Thursday, September 28
-11:16 pm
Aiyes. I don't want school to start. Felt like there are thousands of millions of things that I haven't done.
On the other hand, if school don't start, I'll just rot my holiday away. It will never be put into good use. Not like as though my schooling weeks were very productive because of the slack schedule, but at least I'm making better use of time then than now. Aiyes.
Perhaps it's just hall is a more condusive place for studying, away from so much distractions. Bleh.
1) Because the internet connections are not very GOOD, so downloading of stuff are rather inhibited.
2) Because I heard that the school may be aware of such illegal downloadings, it just put off the idea all the more.
3) Beacause there are nothing much to surf around already, you just get down to studying.
4) Beacause I have a table, chair and a better lighting, I can study better there. The temptation of bed is so much lesser as compared to studying on the bed itself.
5) Because studying on the bed makes it worse while trying to fall asleep I had to use the floor which is not very comfortable.
6) Because even there is a TV in the room, the only show I REALLY want to watch is just Goong but even I can't watch that on a regular basis.
I need to chiong all my studying for the upcoming tests. Thank God I have been doing regular readings for HP101 or else I think I'll just die of sheer reading under those bulk. As well as HRM's. -sighs-
All right, already done what I've to do. Back to studying. Sians..........
Tuesday, September 26
-5:54 pm
My half of the room in hall is almost empty! haha. Brought all my stuff back home to wash but I FORGOT to bring them!!
Sian lor.
But I think I'm coming back on friday night anyway, 'cause next day still got open house meeting. At 10 fricking am. Imagine if I'd to come down from home? I'll have to leave home at about 8.15am can?? Wah lao. So stay I shall on friday night.
Had a wonderful weekend at downtown east with my 62 gals. Hahahahahaha. I miss them so much. =]]] Even though half of us are in NTU but we hardly get to see each other. Don't need to say more for those in NUS. =\ We must meet up more k? haha. Maybe we should have a gathering 10 years down the road. See how everyone will be like in the future. I wonder how the mixture will turn out to be like. The homebody, the career women, the swinging single, the wandering soul.
All right gotta head back home now for dinner..
Saturday, September 23
-12:14 am
"Kings will be your foster fathers, and their queens your nursing mothers. They will bow down before you with their faces to the ground; they will lick the dust at your feet. Then you will know that I am the LORD; those who hope in me will not be disappointed."- Isaiah 49:23 -Disappointed.
Disappointed.
Those were for H and me. Tomorrow's chalet is cancelled. Why? Because there's no point in it 'cause alot of people can't make it. Don't even know if a couple are really sincere in returning an answer. To those who really can't make it, it's all right. H felt really disappointed and sad by the turn-out. Like what the hell man - all the effort and bursting into nothingness. I thought we can finally have a chance to meet up again after sometime, especially those whom we hadn't managed to see for some time. -shrugs-
Turning jaded.
Anyways, onto some updates about life. Went to make my new spectacles just now. Eh, it's plastic material. New stock apparently. Quite colourful as compared to what I used to have - black frame. Haha. An upgrade I would say, from the usual nondescript colours I have favoured. Guess it's time for a little change. I am afterall a 19 yr old gal, I should learn how to be more colourful. =] But I think that's some time away from the ideal. And I think I don't really wanna get there. It's just not me. Although I want to have this and that, want to look like this and that, it's rather pointless to have them since I am NOT like that. Aiyes, but I have to look my age too right? And to appear as though I'm indeed somewhat into how I look. I do like flipping through magazines to look through the latest accessories and clothes, but always, I blanched at the cost and I don't know where I can get cheap versions of it. sadded. =x
Oh well.
Makes me wonder how I should encourage my kids to be both smart and fashionable.
Hmm, but they will need to be intelligent and rich first right?
Hmm. Tough.
Bah, let's talk about getting a boyfriend first la.
Haha.
Monday, September 18
-8:06 pm
"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God."- Philippians 4:6
I have a baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad day today.
=(((((((((((((
Definitely one of the worst that I can remember so far.
Aiyes.
Firstly, I forgot to bring my spectacles from home.
Secondly, assignment two for HW101 is up already.
Thirdly, found out from WJ that photocopying of books takes lots of time. Not a feat that can be accomplished within a day. (those people really take the own time to finish it. =x )
Fourthly, my phone's battery went flat. I'm uncontactable.
Fifthly, and because of that, I can't contact my brother when he helped me bring my specs to the mrt station.
Six-ly, I got pissed off with him by that. My fault I know, but really, why couldn't he just stay there and wait. Then I had to go home.
Seventhly, found out that he was out already. Waiting in the library. bah.
Eightly, I LOST MY SPECTACLES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! all the trouble of going back there to find it. haiz..
Nine-ly, C couldn't help me photocopy the notes. Now I dunno how to return the book to M when WJ hasn't got a chance to read anything. Stupid test. Sincerely hope he can find someone to borrow the book from.
So you see, how bad can the day get?!?!?!?!
Oh yah, later still got meeting. sians.
But hope is not lost yet. There's a lost and found website on SMRT. Maybe got chance to get my spectacles back. I don't want to buy new specs la, so ma fan and need to spend money. Money fly really fast when it's on a card. haiz. And I don't want to tell my mother about it. Haha. But thank God, although the specs got lost wandering around, my phone didn't. Which was really amazing 'cause both were in the same pocket. Now I've really learn my lesson well. Aiyes.
Shall pray about the recovery of my spectacles. And not worry liao. If for the next few days, nothing happens then I guess I've to tell mommy about it. =p
I don't want to survive on contacts. =(
Saturday, September 16
-12:17 am
"You gave abundant showers, O God; you refreshed your weary inheritance."
- Psalms 68:9My brother is ORD-ing soon. The time past doesn't seem fast nor does it seem slow. I mean afterall it has been 2.5 yrs for him. Soon, my younger brother will be serving for the nation. My mama's worries can't never end. Haha. And when I told her I want to go for INSTEP/GIP, she doesn't seem to happy about it. But since ah yee is going to stay in UK till 2008 and since she has a place there, I figured why not? It's a wonderful opportunity to study in a country that's just reek with the scholarly feel. Oh man, and the opportunity to stay in UK for a semester. Goodness. I think I'll just die of happiness.
So for now, I will mug HARD for my first year.
Somehow that may not be very possible with all the subcomms - publicity for Open House, business manager for hall, treasurer for CCF, I've joined. Oh no. What have I gotten into?
Friday, September 15
-11:21 am
"A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity."- Proverbs 17:17Here I am, with my Psychology text open in front of the laptop, U2 playing on my winamp and the storm brewing over the horizon.
I JUST CAN'T STUDY.
The text is just a decoy. I haven't study anything yet. And all I want to do now is to fall asleep on my bed to fight off the possible flu. Bah.
Didn't do much studying as I intended to last night. Went for the movie screening last night at the reading room. Caught Super Ex Girlfriend which was a little lame but okay la. Lucky didn't go to the cinemas for it. Would have thought it was a waste of money. Not many people turned up, as predicted and those who did turn up were the JCRC people and the block reps haha. I wonder if this is the culture now with the hall scheme being in the works. Really wish that they quickly decide on how to count the points or else hall can turn out to be boring. Kinda beating the well-known fact that hall life is supposed to be one of the hightlights of uni life. All right, maybe NTU's not as outrageous as NUS, so it won't take such a hard beating. Haha.
Hmm, group project for 102 is coming up. Hope it'll be an easy one haha. I like my potential group members to be. Shall see how everything ties up.
All right I should go study now.
Sunday, September 10
-8:08 pm
I haven't do my reading for State of Consciousness. But I've finished Human Development.
I haven't do my assignment for HW101. But I'm here to write a post.
I haven't do my readings for lectures tomorrow. But I'll be watching 2 episodes of CSI.
What a life.
Anyway, HW101 has been interesting. Though it's mainly a course to help us with our expository writing but nevertheless, I think it will be useful in creative writing as well. It have made me more conscious of my writing. And when I look back on past entries, I might not have been consciously aware of the rules, but I guess after reading for so many years, they are subtly embedding in my writing.
And I think I just lost my style and voice.
I don't know if it's because I haven't been expressing thoughts to words recently, I seemed to have lost my style of writing. I couldn't pen thoughts as smoothly as I used to be. Freewrite in the past seemed more easily done as compared to now with the teachings they gave in HW101. Or is it because I have become too aware of how people may interpret my thoughts? Anyhow, things feel different. Or maybe it's just the commentators from star sports on TV, messing up my thoughts.
Reading and writing are my outlets for this need for creativity. I have tried drawing but I never could get too far from copying and laziness stopped all efforts from trying too hard at it. The lack of proper training didn't do much for motivation too. Handicrafts had appealed at one time but again, the time and cost to properly fan the passion for them are too not worth it for a poor student like me. Excuses excuses they may sound, but truthfully I wonder if any of them can really top my love for reading.
I love books. Especially new books. The smell of the pages. The crispness of the pages. The marvel at which no one has touched it. I was at the new Bishan Library last saturday. And yikes I love it. Haha. The design is so modern but added with a touch of coziness. And one wonderful fact; THE BOOKS ARE ALL NEW! Golly, I was euphoric!. [Thefreedictionary.com said that such happiness may be not be necessarily founded, but it was very founded in my opinion. =)] And the sight of so many books by Nora Roberts was icing on the top. Speaking of her, I think I'll just cry if she stop writing.
I love her stories, her characters, her words, her imagination. Yes the stories may seem repetitive, but then romance is almost always about the resolve of conflicts, the strengthening of the characters, the happy endings. And I love her characters; men and women alike. Secretly I have always try to look myself in them but they are always failed attempts for afterall they are merely fiction and often idealistic. Oh, they do have their failings and faults but to me, because they are fictional characters, there is always a way out for them. It's too.. easy in some sense. So, not very real. Yet I aspire to be like the women she described in her books; strong in mind and the heart, confident, loving.
Nearly crossing the threshold of the 2nd decade of my life, I find that I'm a little too meek for my liking. Sometimes. Yeah, I can hold some semblance of my personality most of the time, but when it come to really giving an opinion, I can never really give a piece of my mind, face to face. I can only hide behind the comfort of my words. I wonder where I can take my first step forward to become a more confident person. A tactful one too. For when one crosses the line of confident, he will become arrogant. This yearn to be one who is sure of her footing in this world, will the journey towards it filled with obstacles to overcome, pains to endure and falls to pick up from? By far, I have been one who is cautious about her way of life. To put caution to wind, is it a sensible move? To be confident of oneself, is it against the idea of being a God-centered women? I don't know.
In this journey to find confidence I will not attempt to break from the herd nor will I attempt to be a smart-aleck. I'll pray that He'll be with me along the way. I've been given the gifts to be intuitive and sensitive, so I hope that with these gifts, I can find a compromise between the two seemingly conflicting ideologies. Perhaps this is a journey for life, but I sincerely hope that by the time I have children, I can help them along the way.
Ramblings for the day. Has been a long time since I've typed such a long entry. Maybe I'll do some proof-writing tomorrow. It doesn't seem coherent to me. Haha. For now, I really need to do my readings. Haha.
I really do hope someone has FIR's and Harlem Yu's newest CD.
Tuesday, September 5
-1:15 am
"In all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy"-Philippians 1:4Blog blog!
That's what I've been telling myself for the past few days. Well, forgive me 'cause there wasn't really time. Heh.
Anyway, I was just thinking that perhaps university life is so much more interesting than I had foreseen to be. Okay, so it maybe a little routine-ish, but if it is peppered with occasionally sports, meeting new people, staying up late at night to study/chat/msn, then why the hell not?! It's interesting life. I don't ask for a wild one - clubbing and staying up till the wee hours of the morning (1 am is not considered wee hours. haha.), just a fulfilling one. But the prerequistite - you've gotta stay in hall. This is probably the only chance to be independent before one gets married, unless one has plans to move out of the house and owns/co-own a bachelor/bachelorette pad. I've gotta take care of my own well-being - sleeping, eating properly; do my own laundry; earn a little more money to get what I want. Hmm, not much parental control now.
A little evaluation: So far so good. =]
Got to sleep soon. Or else I won't be able to meet WX to go to West Mall later in the morning.
