Thursday, October 25, 2007
Melodrama on prime-time
I met a good friend for lunch last week and as he filled me in on the events of his soon-to-be-very exciting life, I found myself revolving in a self-destructive pit of envy and annoyance. Envy because this sort of good luck never seems to befall on me. Annoyance because some are destined to be showered with good karma without much effort.I thought about this long and hard soon after we parted. The good thing is that the envy I felt was not towards my dear friend. In fact, I am genuinely happy for him and wish him the best that life has to offer. Cross my heart.
It is a sucky feeling, however, to watch this melodrama of successful friends and acquaintance flash by - as if God had a teaspoon of favouritism in his coffee this morning. It's like going for a D&D and watching everyone at your table going up to collect a lucky draw prize while you sit back and clap. The ironic thing is that I feel like I am the one who's in this imaginary plasma TV, stuck behind the glass, being controlled by the Hand that holds the remote.
Yes, it feels good to walk on water and be led by someone other than your own selfish instinct sometimes. Yes, I sing about offering my life to Him and letting it be. And yes, I appreciate all the good things that has happened to me so far. But you know, sometimes, it's just missing the point. After all that's said and done, am I not entitled to a little earthly reward? Am I destined to just watch as others bask in the fruits of their labour? Even dogs have crumbs to eat, for goodness sake.
Maybe, just maybe, despite all my grumbling and griping, I settle too easily. My head tells me to take matters into my own hands and pave my own future. My heart tells me to let Him lead and simply follow. Even as I write this, I kick myself for sounding like a hypocrite but I know what's going to happen. Eventually, I'm going to give a shrug, raise my arms in submission and shut up. I hate it that He's always right. Ggrrhh.
I don't usually like to post song lyrics because it's like so unoriginal. But today, my ipod was on shuffle mode and when this song played, as much as I'd like to be stubborn about things, it put into words a tune which my heart sings and my head loathes...
"Sometimes I wonder what lies ahead
How long till my hunger's fed
They say it's hard to make it in this part of town
So many people on this merry-go-round
Some folks try astrology
Some turn to crystal balls
To find an answer,
To get through it all
I just fall on my knees and I try to pray
In the silence I can hear Him say,
The river runs and the river hides
Out to the ocean and under the sky
I promise you, the answer will come
Hold on to patience and watch for the sign
Everything in its time
I often feel like I'm two steps behind
Somebody must have moved that finish line
There are a thousand reasons
Why I should give up
But I'm stubborn in the things I believe
The river runs and the river hides
Out to the ocean and under the sky
I promise you, the answer will come
Hold on to patience and watch for the sign
'cause maybe there's another plan
One I still can't see
A little surprise, like your love in my life
Funny how time changes how we see
The river runs and the river hides
Out to the ocean and under the sky
I promise you, the answer will come
Hold on to patience and watch for the sign
Everything in its time."
Everything in its time - Corrinne May
Posted by Jo at 9:26 PM
Thursday, October 18, 2007
Call me scratchy
My skin is sooooooooooooooooo itchy! I behave like a monkey and feel like one. After my high fever last Friday, the sudden surge of perspiration must have caused my skin to break into a spastic allergic reaction and I can't seem to stop it! Must be my just desserts for the times I laughed at an ex-classmate AKA Gold Member. Hahaha...Oops.I've tried bathing in cold water, sleeping in extreme cold temperature, covering myself with prickly heat powder until I look like a ghost, applying layers of aloe vera gel - enough to have a housefly stuck onto my skin...Unfortunately, all these only provide a temporary relief.
I'm desperate...If you have a remedy - permanent one, drop me a message. If it works, I will give you a hug. And maybe buy you dinner, if I like your face. In any case, I will be eternally grateful.
And for the record, I don't get distracted by shiny objects, push on a door that says pull, or have a blonde moment lor...Silly Facebook. =)
Posted by Jo at 9:51 PM
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
And what is Christmas...
...without the presents?
(Hope you guys are enjoying the 3rd issue of G!)
Remember, if you have any recipes, photos, questions, testimonies or feedback to share, drop us an email at: g-mag@christtheking.com.sg. And in case you didn't notice (on page 40), you stand to win 2 great books: The Alchemist and My Sister's Keeper. What are you waiting for? Email us now! =)
Posted by Jo at 10:30 PM
Sunday, October 14, 2007
It's closer than you think...
I was pleasantly surprised to be greeted by ornaments of red and green while window shopping at Plaza Sing this afternoon. The fresh shelves of reindeers, mistletoes and sleigh bells were a pleasing sight and I, in turn, greeted them with a stomach stirring with nostalgic excitement. For one, I couldn't believe that Christmas is barely two months away. I looked at Hil, hoping for his shared sentiments, only to get this - "What do you expect? It's already mid Oct ya know..."Hellooooooooooo grinch.
Anyway, I was so delighted and uplifted by the pretty sight that my heart literally released my boxed-up Christmas spirit. A time of celebration and merry-making and giving. A time where the world seems to slow down and the air of love is all around. Aahhh...I can't wait.
There is one outstanding personal issue which I need to settle though. And I know it needs to be done fast. It is my duty and my onus to see that I clear up this mess which has been bugging me for weeks. It almost feels silly and childish but at the same time, I can't seem to control myself and feel anything less than sheer annoyance and resentment.
In a way, I'm glad that Christmas has come early for me this year. I feel more determined than ever, to make this right and I hope I have the courage and patience to see it through.
Posted by Jo at 7:28 PM
Tuesday, October 09, 2007
Freedom writer
I finally get a breather after a very challenging few days, and I'm glad it's over. I've almost forgotten how it feels like to be free: To be able to 'nua' the evening away. To type my blog without thinking of work. To watch guilt-free cable. To do silly things like sign up for Facebook. (What's with that anyway? I just don't get it.) To lie in bed and have a good read. To head out for supper and grow fat with Hil.Well, this window of freedom is temporary, unfortunately. In less than a week, I will embark on what I'd like to believe as my final lap of madness for the year: My final two assignments + one exam paper for Uni. Going to school these days isn't quite as painful as before. Maybe becos I know the end is near. Sweet.
I hate being in dilemmas, especially when it involves something like choosing a new job or going for an all-expense paid trip to Bali. For now, I'm more inclined towards the latter, but that's only because I haven't heard any news from my potential employer yet. Well, ok. I guess the decision ain't that difficult. I know what I want and when I'm made to pick between the two, the choice is obvious.
When times are tough, it sometimes serves as a wake-up call: reminding us not to be complacent, helping us realise that some things are just not meant to be, and affirming the fact that some things are. I'm glad that the challenges I faced in the past weeks have offered me fresh perspective on things.
Nowadays, I look forward to train rides to work. Being with my newfound companion makes the morning a little easier to get by. To You: I wish we could ride from Jurong to Simei everyday, enjoying each other's company. I wish that our time together would never end. Thanks for the idiotic laughter you made me burst into in front of strangers. For the eye-rolling moments when I couldn't resist your dimwit demeanour. For the most outrageous things you do - much to my shock & horror sometimes. Indeed, the fish went to the hospital in the toilet and never returned. Thank you Hil, for season 3 of The Office neatly installed in my ipod!
