Sunday, March 30
-1:34 am
I think I know how depression can feel like.
The whispers of it wrap around me so closely that I just want to succumb to the bottomless pit.
BUT NO!
I shan't. It's a downward spiral with no bright possible future.
Perhaps a little exercise is all i need, after all, exercise do promotes the secretion of endorphins - happy hormones.
I should listen to less emo songs, even though they really fit my mood now. What I need now are those meaningless hypercute songs from Japanese animes. Meaningless 'cause I just can't understand what they are singing. Language barrier ya know? And because they have this crazy uplifting beat to it. And because they are singing too fast to catch anything. And I'm just too lazy to search for the romanjis and english translations. They do perk me up though, very successfully too.
Perhaps I'm just stressed. I have all the typical Asian symptoms of being stressed and depressed. Insomnia, listless-ness.. But I've a humongous appetite. I get hungry at weird timings. Like now? Lols. Or maybe I'm just trying to run away from deadlines. It's sickening to do projects on our own. Especially when you can't just settle down and get into the thick of things. There would be so many so many obstacles/things for you to settle. It's unnerving.
Can't wait for the hols to come.
WHY?
Because I'm going LONDON again. This time as a companion for my cousin who, like me 2 years ago, wants a taste of the English Soil. LOL. Don't ask about money matters. They are family matters.
But first, the reports and exams.
Saturday, March 29
-12:09 am
突然感到词穷。。 不知为什么。。 可能是因为伪装的自己已累了。真实的自己无法面对现实苛刻的要求，想要逃避而没精神了。
可能是英文看太多了，觉得乏味，不刺激。因为语言的能力就那么的一点，毫不起眼。
就累了吧。
精神支柱似在非在，无法触摸。这也应该怪我啦。没好好的去灵修，现在好啦，搞到自己成一团糟。
我想静静的吸取力量。Introverts都是这样得到力量的。
好想要一个人爱，好像被爱，可是又不想陷入泥沼。真是矛盾。哈哈。
或许会不再这写东西了吧。开始有这样的考虑了。因为毕竟还有一些非常私密的东西就是不能让人看到吧。一切的一切先告诉了主再和大家商量或许是一件好的事。
吃醋，嫉妒，羡慕，爱慕，自大，狂傲，懒惰 - 这些我都犯了，让我感到十分无奈。7大罪，我已不知犯了几个。应该是全部都中了吧。哈哈。
等待是一种煎熬。我必须学习。
考试要到了。应该专著于学业了。
我明天就会快乐，所以不用担心。：]Will be meeting 4E6 people tomorrow. Eh can't say I'm too excited about it since the people who are turning up aren't exactly people I was closed with haha.
Happy belated birthday Jiaqi.
Happy Birthday Alan.
Saturday, March 22
-6:06 am
Here I am, blogging at 6am.
Why?
Because I just finished a bloody report that is due on 12 midnight Sunday. All fault to me for procrastinating all of friday and in fact the whole of last 2 weeks. Urm, yeah well. You know me. :] (I can hear the buses working already!!)
One reason of procrastination is because I'm re-reading Ashbear's Dancing in Time. (found on fanfiction.net under FF8) But because I know there's no comrade love for games, let alone RPG games, I shan't elaborate further. If you are up to something good to read, just search for her titles and you can find yourself settle in your seat for the whole day. Maybe a little research has to be done to get the background knowledge, well, it's up to you.
Hopefully I'll get to take some pictures of sunrise~! Off to bed now. Good night/morning!
Wednesday, March 19
-12:31 am
I feel like a child today. :]
Did my best to study for the hours in school - I did one and a half of my three readings and went to all my tutorials and lectures.
But I played Blockus with Alan while waiting for Hui Ting to come. Then we headed out to JP for dinner and The Leap Years!
It was nice and heart-warming. A little tear-jerking too (as expected of all "estranged" love relationships lol). I liked how Li Ann went through all the leap years with all the emotions she must have felt. Anticipations, expectations, disillusionment, resignation etc etc. Feel so sad for her. :[ I just don't like the parts with the older Li Ann and the daughter. The quality is really... I'm pretty sure there's room for MORE improvement. :p The language is very american though. Kinda funny that we think too much singlish makes local movies kind of crass but being superbly authentic and while too much accent makes them more sophisticated but more unreal. Hmmm.
Almost 20 days into its screening and JP's theatre was still half full. I'd say it's a damn good achievement for a local movie. Hee.
Press on local productions! Haha.
Then I suggested to go arcade! It's been a while since I last visited an arcade. sobs. Missed it so much. Haha. Played some bishy-bashy and Time Crisis 2. :] And Hui Ting won for the game for Mario Karts. Zai! :] Heh.
It has been a good day laaaa.
Sunday, March 16
-10:46 pm
Whew, I'm finally done for the week.
Have been spending money throughout the whole week like water. O_o
Think this could be the first time I had spent so much over one week. Oh well, it's once in a lifetime thing anyway. :]
One more mass celebration with 62 people next sunday and I can finally conclude the march celebrations. And that means onwards to all the unwritten reports and projects that are due in 3-4 weeks time.
I hate semester 2. :[
Regarding INSTEP, I've already have half the heart not to go. All the waiting and applying have stripped much joy out of flying overseas to study, play and wander. The only push factors to INSTEP are just the experience of going overseas to study and possibly the avoiding of some responsibilities. (Haha) There are plenty of pull factors to stay in Singapore. Sighs. For now, emigration is still out of the question. Because: I'll missed the food and convenience here. :p Too pampered by Singapore society liao. Heh.
Thursday, March 13
-11:21 am
Dear Father Lord in Heaven,
I want to thank you for all the tremendous friends you have given me in life. They have been wonderfully sweet, interestingly hilarious, meticulously thoughtful, lovingly unselfish and the list could go on and on.
Thank you Mavis for the shopping trip on monday! We all got what we'll like to have! :] I love your Adidas jacket too!!! Heh.
Thank you my dearie Psychology friends! Now that Pei Jun, Wan Xin and me are "aunties" (in PJ's words) we'll wait eagerly for everyone of you to join the club. Hahahaha.
Thank you Amanda for eating lunch with me yesterday and being so everlastingly thoughtful. I hope you'll always get to bio good muscles every time you go exercise! Haha. Thank you for the presents!
Thank you Isabel, Mindy, Felicia and Elizabeth too!
Thank you Sharon for being prompt at midnight. Hahaha.
Thank you SAJC CO 04-05 for celebrating with me at Essential Brew! We even got a free membership there. Haha.
Thank you Open House 07-08!!!!! You guys have been WONDERFUL! (Really, are there any more synonyms to "wonderful"? Haha, I can't think too straight right now - lunch is not here yet!) Thank you for the almost-surprise. Heh. Sorry to have spoiled it. But Kang Xiao Ming's one was a success!! :]]]]] Thank you for the cake and drinks! I'm so sorry for depriving you guys of precious sleep! Hope you guys can wake up early today for lessons. Especially Alan.
Thank you thank you to each and everyone of you! I never felt so blessed in my life to have all of you around.
I love each and everyone of you and like I told the CO people, hope we'll have many years to come! :]
I give thanks with all the gratefulness in my heart.
My 21st have been stupendous! (yay I have another word! haha)
But Lord, could you please bless the weather too? Let the Sun comes out and shine the Earth once in a while. It has been rather cold and people has been getting sick. Bleh. No good when the exams are drawing soon.
In Jesus Name I pray
Amen.
Sunday, March 9
-9:56 pm
NTU Open House 2008!
It's done. 24 hours ago.
Wow. And my feet hurt like hell. One of them is swollen with 2 humongous mosquito bites and they look like vampire bites to me for a while haha.
Photo updates will be in a while since I'm at home and I can't be bothered to load them up on my home computer.
The programmes went on smoothly and without too much of a glitch. King Kong Jane (KKJ) wowed us with the performances and it's incredible thing for us too 'cause it's their last performance as undergraduates in NTU. They are going to release an album soon! Search them to find out more! I think they are a wonderful band 'cause the songs they do are songs I like. Hahaha. All the other bands were wonderful as well! I enjoyed most of them!! And they are all friendly people. :] As for the other cultural groups, it was fantastic as well! We didn't expect so many people to be enraptured by the String Orchestra. Salsa and DSA outdone themselves! We had raving reviews for them. George is seriously hooked onto the salsa girl. Hahahhaa. Aw, great job everyone.
Then there was the HOT Coca Cola girls who were distributing free coke bottles throughout the whole day. (The guys weren't too cute though :[) I think they generated much nosebleeds among the pervs. Haha.
The deejays from 987 and 933 did a wonderful job hosting and getting people to participate in the games. Not saying that our school's emcee clubs weren't good, (they were great as well) but I think the fame level of the deejays created more hype la. Heh. Wuxu Ma Li was very friendly too!!
We had fun, jokes, weird convos and a great time photo-whoring towards the end of the programmes. I think I'll never forget this day for a long long while.
Thanks to all the Vice-Chairmen, you guys have been wonderful in coordinating with the honchos and dealing with all our various requests and dealing with our tantrums for not getting them. Haha.
Events: You guys seriously rock! Like what Eunice wrote on MSN, Events is love! Will write more for each and everyone of you. I hope we'll still be around to do stuff together hahahaha.
Alan: The lame VC. I think you've been wonderful and responsible! Don't always say you lousy or what la, YOU ARE NOT! Everything has ran smoothly on that day! Cock-ups are almost always due to irresponsible people!
Wai Fun: The responsible and super busy VC. It's amazing how you actually juggle studies, work and school commitments! I seriously don't know how you do it. I think I'd gone crazy before I could even settle anything. I take my hat off for your hectic schedule.
Shueh Yi: Roomie for one day haha. FC is busy with all the receipts.. I've been a treasurer before so I know the tension of losing a single cent of the money haha. Glad none of that has happened to you! Or maybe I just don't know about it. Don't dwell too much on past events! You are a strong and optimistic girl and I know you will be stronger after them. :]
Jiaqi: *big hugs* I don't know if I'll ever be here without you! Enough said. Big love to you!!
Yu Lin: I hope everything is okay with you. I'm glad to hear you are doing well now. :] You had been a force to reckon with and I hope I'll see more of you around! Hope to see you around soon!
Internal: I think you guys have been tremendous fun. You guys definitely have ALL the characteristics of true ambassadors of NTU - fun, humourous and funky! And OH is so much more colourful with your around. I'll always remember Kang Xiao Ming! Heh. Publicity has been wonderful too! Your designs had blown us away. :] Boo to whoever who don't let us use the designs you guys have slogged over for.
External: Though quiet, I think you people are fun and interesting people underneath it all. Hope we'll still each other around in school!
OH 2008 rocks! I think we had a seriously great committee this year! :]
Wednesday, March 5
-12:29 am
I ate some pineapple rice with some vegetables at 10pm.
And now I'm hungry again.
Even if I'm not really hungry, I'm just itching to munch on something.
Sometimes I really think I've a worm inside my stomach. ]: Or I'm compensating for the lack of lunch for the past 2 days. Hahahaha.
Tuesday, March 4
-4:53 pm
It's less than 4 days to NTU Open House 2008! I'm pretty excited because this time round, I'm more or less involved in the planning. Hahaha. Last year was hmmm, slack la and I was the weakest member within that team so, nothing much was done. Then on the day itself, there was nothing much to do too.
So this year, in addition to doing something substantial - like drawing up the schedule of programmes and getting **** by irresponsible people, I'm in a very happening and garang cell. Haha. I had tremendous fun with them. :] Like just yesterday, Eunice showed off her superb garang guni imitation. Wahahaha. It really sounded like the real honk. Then the both of us showed off we could burp on command until Hui Ting and Pamela were too disgusted for words. Lol. Things that we do for entertainment.
As for those irresponsible people, I wish I could sic Cloud on them, kick their butt till they fly to meet Bahamut who will burn them with its hell fire. Rarh. Hate people who agreed to commit but still try to pull out. Duh. But lucky! We got our dearest VC who settled the problem!! Hahaha. Thank you sooooooooooooooo much Hui Ting :]]]]]
Alright, one presentation (considered) down, one project proposal down and one quiz down. What's remaining now is one more quiz, one tutorial reading and discussion to go and one Open House to kick off.
Suddenly I see light. :]
Thank God for Your strength. I don't know if I can do this without feeling trying to kill everyone in my path. I know I'm pretty stressed somehow 'cause my period has already came to visit me for the month! It was less than a month when the previous one ended. Gosh! But at least I'm free from this monthly trouble for my birthday! :] Hahaha.
Okies, back to online window shopping. :p
