I'm in the middle of transition period. Maybe it's too late, when some other friends of mine have already gone through this period.
The period of being alone,
the period of everyone you are close with are no longer there,
the period of having no one to randomly text and say "Let's lunch!",
the period of learning to live alone and SURVIVE.
Yes, I am currently in this period. My bestfriends are at different places in earth. Among others :
a) Other universities taking Master
b) Other laboratories or departments, taking Master with new friends and gang
c) Working oversea
d) Working at other states, not in Kuching
e) At their hometown, waiting for graduation
And so, I have to learn to survive alone here. With only ONE goal now :
Graduation 2015
And because I know I can no longer be the cry-baby I used to be, because I know I can no longer throw tantrum and all of a sudden say "I'm unhappy, let's go out for ice-creams!" and things like that, because i know things will be different, I can no longer afford any dramas in my life, cos I know this time, any dramas, I'll have to face them alone, and I am not strong enough to face so many of them.
That explains why I am avoiding some people. Why I talk less. Why I prefer to walk alone, eat alone and jog alone.
And so, when someone tries to cause a drama, I began avoiding her.
What happen, you asked?
There's this 22-year-old girl, who heroically took up the vice-president post of the biggest, busiest, and most challenging college in the university. And yet, she has no enough strength and determination to go through it, but still wants to hold on to that post, and tried too hard to please her "sister", although her "sister" did not expect anything from her after knowing she is yet to be capable of doing big things.
One day, she broke down. Due to her OWN overthinking. Because she did not heed her "sister"s advice to be honest and deal with things directly, cos she is too coward to tell the truth, cos she choose to bottle things up in her, cos she likes to think that everyone is burdening her (though that is not true), she broke down. In a terrible way. 22 sticks of cigarettes, and she was so so so proud of it that she told her concern "sister"
"I am big enough and mature enough to know what I am doing. I know I am doing the right thing"
Now, tell me. When you used to be so concerned over someone younger than you that you lost yourself while trying to motivate her, that you lost your own positive vibes cos you gave her all, that you took care of like your own sister, that you helped cos she is your responsibilities not your burden. When someone like that, tell you things like she did the right thing, she is mature enough, needless for you to tell her what she should or should not do. What do you do?
In my case, I start treating her NORMALLY. Like a normal friend. Cos it seems to me that no use pouring advices and trying to pull someone who feels that she knows better, and does not need me. Or am I wrong?
And then when I am stable with my life, she starts again with telling my friends we quarreled, till my bestfriend posted things saying that I shouldn't be angry at her till I forget all good things she did to me.
And so, I am the one who carry the blame at the end, huh?
It's ok. As long as no dramas in my life. I am fine :)
