Matt, Jacki, and Trevor

Tuesday October 20th I had a Dr. Appt and nothing had progressed and I was sick. In fact I had to get a sub to work for me that day. I was not happy about using a sick day for an actual sickness because I wanted to spend it on days being with Trevor. I guess when you have a fever that is what you need to do. The Dr. gave me a whole lot of medication to help me get better faster. Well that night I went to bed doped up on drugs. At 4:30 in the morning I woke up to a whole lot of pain and a weird sensation of wetting the bed. Yep I had broken my water and I was having some major contractions. After a bit of waiting not sure what to do and timing my contractions, they were all over the place by the way no consistency, I made Matt call the hospital and they told us to come in and they would check me. If it was nothing they would send us home. By the time we get there I had already gone through two contractions. We get out of the car and start to go in to the hospital and I start having another contraction. I am standing in the parking lot in writhing pain. A nurse sees me and went in and got a wheelchair for me. We check in and they take me into the same room that I had been in four weeks previously when I was having problems. It ended up being the same nurse who helped us last time too. She is great! By the time I got into the hospital I was dialated to a 2 and a half and I was begging for my epidural. They greatfully agreed and in came the guy to do the job. I warned him that I had scoliosis and that it might be hard to do. Well I was right it took him three tries to get the epidural in and it wasn't fun, but I would do it again if it meant not having to feel another contraction. That is worse. Well about an hour went by and I was feeling a whole lot better with the drugs. Mom showed up shortly after and we visited for about an hour when the nurse came in to check me again and within those two and a half hours I had dialated to a 5. I was moving very quickly so they decided that it may be time to get things ready for the delivery. Something was wrong though, the nurse couldnt feel his head when she was checking me so she went and got an ultrasound machine and sure enough he had switched directions and was now breach. When I found out that I was going to have to have a C-section I completely lost control. It scared me to death that I was going to have my stomach cut into and I had to be awake for it. Just what I wanted was another surgery and scar. I was scared and Matt gave me a blessing, we went into the surgical room within 15 min. of finding out that we were doing a C-section. They numbed my body so that I only could feel from my armpits to my head. The Dr. cut me open and within 20 min. I was a mommy, the worst part was though I was so tired I fell asleep before I could really meet my little one. I woke up in the recovery room with no one but the nurse by my side. Of course I wanted my baby and Matt. They were soon by my side and I got to look at my boy for the first time. What a precious little person that could have only been with God moments before. Those eyes are so innocent and sweet. You can't help but fall in love with him. It has been three and a half weeks now that he has come to my life and I never knew I could love something so much. Recovery went slowler than I expected and I think part of it is because I was sick before the delivery, but I healed with time and I was able to have a reason to take life slowly so that I could just sit back and enjoy my little guy. While at the hospital, visitors rules were different than normal due to the increase in H1N1 sickness. All that was allowed in my room for the three days spent at the hospital were Matt and my mom. Everyone else was only able to go to the waiting room window and see Trevor from there. Being so emotional at that time it was a very hard thing for me to not let my dad or sister be able to hold him. I know how excited I was to see my neice when she was born so that was hard to go through. However, it did give Matt and I the time we needed to bond with Trevor and not be bothered by others. That was what I had to think at that time any way.

As far as the new life of being home goes, it is quite a bit of work. Being able to come and go as I pleased before Trevor was here was so much easier. I now think things through a little more and decide if it is worth going out. Besides he is exposed to the sickness the more we go out. I get a bit antsy though because I am home so much and want to get out and see some of the life going on around me.

Something else I didn't expect is how much work breast feeding is. I am needed all the time and sleep is only thought about it seems. I am not sure how well it is going to go once I am back to work but we will give it a try. I love being able to look at him and hold him and know that only I can relieve his hunger.

I am excited for the future and will love watching him grow and get to know his personality. What an adventure we have ahead of us.

I captured this somehow. He doesn't do it for long and it isn't when you think it will be.