I had a terrible time Saturday night. I got thinking about my mom, why didn't she try harder to talk me out of adoption? I don't know that answer to that, and really I wonder if I want to know the answer. We have both been through so much pain in our lives. Too much really. Would talking about this do any good, or change anything? I don't think so. I think all it will do is make mom and I revisit something that I really don't want to revisit right now. Maybe in the future I will be strong enough to talk to her about it, right now I am not. I know K, thinks I should talk to her, so do many other people. I also know they are right, that I should talk to her, but I also know that for right now, it is not the right time for me. Maybe when I am in Florida and can talk to her face to face, I know talking on the phone, for me would be not such a good way to have this particular conversation. I have to think about it some more before I can make that decision..
Probably more later... Oh hell I know there will be more later, but right now I have to go to work.. Blarg, don't wanna go, but I do need the $$$$
