Wednesday, March 29
-9:24 pm
Hmm, I wonder about the benefits of being too friendly. Blah.
I'm really bored at work. =[ Everyday I'm looking forward to the time slot where Chong Qing and Mary come on air, because by then, time will pass so fast!
Sad life. =[
Monday, March 27
-9:25 pm
man, i don't even know who did my johari window. i remembered only given that certain few, but unexpectedly someone popped out. ehh.. can IM me who you are? haha. or perhaps the person got the wrong window. hmm..
well, so boring at work now. march's ending! wow, time has surely passed quickly. transient as they said. april is coming and work is going to end soon! whee! but that will mean no more squandering of my money. i did a summary of my finances today, and darn, i really did spend alot. Not counting the sum i chipped in for my camera - the picture quality is actually not very spectacular i found out, for the life of me, i couldn't figure out when had all the money gone to. okay.. maybe food? like the outings with CO like once a week! haha. then, some went into CDs, comics and... i really don't know where! haha. think it's mainly food ba. wah lao. that's a lot leh. i'm so going to stay at home come may, june and july. haha.
CO under this new teacher is getting from bad to worse. initially thought maybe she can help bring up the discipline but i think she's a totalitarian now. blah. really man, since she loves to run the show so much, why bother to choose a comm anyway? why not you just decide on everything, just appoint someone who's willing to be your puppet? if this go on, i don't see why CO won't crumble under you. maybe A's really right about your weight, not physically but mentally. you are crushing CO can't you see? pity we are all students and can't talk back to you.
I'm hurting for CO. =[
Sunday, March 26
-5:57 pm
To people of Hosanna:
Interesting bible study we had today. Haha.
I just have to write in down, else I'll forget everything that we had said/debated today.
One simple question: "What do you think of the action of picking lots by the priests?"
There is no model answer so to speak, since it's "what do you think of..". Opinion question. But the gist of the model answer was to be, "they had prayed, and
believed that whoever got the lot, was the one God had chosen" So faith is the rightful answer. Believe that this is what God wants - His will and purpose are in it, so go forth and believe.
Then came the ideas of "doubt" and "suspicions". How do you know
really this is what God wants? How do you know which is the right choice/decision? How do you know whether if something is a temptation from Satan or a trial from God? Why doesn't the matter go as smoothly as it should be? The road is not smoothly paved for us to walk on. Well, when we say things don't go smoothly, it's because we have had expectations on the outcome of the matter. And even so, God prolly never intend to make things smoothly for us - prolly to let us learn something from it or to see something from it. A trial I supposed. With our limited wisdom, what do we really know what God has already planned?
A temptation is never a temptation unless you have this
desire (which comes from within) to want this certain outcome. So even though, Satan may hang the carrot of temptation in front of your face, it won't be a temptation unless you have desired it. I think that's what James 1:12-15 is trying to say. So to differentiate whether it's a trial or temptation, one has to do some self reflection - your own desire to want that certain outcome but doesn't seem to be coming or it really made no sense to you? God may approve of Satan's request to tempt us, and only at appropriate times, (I won't use "allow" because allowing doesn't mean approving for me and Satan's ultimate goal is to wreck human's relationship with God.), but He doesn't allow Satan to harm us, as shown in Job's story and again, it's likely a trial to train us, to solidify our faith. At the end of the day, the authority still lies in the hand of God.
Ahhhh!! All these seem so messy. Just writing down my thoughts and understanding. Please do not take this as some kind of model answer, it's just my understand!! Do help me improve on it, if there are any hazy areas. Because the questions were so haphazardly thrown, without any linkages and sometimes I really catch no ball! Haha.
Friday, March 24
-9:33 pm
I don't know how, but I actually spelled "toes" to as "toils". -_-" don't know what's wrong with my brain. It's not doing what I'm commanding. Haha. Oh well. Old age.
hmmm..
Anyway, it's kinda interesting to note what my friend, C had told about this particular friend of ours, AT..
Well, according to her, he gave her and the others a whole lot of crap. Talked nonsense, acted as though they are of lower beings, what have you. And they really can't take it anymore and couldn't care less about the sh*t he gives. But to me, he doesn't seem to do that. I don't know, it's either I'm dumb in detecting his bull or he doesn't dare to give it to me. Haha. Or heck, he thinks that I'm too dumb to detecting anything so he decides to be nice to me. =\ Whatever the case, he's really some interesting guy to know. Seeing the change in him over the years, well, don't know if it's 'cause we are too naive or it's a gradual thing - the change in personality or rather some will wanna call it "growing up". Found out he's quite the MCP as well.
Is that true for all libra males?
But his girl seem all right letting him taking the wheel. And she doesn't seem to have a strong character, just pretty looking. Air head? Not really. Doubt she is la, after hearing all that I've heard. Haha. Don't know her very well anyway. Just hope they do okay once she gets to university where the bees will start buzzing around her. Afterall she's the love of his life.
Thursday, March 23
-9:17 pm
yays, it has been resolved. at least i think it is. a rock off my shoulder.
hopefully, everything will just go on fine from here.
not that naive to think that everything will go back like it used to.
but it's over now. =]
anyway, i've got my nails painted. wahahah. they look weird. not like my toils. bleh. kinda werid getting pampered too. haha. extremely not used to it. blah.
Monday, March 20
-9:56 pm
Fickle-minded creatures.
That we are.
Oh Lord, just give me the courage to do what I'm supposed to do.
Or am I to wait and see again?
But I'm really tired of waiting.
*Cries*
Saturday, March 18
-11:41 pm
Had a stayover at C's place yesterday. Not many turned up, as usual. But can't complain much since they had work today, not very good to be sleeping on the job. So what did we do? Eh, nothing much. Met up with them pretty late, around 8.15? Then we had dinner at KFC till like almost 10, then we made our way there. Lols, C didn't even know his way there! Haha. Bo bian la, it was just a weekend place for him anyway. Thought I wouldn't have the chance to catch Da Chang Jin - nice show btw, I'm pretty hooked on it. Can't wait for her to quickly grow up, haha.
Then... watched Love Actually (Yays, nice show!) and mahjong liao lor! Again la. Haha. Not that I'm complaining but when it certainly do tend 'cause us to neglect others la. And at every stayover, mahjong sessions always take place. Blah. If only A has more fighting games on his PS2. Then at least everyone can have a turn with it. Heh. In the end, they did play some games.. but I felt asleep. Aiyah, but didn't sleep very well leh. Think I did conked out for awhile, but eventually still got dragged back to the conscious world by their stupid loud voices. Bleh.
Morning came, then we started ermmm gossiping? Was that counted? Haha. Actually not really la. We talked like from our days in kindergarten - turned out C and WL might have come from the same pre-school (LOLs), to prefect days in primary school, to relationships? Haha. Don't know how it was dragged till all that way. Just talked cock I guess. It's always when we are about to leave then things got interesting. Saddening abit lor. Then found out that I got cut from the gossip lines again. Damn it. Not like anyone want to tell me anything lor. My fault izzit! Haha. But oh well.
Train ride home.. Hmmm. Nothing much. No guts to do what I'm supposed to do. Blah.
Then I got my camera! Whee.
Then I slept for like 3 hours peacefully. Thoroughly over and out. Good man.
And now, I'm going back to my darling bed. =D Nightys.
Thursday, March 16
-7:24 pm
Virgin Margarita is a cheat! It's jus a ice-blended drink! Wahahaha, cheat my money. Might as well drink the alcoholic version lor. Hai, forget it. I learnt my lesson well. Haha.
C had Sex on the Beach and being the children that we were, the 3 of us were kinda embarrassed to order it. Lols. Comical sia. But in the end he got his drink la and it tasted like cough medicine according to him. Hmm, thought it was okay though.
Yays, stayover tomorrow. Hope I can get my camera as well. Hehs. =]
Yo Sharon, permission is most likely given for hostel staying! Haha. Whee!!
Monday, March 13
-11:11 pm
let me amend what i've posted earlier.
i'm a blessed girl! all that rubbish can just be cast away.
for now. and hopefully for a long time as well. =]
-11:41 am
My wishes for the year:
- get a digital camera with anti shake. Think I badly need that function. Haha. And before I go to London.
- get into psychology degree course.
- get my parents to agree to me staying at NTU hostel, if I'm ever going there.
- to stay in contact with all my friends, whether you want me to or not. Haha.
- to find my special someone and he to find me. but in the meanwhile, I'll need to do some house-cleaning.
- to find the courage to do that tedious house-cleaning.
It's a pity to see this chasm between us. Maybe it's your doing, maybe it's mine. I don't know. Because after all, you guys can never understand the workings of a female human being. But guys are pretty complex too or probably just in the department of relationship. We need to talk. Greys are always touchy matters.
Yays, happy birthday to my sad 19th year.
Tuesday, March 7
-10:15 pm
Waaaaahhh I just found out I need to work till the end of april.. And that means London trip is postponed!! BOOS!!!!! Thought I can finally leave the clutches of work at the end of the month but no!! Haiz, never mind. Maybe once the accountant gets back in the swing of things, they may let me leave earlier? Aiyah, it's not that I don't like them, in fact I think I've been very lucky to have them as my fellow colleagues and bosses. I have a boss who sends me home occasionally, bosses who are willing to act as mentors and teachers in life, colleagues who treat me as a little sister/daughter. It's really cool - though there maybe disgruntles amongst themselves.. I really like them.
But the thing is I can't take leave. =[ And sometimes there are nothing for me to do, and I don't really like to slack when there is no one to slack with me. Haha. Don't wanna get caught doing something I shouldn't be doing lor. Haha.
I wanna watch Munich. Damn it. Please do not change to saturday. It was my idea too anyways.
Sunday, March 5
-11:43 pm
wahahhaah.. i'm blessed!
maybe guy friends are better to have than boyfriends. lols.
didn't know he hasn't got over it. it has been so long for the both of us. oh wows. i need appreciate him more liao. man.
NTU boarding? Hehs. perhaps perhaps perhaps.
Thursday, March 2
-10:16 am
Sad. Disappointed lor.
But then, seemed like the cohort didn't do extremely well too, although there were supposedly improvements. Apparently the teachers were talking about it. It's not a very good consolation but it eased away some. I guess the biggest hurt came from not getting an A at all. I don't know. It just didn't and still don't feel good. It's superficial I know, Cs just look bleh. Pride is always the downfall of one. Oh well. I shouldn't complain much too. There are people who had worse but have a better outlook than me. Cheers for them!
Oh btw, I'm blogging at my workplace because I've NOTHING to do at all!!! Jeez.
