This morning, we got up about our usual time and there was NO activity at the bird feeders nor a squirrel in sight. Normally by around 7:00, they're out and about and with it 0 degrees out I knew the birds would be looking for the food and fresh water I put out when I first get up.

 

I think I"m a regular source of entertainment for the neighbors.

 “The only easy day was yesterday.” – Navy SEALS

For although I'm well aware that not all illness and disability is visible, it would appear that at least some of the scooter drivers were simply too overweight to walk about the store, driving and filling up the basket with frozen pizzas, fried chicken, mayo laden salads and soda pop before they scooted out of the store.

At that moment I heard words my Dad always told me - you quit moving you die.

Even into his 90's - and in declining mobility, every morning Dad would ride his exercise bike and do stretching exercises with his exercise ball, followed by 3 reps of weight workouts. He'd had a stroke - he'd had cancer - I truly believe the only reason he lived until almost age 102 was that he got up every morning committed to MOVE. The firearm by the door has been replaced by a baseball bat (he got to the point he couldn't safely handle a weapon after the stroke) and I would NOT want to be on the receiving end of that if Dad, a career military police officer, went to protect and defend.  It took him a Great War, the loss of a baby, and the loss of two wives to fully realize the taste and savor of peace and he was not going to give it up easily and he did all he could to make sure he was as capable as he could be.
Because it's about more than the ability to navigate a store without help. It's about more than your health - the extra weight taking a toll on more than your joints.   It's about more than being a smaller size.

So when my trainer got married and moved, and after a year during COVID battling NOT COVID but MRSA that ran amock because I couldn't get in to see a doctor because of COVID, ending in a week in ICU with Sepsis that tried to kill me, I found myself back at ground zero fitness wise.  Actually, I was several feet in the ground fitness-wise after the stint in ICU.  So I hired another trainer, Ben, the son of an author friend who makes his living whipping people into shape.  And back into the routine of weights and cardio, we went. We didn't just do fitness we tweaked my diet a bit,  I'd already quit drinking alcohol but we added protein, eliminated sodas, and added lots of fresh water. 

It's not about being "thin" it's about having the ability to move to save your life there at that moment when you spot danger and your heart stills, emptying out of all but courage and what you are capable of. It's that moment when you know fear.

Fear can come when least expected. It can be flat eyes that catch yours from a darkened stand of trees, the next house too far away. It can be the portent of a funnel cloud when shelter is many yards away and seconds are all you have. It can be the sound of breaking glass from the front of your home. It can be working out in a place fit only for serpents and snakes, closure not always involving dry flat land, and hearing that sound, one you'll never forget, like the splash of hands on the water.  You look at the water too close to you and there's nothing to see but the fluid gleams of reflected stars that suddenly scurried and vanished and you realize, even as you signal the backup LEO's with weapons, that the blood has attracted a gator
That's fear, and when you've known it, it's a long time before you are restored of it, laying awake at night, the feeling in your lungs like cement, solidifying as shattered echoes of those moments drum in your ears.

I'm not going to get into the use of weapons to save your life, as anyone that reads here knows my stance on that, and anyone that makes the mistake of kicking in my front door is going to find that the laser dot that blossoms on their forehead IS the universal language of NO.

But there are times you might be where you don't have a firearm or are not yet comfortable with one. I avoid "gun-free zones" like the plague, but what about schools, certain workplaces - post offices, etc?. Or what if someone is lying in wait and you are physically grabbed before you can draw (you will be amazed how quickly someone can close 4-6 feet in the dark).
You have to be strong enough to fight or get a good poke in the eye or throat with a set of car keys and run (that Gerber tool is gonna hurt).

You can't do that if you are both out of shape and afraid.

I was a volunteer at a family violence center for many years. Those of you who have read my book "Saving Grace" know why.   It's not necessarily a pleasant task at times, but one that needs to be done, by those that care or who have seen it firsthand. That type of violence doesn't just happen to the poor, the uneducated the needy. We see women from all walks of life in there that just share one thing in common, they have been scared for so long that they just get used to being that way. Sometimes you'd just find them in their room in the warm and cozy shelter home, in the dark. You can feel people in a dark room. You don't need to see them. Sometimes they're just asleep, catching up on that precious commodity, sleep where you know someone who cares is watching over your safety.
They don't sleep well, for years, violence going to bed with them each night, often drunk, normally angry. They'd lay there in the bed, trying not to move, trying to make themselves smaller and smaller so as not to be noticed. Trying not to breathe for when they breathed they could hear them, hear that dark mass of anger sizing them up for what is only one person's idea of fun or a fight. They could feel the blood in their veins, the little involuntary twitch at the corner of their eye as they're shut tighter and tighter as if by doing so you will not see what you know is coming. It takes a long time to sleep well after that.

So, there in the safety of the shelter, if their bedroom door was not blocked you'd just knock and say a soft hello and tell them you'd wait outside. They'd sit there in the dark of their ruined life, sometimes with a chair propped up against the door, afraid that even in this refuge they would be found, viewing the world with an indomitable and implacable weariness.  But soon they would come out, into the light, amazed that with tools and training, they could learn to live a life of comparative calm. You would hear the stories, stories you know as they've been told so often and so hard that the words no longer were words, but were invisible welts the skin would always carry.
Violence can wear the hand of a family member, but we deal with that, with what we can. I mentor women on not being a victim because evil can be more than something that visits us in our own homes. But it also shops with us, drives with us, peering at us from a van in the shopping center parking lot, or from over their shoulder as they bend to tie their shoe as you jog on past, down that blind canyon of trees from which you will not return. A few years ago, there was a talented young woman who was kidnapped by someone she struck up a conversation with her in a national forest, a kindly-looking old guy who then went on to terrorize her and kill her. She was young and very strong. She was a Black Belt but the zodiac that had stacked the cards against her that day did not care. It was a sobering revelation that the tools she thought would protect her failed her.
Martial Arts is a wonderful tool, but it's naive to think that is a representation of street self-defense, in that you obviously aren't going to execute pre-planned patterns of memorized movements against an attacker. And if you learn it you must keep up the practice and skills. It's not just a force. It's a tool, a habit pattern of strength. It's a pattern of practice. It is a mindset and it doesn't make you invincible. Just because you can kick someone's butt doesn't mean you're better OR bulletproof. I've spent many an afternoon compiling what remained of those that thought they were bulletproof in moments that only my own death will efface from my memory.

But even if being strong and focused is no guarantee, I can guarantee that if you are NOT strong and focused, something one day is going to hit you like a freight train, and you are not going to be prepared physically.
So, I'm going to spend money I'd rather spend on other things, for someone to mentor ME - to guide me through really tough workouts that I'd not do if I just went to the gym on my own.  I'm the personality that is best given a challenge and if that challenge is in front of me, saying "One MORE - hold it 10 seconds" when I think "there is NO way I can do one more", then I'm in. We will sweat as we will talk, in soft cryptic voices, of things we both understand, of being alone in the world at times, of the indisputable discrepancy between will and capability due to muscle and mass, and using what we can to advantage.

Then at night, I'll lay on the bed, not just for sleep but to gather strength as runners do, the window closed against the city, the clock chiming at midnight as strong and as clear as glass that shines in iron darkness. And I will breathe in clear and deep, taking up a big rush of air into my chest as I flex newly worked muscles into a larger and stronger form, my eyes opening and staying that way, taking in all that is around me, that is my safety, before shutting my eyes to sleep.  When I sleep, it will be in quiet and safety, on the nightstand, my husband's keys, a .45 with hollow points, and a tube of pain relief gel.

It's more than pain, it's more than courage or will - it's awareness derived from every drop of sweat on my brow, every drop of blood on my gloved hands.  It's recognition that suddenly blossoms as if a flower is released from a vacuum.  It's taking my life into my own hands, not trusting its protection to the impotent logic and mantra of peace that has betrayed us again and again,
I'll never be 20 again, but if I'm faced with danger I want more than what is figuratively a fading light and a small bullet in an old gun. I want to be strong. I want to be able to MOVE.  I want the thread of my will and my courage to run on the same spool as the movement of muscle and the pump of a leg, running hard and fast into my remaining days.

Because whether the best option is fight OR flight, I want to be as prepared for it as I can be.

Don't hold my breath. Breathe out as I lift, breathe in as I release.   

But owning and training a Labrador Retriever, like legal and responsible ownership and training with a firearm, has some basic rules that mirror one another.

Start young -
If the firearm is just something fun, to be used as a prop for a child to hold or fire for photos to show your friends, without a talk about gun safety or real knowledge of what it is they are doing, they are too young.  That's how I was raised, and how my child was raised.  So far we've managed not to shoot anything we didn't intend to. When there were young children around, my service weapon or anything used in hunting were not accessible to them.  Period.


For what's more important than teaching them to shoot a firearm, is first to teach them a healthy respect for them.  That can be learned from a very early age, years before they handle or fire a weapon under your direct supervision. Put their curiosity at rest early on, so that a firearm is not a forbidden, unmentioned (other than just "don't touch") object, something they may want to check out themselves when you are not around. Having an interest and having respect for something are two different things. Teach them what guns are for, what they can do, and how they can hurt and kill beyond anything Mommy or Daddy can fix.
Even at the earliest of ages, you can work to instill in a youngster, that once that trigger is pulled, it's a done deal.  Whether intentionally or by accident, THIS IS NOT TV.  Injuries and death from a misplaced or unintended shot are permanent.  Even at a very young age, I knew that a real gun could cause death and I was shown that after Bambi and Bugs Bunny were shot, they did not get back up and wisecrack and run off for another episode. They were field dressed and put in the freezer or a pot.  When we got old enough to actually shoot under a parent's supervision, those lessons still resonated and with the always-reviewed rules of firearm safety, we were ready


Socialize early -
When you've purchased a new firearm, don't let it sit in the box.  After making sure it is unloaded, get comfortable with the workings, taking it apart to clean (best the first time or two with someone that is familiar with that model to avoid the whole "I have extra parts" syndrome).  There's more information on the net about the merits or dangers of dry firing a weapon but with the right firearm, it can be of benefit for people new to shooting and perhaps a little hesitant still.  Why? Because it gets rid of that negative training from the physical response to a shot going off, (you should not need a sports bra to go shooting).  People who are prone to flinch or jump can benefit as they gain confidence in their handling of the weapon and the feel of the trigger.

But I might caution against it with rimfire rifles and pistols, due to the design of the rimfire chamber. When a rimfire firearm is dry-fired, the striker hits the outside mouth of the chamber instead of the soft brass rim of the cartridge. Over time this could damage or destroy your firing pin, and peen the barrel face.  With extensive peening, the ammo may no longer chamber.


Though dry firing may be acceptable in some weapons, especially with more modern metallurgy, you might wish to consider snap caps and various other designs of dummy ammunition that allow you to fire nearly any weapon without risk of damage to your firing pin or any other part of the firearm. They're cheap, great for dry firing, and a good resource for malfunction drills. AS always, whether it's a dry fire or snap cap, NEVER forget the rules of gun safety -  treat that gun as if it is fully loaded, touch and squeeze the trigger only when you are sure of your target and what is beyond it, being ready to destroy anything that you are aiming at.

Once you are comfortable, take the new firearm to the range with friends or with an instructor if you are new to shooting.  I have never, ever had folks at my local range, laugh, point or give harsh criticism when I was new to pistols or simply learning a new pistol.  You can learn a lot by watching others and there's always someone around to help you if you have questions. 

When I was new to pistols, I still remember one of my gal friends standing at 2 o'clock (probably getting pelted with brass) at the range going "20% tighter!" and taking photos and video with the point-and-shoot, so I could see after what was working and what was not.  You are never too old or too "expert" to learn.


Be the Top Dog -
A gun is a tool, like any other tool.  You need to have a firm grip and not let it push you around.  Smashed fingers are one thing, a accidental discharge through your femoral can ruin your whole day. 

Having control and a firm grip, especially on a semi-automatic handgun, is important for more than one reason. The most important of which is to avoid what's commonly called "Limp Wristing" the gun. When a shooter has a weak or loose grip on the semi-automatic handgun, it often ends up with not just the bullet not going where you want, but in the firearm not cycling properly, causing the firearm to jam.

"Limp Wristing" your bird dog in a friend's farm field and you'll have those game birds hitting the air like artillery while you are still adjusting your knickers after that last fence you climbed.  Limp wrist your weapon and you may end up with a misfeed or a bullet in the metal clip holding your target (always embarrassing).  Keep firm control of all the tools you use in the field and everyone will be happier and safer.


Recoil?  (Down boy!  Down!) when expected is manageable.  You're not going to set that bird dog loose after you've spent 3 hours tromping through the Iowa countryside after pheasants without him ever hearing a gun go off before.   Don't give a first-time shooter a firearm to fire with a huge recoil.  Either action is a sure way of seeing only the fuzzy backside of your sporting companion running away (and it will take lots of time and treats to get them to trust you again).

Establish your stance, and practice your grip. That firearm may be chambered in .45, .223 or simply some .22, but YOU are the Alpha Dog in the safe handling of your weapon.

They love to stay active -
Get off the couch and get to the range!  Just as Labs love to be out and active, so does your firearm. The more you take it out, the more proficient you will be.

Having firearms, like owning a dog, isn't always cheap and if you can't afford quality care, you might want to rethink your options (slingshot and angry hamster).  It's an investment in your life, one made with thought and entered into fully committed.

Like any tool, regular exercise, proper care, and feeding will ensure your companion is around for a long time and ready to go whenever you are, without a hitch in their step.

If the firearm is not to be fired for a significant amount of time, it is best to do a very thorough cleaning before storage. Every six to eight months take it out and clean it and oil it again (too much oil is not a bad idea here). With plenty of lubrication and a good initial clean, the gun should stay in good condition over time, though storing it in a dry area is always beneficial, even with the oil. Clean and lubricate it again before you fire it.

Concentrate on calm behaviors -
Since Labrador Retrievers are strong, high-energy dogs, owners must concentrate on teaching them “calm” behaviors.

If you've seen me with presented with a nifty firearm I've not tried, it's not much different than Barkley when he got excited about something  "Oh Oh Oh, Shiny!  Can I play with it? please please, play now, can I have it, bacon bacon bacon!"  Apparently, there is also some jumping up and down but that was only once and involved a Colt Python.

 Handling a firearm is serious business and always more risky than throwing that new ball. Take your time and relax.


Always remember the four rules.  Treat every gun as if it is loaded.  Keep your finger away from that trigger until you are ready to fire.  Don't rush, take a deep breath, make sure of your target and what is behind it, and squeeze only when your target is clearly identified.

Never go shooting when you are taking medication that may impair your abilities, even common over-the-counter cold and allergy medications can affect your reaction time and your judgment.  Alcohol, as well, is NEVER a good mix for firearms any more than it is safe for your canine.  Barkley got a teensy bit of spilled beer once before I could get mop it up and he spent the next hour happily farting and humping the ottoman, still a better outcome than if we'd mixed an evening of Rum and a Ruger.

If the gun doesn't fire when you squeeze the trigger, don't get all excited and keep pulling the trigger "bam! bam! bam!", like a bad Steven Seagal movie.  If the trigger is pulled and there is no boom, make sure you had a round in the chamber.  If you are absolutely, positively sure there is no round in the chamber (and if you are very new to shooting and not sure, this is a good time to ask your instructor or the range officer to take a look, no one will think less of you), then, and ONLY then do something about it.  The problem could be a cartridge malfunction or a mechanical malfunction.  But getting all worked up and rushing to "fix" it, can be very dangerous. If you are unsure as to how to clear a malfunction, as a new shooter, ask for instruction, those around you will appreciate your attention to not just your safety, but theirs, and will not think less of you.

Cleaning up after  -
If it's not your own personal range, please pick up your brass. No one else wants to step on it.


Training -
Just as training for your Lab is key to a well-behaved dog (which, around other people and traffic, is a safer dog) so is training for you and your firearm.  If you expect your firearm to help you overcome a threat to your very life, you need to train in varying conditions and be trained in defensive techniques. Plinking at a stationary target on a no-wind, sunny day is fine but it doesNOT hone all the skills you'll need to deal with that guy on drugs, intent on hurting you, that confronts you in an isolated parking lot or your dark living room. 

Spaying and Neutering -
May be required for firearms in Massachusetts and California.  Please check your State laws.
If you can not afford, or have the time, to properly care for a dog, be it exercise, medical care, proper food, and attention - do not get one.  If you do not have the skills or the mindset to use a firearm with lethal force for self-defense, do not get one.  Being a pet owner is more than having a couple plastic dog bowls on the kitchen floor.  Self-defense is more than carrying a gun or target shooting with it once or twice a year. It involves total awareness of potentially dangerous situations that you may encounter and using the tools that you have to stop different but appropriate threats.  Just as you can't expect a Chihuahua to know how to retrieve a game bird, you can't expect your firearm to keep you safe if you don't know how to use it.


You also need to know what constitutes a legitimate threat. Some jackass having a loud party next door after midnight is NOT recourse for firing a load of birdshot at their property (that's what the trebuchet with the flaming sheep is for).  Know what an imminent threat is, learn to recognize it, and learn to respond to it in a controlled and legal manner, removing yourself from the threat, your first line of thought if not in a close situation.

Just as you get to know the care and feeding of your Labrador Retriever through reading, training, and talking to your vet, get to know the safe handling and care of your firearm as well as the responsibilities and consequences of using it for sport, provision, or protection.  That's not just common sense, it's a vital part of being a "good guy".

Because the bad guys don't obey "Sit" and Stay".

The neighborhood we live in has a predominately Eastern European population with a few Hispanic and Irish families as well. (We have some seriously good "ma and pa" type restaurants/pubs with food within walking distance). My biological father's family was Ashkenazi Jew from Croatia/Hungary (my Mom was Scot/English -I don't have a drop of Irish blood despite the name the nuns gave me). So I felt I needed to work on some of my recipes from that part of the world and did so with help from one of our local church ladies.

These were a hit.

2 sticks butter, softened

1 package (8 ounces) cream cheese

1 Tablespoon milk

1 Tablespoon sugar

1 and 1/2 cups all-purpose flour (I use White Lily)

1 egg yolk

1/2 teaspoon baking powder

1 and 1/2 cups thick jam -I used my favorite jams from family-run Rachel's Texas Kitchen  (Chilton, TX) which are thick and the right consistency for these, but you can also use canned Solo Pie Filling).

Beat butter, cream cheese, milk, and sugar in a medium bowl with a hand or stand mixer until thoroughly blended.

Beat in egg yolk (NOT the white, just the yolk)

Sift the flour and baking powder into the butter mixture and stir in by hand  You want a stiff dough -it will be rather sticky but will harden up when refrigerated.  

Cover and refrigerate for a minimum of 2 hours, preferably overnight.

Roll out the dough on a lightly floured surface to a 1/4-inch thickness.

Cut dough with a floured 2-inch cookie cutter.

Place cookies on ungreased baking sheets an inch apart.  Make impressions in the center of the cookies with the back of a teaspoon (or your thumb).

Spoon 1 teaspoon of jam or fruit filling into the center of the cookies (Try the jam, I've gotten one of the Gun Divas' husbands hooked on it by sharing with her, and their salsas and pickled veggies are the best!)

Bake 10-12 minutes (until lightly browned). Remove from baking pans and cool completely on wire racks.  Sprinkle with powdered sugar.

Freeze after cooling in a single layer on a tray or cookie sheet,  Cover with plastic wrap when frozen and place in an airtight container, and put back into the freezer.