Wednesday, March 28, 2007

God speaks.

"I am the Lord who comforts, who are you to be afraid?"

Posted by Jo at 10:50 PM

Sunday, March 18, 2007

Let God be God - A testimony

I was at the cc4 camp over the weekend and the Holy Spirit was moving so powerfully that everyone, paticipants and facilitators alike, was swept away by His awesome presence. I hope this testimony will lift you up if you're feeling spiritually dry, comfort you in your distress, remind you of your own experiences of the Holy Spirit, and affirm the fact that God is real and alive in our midst today.

During the outpouring of the Holy Spirit on Sat afternoon, I was at the back of the hall, praying for God to prepare me for the P&W session in the evening. During the prayer, I suddenly felt so overwhelmed that I started crying. Tears streamed from my face and I couldn't stop it. It went on for a good 15 mins - Me, simply standing there, with my hands stretched out, crying in the arms of God. After that, we were all praying fervently, desiring for the Holy Spirit and for the first time, I broke out in tongues. I can't fully describe how truly awesome the moment was, but at that time, I knew without a doubt, that God is real and He has been loving me every single day of my life. After I stopped crying, I felt a great sense of peace within, and I knew that it was God's way of comforting me, telling me that He will not give me a burden too heavy to handle. This month is a very busy and stressful month for me and before the camp, I was on the brink of losing it, but God, in His gentle spirit, assured me that everything is going to be ok. The other reason why I cried was because I wasn't at peace with my brother. This has been bugging me for a while and I failed to do anything about it, but during the prayer, the Holy Spirit opened my eyes to forgiveness and reconciliation, and through crying, I released the bottled-up negativity towards my brother and I'm now determined to make amends. Also, while everyone was praying, I felt an electric current running through my right arm. I knew it was the Holy Spirit flowing through me and empowering me to pray for the teens, so I went around with some facilitators to pray for them. That in itself was a powerful experience because people started to rest in the Spirit and I felt Him working, like I'm an empty vessel and He is the substance that flows through me.

In the night, we continued praising and worshipping God, and the teens continued receiving the gift of tongues and interpretation of tongues, healing, faith, prayer, and some of them rested in the Spirit. The amazing thing was, the facilitators didn't even have to go around to pray for each teen individually. Everything was running on auto-pilot and God worked His magic through His gentle spirit. During the debrief after the session, many of the facilitators shared that they saw and felt Jesus walking among the teens, healing them and blessing them. I, together with some others, heard a loud choir of angels singing and praising God together with us. Some saw images of Mother Mary, standing behind Jesus, being with Him in prayer.

Now, I'm fully rejuvenated and ready to face life's challenges again because I know that I'm not doing it alone. It was a truly wonderful and supernatural experience which left my human intellect dumbfounded. Aptly put by one of the facilitators, it was a camp where we simply let God be God. Amen.

Posted by Jo at 8:55 PM

Thursday, March 15, 2007

Desserts anyone?

This is an oxymoronic entry. The fact that I'm here typing away does not discount the fact that I'm very busy. In fact, I'm here typing away, precisely because of the fact that I'm busy. See, I'm rambling. That's because I'm highly stressed and bogged down by work and the only way to get away from it is to be here, typing away. I always thought I could handle stress fairly well. Looks like I haven't been put to the real test, until now. I don't even know how long my sanity will remain, but I hope I can last till the end of the year at least. That's 9 months away. Shit.

The thing I realised about humans is that they can be so unreliable. They buy you over with their sweet talk and kind gestures, then suddenly, "BAM!", they're gone, leaving behind a big pile of crap to be cleared. Blerdy irresponsible, two-faced, lying pricks. That's why I've learnt never to trust others too much when it comes to work. Always assume that it'll not be done and do it yourself first before you get utterly disappointed.

I don't think I'm a demanding person. Sometimes, I think I'm too kind, which is why I never run out of work to do. I admit that I have high expectations of myself. I strive to be a perfectionist but often, I fall short. No pun intended.

How do I know I'm stressed? My heart is beating faster than usual all day long. I suspect I may die of high blood pressure, if the ton of work doesn't kill me first. How else do I know I'm stressed? I think of work till I fall asleep, I wake up thinking of work, and work the entire day. Thank God I haven't gone to dreaming of work.

Should I say a prayer to make it all go away? Should I ask God to grant me more hands and time to do the work? Should I just be like one of those irresponsible pricks and leave everything alone?

Let's see. "Lord, u there? Pls hear my prayer, whatever my prayer is." Ok, I know what I need to do. Stop typing already and get back to work. As a friend, pls dedicate an hour of sleep to me. Tata.

Posted by Jo at 11:52 PM

Thursday, March 08, 2007

Pleasures

I need a moment.

What does that mean exactly? I have no idea, but for some reason, those very words found its way out of my mouth yesterday, when I was lunching with Rach. Got me thinking for a bit. Why would I make that sweeping statement? Why do I need a moment and what would I like to do in that moment? Should I disappear into the toilet for an hour or two? Will I be able to take the day off and vanish into the sunset? Can I book a flight out of S'pore and travel to where my heart takes me? As delightful as it sounds, somehow, those weren't the moments that I seem to be looking for. So I went about my day, feeling jaded, fast forgetting about that comment I made.

And as luck would have it, I found my moment today, in McDonald's. You know sometimes, you don't go looking for something but it comes looking for you instead? Ya, this was one of those times. I was eating lunch alone, which in itself was a nice moment. Silly me, to think that I could eat my glum away by ordering a happy meal. Anyway, I spent an hour eating, reading my book, and that, my friend, was the moment which I needed. I didn't realise until I was walking back to the office, how peaceful and happy I felt during that short time. Being in my own bubble even though I'm surrounded by many in the middle of crowded Orchard Rd. It's the same feeling as taking an afternoon nap and waking up feeling totally rejuvenated even though it has only been 15 mins.

If that's what they call the simple pleasures of life, I ought to be getting more.

Posted by Jo at 2:12 PM