The Readiness Is All

Okay folks. It's time to talk politics.
Now, I'm not going to tell you all about the issues or for whom I plan to vote. I'm not going to tell you who you should love or hate. These things are not my job - they are yours. This post may still be a little slanted, but hey - so is CNN. It's life.
But I have to say, I've been feeling a little frustrated lately.
Every day I go to a junior high school and listen to kids talk about political candidates without any kind of information behind what they say. They might know who their parents are supporting, but I guarantee that is all for most of them, and I'm not sure that most of their parents have backing for their positions either. If I had a nickel for every time I heard the words, "If Hilary/Obama/McCain wins, I'm moving to Canada," I would be a very rich woman. But if I had a dollar for every time someone followed that statement with a list of reasons for objecting to said candidate, my pockets would be empty.
Here's the thing - I'm not entirely sure how I feel about every candidate, but I do know that my position is considerably different than it was a year ago, or even a month ago. The biggest factor? Research. And not a lot - I did some reading of platforms on the internet and watched a little CNN, read a few articles in the New York Times and chatted with a few politically informed people. And you know what I found out? I don't hate Hilary Clinton. I always thought I did, but like my 7th and 8th graders, my only reason for this was that I disliked Bill Clinton. And my only reason for disliking Bill had nothing to do with his politics, because I didn't know anything about them; it had everything to do with his personal life. I'm not saying that should have no bearing on my opinion of him, but Bill's personal life has little or nothing to do with his wife's ability to lead a country.
Now, I'm not saying I'm throwing all of my support behind Mrs. Clinton. But I am saying that as I read her platforms, there were some that I really loved, including her education platform. I could definitely live with her in the White House, and I wouldn't even think about moving to Canada. And I really like Obama - he's positive and hopeful and even pledges allegiance (in case you didn't know) and I wouldn't feel despair if he was giving the next State of the Union.
My point is not to say that you should vote Democrat or that you should love any particular candidate. My point is simply that you should do your own research and decide for yourself what you feel about each candidate. Your opinion may stay the same, but at least you'll know more than you would if you let your entire opinion be defined by an e-mail chain letter and some bumper stickers, and I'll feel better about the voting public of America.

For the record, the only Oscar I really, really cared about turned out exactly the way I wanted it to. Despite being up against three songs from Enchanted (Really? Three? Is that entirely necessary? Wasn't there anything else to nominate? It was good and all, but three?) and one from August Rush, "Falling Slowly" took the Oscar. Once was a little snubbed at the Oscars overall, I thought, and I'm very glad that it got at least a little recognition. I'm sad that I didn't get to see the performance - I only ended up seeing the last hour of the Oscars because I went to a very amazing fireside with Truman G. Madsen, which was worth it, but made me miss the part of the show I most wanted to see. Oh, the sacrifice . . . (Yes, that was completely tongue-in-cheek, especially since the fireside was about Joseph Smith and really, it was no sacrifice at all. But a little bit. :P)
In honor of this occasion, I offer the following video - in case you have no idea how amazing this song is, it is here for your viewing and listening pleasure:

Last night Whitney and I hit a free concert of Italian opera scenes on campus. My friend Kellie had invited me to go because her roommate was in it, and I mentioned it to Whitney and discovered my roommate's long-harbored passion for vibrato-laden Italian musicals. (Only kidding, opera fans!)
Anyway, it was actually very lovely. The scenes were funny and beautifully performed, and they even had real anvils when they sang the Anvil Chorus. I've been whistling Whitney's ringtone (which was also the first number) all day.
Afterward, we went back to get my car across the street from Kellie's apartment, and as I was about to start it Whitney said, "Is that a ticket?" We quickly went through all of the possibilities of reasons to get a ticket, but we were parked legally and couldn't think of any laws that we'd broken. Turns out it was a note from Elise and Joel Crane. They recognized my car parked in their neighborhood and Elise wrote me a note. It was a most pleasant surprise, especially when we were thinking it was a ticket.
We finished up the night with $5 pizza, crazy bread, and a movie - what goes better with opera than cheap pizza and Ralph Fiennes? It was all very cultural and fulfilling.
And that is why I still haven't finished parts 3 and 4 of my teacher work sample.

This is absolutely my favorite time of year. I know that technically it isn't quite spring yet, but my friends, we are on the cusp. And the cusp just may be my favorite place to be.
Today it was sunny and beautiful outside, and Miri and I opened our window even though it was just a tiny bit too cold for it. I took a nap with the smell of almost-spring air just above my head and almost-spring sun coming in. I love the anticipation and the smell and the warmth that is almost here but still hanging back just a little. The snow is melting off, and although we're still getting some, it mostly isn't sticking, which I'm hoping will continue.
This time of year always brings back so many other feelings and memories. It usually isn't something big, but I smell the change in the air and I can remember exactly the way I was feeling the last time I started smelling it, not to mention what music I was into, what books I was reading, who was foremost in my mind (haha). I remember the feeling of pushing the spring wardrobe last year - wearing t-shirts and capris too early because wearing spring clothing means it really is spring, doesn't it? I remember making a mix last year and driving up the canyon with my window down and the heater full blast, and I remember walking home from the London prep class the year before and feeling so free and happy because the winter was finally leaving and soon I would be too.
I can't even explain how much of a relief it always is to me when I can finally see the signs of winter receding. Everything seems lighter and better when I know that I am only a few short weeks away from studying outside, packing up my long heavy coats, wearing flip flops, shaving my legs more than once a week (hahaha), feeling less conspicuous when I wear bright colors, sleeping with the window open every night.
Right now I'm listening to Sufjan Stevens, which means that next year at this time I will think of his playful horns and banjo when I first open my window again.
Keep it coming Spring. Don't let Winter push you around. Manifest yourself - the sooner the better.

First, I love postsecret. How amazing is this secret? Second, I love the Oscars. I don't understand why no one ever wants to watch them. What's not to love about several hours of movie clips, ridiculous clothing, people who are too full of themselves, and great moments in movie history remembered? This doesn't even touch on the musical numbers sure to come, and by the way, I know that there are about 80 songs Enchanted nominated this year, but I very much want "Falling Slowly" to take the prize. C'mon people. You didn't give Once any other nods; get the song award right.
Alas, I am afraid that yet again I will end up missing the Oscars or only watching some of them because no one ever wants to watch them with me, and let's be honest: how long can you monopolize the TV with that kind of thing without making your roommates mad at you? So if anyone has any exciting Oscar plans . . . invite me?

Here we go. This list was built off an old one I posted, so some are the same as that old one. This one is better. I never burned that old one to a CD for a reason - it wasn't done. Also, I realize that this is about the 40th playlist that "Vienna" has ended up on. It isn't on the actual burned copy of this, but it occurred to me that it would go quite well with "The Motion Waltz" and I thought I'd make the connection for you.

• "Last Leaf" - Lisa Hannigan (I can't even tell you how much I love this song. Holy cow.)
• "Sightlines" - Rogue Wave
• "Get Me Away From Here, I'm Dying" - Belle and Sebastian (no reference to Provo intended ;). )
• "In My Own Eyes" - Brandi Carlile
• "You're A Big Girl" - Bob Dylan
• "Paper Doll" - Rachael Yamagata
• "Bad Bone" - The Frames
• "The Motion Waltz (Emotional Commotion)" - Rufus Wainwright
• "Vienna" - Billy Joel
  
• "All My Days" - Alexi Murdoch
• "Evaporated" - Ben Folds Five
• "Cold Water" - Damien Rice
• "Halo of Eyes" - Happy Cactus
• "Dead Wrong" - The Fray
• "Which Will" - Nick Drake
• "Don't Go to Pieces" - Hope of the States
• "Empty Room" - Marjorie Fair
• "Don't Stare" - Pilot Speed
  

I've been thinking for the last couple of days (read: since I started working on my official CD for listening to on Valentine's Day) about my somewhat ridiculous attitude toward a certain holiday that is mere moments away.
I blame stores for part of this attitude - by putting out their V-day merchandise before Thanksgiving is technically over, they give me plenty of time to build up a lot of dread. "Huh," I say as I walk through aisles full of big stuffed crocodiles and aardvarks with hearts attached to their snouts, "We must be coming up on Valentine's Day. And even though we are months away, I'm sure that this will be another one that I spend single. Hunky freaking dory."
Now, this would not be bad if I only had to think about it for two or three weeks (you know, start sometime after we take down the Martin Luther King, Jr. Day decorations), but when you have to dread it for more than one month and every time you enter a store you are more aware of the fact that you still don't have anyone, it gets a little sketchy.
But here's the thing. 1)It's not like everyone has someone on Valentine's Day. Far from it. And 2) those who do are not necessarily having a better time than the single people, because they have to worry about buying presents and planning something romantical.
I also don't get the general girl anger toward boys who don't ask them out on V-day. C'mon. Who wants to have a first date - an already awkward circumstance - on the most romantically loaded day of the year?
Also, what difference does it make if I don't have someone on Valentine's Day? It is no reflection on my personal self worth if I'm single on an arbitrary day in the middle of February - no more so than it is on any other day of the year. So why should I sit around eating a lot of chocolate and feeling lonely? I see no reason not to celebrate.
And so, surprisingly, my final SAD playlist ended up being mostly happy - it starts out with a few semi-bitter songs, then goes into some liberation songs, and we end up with some pro-love (but not necessarily pro-Valentine's Day) songs, finishing off with Lindsey's suggestion of "If You Find Yourself Caught In Love" by Belle and Sebastian and "God Only Knows" by the Beach Boys. You may have noticed the beginnings of this trend in the original list, but it is more so now. (I did leave "On the Bound" and all of the Valentine's Day songs on - among other things - because they are fun and I enjoy pretending bitterness even if I don't really care right now.)
As I consider the last few V-days, none of them have been bad. At all. In fact, the last time I had a boyfriend (2004, ladies and gentlemen) trying to figure out how to work the holiday launched us into a fight and it barely ended up being a goodish day. Singlehood has granted me all kinds of fun opportunities from muraling parties to ridiculous first dates to the dollar theater. And although I'm still trying to figure out what I'm going to do tomorrow, I'm sure it will be fine. Who knows how much longer I'll be able to celebrate the day of love without feeling the need to buy someone something they don't want?

So I guess I may as well tell you all that it's official. I'm going back to London this summer.
I knew it was only a matter of time, I just didn't know it would be quite so soon. But when Ghana fell through and Dr. Benfell made some offhand comment about my being welcome on this summer's program, I couldn't resist.
Anyway, to make a long story short, I got a job as a TA for Dr. Benfell's Shakespeare class over there, and I'll be working as a facilitator while I'm here. I'm excited to dust off the passport and get back to the land that I love. (You know, the one besides America.)
Best part: I didn't get to go to Scotland before, but we're definitely going there this time. SO happy about that! I've always kind of regretted not going there, even though I really needed the rest before. (A big group ran up to Scotland after the North trip when we went before - a few of us decided to just go back to the Centre, which we had to ourselves. It was nice, we were tired, but no Scotland.) That means we're also hitting the Lake District again, which in my mind is basically heaven. I don't think I can think of a non-home place in the world that I love more than the Lake District, and I'm really not kidding.
It still won't be free - the TA job will help some and I'm going to work before (and after - yikes!) but how can I pass up something like this? It's my last time to use BYU for what it's really good for! I've already postponed graduation until August (although I'm still walking in April) so that I can go.
Good work experience with a professor + London = perfect. As long as I remember the shampoo this time.

So this week I got a very nasty virus. It came through IM from my dear friend Melissa, a message that said, "This picture looks just like you!" and when I clicked on it, my computer started going crazy.
Thankfully, (and not) poor Brad Riching got it from me, because it immediately started spreading through my IM contact list. He went to Doug, who offered several suggestions for getting rid of the immediate threat (getting rid of the redirects to phishing websites, for one) and then recommended a good anti-virus software. Brad bought said software and got 3 licenses. He used one on his laptop and one on his desktop, and (because he loves me) he gave one to me. It killed the viruses and all of the spyware and keyloggers and everything else disgusting and nasty. Funny thing about my free Symantec - it can tell me I have something, but it can't kill it. Yay for PC Tools internet security.
The good news is my computer is working pretty beautifully right now (although all of this has me thinking about my next computer, which is probably due pretty soon). The bad news is I think a few other people got the virus before I got rid of it. If you did, I hope you get rid of it quickly. It's a scary one.

Can we take the next hour and talk about me?
My very favorite band is calling it quits.
Sam and Nate! Please come to your senses! What will I do without you? Don't you realize how much you have influenced my life? Don't you realize that the title and subtitle of my blog both come from you? That I have multiple Giant Journal pages that revolve around your lyrics, and that I have an entire page dedicated to you? That the first song I could really play on the guitar was "A Mess to be Made?" I need a reason to let go. An intervention, a lullaby - something to cure me.
Please believe me.
I'm sure that Sam and Nate will both do some amazing things with their musical careers, but I just can't imagine not having them out there putting out amazing stuff for me. And no warning!
I'm quite undone.
In memoriam, a few of my favorite quotes from this band, may it rest in peace (realize that my very favorite is the subtitle of the blog, from "I Am Ready, I Am"):

• "My love is not a bank statement." - from "A Mess to Be Made"
• "If I fail, well then, I fail, but I gave it a shot." - from "On Your Porch"
• "I'm falling in love with you, balloons or no balloons. Sometimes I forget the past and just learn to love what I have, 'cause I love waking up to your laugh." -from "Janet"
  
• "I've just gotta get myself over me. You know me, or you think you do - you just don't seem to see I've been waiting all this time to be something I can't define." - from "The First Single"
• "Life is not a play, it's what we make of the people we love." - from "Snails"
• "That's a metaphor- no wait - a simile. I'm still learning but I think I'm getting better." - from "Career Day"
• "We'll take our chances, we'll rise above, we'll last until the end." - from "Inches and Falling
• "You know it's such a drag to live your life for a heart attack - to never get a second chance to say goodbye." - from "At the Wake"
• "If you can't dance, there's someone else in line." - from "The Compromise"
• "I think it's safe to say I've only got myself to blame." - from "Dog Problems"
• "I scream as loud as anyone, but when asked to make a point I tend to whisper." - from "If Work Permits"
• "I started sending you a note on how I hope that you're happy - I hear you're somewhere near the sand - and how I wish I was an ocean; maybe then I'd get to see you again." - from "Oceans"
• "Why am I scared from what she did to me? Why can't I trust anyone - no, not even me?" - from "Oceans"
• "Don't tell me when it's coming (don't) I just want to see it for myself. Don't breathe, don't make a sound, 'cause the song won't stop 'till the tape runs out. The melody has nothin' to hold - I'll be the last sound that you hear as your eyes close." - from "Wait, Wait, Wait"
  
• "Let's make a list of who we need, then we'll throw it away 'cause we don't need anyone." -from "The First Single"
• "Don't call for your surgeon, even he says it's too late - it's not your lungs this time, it's your heart that holds your fate." - from "For You"
  
• "Sometimes, when sailors are sailing they think twice about where they're anchoring. And I think I could make better use of my time on land." - from "If Work Permits"

Let's cause a scene.

I know this is early, and it's also woefully incomplete, but I thought I'd get a start on it and send it out for you all to add to, and then we can all be prepared when the dark Thursday approaches.
I'm not sure what the overall theme is for this playlist - some of the songs are just build you up songs, some are pro-love but not necessarily pro relationship, some are just non-sappy love songs, and some are wonderfully bitter (as in, be glad you're single). Anyway, it will come into more focus as we go along, but I thought I'd post what I've got for your consideration.
I'll admit that this list is geared toward girls - it will need modification for guys. Deal.

• "My Funny Valentine" - Elvis Costello (a short version and good - a good, ironic way to start I'm thinking)
• "Single" - Natasha Bedingfield (This song is not even remotely my style, and it annoys me during the rest of the year, but I like it on Feb. 14th. Look at the lyrics and you'll see why.)
• "You Don't Own Me" - from The First Wives' Club
• "Can't Change Me" - Chris Cornell
  
• "Perfecting Loneliness" - Jets to Brazil
• "Valentine" - Old '97s ("Valentine the destroyer...")
• "On the Bound" - Fiona Apple ("It's a sad, sad world when a girl will break a boy just because she can . . .")
• "Fake" - The Frames
  
• "Nothing Better" - The Postal Service
  
• "I Remember" - Damien Rice
• "Songs of Love" - Ben Folds
• "La La Lie" - Jack's Mannequin
• "Polaris" - Jimmy Eat World
• "The Sound of Settling" - Death Cab for Cutie
• "We're All in This Together" - Ben Lee (Not to be confused with the one from High School Musical. Really.)
• "Got to Get You Into My Life" - The Beatles
• "No One's Gonna Love You" - Band of Horses ("No one's gonna love you more than I do.")
  
• "I Want You" - Bob Dylan
• "Reason Why" - Rachael Yamagata ("I will head out alone, hope for the best . . .)
  
• "The One That Got Away" - The Actual Tigers
• "For You" - The Format
• "Valentine's Day" - Linkin Park

Feel free to offer suggestions or changes - see if you can figure out the rhyme and reason to this. :)

Once upon a time, there was a teacher in the strange land of Spanish Fork.
She assigned her 7th graders to write a thing called a Poem for Two Voices, but because they had never heard of such a thing, she offered examples for them to read. She passed the examples out, but she didn't reread them beforehand, and so missed the fact that there was a Word in one of them. A Word most horrible and distasteful.
That word was Hell. Used as a noun.
(Pause for dramatic emphasis)
And lo, when the 7th graders came upon the Word, they gasped and shuddered, just as I am sure you are doing right now.
And they said, "Miss Winegar, do we have to read this word out loud?" And their benevolent teacher looked at them with dismay and said, "Of course not, dear children! I am so sorry for exposing you to anything so depraved!" And so they replaced it with "Heck" and all was well.
But behold, one of the children was a bad child. He had no problem with the Word and read it OUT LOUD for all to hear. And the children gasped louder and shunned the child.
But a good little child read the poem next and substituted the word "Heck" for the horrible word and everyone told him what a good thing he had done by not swearing.
And the teacher winked and gave a thumbs up to the bad child for not being afraid of a word that is in the BIBLE and has been said in multiple sessions of GENERAL CONFERENCE, especially when used as the name of a place and not as a curse.
But she secretly prayed that she would receive no horrified phone calls from shocked parents, because you never know what can happen when you are in such a strange land.
Note: This is how I told the story to Nate Kartchner and I thought I was so funny I decided to post it. I think I was inspired by the Vidal Sassoon writing style.

Today I opened my new curling iron (thanks, Mom) and was looking at the instructions. Don't ask why - I always glance through these kinds of instructions to see if there's anything useful. There never is, and these were no exception, but I came across this piece of amazing cautionary wisdom:
This appliance may have a polarized plug (one blade is wider than the other). As a safety feature, this plug will fit in a polarized outlet only one way. If the plug does not fit fully in the outlet, reverse the plug. If it still does not fit, contact a qualified electrician. Do not attempt to defeat this safety feature.

. . .

Defeat? (Megan puts away the sword and shield she had ready to battle against said safety feature.)
Shoot.