointing fingers or looking to place blame for the things that were done to you or weren’t done for you. And you learn to keep your Ego in check and to acknowledge and redirect the destructive emotions it spawns; anger, jealousy and resentment.
You learn how to say I was wrong and to forgive people for their own human frailties. You learn to build bridges instead of walls and about the healing power of love as it is expressed through a kind word, a warm smile or a friendly gesture. And, at the same time, you eliminate any relationships that are hurtful or fail to uplift and edify you. You stop working so hard at smoothing things over and setting your needs aside. You learn that feelings of entitlement are perfectly OK and that it is your right to want or expect certain things. And you learn the importance of communicating your needs with confidence and grace. You learn that the only cross to bear is the one you choose to carry and that eventually martyrs are burned at the stake. Then you learn to distinguish between guilt, and responsibility and the importance of setting boundaries and learning to say NO. You learn that you don’t know all the answers, it’s not your job to save the world and that sometimes you just need to Let Go.
Moreover, you learn to look at people as they really are and not as you would want them to be, and you are careful not to project your neediness or insecurities onto a relationship. You learn that you will not be, more beautiful, more intelligent, more lovable or important because of the man on your arm or the child that bears your name. You learn that just as people grow and change, so it is with love and relationships and that that not everyone can always love you the way you would want them to. So you stop appraising your worth by the measure of love you are given. And suddenly you realize that it’s wrong to demand that someone live their life or sacrifice their dreams just to serve your needs, ease your insecurities, or meet “your” standards and expectations. You learn that the only love worth giving and receiving is the love that is given freely without conditions or limitations. And you learn what it means to love. So you stop trying to control people, situations and outcomes. You learn that “alone” does not mean “lonely” and you begin to discover the joy of spending time “with yourself” and “on yourself.” Then you discover the greatest and most fulfilling love you will ever know. Self Love. And so, it comes to pass that through understanding your heart heals; and now all new things are possible.
Moving along, you begin to avoid Toxic people and conversations. And you stop wasting time and energy rehashing your situation with family and friends. You learn that talk doesn’t change things and that unrequited wishes can only serve to keep you trapped in the past. So, you stop lamenting over what could or should have been and you make a decision to leave the past behind. Then you begin to invest your time and energy to affect positive change. You take a personal inventory of all your strengths and weaknesses and the areas you need to improve in order to move ahead. You set your goals and map out a plan of action to see things through.
You learn that life isn’t always fair and you don’t always get what you think you deserve and you stop personalizing every loss or disappointment. You learn to accept that sometimes bad things happen to good people and that these things are not an act of God... but merely a random act of fate.
And you stop looking for guarantees because you’ve learned that the only thing you can really count on is the unexpected and that whatever happens, you’ll learn to deal with it. And you learn that the only thing you must truly fear is the great robber baron of all time FEAR itself. So you learn to step right into and through your fears because to give into fear is to give away the right to live life on your terms. You learn that much of life truly is a self-fulfilling prophesy and you learn to go after what you want and not to squander your life living under a cloud of indecision or feelings of impending doom.
Then, YOU LEARN ABOUT MONEY... the personal power and independence it brings and the options it creates. And you recognize the necessity to create your own personal wealth. Slowly, you begin to take responsibility for yourself by yourself and you make yourself a promise to never betray yourself and to never ever settle for less than your heart’s desire. Then a sense of power is born of self-reliance. And you live with honor and integrity because you know that these principles are not the outdated ideals of a by-gone era but the mortar that holds together the foundation upon which you must build your life. And you make it a point to keep smiling, to keep trusting and to stay open to every wonderful opportunity and exciting possibility. Then you hang a wind chime outside your window to remind yourself what beauty there is in Simplicity.
Finally, with courage in your heart and with God by your side you take a stand, you TAKE a deep breath and you begin to design the life you want to live as best as you can.
By Sonny Carroll
Thursday, January 20, 2011
Another year with out him
Yes today would have marked our 11 year wedding anniversary. Last year I had told myself that would be the last year I was going to celebrate without him, so as the day approached being that i had not been making plans it kinda went unseen. Last night I cried...a cry that I have not cried in a really long time, the trigger was Jess cutting his hair and waking me up at 1:40am, now don't get me wrong normally you wake me and I am not the happiest camper, however to sob about it is not me. As was crying I even sad great now I can't stop and I don't even know why. well I finally cried myself to sleep, woke up in a not so great mood, and as I type I am still in a funk. I get to work and have to write the date and then it all comes together.
What amazes me most is that no matter how much I may try to block out dates that should no longer be of importance such as a wedding anniversary of someone who has not been here for over 3 years my inner being will not allow it, and it takes me through a emotional roller coaster. As most of my readers probably know I have to be in control (mostly of my feelings), and at times when I am not in control of my feelings it throws me for a loop, a loop that I have not prepared myself for mentally, emotionally.
Needless to say I was not prepared for today, and as I continue to type I have to constantly fight back the tears. As much as it hurts I am thankful that my inner being will not allow me to forget something as great as the marriage that we shared. He made me the woman I am today, and if it was not for everything we went through I would definitely not be the wife I am today. I miss him, more than I have let myself believe and feel for a while now.
To my dearest Josiah,
I am beyond thankful for the years I got to spend with you, the many memories that we made, for the precious, yet crazy ass daughter you gave me. I love you now as I loved you then, you will always be a part of my life no matter how many years pass.
Love always,
Your Wifey.
Thursday, January 6, 2011
The end....and the beginning
I have not written in a while, not because I do not have much to say, but more so because I have had trouble gathering my thoughts in a way that they could be written down. 2011 approached faster than I was ready for emotionally and I did not realize that til after it hit. It has been 3 years since Josiah has passed away and it is amazing that no matter what when the holidays hit my fingers are raw. If you know me you know what that means. I do not realize it til after of course when I have hit such rawness that all I can do is shake off the pain and sit back and reflect on what has me so high strung, and then the light bulb goes on...I am not sure why I push through my feelings, I am a realistic person, and know that I will eventually have to deal with my feelings regardless of how long I can keep them on the back burner. So after a slight break down and hating 2011 two days into it...I realize that I am beyond blessed in many ways and need to work on talking more.
As for what was accomplished in 2010 without going into major detail, all I can say is that I am happy with how I have grown and although I have more growing to do I am truly happy with where I am at in life, regardless of the financial struggles we are facing, I am loved, healthy, waiting on baby #2, have a great man by my side etc.
2011 will be a year that I am walking in blindly too, no resolutions just going to live life, checking myself according to the way that I want to live. Leaving negativity and all negative people behind. Focusing on me and my lil fam bam, cherishing every moment spent with my true friends. Can't wait to see what 2011 has in store.
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