Wednesday, November 29, 2006

Tome Of Whispers Entry: Immortals

Wednesday 29th Nov 06 11:00pm

The following entry is written based on information i have gathered either through written archives, online and my own understanding on the mentioned article. Readers are free to either agree or disagree with what i have written. Read with an opened mind.

I have always been interested in the supernatural since a very young age. Thus, Whenever i have time, i would satisfy my own curiosity by reading and or researching on the supernatural. The few things that are on my mind are demons, monsters, Gods, Spirits and so on and so forth. Hence, as a Pagan practictioner, i have started my own "Book of shadows" Which i have named "The Tome of Whispers". The following will be one of many such entries i have and would like to share with my readers. The first entry i would like to touch on are the beings known as "Immortals"

What Are immortals actually? As a chinese, we have always heard of Immortals. Such as the 8 Immortals (Ba Xian) So, what are they? What is an "Immortal"?

Immortals are basically beings who have attained a shourd of "holy aura" or "Xian Qi". This is done by extreme meditation and gathering of "Xian Qi" from nature. Everyone of us are born with a natural aura known as the "Yang Qi". This Aura is what keeps us alive and our physical bodies working. This aura has the potential to grown and evolve into "Xian Qi". Although the process in itself is difficult and almost impossible to attain for a normal human being, especially in our time when our very own nature forces itself is tainted by pollution and radio/air waves. Immortals are also masters of a skill, be it martial arts, medicine, music so on and so forth. By evolving their "Yang Qi" into "Xian Qi" (Normal to Holy Aura), they possess certain powers. These powers include the ability to heal themselves from mortal damage, slowing their ageing process, great speed and strength, Telekinesis and sometimes even teleportation. This, coupled with their mastery of the skill/object of their craft. E.g, An immortal of an element, say water is able to control this element freely to augment his/her powers. Although the access to their powers is directly connected to the amount of "Xian Qi" they have. As with all types of energies, it CAN be depleted. Although Immortals have gained immunity towards mortal damage like illness, knives, poison, they CAN be killed. Either through a weapon blessed by magic powers or an invasive blast of Holy Aura by another immortal. As immortals are still confined to their physical bodies, The bodies Can be damaged beyond repair. This happens when the mortal body can no longer be "preserved" by the immortal's "xian qi" although this process can take thousands of years or when the "Xian Qi" of the immortal is striped from the body. This can happen during a major battle with another immortal or a high level monster or demon.

Gaining immortality is NOT confined to humans though. All living objects can gain immortality like animals, flowers and insects. In rare cases, even objects such as stones or pictures can be "immortalised" under the right conditions. However, since animals and flowers tend to have much lower intellect and "Yang Qi" as humans, their process is much longer, even stretching to the thousand years mark.

Immortals are also "free agents". Meaning they do not have holds or responsibilities in our world. They are free to roam the earth and do their magic as and when they deem fit. There are immortals who have chosen to take on a specific role in aid of mankind. These Immortals are known as "Deities". The famous "Tu Di Gong" or "Earth God" is such an immortal. He uses his mastery of the earth to provide and protect those that pray to him. His aura is also strong enough to repel most spirits and ghosts. Contary to belief, there are actually many different "Tu Di Gongs" in different areas. As many Immortals can take up the role of an "Earth God" if they so choose.

As amazing as their powers may be, Immortals are also bound by certain restrictions. As the amount of holy aura they have on them is cultivated and "earned", they are confined to using their powers on themselves. Meaning, they are not able to "bless" an object with powers as this would mean parting with their own holy aura into the object itself. They can, however, imbue the object to their own aura, with the object granted powers only as long as the immortal himself is linked to the said object. They also cannot bring the dead back to life. As each immortal has a unique Aura, one immortal cannot undo a spell or a curse done by another immortal, although they can change the circumstances in which the spell or curse is set by effecting their own will upon the spell or curse. An Immortal cannot kill or harm an innocent as a wrongful death can reduce the amount of Holy Aura they have on themselves.

As with the nature of things, all good influences has opposites. Evil Immortals are also known as Immortals even though there maybe certain names associated with such beings. Such as Jinns, Demons (Yao Jin), Creatures (Yao Shou) and Devils (Yao Guai). They work the opposite way as the "good" immortals as they thrive on negative energies for their immortality and powers. Their Aura is known as "Yao Qi". Their main forms of attacks are Curses and Spells. They gain more powers when they kill or feed on innocents or people with "good" aura, corrupting the good aura into bad aura in the process.

An immortal's next stage of attainment is to a "God" or "Shen".

In my next entry, I will talk about what are "Gods" or "Shen"

Stay Tuned.

EarlGrey

Sunday, November 26, 2006

Fear

Sunday 26th NOV 06 11:55pm

I fear that i may lose him. If i have not already. We don't talk or meet as we used to. Maybe it's just because of our age gap. He has his own life and i mine. We suddenly can't communicate anymore. I tried asking him out a few times. He declined everytime.

Jon asked me why i continue loving him and caring for him when i know in my heart that he will never accept me. Honestly that's what i want to know myself.

Have you ever loved someone before? Maybe when you have, you will be as stupid as me. I told Jon he has it easy. At least when he likes a girl, he will have a higher chance of getting that love returned. He just needs to get his self confidence to ask the girl out. That's why people choose to be straight i guess. Doing what is right.

Only idiots like me wants to go against nature. Thinking that somehow we can win.

There is this saying "True Love conquers all". That's really a bunch of Bull Crap isn't it? So long that it's not a boy-girl scenerio, there is no such thing as true love. I learnt it the hard way.

MingZhe, Raymond and now him. Three times i tried. Three times i failed. TOTALLY.

All times i really gave my all. But then i got myself slapped in the face for just trying.

I am really tired. He's not very handsome by standards. But he is perfect in my eyes.

I don't have much time left.

Maybe i should just go and get myself some boy from the local gay community. You will be suprised how much "love" $300 can get you a month. There are actually very young boys who are willing to do that for the money, believe it or not. Yes. I was shocked too. During my time, even the mention of the word puberty was considered a bad word. How times have changed.

You see people poking holes in their bodies to put all sorts of studs, punky hair and outrageous hair colour, Tattoos all over the body, Foul language in every other sentence and YET, Amazingly, there is no change in the mindset towards same gender relationships. Sheesh.

I am really emotionally spent.

I should just stop. But you know what? I can't. No matter how much i try to forget him, i remember him more.

Someone please hire a hit man and put a bullet through my head.

You will be doing me a favour.

Really.

EarlGrey

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

The Devil

Wednesday 22nd Nov 06 11:00pm


You are The Devil


Materiality. Material Force. Material temptation; sometimes obsession


The Devil is often a great card for business success; hard work and ambition.


Perhaps the most misunderstood of all the major arcana, the Devil is not really "Satan" at all, but Pan the half-goat nature god and/or Dionysius. These are gods of pleasure and abandon, of wild behavior and unbridled desires. This is a card about ambitions; it is also synonymous with temptation and addiction. On the flip side, however, the card can be a warning to someone who is too restrained, someone who never allows themselves to get passionate or messy or wild - or ambitious. This, too, is a form of enslavement. As a person, the Devil can stand for a man of money or erotic power, aggressive, controlling, or just persuasive. This is not to say a bad man, but certainly a powerful man who is hard to resist. The important thing is to remember that any chain is freely worn. In most cases, you are enslaved only because you allow it.


What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.



The Devil. Of all cards in the freaking tarot deck, i am the devil. No suprises there. With the way things are going in my life right now, it's a wonder i have not been struck by holy lighting. *shifty eyes*.

Sometimes i don't understand parents. Can anyone of you make any sense of them? Really. What do they want from us? Or rather, what do they expect? Or do they just WANT, and dun give a freak care to what WE want?

Am i making sense here?

I recently told my mum i'm opening a cafe. Her reaction? "There is no future in a cafe" "How much can you earn"?

Word in word out. MONEY. It's VULGUAR.

She even questioned me as to WHY i was so stupid to do the Danzation production for free.

IT'S MY SISTER. She asked me for help. I do this for MY SISTER. Surely you don't get all calculative to your OWN family members?

I was so SHOCKED she could even say that to me.

Why does she always have to think about the big figures? About status and power? Yes, so she is living richly now. She drives an expensive car and has all the platinum cards in her wallet. But even with all those things, can you take it to your grave with you? Life is really not all about YOURSELF. There are other people out there too.

She said that i won't go anywhere with a cafe under my name. So, in that sense, a taxi driver is nowhere too. A hawker who sells food is nowhere too? How many professions has she just insulted by that one thoughtless remark?

It's a decent living. It pays the bills and puts food on the table. What else can a person ask for? If you keep asking for the moon and you only can get some rocks, does it mean that you will never be at peace with yourself untill you get that moon, come hell and high water?

So do you live for the money or live to have a full and enriched life?

All i wanted was encouragement for the things i like and want to do from MY PARENT. Yet, it eludes me. Why? Is that too much to ask?

Must EVERYTHING be measured in dollars and cents?

If i can't even get the encouragement i need for the things i want to do in life, who else can i ask it from?

WHO?

Ps: Got a new Tag Board. You guys know what to do.

EarlGrey

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

BASTARD

Wednesday 15th NOV 06 1:40am

I never knew how proud i was of my sister till 2 days ago. My sis asked me for help with her school's dance production DANZATION 2006. I don't get paid for it, naturally, but since it's my sister who asked, how can i say no right?

I believe that everything happens for a reason, the fact that i accepted this assignment gave me the opportunity to see and understand for myself just how hard my sister is working for her passion. It made me want to do my best, and just by being the Emcee for the show, i have in a sense made myself a part of the production. Life is full of suprises. And it's also full of lessons and adventure just waiting to be seen and heard. I have also got the good fortune to make several new friends. At the same time, get closer to people i already know. People like Alex Freshie, Shane, Kenneth, Sufan, Terence, Daphne Khoo, Ann etc etc. Thank you people, for just being there for me. I am proud of my sis, and all of you out there. It's a pity our time is so short lived. Maybe when fate permits, we will see each other again.


Back in my personal life, i have decided to make acting and Events Management my career in life. After doing Danzation 2006, i have decided that entertainment is what i like and do best. So why not make it my bread and butter too? Can always start small. As long as i can pay the bills and live a comfortable lifestyle, thats all anyone can ask for right?

I have decided to keep myself from "Him". It hurts me too much to see him and feel the way i feel knowing he will just slap me in my face again.

Besides, he is already showing signs that he is trying to distance himself from me already. He rarely speaks to me now as it is. And he even makes effort to avoid being alone with me. Am i so scary? Does he fear me so much?

I do not know if i can love again after him. Maybe in time i will.... but now, i'm a total wreck. I just want someone to love and love me back. So simple. Yet, i can never get it. Don't tell me to go get a girl cause it's honestly just so used and freaking insulting. I mean come on. THE WHOLE BLOODY WORLD is saying if you are a boy go get a girl. HOW THE FREAK is this helping ME?!

So WHAT if it's a girl? Just because it's the opposite sex makes it OK to love? and NOT the other way round? Just because it's the opposite sex means it's ok to kiss and touch and hold hands and hug and get your bloody dick hard and get shaggy with her? SHEESH people. REALLY. Give me a break!

But i'm fighting a losing battle aren't i? There are too many straight people around. Dosen't help that i dun look handsome either. The majority will always win. So, just conform? be a mental and emotional slave to the masses? Maybe that's the right thing to do, or is it just convinent? The worse part is, the closest people around me don't understand me. They just cannot accept.

People that means the whole world to me. Zax, Alan, Qing An, Isaac, Jon, Julius. They don't understand and they never will. Sad, when your own "family" just cannot accept who and what you are.

I have to let "him" go. Everytime i go out with him, with my other group of friends, he would say things like he likes this girl and that girl and he likes this and this, so and so. He never realises that i am stabbed inside. Not because of anything, just because of the fact that he is balantly telling me, "Stop dreaming, you bastard".

Yes. I'm a bastard.

You happy now?

EarlGrey