
Dear Human Body Corporation:
I have just learned that you are planning to fire me due to cut backs. Fortunately for both of us that's not a good idea, and here are some reasons why. Firstly, aside from you, I practically run this place! You fire me and every system goes into emergency shutdown. Secondly, you know as well as I do that this whole place is run on memory banks and empty files for storing later discoveries. Fire me and all that data is gone, "poof" plus no storage for new data. Lastly, the senses. Those wonderful little inventions that were so valuable in your rise to a successful company, you guessed it, those are gone too. To make a long story short, do not fire me!
Okay, back to the idea of total shut down. Let me give you some reasons to show you why that's not a good idea. Number one, your respiratory system, the only way to gather the oxygen we need to keep this corporation running. You lose me you lose that too. Same with the circulatory system. If you lose that then no food for the employees. No food for the workers means unhappy and unhealthy workers and that leads to strikes. If that happens the rest of your body shuts down. Basically it ends up in a series of... well a series of unfortunate events that all lead up to the eventual paralysis of the company, which would then lead to the complete shut down of your whole corporation.
Next we have your precious memory banks. Again, you fire me you lose all those memories. All your previous achievements...gone. You wouldn't even remember my birthday and no one forgets my birthday! Also, you wouldn't be able to document any further discoveries. In fact, you would lose the ability to formulate any future information to store. Also, your communication would utterly fail. No speaking, no hand signs, nothing. Like I said, you fire me, you lose everything.
Now on to our next reason. Your senses, what you wake up and smell the coffee with, the things that keep you from getting badly burned. If you get rid of me your throwing those wonderful things away, and losing those things can be potentially life threatening. First, you would lose your ability to feel. So if you put your hand on a burning stove you wouldn't feel it and next thing you know your staring at a pile of black ash and wondering how it got all over your morning bacon. Not that you would be able to see that because you lose your ability to see also. Putting it simply, the only thing you'd be able to successfully do is sit on the floor, and even then you wouldn't be able to tell if you were sitting or standing.
Can't you see, you just can't fire me! Let's review why you shouldn't fire me. Number one, I operate this whole place. You lose me and everything goes into emergency shut down. Two, all your memories and further empty storage disappear. Lastly, you lose all senses. No smell, no vision, no hearing,no nothing. To put it quite simply, I go down, your company goes down with me.
Sincerely,
The Nervous System