My Moderated Life

Friday 26th OCT 07 09:40am

After reading the papers these couple of days, i come to realise a very disturbing fact of life. But i will come to that later. As you might have guessed by my opening topic, this post will deal with Section 377A. Yes, the dreaded bone of contention from both sides of life.

Now, before i go deeper into this, i would just like to point out that our government has ALREADY decided that the code will remain STATUS QUO. So, really, what makes people think an online petition will change ANYTHING?

But then i digress.

On to my take on this issue. It's interesting that in the wake of the online petition to repeal Section 377A, another group has come out to KEEP the said code. What is more of an eyebrow raiser to me is the moniker that they have labeled themselves. The Silent MAJORITY. To me, this sentence itself has this message: "You little people better know where you stand. Just because we keep quiet dosen't mean you get to make noise".

Unfortunately, this is a sad but very real truth. Homosexual people of both sexes ARE, in every sense, the minority.

But the issue of Section 377A now has done more harm then good to Gays and Lesbians. Now that the government has made it clear that this particular Penal Code will stay, the after effect is already beginning to make itself felt.

Jubilant straight people have been using this "victory" to further condem the lifestyle of the homosexuals with this message: "See!! even the government also feel you people are not worth their effort. You people are still the garbage of the human species"

Yes, it is true that with a gay relationship comes gay sex, which is not readily acceptable by both the laymen on the streets and the religious sector.

Yes, it is also true that there are alot of black sheep out there, those preying on young boys, such as the most recent case of the englishman peadophile who has since been arrested.

However, having said that, we also have to be mindful and fair that these blacksheeps are around on both sides of the fence. There are men whom prey on little girls too, such as the recent murder case of Nurin where she was raped and then killed. Does this make it "better" in the sense that the killer was "at least, straight"?

To me, there is no logical reason to keep 377A in the penal code. The reason is simple. The government has said that they will not "effectively enforce" this code, as long as the act itself is done within closed doors. If it will not be used, then why keep it? It's akin to buying a gun and just leaving it on the shelf unloaded. What is the rational in that?

On the other hand, Why lobby so hard for it to be retained? Does retaining 377A make the gays and lesbians go away? Does repealing 377A makes people TURN gay? Right now, as it is, with 377A around, gay pubs and gays are still walking around, partying as usual in their own circle. They are most definately having sex with each other in their own rooms. What are we really afraid of?

Maybe the straight people are just afraid of what the repealing of 377A signifies.

That gays are now accepted as any other human beings, and that it's no crime for same sex relationships.

So what they say is true after all. Gays and Lesbains are merely TOLERATED. Not ACCEPTED. Even in this time and age.

Now that the whole issue is over and done with, the silent war has thus begun.

And i have felt it personally. I have been forced to change the address of my blog as people (and might i add, cowardly people) have been vandalising my tagboard with senseless attacks and remarks (you can see it for yourself on my tagboard). Life as a homosexual is already hard enough as it is, Now, the whole 377A issue has only made life alot harder for people like me.

Even on a personal note, i have lost many friends in a span of a few days. Bryan, Leslie, Yaorong, Joe, Jensen, Glen, Junxian, Weekiat, JiaQinq, Vincent. People whom i have helped and given alot to. They took, and they enjoyed. Then they decided that they have taken enough, and they just walk away as if there was nothing happening at all. How many more will i lose? 10? 20? 50?

At the end of the day, it really dosen't matter how much you do, how respectable your profession is, how good you are to people. As long as you are Gay/Lesbian, you are the most vile and horrible creature on the face of the earth.

And there will be no acceptence and redemption for you.

EarlGrey

Friday 19th OCT 07 09:15am

Ok, i know i promised to update my blog nightly, but as i only got home at about 1+am last night, and i was having a little bit of a migraine and fever, i decided to rest and update the next morning. Hey, at least i KEPT my promise to update. Well my Thursday was quite eventful. In the morning, Shinjukai had a hands on Aikido Demo at Pasir Ris Secondary School. As their proper school is undergoing a big overhaul, they are housed at some old primary school building in Bedok instead.

So there i was, with the HQ guys doing the Demo. The boys there.... none are good looking. I was like, WHAT A BLOODY WASTE OF MY TIME!!!

LOL. yeah well.... i'm not doing anything criminal by LOOKING right. Sheesh.

So the whole thing ended at about 12PM. We went for lunch then after that, i got home to do some admin stuff. In the later afternoon i suddenly developed a fever and headache. Took medication at about 5pm, deciding that i would just take a short nap and then wake up in time for class in the night. I closed my eyes and when i opened them again, It was 8:45 BLOODY PM!!!!!!!

I was like... SHIT! I AM SO FREAKING LATE!

So what to do? just went down and see how things are going. I admit..... i really love my students alot. So, i just want to see how they are learning in their training.

After lessons ended, went for our usual supper and suprise suprise, Jon Lai actually AUTOMATICALLY returned me some money he had borrowed from me. Isn't that sweet. At least he's already ALOT better then SOME PEOPLE i know. How can you NOT love him? LOL

Alan called me up later in the night and the three of us ended up sitting down at the coffeeshop and talking rooster until about 1am at night.

So i went home and then slept.

The End.

:)

EarlGrey

Wednesday 17th OCT 07 11:30PM

I am totally shocked and confused at what is happening to youngsters nowadays. Look around you and it's most likely you will find young kids, both male and female alike, some as young as 12, behaving in very questionable ways. I have seen for myself young boys, with dyed hair, fringes almost blocking their vision, with piercings all over their faces. The more subdued ones will have just ONE ear stud on their left earlobe. I mean, what's up with the earstud? What's next then? Hairbands (Which, has ALREADY happened)? SKIRTS? Some horrible ones will have studs on their lips, cheaks, tongues, etc etc. Wearing PINK shirts, wearing like the weather is very cold here in Singapore. And of course, puffing away like there is no tomorrow.

This is supposed to be our FUTURE leaders and hope?

Just today itself, i had a good talk with one 16 year old boy whom i met recently in my neighbourhood. Apparently he had some big issues at home and his MSN nick was a very hateful "F^%K oFF!You are not fit to be my mother, disown me if you want!". I met up with him and from him, learnt that he finds his mother very controlling, to the point where he could no longer stand it anymore. His story i could go on and on, but the crux of the matter is this. That he does not feel loved, and that he is not able to have the thing he wants from his parents and that his parents always break their promises to him. Sounds famillier?

I spent the next few hours talking to him and suggesting the various reasons why he might have felt that way and perhaps, things are not what he thought it is. I dun think you want to waste your time reading all that have transpired right? Not that i WANT to type everything out either. But at the end of theday, i do hope that i have somehow managed to help him deal with his anger effectively.

Then after that, another drama. This guy i know long long time ago suddenly called me up. He was celebrating his friend's birthday and needed my help to purchase beer. Why is it that when kids call me up, it's NEVER for anything good?

When i reached there, this is what greeted my eyes. 12 year old girl (this is PRIMARY SCHOOL STUDENT, PEOPLE. PRIMARY SCHOOL), and a GIRL, no less. then 2 other 14 year old girls, one 15 year old (B'day boy) and my "friend", the 17 year old.

The birthday boy was relatively mild, but then the rest of the girls had piercings on the lips and tongues... and they like to hit those metal studs on their teeth, making those IRRITATING "tick tick" sounds. And they were drinking BEER and smoking away. ALL of them.

WHAT THE HEEL IS GOING ON HERE PEOPLE?!

I was speachless. Shocked at the sight even.

I could not stand looking at them anymore so i made an excuse to leav and come back home. They even asked me if they could come to my house and slack. My god, i shudder to think what they would do to my place if i did. How many things whould suddenly dissapear from my house.

I'm sorry if i have sounded assumptious, but i'm sorry, If they do not give two hoots about how they behave and act like in public, then they should be prepared for people to treat the with caution and questions their character.

Like i told the 16 year old boy i met at the coffeeshop earlier, Life is always fair.

What you do and act like, you will get the expected reaction back in return.

Really, what HAS this world turned into?

God help us ALL

EarlGrey

Tuesday 16th OCT 07 11:25am

I realised that i have not been updating my blog recently. Really nothing much has happened during these time, and even if it had, i have been too tired/lazy to blog about it. But i guess this is as good a time as any to write down my thoughts before i totally forget they happened.

I have recently gone for my Lasik surgery to correct my vision. Cost me a cool SGD$5,000 for the whole treatment. I am happy to report that this was money well spent. The surgery went well and now, i have perfect vision once again, although i have to hold off contact sports for a few months to let my corneas heal back properly. What this means is that i can't do my slams in Aikido, i can't swim (Not that i had in a long long time)and i have to constantly put eye drops on my eyes to help in the healing process. I still have a bit of discomfort here and there throughout the day, but it's nothing unbearable. You might be shocked at the bill of this treatment but there is a perfectly simple reason behind it. My corneas are quite thin, (About 400+ thickness. An ordinary cornea has 500+ thickness) And i chose the latest technology to correct my vision (Intralase). Everything was done by lazer. So it works out to be about 2.5K per eye.

On my Aikido front, i have to slow down on my training due to my surgery. I was so hoping to take my next grading this DEC. But seeing as how my condition is now, and the fact that there are weapon patterns (Which i have YET to memorise)to be graded on, i am HIGHLY doubtful that it will happen. Leslie, Yaorong, Jaiqin and Joe has offcially stopped coming for classes. Not that it's any suprise for me. I guess i sort of knew it would happen in the first place but decided to bang my head on the wall yet again. At the end of the day, i know i have done my best to help them and be there for them. If they choose to disregard it and turn away, then it's their loss, not mine. I realise that i also have to learn how to be more "stone hearted". Even till now, the kids have been asking me for help in topping up their Cell phones and even borrowing money from me. The sums are small, only a few bucks. But i guess i have already made them have this habit of turing to me. How long can i continue to help them? I don't know. Maybe it's the fact that they are still kids.

Honestly, i can't bear to leave them in the lurch, so to speak, especailly when they come to me with those "I am so pitiful" story and those puppy eyes. My heart just goes out to them. Why? Maybe it's because i have never had a "big brother" before who takes care of me and give me things. That's why when the kids approach me now, i am easily swayed by their "reasons". What puzzles me is that they all want to be respected and treated like an adult, but act the opposite. They renegade on their words, lie, and basically don't care about consequences. When they are done taking things from you or you have outlasted your usefullness, they avoid you like a horrible plague. Which is what is happening NOW, with the four of them. Although i will be fair and say that at LEAST one of them, Joe, who broke his arm recently, has expressed interest to me that he wish to return to training once he has recovered enough. But we shall see.... I really can't trust these kids now, no matter how much i want to. Then there is Leslie, who practically BEGGED me to purchase the tickets to the David Copperfield show that is coming up on the 3rd of NOV at the indoor stadium. He promised me that he will save up and make sure he pays me for the ticket. So i actually DID went and purchased the tickets. When i told him i have done so, his reply was an "Ok" and that's it. Seriously. My later attempts to sms him was unreplied, and calls unanswered. Is that an adult and matured beheaviour?

You be the judge.

On a happier note, i managed to have a meeting with a child star. I won't call him an actor because he has already made a name for himself. (He has already acted in a Movie). His name? Xiao LiYuan. You might have seen him in such MCS productions as "zero to hero" where he played the son of Edmund Chen's character, or the teenage production with the the first season of Campus Superstar Alumni. If these still does not ring a bell to you, then you might know him as the very lonely boy in the local movie production "4:30" by Royston Tan. His looks have not changed much, but he is MUCH taller now (Taller then me), at the age of just 15. We went to Jurong Point for movie and a quick lunch. He is friendly unlike other child actors i know. It was good to just have some time to meet up with new people and just chill. I have asked LiYuan to go with me to watch the David Copperfield show instead. At least, i know there is a higher chance of HIM keeping his promise then Leslie.

So that's about it. If there are any other significant things that happened prior to this post, i must have either forgotten them, or just can't be bothered to remember.... which, really sounds like the same thing if you think about it isn't it?

Well.... this is what i will do.

I will TRY to make it a daily event to update my blog from TOMORROW onwards. Well..... i PROMISE i will TRY at least.

:)

EarlGrey