MiTcH*-

happy birthday to you.
now I realised my insignificance.

thanks to all my friends who stood by me.
dun worry, I won't allow myself to be hurt. in every ending, there is surely an impt lesson learnt. I've learnt mine e previous time, a very impactful lesson that broke up all my heart.

Just now as I opened my fridge, I saw a container of grass jelly that I made specially for someone 3weeks ago. I threw it away cos its way not fresh anymore. I thought for a long time and decided that grass jelly is the best dessert for quenching thirst before riding on. I remember making it e day after e movie so that I can give it e next time I see him. everything is so short lived.

Take me away.

i felt so guilty that im recovering from my cough, flu and sore throat, and that I've passed them to my mum and sis. :-(

sis came back from work just now and told me that she got sick because of me. I think I passed it to her yesterday when we slept in e same direction. I've been trying to avoid her direction but subconsciously I am too asleep. and she told me that last few night when I was having a fever, she still insisted on sleeping together wif me because she didn't wan me to feel bad. how sweet and loving of her. and today I told her that im sorry for not shifting because I reali felt like dying that night lol.

I realised that sometimes I care too much for things that doesn't even care, and that I forgot to love the ppl that have loved me, more. my sis is so nice. and it is time for me to be very very nice to her haha. yeah, bitch I love you ;-).

I've been trying to help yong to win you back. because we all think that he treats you better. but once again, its ur life, you definitely have e choice to choose ;-). I wish you forever happiness ;-).

If only.........
Monday
Tuesday
Wednesday
Thursday
Friday

Round the world in Banyan tree resort :). Imagine how relaxing and nature life would be then. Just with the breeze and sounds of all nature... Sitting back and enjoying every moement.

Wake up Mitch! But at least this 5pics cheer me up.

Back to reality check. Today i just realised that i have 4 tests coming up.

1) Applied Chemistry 5th Apr
2) Materials structure 9th Apr
3) Thermodynamics 12th Apr
4) Econs of Mfg 12th Apr

Final exams start on 22Apr and end on 7 may. 5 final exams. So in short to say, ive 9 'cute' papers left. And thats the end of a semester! I cant wait for my holidays! But before that.... Dun ask me how much i have studied, im ashamed! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

Today was an eventful day. Woke up early in the morning and met up with Pyin. Hit town and said we wanted to study at starbucks, but dun imagine too much we didnt, after that 1 hour of study, i started emo-ing and we were talking about a lot of things. She drew me a paper of analysis which i will keep for a long time, perhaps up til i got my own kids LOL. and wow, that piece of paper is really inspirational.

And we were talking about S. And. Today i was further reassured that our used to be love was so strong, the feeling is so deep. No words can fully or accurately describe the times that we spent, the experiences that we had. And yup, i can no longer control my tears when i think of him, esp when i said abt how nice he was in the past. I felt the chill of my heart, i could feel my bloody heart after a battle, i could feel the pieces shattering, its like quenching and putting my heart into the fruit blending machine. Its like a bomb exploding inside, its like lots of glass pieces stinking into it. Its like someone stepping on it, its like a thousand needles poking on it. Its like ... No exact sentence to describe the depth of the pain. The pain will always be there with me, for a long time, long fucking time, the pain wun go off. It will be my shadow and im gonna live in that kind of pain for a long time.

Pyin, thank you for being there with me. Thanks for all the comforts which you gave me. And i really cherish all the advices that you gave. You are really a good analyser.

After that started shopping and bought some stuffs. Went back to Eunos together with Pyin to wait for the rest of the girls for dinner. And continue chatting :).

Met up with Yt, ly and trish. And so together with Lu as well, we were dinner at sempang bedok. I finally had the chicken chop. A chicken chop in a food centre that costs a freaking $9. And today i had it. If i can spent $50 buying a shirt for a firned, why wun i just spent $9 on my meal. And i really really fully realised that, why haven i been loving myself? Why haven i been pampering myself? I seldom buy things that i love for myself. All the things that i bought for myself are essentials. Whats the point of saving up on my bank and so willing buy things for others when i dun even care for myself? Who's there to love me if i dun love myself?

I saw the mickey, beauty and the beast light up figurine at precious tots. it costs more than a hundred. Py wanted me to choose one and she wanted to buy it for my birthday but i didnt wan to. I will, one day when i start to love myself, own all the figurines there. Have i really enjoy the quality of life? I thought.............

After dinner, Yting drove us to Yishun Dem, hee thanks thanks! That i got the chance to really chill down and straighten my thoughts out. im having too many thoughts in my mind. I have been lazing around and didnt really study for this sem, this is not how a undergrad should behave. And this is totally unacceptable. Let me pick myself up and start my engine again. I hate myself for being the way the past months.

Today just so happen to be a day whereby i really deeply reflect about my life. I should start loving myself more, i should start pampering myself more. End of the day, what i learnt most is if i dun love myself, whos there to love me. So start loving myself.

And now. What i can say is that. Once i have decided on something, its hard to change my mind. Im that kind of person. It happens a few times. And yes, im that way. Don't regret. Im not for taken for granted. Im a human too, a human that have emotions and feelings. That's it !

I duno what to blog but subconsciously im here at this page. Life is boring. And with the cough flu and sore throats. Thanks Vivian for buying me strepsils, that definately helps a lot.

The birthday cake Claire, Gaik Lan, Vanessa, Chloe and I made for Geraldine :)


Me and the birthday girl :)


The beautiful birthday girl :)


Me and Auntie Gaik :) Haha designer clothes, its beautfiful!! I really love it !!


All of us at paradise inn. Another designer clothes here! Ahhh :) Beautiful ! :)

I LOVE YOU ALL :)

Yesterday after school went to celebrate GC birthday.

Parted with Vivian after school and i went to plaza sing. Shopped for a while before heading down to centrepoint. Sat at Long John alone. And called Py. Thanks a lot girl :). 3hours alone at long john makes me ponder on a lot of things.

Met up with my NUH friends at 313, we had paradise inn :) good place! There was Claire's, her two kids, Geraldine and her daughter and Auntie Gaik :). We had a nice dinner. This is the first time celebrating GC bdae. Time really passes by so first lor, ive known them for almost a year already. I really enjoyed my times in NUH, and there's also Steph, Laura, Aisha, my JGH friends etc etc.

And then, after the dinner Claire Gaik and i decided to design a handmade cake for Geraldine's :) i cant rem the shop name but we have a good time decorating :). And we had the cake there! LOL i think Geraldine is so tired with the pic taking. haha. Overall, its really a fun time with them :)

I believe in friends forever. But not love forever.


A picture tells a million words, lazy to elaborate here. That's it.

Got this quote from IA briefing today.

********In life, there are 3 kind of people,
1) those who let it happen
2) those who make it happen
3) those who wondered what happen

Short 4 sentences yet inspiring. Deep down and even more meaningful. The briefing was superb, it says cheers because we are half mile to graduation LOL. But in actual fact, its still damn long.

Yesterday met up with Pyin and Yting to ECP mac for study session LOL and more of talking rather lar haha. Time pass by really fast. And we were wondering in the future probably we would bring our kids there and us sitting down at the beach enjoying the picnic. Friendship is a superb thing :).

This is a busy week !

What am i living for?

Some people live for fame,

some people live for wealth,

some people live for love,

some people live in vain,

some people live for others,

some people live for themselves,

some people live for the sake of it,

And so what do i live for?

What is my life purpose?

What do i go after in this life?

What is the reason behind everything?

I suppose i have no definate answers for all that. Life's short, make it beautiful. But how to? Stuck in this damn NTU hole right now, everything is revolving around studies.

When there's no turning back, you just have to decide your end. But i would choose to walk on. And perhaps at the end of the tunnel i will be able to see more light.

The cycle goes on. One can never be content. One goes after everything to have a fulfilled life. And is this why its the journey that counts? Is life interesting because we never know when is our expire date?

Just a lot of random thoughts....

Exams coming. Project submission this week. Thurs Lyan bdae, Fri Geraldine Chow bdae. :)

Keep me busy, time will pass by fast. I am damn looking forward to my mays hols, will get to work in NUH :) cool cool cool !!!!!!!!!!!!! Now, im very greedy, can i fast forward time to 2012 may? Everything will be good then, perhaps.

Instead of just wanting something simple.

Now, i realised the simplest of all is not to want.

Out and out and out further.

fate decides

2 tests, mon n tues

ask me how little I've studied

I duno

lost balance.

back out.

thought on thoughts.

:-( :-( :-( :-( :-( :-( :-(