The Bradford's

I know toddlers walk around with bumps and bruises, I know that they get into things they shouldn't and accidents happen; but seriously this week AJ is trying to make my hair turn gray!

AJ is crazy about doors lately, so every morning I have to go through the house and close every single door so she doesn't pinch her fingers. Saturday morning Randy left for work and AJ was helping me fold laundry, I went into the bedroom to hang some clothes up and of course my little shadow followed me in and then wanted to play "slam the door in moms face." So I pulled her out of the room and went to close the door; little did I know my little bug was trying to sneak in on the other side of me. I closed the door and she started screaming; she had stuck her little pinkie in the door jam right as I was closing the door. Her finger looked HORRIBLE  the tip was miss shaped and her entire finger was purple and blue. We were both hysterical when I got a hold of Randy. Randy rushed home while I called my sister in law Meg- who has a medical background- to get her opinion on taking AJ to the instacare. She agreed with me that the finger should be looked at. We got X-ray's done and the Dr said that everything looked just fine, she had a badly bruised bone but besides losing her finger nail she would be fine. PHEW! first major medical freak out over let's never let that happen again!
OH WAIT! the next couple of days AJ was running into walls, falling flat on her face, and even tried to take herself out with the dishwasher door. I have been on edge, but it was all minor stuff.
But then today happened. AJ and I were over at my mom's helping her cook dinner. AJ loves to be in the kitchen and if someone is standing at the stove she has to know whats going on up there. This was the case today so while my mom carmalized onions I decided to sit on a stool near by so AJ could see all the action. I had just put a pot on the back burner to simmer when AJ with her long arms reached out and hit the front burner with her palm, I reacted instantly and grabbed her hand as fast as I could, thinking at least it was okay because that burner was off. Well apparently I turned the wrong burner on and AJ's little palm hit a hot burner! The next hour was pure hell as I tried to calm her down and take care of her burned hand. She was hysterical to say the least. Thank Heavens for Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, watching Mickey was the only way I could get AJ to stop crying. By the time Randy got there she was calm and not worked up over her hand. The burn is not bad, no blistering or anything, just in a sore spot that is overly used by my little bug. We bought burn cream and bandages, I know she will be just fine; but the guilt of what has happened over the last four days is monumental to say the least.
I know that accidents happen, and that really the things that have happened were not my fault. But I cant help playing the blame game with myself: I should have picked her up before closing the door on Saturday, I should have just let her cry today instead of picking her up and sitting close to the stove. I should have double checked what burner I turned on....the list is endless. I'm sure there are some of you who will read this post and think, "wow she really is a bad mom, I would never do that." and I hope you never have to go through what I have in the last couple of days because watching your baby cry, knowing its because of you or something you didn't do to keep them safe is the worst thing in the world. Please don't judge me too hard, I'm doing a good enough job of it all on my own.
Being a mom is tough, the best thing in the world, but tough none the less. I am so grateful for my baby girl, she really does mean the world to me and I thank my lucky stars that even though I am the cause of all her many tears in the end she wants me to hold her and make things better.

I mentioned a few months ago that my mom was going in for a full hysterectomy and double mastectomy. She had her first surgery in February and her second the end of March. She is such an amazing example of true courage to me.
Many of you have asked me why she had these radical surgeries done at her age,- she's only 52, a pretty young age to be having these things done.- The simple answer to that is because she has a mutated gene that has been found to be the cause of Breast and Ovarian cancer. Its amazing how many medical advances we have when it comes to our health now days. Last spring my mom's aunt called her and asked if she would be willing to be a part of a study being done at the Huntsmen Cancer Institute. My mom's dad died of prostate cancer when he was in his mid 60's and her younger sister was diagnosed and later died of breast cancer at the very young age of 34. My moms aunt had done a lot of family history and found that there were many people in the family that had died of cancer at pretty young ages.
The story is pretty long but my mom ended up being tested for the BRCA 1 gene mutation that has been found in other family members. She tested positive for the mutation, and had a lot of options opened up to her. She prayed and talked with my dad and in the end decided to go with the ultimate sacrifice of removing all tissue that could cause any problem. She is so strong and brave!
With my mom having this mutation there is a 50% chance of me having this gene and in turn passing this gene on to my kids.
My biggest fear is being diagnosed with breast cancer. My moms sister had 4 small kids when she died, I watched her and her family fight this horrible battle. She was amazingly strong. But it terrified me! I would wake up in a cold sweat having horrible dreams of dying young of breast cancer. It is a very real fear for me. Testing positive for this mutation means your chances of developing breast cancer go from 10-12% to 50-80% developing ovarian cancer goes from 1-6% to 20-60% Those are come very serious numbers.
 So with that in mind I decided to be tested for this same gene mutation. A week and a half ago Randy and I met with a genetic counselor to be tested and go over all my options if I tested positive. Testing positive would mean going in every six months for either a MRI or a mammogram starting immediately. I would also be screened every 6 months for ovarian cancer. I was told I too could have surgery to remove everything but they would want to hold off on that until I was at least 35, since such surgeries would throw me right into menopause.Or I could be put on a low dose pill form of cheom that I take for 5 years that would reduce my risk by 50%. I left there feeling scared but also empowered with answers, I was worried about having more kids, what it would mean for our family. Both Randy and I felt better after having all our questions answered and we went home to await the results.
Today I got a phone call from our Genetic Counselor she told me she had just received my results not even 5 minutes before calling me. I tested NEGATIVE for the BRCA 1 mutation! This means I drop down to the average normal population of women who only have a 10-12% chance of getting breast cancer. I wont pass this gene on to my kids or their kids. I still have my fears of course, maybe its just negative thinking on my part but I do fear I will be facing Breast cancer at some point in my life, but at least I wont be a mom with young babies at home when it happens.
I plead with my siblings to go be tested, I know its scary, I know making that appointment takes time, and that facing this is a hard thing, but I left Huntsmen's knowing that no matter what I would have answers in a few weeks, and those answers would give me power to face my fears with options that would keep me health!
For the rest of you, if you have a family history of Breast Cancer take it seriously, look at your family history and seriously consider being tested. With family history proof most insurances will pay for the test since its a preventative measure. My aunt found a lump in her breast a year before she was actually diagnosed with Breast Cancer. She lost a lot of valuable time by being afraid. Asking the questions is scary, but having the answers gives you power.

AJ's party was the same day as our move. It was crazy insane and stressful but turned out all right in the end.
We spent the night before at our new place so in the morning Randy went off to pack up the rest of the apartment and AJ and I headed over to my mom's to get things ready. My sister Jen and my mom watched AJ while I did my thing. Once the move was done Randy came over and helped with the last minute touches.
Big Huge Thanks to my parents for letting us use their house and to Jen and Carl who drove all the way up from Cedar to be there for this special day and help move and calm me down while I was going into panic mode.

AJ was spoiled completely. Really guys, you all did way too much for her. THANK YOU!

Grandma & Grandpa Johnston gave AJ a beautiful handmade minki quilt that Glenda has worked so hard on. She and Grandma Horrocks created their own pattern for this quilt and I love it!

Grandma & Grandpa Engh gave her a new outfit and money in a saving account they have set up for her. I really love this idea my parents came up with for the grand kids. It will be a nice little nest egg for AJ one day.

Nanny &  Pappa gave AJ  a fun finger puppet toy and some super cute clothes. Including an adorable Tinkerbell shirt I can not wait for her to grow into

Jen & Carl gave her a really cute outfit plus a Minnie Mouse and a my little pony toy

Jo & Josh gave her an adorable outfit with red skinny jeans that I wish I could have her wear every day.

Ty & Meg also gave her clothes. Our little girl is set with awesome outfits for the next couple months!

Both of my Grandparents gave her some money to add to her savings account.

And Randy's Grandparents Ma & Pa gave her some fun new Toys that she has loved playing with

Brenna & Ryan gave her Randy's favorite present of the night Little People superhero toys! Seriously he was way excited about it.

And Sweet Jess who works with Randy gave AJ a ton of books and some really cute bath stickers, book, and a washcloth that is a hand puppet that AJ cant get enough of when we are in the shower.

Seriously, Thank you so much everyone for spoiling our little bug! She loves you all so very much!

We did a Minnie Mouse themed birthday party. AJ wore a tutu with a ballerina shirt and mouse ears. I made her a smash cake that had a pink batman symbol on it ( Randy's one request)

We had a Minnie Mouse cupcake cake, an ice cream sundae bar and Minnie Mouse Cake pops Thanks to Nat. It was quite the party!
Thank you Glenda for all the ice cream toppings, Jen for the ice cream, and Nat I seriously owe you BIG for those cake pops they were AMAZING!



 We did a cake smash with AJ but she didn't really smash she just ate it delicately till she had enough and then said done. That's our girl!
Thank you, everyone who braved the weather and came to celebrate with us! I meant to get a picture of AJ with each of you, but things just got crazy....oh well!

Ugh! I hate that it has taken me this long to write about AJ's Birthday. Things have been so super crazy and we only just got our internet set up. (Can I just say that I hate Comcast/Xfinity. They are a major pain in the booty) Anyway the move went great! I am so grateful that we have such amazing friends and family who are willing to put up with our crazy antics and are always so willing to help us with anything we need. Carl, Josh, Ty, Dad, Mike, Ryan, Uncle Stan, Mom THANK YOU so much for helping pack, move boxes, letting us use the trailer and moving all the big stuff in the snow! You are all my heroes! Randy, my love, you are amazing! He lugged every box I packed down three flights of stairs and into our new place every Tuesday and Thursday for three weeks. Baby you are a superhero to me!

Okay, way back in August Randy and I started looking for a new place to live. We looked everywhere for the right apartment; we finally picked our current place and we love it here. We signed a year long lease....this was kind of a bad choice since we knew Randy would be applying for a promotion in May, and the promotion would probably be out of state. Smart right?
If you know me, you know I am a worrier. I stress about things I have no control over and things that are far far in the future. So of course I have been stressing about the fact that we have a lease that goes until the end of September and Randy could be moving out of the state anytime after May. Two weeks ago we were having a discussion about what to do when Randy gets promoted and we start throwing around ideas of how to get through our lease and all. I mention that my Grandma Whitmore's basement apartment is empty and maybe we could move in there in May while we wait to hear about the job. The more we thought about it, the more moving now would be really beneficial for not only us but for my Grandma and Mom. My mom is amazing, she takes care of her mom with all her needs. But my mom is going in for a hysterectomy and double mastectomy in the middle of March. She will be recovering for quite a few months and has been worried about how she could rest and let her body heal and take care of her mom. With us living in the basement my mom will be able to relax and my Grandma will know someone is with her if she needs anything. It is a win, win, win! YES!!
Of course this means that we are moving out not even 6 months after moving in! We haven't even settled in all the way yet.
For the last week and a half I have been packing. I have been packing two different ways. See the new apartment is a lot smaller than the one we are in now, so I have to pack long term and short term. Long term boxes are going in storage and short term boxes are going to the apartment with us.
On top of my worrying I am also super anal about organization. Since we have to put things in storage I have to know where everything is, so each time I pack a box for storage I have to write down everything that goes in the box, then I have to give that box a number. This way if I need something for the kitchen I can go to my excel page and find which box its in! Ta-da! I'm a genius. Yes, Randy says this is a bit extreme but I know it will save me a lot of frustration later this year. Because lets face it I will need something that I thought "oh, I wont need that." :) 
  Our house is an organized mess. There are things everywhere and I am a little lot stressed. But its okay because it will all be over in two weeks! Oh hey did I mention that the day we move we are doing Addie's Birthday Party? Hahah yeah more on that later! I'm insane!

I have to be better at keeping my blog up to date! It's a must! I suck at writing in a journal so the only way I will be able to remember what Addie did and when. So yes, yes it is a must.
So quick update!

Randy is doing awesome with his job! He is in the top of his store every month, his bosses love him, they say that his attitude is what makes or breaks the store for the day. He is right on track to being promoted at his year date! Yay! He is also finishing up his last big semester at school. He is taking 15 credits and working full time. I honestly don't know how he does it all, he is the best husband ever!

I quit my job back in September. It was not an easy decision to make, and it has been difficult to learn to live off one pay check, but I love being at home with my baby girl. I am amazed at how busy my little bug keeps me. Being at home is the best thing ever, I love having time to play and teach Addie. Its amazing to me how quickly she learns and changes. I have been trying to cultivate new hobbies and talents, and I have learned that I am pretty good at cooking. I have really enjoyed trying new recipes and even coming up with my own. Randy keeps telling me I need to start posting my little adventures...maybe I will.

My little Bug is 11 months old! Where did the time go? Last year this time I was anxiously awaiting the arrival of my baby bean, and now I have a toddler. She is such a little punk, the perfect mixture of Randy and I. She knows exactly how to push my buttons and how to get her way. I love the faces she makes and her babbling/talking. She is obsessed with reading books, every morning she goes to her bookcase pulls all of her books out opens them. She is getting so close to walking, she has taken a few little steps but hasn't decided to be all the way brave yet. She says mom all the time (Which I LOVE BTW) and when Randy asks her to say dad, she smiles at his and says, "Bob" hahahaha (I also love that).

That catches us up for the most part from here. I will be checking back soon I promise!

Can you believe that my baby girl is 4 1/2 months old now! So crazy! And I'm really sad that I haven't kept up with my blog. (but I love my husband so everything is okay!) So lets play catch up! These last few months have FLOWN by! I honestly can not believe its July, I swear I gave birth just a few weeks ago. Our little bug has gotten so so big. At her 4 month appointment she weighed 13 lbs and was 24.5 inches long. She has these chunky little legs and cheeks I just love kissing them! She LOVES to smile. Its actually amazing how much she smiles; all the books say babies don't really smile till about 4 months, but Addie smiled the day she was born and has continued to do so every day since. She is now rolling over and sitting up in her Bumbo. She started cereal about a month ago, watching her learn to eat was one of the funniest things in the world. She loves eating! She loves playing on her play mat and reaching for her monkey and elephant. She is the most curious little girl in the world! I was lucky enough to spend 7 weeks at home with Addie before I had to go back to work. I am so lucky I have the job I do, where I can take Addie with me and not have to pay someone else to watch her. As much as I love my job, I can not wait till this fall when I go part time and I can spend more time at home focusing on my baby girl! On top of Addie growing and changing each day Randy got a new job! He is now a sales rep at AT&T. He had a full month of training in Phoenix which totally sucked. I have a whole new respect for single parents! But now he has been in his store for almost a month now and he is loving it. He is the number one salesmen for not only his store but for his area and fourth in the state! AMAZING! And Finally my Big little brother got married to the love of his life this past weekend! EEEEEK I am so excited and happy for Dave and Emily! They were married for time and all eternity in the Manti Temple on July 7. It was so much fun spending the day with the family.