Tuesday, March 31
-12:04 am
Wow I had my 600th post the last time and it was an emo post. Sighs.
Anyway, I'm just here to post 'cause I'm in a good mood.
There were good news, good happenings - like reaching home within 75 minutes! Who says trains are always the fastest huh; no more crossing over talks for FOC; no project meeting last minute; have good project mates, good progress and I'll get to sleep in again tomorrow! :D Praise the Lord!
Alright, I'm going offline to study liao. Cripes, I have yet to reply Sharon about dinner. -.-
Sunday, March 29
-11:40 pm
I'm so tired I really want to just sleep away my day tomorrow.
And I want to fly away from here so that I can see less of you.
Saturday, March 28
-11:12 pm
I was just telling Wen Yao that the past week was supposed to be my hell week, but to me the realisation only set in this morning. It is really amazing how I didn't seem to perceive that until today. I was in school till at least 10pm from Monday to Thursday and I reached school early in those few days too - to do projects or to go for classes. Mostly it was for projects.. I seriously can't fathom how the business people managed to deal with this kind of schedule for the past 6 semesters. Imagine not staying in hall but still have to stay in school late. It's really God's grace that I had survived. :D
I hope next semester won't be so busy since FYP is also going to be carried out concurrently. I don't know if I can actually do it without a breakdown. :[
Had my first Brothers and Sisters day with CCF on thursday and it was fun! Making the guys go through so many obstacles just so to get their prize And I found out Song Li and Wen Yao really know how to crap - looking at how they actually gave meaning to the presents. XD Haha. But I'm sure they are really well thought out even though some may seem hilarious. Stone - "You rock!" I think that's my favourite amongst the guys' presents. Then the girls were made to sing songs and charades. We definitely got off easy for that. Haha.
Now I'm troubled as to take up that MOE internship! sighs.
Trouble seems to be coming in from the horizon for FOC and a certain someone. For FOC, I hope all differences can be discussed through. As for you: all I can say - ignorance is not an excuse for stupidity.
Monday, March 23
-12:56 am
I spent time with the CO people today! X]
Been a while since some of us met and we got to know a lot more secrets! WOW. But I'm happy for you! I really think you are a nice guy Aaron. Hope you will have many wonderful days with your lovely girlfriend! Anything you can come and talk to me. Heh.
Well today has been a long day, starting with church early in the morning, song presentation, then rushing to SMU to do project. Honestly, SMU is not feeling any recession at all because the entire school and concourse area are air-conditioned. No wonder their school fees are so expensive. A lot of that are prolly going towards the air-con and the rental/construction fees of the school. Town area lands are expensive. But I'm not going to speculate more.
Almost didn't want to meet the CO gang because it wasn't confirmed (to me at least) till the very last minute.. And I think I pissed my mom off again for not coming back for dinner. Oh what the hell.
I unloaded stuff while with Aaron and it felt quite good for someone to know. I never like to share because such things for me are always short-lived. It feels as though if I said it out to anyone, they will die off pretty quickly. I don't know it's because I have lost the mysterious/awkwardness of the entire situation or by telling to someone in such stages actually jinxed it. At this point in time, *shrugs* I'm pretty alright if the end of the tunnel is dark. But I'll be excited if there is light at the end. I don't feel ready for anything. But let's just see where God leads me to. :]
Friday, March 20
-8:47 am
Qi Ren posted this on Facebook. I like what they tag me as - 'the one that won't take your crap'! HAHA. I think it suits me just fine so I'm not making a big fuss out of it. Let's list who the remaining characters are:
the singer: Bethia
the creative one: Kee Zi
the dramatic one: Shermin o.O
the intense one: Paul (fits him like a T! HAHA)
the awkward one: Lee Yang
the chill one: Alvin Tan
the mushroom lover: Jie Yi
the sheltered one: Anna
the misunderstood: Roland
the smart one: Mavis
the evil mastermind: Zhi Peng
the fatty: Wee Boon (I secretly thinks the picture is seriously cute hahaha)
the gangster: De Hui
the saviour: JESUS!
the hot one: Samuel
the technology illiterate: Hui En
the smitten one: Joshua
the confused one: Eunice
the party animal: Melvin
the referee: Alwyn
the whip wielder: Zhen Wen
the loud one: Rong Yang
the "good driver": Kee Hao
the not so innocent one: Jonathan (sighs to think he's my brother)
the quiet one: Benjamin (such a vast contrast from the one above)
the arrogant one: Qi Ren
Sometimes facebook is fun because of all these things. 19 notices. Thanks people, you guys sure know how to talk. HAHA.
Had a really busy week.. Had my first FOC 2009 meeting on monday and I can just slice the awkwardness with a kitchen knife. It was a combined meeting with the ECF people, since we are all meeting for the first time, I think it's inevitable to be unsure of the dynamics of the group. It wasn't a long meeting thank God, because both chairman/woman did try to move the discussion along so we settled on a theme that night.
Then Tuesday was steamboat! HAHA. Thanks for the guys who did a wonderful job in buying and cutting up the food. Makes me feel like a lesser woman. :\ Anyway, it was a feast literally! And a lot cheaper than Sakura buffet but by not going we missed seeing Song Li's boyfriend. Heh. Oh and I really love travelling at night, because I reached home within an hour of leaving school! WOW!
Wednesday is the only 'normal' day for me. I get to go to school like normal, and going back without staying back for any of the project meetings. I'm starting to hate projects already. Seriously don't know how the NBS/SMU people tahan so many in one semester.
Yesterday was CCF election day. I think this was the most fun I have ever been. Maybe it's the company - it's the fact that I know more people. Not that I didn't know the seniors, but it wasn't like the kind of relationships I'm having with the people now. It's more close and more fun I guess. Last night was the first time which I thought wouldn't it be nice if I could had come in with the this batch? Firstly I have more company in the form of Beth and Sher in CF, and then the freshie batch and then there would be seniors like Yi Ling, Xuan Zhang, Bao Ling, Shi Ya etc. But then again, I wouldn't have known the OH people if that's the case, because I would have gotten involved with CCF heavily and not want to join other events. Hmmm. It's really different don't you think? I hope this batch of freshies will be heavily used by God in CCF, seeing that so many of them have already began joining several committees despite being in Year 1. I don't remember myself getting so involved in CCF at that point of time. lols.
Well, I've gotta go liao. At first turning on the computer to send Man Yiu the minutes, I've officially wasted 45 minutes on facebook-ing and blogging. And I almost forgot how to spell minutes. -.-
Saturday, March 14
-11:08 pm
Thank you everyone for your birthday wishes! I'm officially 22. Sounds so old....... SIGHS.
Had a long and low key day yesterday. Was in school early, then met up with Amanda who so sweetly planned a surprise with all the other girls from SA. X] Thanks Amanda for your thoughtfulness! And thanks to the other girls who had found time to come down despite not having school! Thank you Elizabeth and Jiaqi for your presents. ;] Thank you Amanda for your treat. :] Thank you Hester for your letter. Heh.
Had to cancel with Keni in the evening though because of "big aunt". Thanks. -.-
It was Open House 2009 today!
It's a very different feeling because being someone who's supposed to work (ambassador) is very different from being a main-com-ner. Had fun and got to know more about people, good and bad. Listened to great performances - seriously love the hall bands except for a certain one. Shueh Yi was right about something. HAHA. Well, in the end, everything turned out well till a screw up at the end. Hmm hope it will be resolved well......
Anyways, it has been a tiring two days. Another long day tomorrow. Hopefully I'll get to rest after tomorrow!
Sunday, March 8
-9:42 pm
It is a tragedy and 2 deaths in a row is probably no coincidence, especially since they were working in the same lab and under the same professor. And that poor guy just started work last monday. No reason to hang himself..
And now they are saying there's a scandal probably going on. We don't know what we should believe in.
Suicide is/can be an impulsive act, according HP314a. External perceptions of the student can be positive - that he was still carrying on everyday life, nothing out of the sort, but then again, who would really have know or understand the trigger that could have set off the act. Overachievers are particularly at-risk because of the expectations they have of themselves and upon failing to meet them, the disappointment set in is very hard for us to imagine. Read somewhere that he is the President of the EEE club, but then it is nearer to exams already, I'd imagine things are winding down soon. And there's one point of contention - while he might not be intending to jump off the building, but NTU's corridor walls are rather high and though I know I'm short, I doubt someone can just fall off just like that.
Then again, if it's planned murder (this is such a harsh word), there's still a possiblity that the person is feeling ambivalent about the entire act no matter how well planned it is. Jodi Picoult's Nineteen minutes (I do trust her researches and findings on these matters) had shown me that. No matter from which party, the prof or the student, it really takes only a trigger. When at a vulnerable state, a lot of things can set it off. Of course this is a very pessimistic point of view (and psychology to a certain extent is).
A third possiblity is all these could just be a very misfortunate accident and misunderstanding. Sadly a knife has to be present in the room. Things just went wrong at the the wrong place and wrong time.
There are a lot of speculations and biases floating around everywhere. I guess all we can do is to wait for an official statement from somewhere. Not everyone can be satisfied, but at least there's a closure.
Deepest condolences to the families of all involved.
Yes NTU's reputation will drop but hopefully it will blow over.
And Open House is just this week. Again hopefully, it will be okay.
Disclaimer: This are all baseless conclusions and all that I got from the newspapers and blogs writing about the matter. There are NO extensive research nor listing of all the conclusions and speculations, it's just a mere summary and general feeling about it. Open House is near, my identity as a NTU student/ambassador is working up so that I don't feel cognitive dissonance when trying to attract potential students to NTU. So yes while the post looks bland and lack of feelings, I'm trying to be objective here too. And no, no one is allowed to link. Thanks.
Tuesday, March 3
-1:20 am
Many are tempted to ask "why" and to know God's plan in advance, but faith doesn't need the answers - it merely trusts that All things work out for good to those who Love Him. (Rom 8:28)
Saw this at an acquaintence's blog (hey he put up the website on his MSN!), so being the lurker that I am, I read it since it's also about his exchange period in Holland. And he just visited London, made me missed it terribly.
But anyway.
Sunday, March 1
-10:43 pm
It WAS recess week.
Unfortunately, my family's acer desktop decided to burn out on us, causing my brother to use MY laptop as a substitute for all his dota and internet surfing activities which led to the laptop being left outside in the living room so he doesn't have to use it in my room, disturbing my peace. Not that I don't like him here, it's just weird for him to be in my room for long hours just to use the laptop. -.- And so, because the laptop was not "solely" mine, I have this mentality to always 'snatch' from him so that I can use it, leading to me spending long hours doing nothing but play.
Does this scene sound familiar, if you have watched "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button"?
Anyway, I hate the idea of not having the laptop with me, even when I'm not studying. All in all, I have only completed half of what I need to do. And to my dismay, I forgot that HP406 has ethics certificate, ethic forms, consent forms and debriefing forms to be completed. Can anyone say sighs?
So now, I'm left with 2 reports to be done, one workload to be assigned tomorrow, a whole list of readings to be completed and a semi-working 'a' button. Thanks Jonathan. -.-
But then again, I think this is my happiest recess week ever. Because there's no quiz or report that are due!!!!! Well, there is a minor one but still. This is how I spent the week:
Sunday: Watched The Pianist! It was on my must-watch-movie-list for a long while. And it's no wonder that it won the Oscar because it's so emotionally wretching to see how the Nazis treated the Jews - all because of a sadist. It's especially so when they threw that old man over his balcony and his family were killed while told to run. They did nothing wrong but only to be borned as Jew (but even that race shouldn't elicit any form of genocide at all). So many times I looked on at the horror of what the Nazis did and so many times was I glad I was not born in that era of turbulent time - as like what I felt for Angelina Jolie's character in Changeling.
Monday: Went to school for a rather useless ambassador training session - sorry HT! and then subsequently hanging out with the previous OH comm members for a gossip plus information sharing session. HAHA. We spent like 2-3 hours talking crap. i miss our times during OH last year. :[ where we can just hang out after meetings and such, since most of us stayed in halls too. It didn't really matter what time we get back anyway. Haha. After that, I met up with Keni to watch Benjamin Button! I've waited with abated breath when I first heard about it. XD Because it was by Brad Pitt and Cate Blanchett. I think the latter is a wonderful actress. She's vibrant and versatile. I saw her in Babel, and thought that she brought out both her characters to life. :] Brad Pitt, although hot and deliciously young in his older years (what irony), didn't seem to have much emoting to do. Because the character had grown up with an old appearance, maybe he had learnt to keep his emotions in - to be a stable, unassuming and wise man even if his mental age doesn't say so. So maybe that's why there's this 内敛 thing going on. I read somewhere that his performance is reminiscent of Meet Joe Black. Hmm. Now that the person mentioned it, I certainly think it does. Sharon thought it was a beautiful movie, I had agreed. And I also thought that if Benjamin Button is a real life person today, he's also someone with deep wells of unspoken sadness and regrets because of the choices he has to make, especially not staying with his love ones and seeing everyone growing physically old and dies. Not that he won't die, but he won't know how he will die. The last scene where old Daisy was carrying young/old Benjamin was quietly filled melancholy, and all Daisy could do was watch this baby looking in her eyes, as though trying to say something and slowly close his as he passed away silently. IT IS SO SAD!
Tuesday: Went out with Sharon. She drove! Haha. Anyway, we went museum hopping - from the Peranakan Museum to the National Museum of Singapore. Up till now, I don't think we can quite figure out how is one a peranakan. One of our conclusion was that it's a chinese trader who married a local girl. But then, what if the local girl is a chinese? Do you still consider them as peranakan? But a thing to note is that, I thought that peranakans don't look full-blooded chinese too. Is it just an optical illusion? But well, it was interesting. Then we made our way to NMS because we still had time before Slumdog, so in we went and caught an exhibition of interior designs by a German designer. Some of them were really quirky ;]. Then we cam-whored. HAHA and went for Slumdog Millionaire. Actually I thought it was quite okay. Don't really know why it won the Oscars but prolly because of the different storytelling method, the bollywood-exotic unique-ness and the simple happily ever after - which is unlike the rest of the nominees I believe. The rest were all emotional heavy contents and blockbuster films and too thought-provoking I guess. I don't know. It's like a scent of freshness out of an industrial smog. Pardon me analogy, I'm pretty tired now. ;p
Wednesday: HOME. And I was happy about it. :D
Thursday: Met up with Aaron and Hester and she was late as usual. Had to rush lunch which was really horrible for me because firstly it was fish and chips which were damn oily, and it wasn't my first choice at all and secondly, we had to catch a movie at GV. Really hated those commercials. sighs. Enjoyed my day though as usual with those two. HAHA. But the movie, hmm, well if you have nothing else better to do but to cringe at how people play those gender mind games, this is the movie for you. It's nothing much, as Aaron said - "I don't see any point in the movie", just a basic chick-flick. And Jennifer Aniston really couldn't seem to break away from the "Rachel Green" mould (Sharon's comment). Not that I watched a lot of Friends, but it's prolly Aniston's image - she has maintained the same kind of hairstyle since I known her from TV I think. It doesn't seem like she has changed much except she now looks older.
Friday, Saturday and Sunday. I think I'll just blog another day or something. I don't seem to have the stamina to do anything for a long while now.
