The McCarty Family

Ryan and I spent the weekend in LA this year for our anniversary. That now makes it: Yosemite (Fish Camp), Monterey, Santa Barbara, Laguna Beach, Big Bear, Del Mar, Napa and now Los Angeles. Any suggestions for next year?


We ended the trip with our first visit to the Getty Museum. Such a fabulous view.



Our hotel was in Santa Monica so we had a fabulous breakfast and cruised around. Unfortunately, we didn't check the weather and pack our bathing suits and sun dresses (well, not for Ryan) because it was 90 degrees.
We didn't bring the camera around the first day but we visited downtown and then dinner and an improv. Good times :).
The best part of the trip was the time we spent reflecting on the past year. You forget about so much until you really sit down and think about it. It actually took quite awhile to cover most of it and if I wouldn't have kept interrupting and jumping in it might've been a little shorter. Sorry, Ry. We're thankful for the new things we've learned on our parenting journey, even if there are still a million things we still would love to understand. We are also thankful for the new people in our lives this year, the new family members and the new sense of community we're finding in our neighborhood. We continue to be thankful for what God does in us and through us.

Natalie showing off her newly learned dancing skills.


Singing a favorite tune.


Ryan decided to teach Noelle some football. He kept cracking up so I go in to see what's going on and he was just so surprised by her intensity. It's hard to tell because he's so big but she was really going for it and growling.

I have come across a handful of organizations that offer products that make remarkable gifts. These gifts are remarkable, not only because they are really incredible products but also because they come from organizations that are doing their part in bringing about hope and justice in our world. Check it out!!!



31 Bits
Jewelry made with recycled paper by Ugandan Women. Here is their mission statement:
31 Bits Designs is a socially minded business designed to give internally displaced women in Northern Uganda an opportunity to counter poverty. By giving our beneficiaries access to the international market, they are able to earn an instant income, providing homes, food, and education for their families. Our program equips women by providing literacy education, financial and vocational training, holistic care, and strong support systems, empowering individuals to further their careers and attain social equity.

Check out their website for more information about their story and the young women from Vanguard who started the organization. Most importantly share their story by wearing their jewelry.

International Princess Project

"International Princess Project advocates for women enslaved in prostitution, helping them restore their lives and empowering them to live free." The women involved with IPP in India, create these beautiful pajama pants that are sold in the US, with profits directly supporting the women. This organization has a beautiful and powerful story of restoration and empowerment on so many levels.



Laga Bags

I received this bag for Christmas last year and I get so many compliments on it! These bags are beautifully made by Tsunami survivors in Indonesia on Singer sewing machines. You can find more about their story and bags on their website (click Laga Bags)

Today she is sitting in at the computer and yelling, "SHUT UP." I'm wondering where she learned the phrase and then hear that she's actually saying, "It's shut up!" And I realize that she means the computer has restarted and that the opposite of "shutting down" is "shutting up" therefore the computer was now "shut up" and ready to go :).

A little later she explains that the TV screen was "black just like the cupils of Natalie's eyes."

Recently I've posted on facebook 2 other endearing comments and wanted to jot them down here to hold onto.

I was talking about a woman named Carmen and Noelle said, "Carmen? That sounds like a boys name." I told her it was a nice girls name and she replied, "Why does it have "cars" and "men" in it?"

Noelle just said she was going to wear her "thank you" jammies to bed as she pulled out ones with camo print. I connected the dots but asked her why and she said, "because if you see someone with this kind of armor you always say thank you." :)

As the majority of you all know, I won FREE laser eye surgery from Harvard Eye Associates. When I first heard about the facebook contest (thanks to my friend Dr. Jennifer Jensen) and started writing my essay, I started dreaming about winning and the opportunity to give away the money that we had started saving for me to get the surgery.

It was a crazy contest because there seemed to be some decent odds that I could in fact win but at the same time I had no idea how many people had voted for me and how many more it would take! It wasn't until a few of my family and friends decided to post the contest on their walls that I moved into third and eventually 2nd place. My cousin even started messaging all of her friends. And then in the last two hours of the contest I moved into 1st place. Turns out I won by only 9 votes!

I didn't know exactly what the prize would entail and wondered if there would be some kind of catch. There wasn't any catch and the team at Harvard Eye treated me like a celebrity and were wonderful. The entire process was included in the prize and they only asked to document the process for their facebook page.

So, here I am, 1 month later and feeling incredible with my new eyesight! It is the most remarkable gift to be given!! I am incredibly thankful and also pleased to donate money to a few organizations doing tremendous work in our world.

GIVING
It took me a little while to decide upon the organizations because there are so many great options. I landed on three that are dear to my heart and gave to them in various amounts, totaling over $1,000. I wanted a chance for all of you who voted for me and joined me in this journey to see where the donations went and what you helped contribute to!

1. Compassion International
A large portion of the money went to a program and an organization dear to my heart as a mom. When you have a new baby and are holding them in your arms, the thought of not having a place to live or food to feed them is completely overwhelming and yet that is the reality for so many across the world.
Compassion's 'Child Survival Program' meets the needs of mothers and their newborn babies in centers around the world among the poorest of the poor. They help provide basic education, nutrition, prenatal care, and income generating opportunities.

2. International Princess Project
"International Princess Project advocates for women enslaved in prostitution, helping them restore their lives and empowering them to live free." The women involved with IPP in India, create these beautiful pajama pants that are sold in the US, with profits directly supporting the women. This organization has a beautiful and powerful story of restoration and empowerment on so many levels. You can read their story and buy their "punjammies" @ www.intlprincess.org. They make a great Christmas gift!!!

3. The Soldiers Project
As a counselor, my heart is tugged for the men and women coming home from service overseas with mental and emotional wounds that need to be treated, inspected, observed, addressed, and healed. I can only begin to imagine what our soldiers are experiencing as a result of their service.
As my brother narrowly missed deployment to Afghanistan because of an injury, I pondered the impact of combat overseas on numerous occasions. And now that I had an opportunity to sit down and think of issues that I am passionate about and desiring to respond to, this one struck a chord. I was pleased to find this organization comprised of trained professionals who are donating their time to provide free psychological care to our troops. I hope this can help.
I made this donation in honor of my brother and cousin who have both served in the armed forces.

Thank you again to all of you who voted for my essay and to the team at Harvard Eye! I pray that God multiplies this money and uses it to bless people and to show them love, care and HOPE.

I do not believe we can truly enter into our own inner pain and wounds and open our hearts to others unless we have had an experience of God, unless we have been touched by God. We must be touched by the Father in order to experience, as the prodigal son did, that no matter how wounded we may be, we are loved. And not only are we loved, but we too are called to heal and to liberate. This healing power in us will not come from our capacities and our riches, but in and through our poverty. We are called to discover that God can bring peace, compassion and love through our wounds.

Jean Vanier, From Brokenness to Community

Grandma took her to pick out a first day of school outfit at Macy's. Of all the options this is what she just absolutely had to have. She was proud of how it matched and called these her "design pants." :)

I had meant to post these after Hawaii but forgot!

• I WILL NEVER HAVE AN ORGANIZED HOME!
• I AM INCONSISTENT AND DON'T FOLLOW THROUGH WITH THE GIRLS!
• I HAVE SOME SERIOUS CHARACTER FLAWS.
  
  How's that for gentle?
  
  I guess I needed a case in point!

I'm beginning to realize that my daughter has a temperment. Now, I know that does not sound surprising, but IT IS to me. It surprises me that some of the things I see now might always be. It surprises me how different she is from me in some ways. And yet, I know that as a 4 year old it is hard at times to get an accurate picture.

I'm beginning to think that maybe the way Noelle is, has something to do with her and not just with me. I guess it points to the fact that I put a lot of stock into the "nurture" over "nature" theory and am surprised to find that some of her behavior and attitude really do seem to come from hard-wiring. I can't help but wonder how the pregnancy and all of my "stuff" and Ryan's "stuff" and life's circumstances play a part in shaping her. But I am beginning to realize that there are some things that have been pretty consistent from day one.

I'm also reminding myself of something I learned in school. I learned that the type of temperment of your child isn't as important as the "goodness of fit" or the connection that is formed between the child and the parent. In more recent weeks I have been encouraged to really try and gauge the needs of my child and attempt to understand where she is coming from. So, I am attempting to really "see" my child and attempting to connect with her the best I can, look her in the eyes, comfort her, enjoy her and think about her.

At 4, I'm beginning to realize more and more that she is so separate of me and is a complete individual. I think it's Noelle that is supposed to be going through the process but here I am.

And on that note, I felt these pictures captured some of her character:

Loving kindness
Noelle has a big heart and has always been very sensitive. She is sensitive in many ways, one of them being that she can sense others emotions and is affected by them. She really knows how to love well and we see it come out at times. I love when she loves on her sister.

So there is one thing that she seems to have in common with me, her love of dance, posing and attention. Here she is on the soccer field, sauntered off from the disorganized class and taking a minute to pose by the goal.


Intensity
But unlike me, she has a little fire in her that can show up in her passion and intensity, like on the soccer field, in her art and in her interaction.

Determination
Noelle is extremely determined. I think about the line in the movie clueless that said, "it's just a jumping off point for negotiations" or something like that. In this picture, I wouldn't get down something she wanted and so she started piling (in frustration I would add). Natalie just decided to pull the tall barstool over, a reminder that keeping a level head about what you're trying to get at sure helps ;).

"Yes, there is that voice, the voice that speaks from above and from within and that whispers softly or declares loudly: "You are my Beloved, on you my favor rests." It certainly is not easy to hear that voice in a world filled with voices that shout: "You are no good, you are ugly, you are worthless; you are despicable, you are nobody - unless you can demonstrate the opposite." These negative voices are so loud and so persistent that it is easy to believe them. That's the great trap. It is the trap of self-rejection." Henri Nowen, Life of the Beloved





I'm reading The Bean Trees right now by Barbara Kingsolver. The main character spends much of the book loving a battered child into wellness. Attempting to care for her in a way that says you are worthwhile and that the past doesn't define you. And yet the world attempts to rob this child and her lover of the ability to fight and to continue thriving in love.

Have you ever witnessed someone changed by love?

There is evidence that love changes people. Changes their hearts, their bodies, their brain chemistry.

I know God's love has changed me. He loves me into living differently. I don't mean as much in my behaviors but in how I see myself and the world.

I hate that this world robs people of love and more that it robs them of the ability to receive love. It is a nasty, horrible thing. I cling to the hope that love can triumph, trumping the very walls that defend against it.

Love well, friends.

There are some things in life that although you are thankful for it/them and thankful that they are present, you hate them. This is true about so many things in life. Today, it is the potty chair. Yes, incredibly profound. I both love and abhor this thing at the same time.

I was reading some more about my personality type. Boy, did this have some great descriptions of me. Some didn't fit as well but overall I resonate with so much of this. What's so great about reading the positives of your personality type is that you feel so affirmed because the positives about you hit at your core values and what you think is most important in life. Makes you feel like a winner ;).

Also, a great way to grow as you read the weaknesses.

Here is one of the main descriptions from this site:


ENFPs take their relationships very seriously, but also approach them with a childlike enthusiasm and energy. They seek and demand authenticity and depth in their personal relationships, and will put forth a lot of effort into making things work out. They are warm, considerate, affirming, nurturing, and highly invested in the health of the relationship. They have excellent interpersonal skills, and are able to inspire and motivate others to be the best that they can be. Energetic and effervescent, the ENFP is sometimes smothering in their enthusiasm, but are generally highly valued for their genuine warmth and high ideals.

I thought this next little blurb was pretty telling:

ENFPs may internalize anger rather than express it; their respect for other individuals makes it difficult for them to hurt others. An ENFP’s feeling of success depends upon the availability of opportunities to grow their understanding of the world, upon feeling that they’re living true to their personal value system, and upon the condition of their closest relationships.

This sounded like an important thing for me to remember:

When in Doubt, Ask Questions! Don't assume that the lack of feedback is the same thing as negative feedback. If you need feedback and don't have any, ask for it.

Under a list of weaknesses, this first one made me laugh. This is sooo me and I know it drives Ryan crazy. I try so hard to work on it but have found it is something so hard for me to change.

Uninterested in dealing with "mundane" matters such as cleaning, paying bills, etc.
May become bored easily
Have difficulty scolding or punishing others

I definitely see how this could have been a big potential for me, if not for God's work in my life and my own desire and journey towards healthy relationships:

As perfectionists, they don't like to admit defeat, and will stick with bad situations long after they should have left. When they do leave the relationship, they will believe that the failure was their fault, and that there was surely something they could have done to save the relationship.

So, are any of you strong judgers? I'm so curious.

ENFPs may also feel threatened by individuals with strong Judging preferences. With a tendency to take any criticism personally, the ENFP may find themselves irritated or emotional when the Judger expresses a negative opinion, believing somehow that the Judger is expressing disapproval or disappointment in the ENFP.

I've wondered why I came out as an extrovert when I know that I really need time alone to recharge. When I read this it made sense as I do experience a lot of characteristics common to an extrovert. I also sometimes lack follow through.

An ENFP needs to focus on following through with their projects. This can be a problem area for some of these individuals. Unlike other Extraverted types, ENFPs need time alone to center themselves, and make sure they are moving in a direction which is in sync with their values.

So, this is much more for me than anyone reading this but I encourage you to check out your own profile. I'm sure there are some places to take the test online if you don't already know your personality type.

And friends, I would love to know your types!!

This was an EVENTFUL trip! I found $29 one way tickets that I snatched up to fly up to Napa with the girls. The hour flight went great and seemed well worth it, all except the can of orange juice that Noelle dumped in my lap right after take off. I sat in sopping wet shorts all flight and then looked like I peed my pants upon arrival - but nowadays that's minor. I barely noticed.

I did have to reflect that this seems to be par for the course as one of my first flights with Noelle her diaper leaked and left me in the same position, well, a little worse. Another flight early on, I went to the bathroom before the flight, with Noelle in a carrier on my chest and realized that I had dunked the back straps in the toilet. A little scared for our trek to Hawaii coming up. We have to fly to Portland and then to Maui - YIKES!

Anways, we arrived happy and healthy, or so we thought. Natalie and I both started throwing up in the middle of the night! Which is definitely miserable but the worst part was thinking that I was staying at the bride and grooms house and the wedding was 2 days away. The thought of Julie getting sick on her wedding day was more than I could handle.

So, for sake of time, I will wrap up the rest. We checked into a hotel, recovered and headed out to the ranch to enjoy the festivities. There were a few moderate ups and downs along the weekend and thankfully no one else got sick BUT the downpoint for me was Noelle's tantrum in the middle of the wedding vows that forced Ryan to remove her from the ceremony. Unfortunately we were staying 15 yards from the location and everybody had to witness her being hauled away up the gravel and behind the closed door where you could still hear screaming. One of those things that you knew didn't mean the end of the world but for all the red smoke coming from my ears I was not sure i could go on. She eventually turned it around and ate some food we should have given her hours before. I still had the shakes for some time.

And after a 7 hour drive home, that had to be continued the following morning because at 10:30pm are girls had not yet fallen asleep, I was so thankful to be home!!!! Thankfully, time wipes away the tough parts and leaves some really precious memories that this wedding beautifully created!

Well, it looks like Noelle still has a lot to learn about her dad.

This was part of Noelle's things that she made for Father's Day at preschool. The teacher asks them and writes their response.

A man spoke to our mom's group months ago. He got onto the subject of what our young girls come up against as teenagers. We all know that it's not pretty. The teenage years can leave us with some deep scars or some unhealthy ways of thinking or acting.

He began to say something about how we want our daughters to believe that they are beautiful, in a truer sense of the word. He was leading up to how we might inspire that in them. My mind began to jump ahead as to what his suggestion might be. What would you think?

He suprised me by saying, to tell them everyday that they are beautiful as they grow. From teeny tiny, to tell them that they are beautiful.

It wasn't what I was expecting. That sounded a little off. I kept thinking about it. I tell my daughters they look beautiful often. It usually involves a fancy dress or princess dress up clothes. That's really not how I want it to match up though.

I began thinking about what it would look like to tell them all of the time that they were beautiful, regardless of how I was percieving them to look on the outside at that given moment. Could this change them?

I read a story about a girl whose mother never told them they were beautiful but instead told them that it was what was on the inside that counts. The girls thought they were told that because they were ugly. They found out later that their mom said that because she thought they were beautiful and didn't want them to have a big head.

I see the logic, but then again, I have met some absolutely gorgeous women who do not believe they are beautiful. Often, the messages they recieve to the contrary only further their confusion about what they have to offer and what matters most.

I want my girls to believe that they are beautiful, because I know that it DOES matter, even if I told them it didn't. But their actual appearance is far less important than their perception of themselves. That is what impacts how they behave.

I've met women who are unassuming but their belief that someone instilled in them, that they are beautiful, has created a confidence and a beauty that is admirable.

What do you think?

...Why I'm distracted from getting anything done :).

"Mommy, Natalie's playing with your deoderant."
"Mommy, can I cut this paper?"
"Natalie, do you want your face painted?"

Heard these all today.

Contributed by Grandma Kelly:

Noelle: What would happen if you went to a Baker and talked about boogers?

Me: Well the Baker probably wouldn’t like talking about boogers.

Noelle: What if you sang the Baker a nice song about boogers?

Me: He still probably wouldn’t like it because he doesn’t want boogers in his cookie dough.

Noelle: What if you went to a Baker and spit?

Me: The Baker would get really mad because he wouldn’t want spit in his cookie dough.

Noelle: What if you went to the Baker naked?

Me: He wouldn’t let you come in the Bakery.

Noelle: What if you went to the Baker with really dirty clothes?

Me: That would be better than naked.

Noelle: What if you went to a Baker and told him a whopper?

Me: What’s a whopper?

Noelle: It’s when you don’t tell the truth.

One time I didn’t tell the truth when mommy asked me if I took out the bookmark and BOY did I get consequences! I got two time outs and I really didn’t like it and I was on the floor.

Me: Well I guess you should always tell the truth.

I guess the booger topic started when I told her I needed to blow my nose. But how it transformed into this conversation I have no idea!

Ingredients
Chocolate Chip Calzone - 9/2/2002


1 pizza dough (Trader Joe's is where I find it)
3 oz. chocolate chips (or more)
3 oz. white chocolate chips (or more)
Vanilla ice cream
Chocolate sauce


Directions
Stretch pizza dough to 10" in diameter. Place 1 oz. chocolate chips (about a handful) at the bottom of the dough and fold once. Place 1 oz. white chocolate chips down and fold again. Repeat 3 times until all the chips are used. Pinch the edges of the dough closed. Bake at 450 degrees for 7-10 minutes until golden brown. Cut into 6 pieces. Serve with ice cream and cover with chocolate sauce. Serves 2.
Recipe from Brian Okada, Claim Jumper


This is a dessert that I love from Claim Jumper and my friend Julie posted it on her facebook. I've now made it a handful of times and it is delicious!

Make sure you leave your pizza dough out at room temperature for at least 30 min or it is impossible to spread. Once it has sat, I can just pull it into shape on my pizza stone. I spread it out just like a pizza and then begin the folding process.

I definitely recommend cooking it for quite a bit longer - maybe 15 minutes total. Just watch that it's not getting too brown on top! I cooked it for probably 20 minutes at 400 and it came out perfect. It can be deceptive though and you don't want it to be gooey dough in the middle.

Noelle has been so excited for holidays this year and is so curious about what they mean and what we're going to do. I'm not totally sure how to explain some of the depth and significance behind Easter but I am seeking to prepare myself in more ways than just Sunday plans, Easter dresses and decorating. I hope that what my head cannot explain and their's cannot understand will in some way be conveyed by the transformation in my own life.

This week is Holy Week, today Palm Sunday. These are not as familiar to me, not growing up or today in a church that really emphasizes these. But as I get older (30 in 2 weeks!!!) I am beginning to realize that these are opportunities for reflection that I don't want to let pass me by.

Last year, I was so moved by the Good Friday service at church and the service on Sunday was a true celebration. Looking forward to this year at the Pacific Amphitheater http://www.rockharbor.org Where is God moving in your heart this week? Or where might you want to make room for Him to work?

Her hair didn't stay but I think it's adorable. Preschool still seems so little. I cherish these times. Noelle is so sweet, when she is not being stubborn! She will often tell me that she loves me or thinks I'm great which is so wonderful. I love the bond I see between her and Natalie. We definitely have some battles and she really pushes back at me when I say No. I feel like she is 3, through and through. We have a lot of fun together though and she says at least a few things everyday that bring a smile at her observations or curiousity. Today she turned on Ryan's alarm clock radio and we had an impromptu dance session to "Celebration" on the radio. The girls sure know how to have a good time. I know there will be so many fun memories ahead!