This is part three/last part of the small pelvis issue. . .(for part one, click here. For part two, click here.)

I will be at peace with having a c-section next time IF I know I've done everything else first to prevent it. Granted there could end up being a new issue next time that leads me to need one, and if that's the case then so be it. But at least as far as the "small pelvis" diagnosis, I'll be practicing the tips from my previous post for prior & during labor to hopefully have another natural childbirth--that's easier next time!

As I wrote in my previous two posts, many women who have been diagnosed with a small pelvis also have a malpresentation (as was my case).

When I first went into labor I thought I was lucky because I avoided the typical long hours of contractions. Instead, everything started with my water breaking and then moved super quickly--I was fully dilated within three hours. At first I hoped my next experience would be the same way. Now I've come to learn that the water breaking first is usually a sign of trouble. I need to hope that happens LAST next time.

When the water breaks first (as in gushing out), it's usually because it's been forced--typically by a baby being in the wrong position. This could be because of being breech, traverse, or posterior.

The "catch" with the posterior position is that it's not often known until a woman is in labor. With breech and traverse the doctor can tell by feeling at each check-up, as well as with ultrasound. This can alert the mom prior to when she goes into labor so that she can follow tips to try and naturally turn a breech or traverse baby. With posterior, though, a baby is likely to move back and forth during the pushing phase!!! 87% of face-up babies turn to the proper face-down all by themselves during labor. But, according to the website, Optimum Foetal Positioning, 68% of posterior babies start labor in an ideal position and then turn posterior while mom is in labor.

This was sort of my case. During my last month of pregnancy I had a gut instinct that L.J. was face up, but both my doctor and the ultrasound technician said he was on his side just two days before I went into labor. This is not a bad position, as generally babies ARE on their side in the womb and come out face down. L.J., though, didn't move within my pelvis and so he was actually side-posterior in the end. That is why it's good for all women to know the following tips, because you never know when you're going to need them.

Posterior babies have increased in recent years. This is thought to be due to our lifestyle of "sitting in car seats and leaning back on comfortable sofas, together with less physical work."

I admit I wasn't very "physical" during my pregnancy (all of my pain and discomfort made it hard to be) but I made sure never to lay on my back. Whenever I reclined, I was always on my side. Most of the time when I relaxed I sat straight up. So, personally, I'm not sure I could have improved when it came to this area. I hope that next time my body remembers being pregnant so it won't take everything so hard, which means then I can be more active and see if that makes a difference. If it doesn't, the website says to "try crawling around the carpet for half an hour - while watching TV or listening to music. It is good exercise as well as good for the baby's position."

Other tips:

*Spend lots of time kneeling upright, or sitting upright. When you sit on a chair, make sure your knees are lower than your pelvis, and your trunk should be tilted slightly forwards.

*Watch TV while kneeling on the floor, over a beanbag or cushions, or sit on a dining chair. Try sitting on a dining chair facing (leaning on) the back as well.

*Use yoga positions while resting, reading or watching TV - for example, tailor pose (sitting with your back upright and soles of the feet together, knees out to the sides).

*Sit on a wedge cushion in the car, so that your pelvis is tilted forwards. Keep the seat back upright.

*Don't cross your legs. This reduces the space at the front of the pelvis, and opens it up at the back. For good positioning, the baby needs to have lots of space at the front.

*Don't put your feet up. Lying back with your feet up encourages posterior presentation. Sleep on your side, not on your back.

*Swimming with your belly downwards is said to be very good for positioning babies- not backstroke, but lots of breaststroke and front crawl. Breaststroke in particular is thought to help with good positioning, because all those leg movements help open your pelvis and settle the baby downwards.

*A Birth Ball can encourage good positioning, both before and during labour.

*Various exercises done on all fours can help--wiggling your hips from side to side, or arching your back like a cat, followed by dropping the spine down.

I didn't do any of these--but you can be sure I will next time!

If your baby is still posterior or ends up being posterior for the first time when you are in labor:

*Walk up stairs - sideways if you need to

*Rock from side to side

*March or 'tread' on a spot

*Step on and off a small stool

*Climb in and out of a birth pool

For second stage labor:

*Use kneeling or all-fours positions. Kneeling on one knee can help.

*Supported squatting with the mother lifted quite high--bottom should be at least 45cm (18 inches) off the floor.

*Birth stool seats should be at least 45cm (18 inches) from the floor.

*Avoid lying on your back, semi-reclining, sitting or semi-sitting. These positions all reduce the available space for the baby to turn. Lying on the side is OK.

In a previous post I discussed that I did do the "hands and knees" position. . .but maybe not long enough, I don't know--I had no concept of time that day, haha! Another good position is "Leaping Frog." According to my HypnoBirthing book:

This position is an easy form of squatting, which some experts believe is one of the most effective positions for bringing your baby into the world. While squatting on your toes, place your arms inside or outside of your legs and support yourself on your hands. When your arms are outside and slightly back at the side of your hips, it is easy to spread your legs wide and allows you a clear view of your baby's birth. Another advantage of the Leaping Frog with arms outside is that your entire lower pelvic area is suspended, leaving your baby to finally emerge without pressure from other parts of your body. This position widens the vaginal opening, utilizes the effect of gravity, shortens the birth path, and places the lower body up and away from any pressure. If you think you may utilize the Leaping Frog position, you will want to practice it reguarly to strengthen your arm muscles, but it is worth any effort you may put into it.

Finally, you should change positions frequently--something else I didn't do. My contractions were so intense (no medication or epidural) that I did best with them while lying in bed. But knowing what I know now, I would have forced myself to stand up, squat, use the birth ball, etc. to see if my activity during labor would have helped.

It's going to be a couple of years before I go through labor again, but I am already super motivated to do the things in all three of these posts!!! Hopefully in the meantime the tips can help someone else, too.

Continuing from where I left off in my last post about small pelvis' leading to c-sections. . .(click here for part one, click here for part three)

Unfortunately, learning whether you have a small pelvis doesn't happen until you're in labor. You can't simply look at someone and say, "they have a small pelvis" or "they don't." Otherwise you wouldn't see tiny women popping out five children easily and big-boned women still needing c-sections for this reason. It has nothing to do with your body type or size. I'm five foot-two-and-a-half but never during my check-ups with my doctor did she say I had a small pelvis. It wasn't until I'd pushed for two hours and my baby hadn't moved the smallest of a fraction when I was diagnosed.

Now I must point out that my baby was face up--because I think that actually had more to do with my long pushing phase (one, it's simply harder for the baby to move when it's in the wrong position and two, it's nature's way of protecting the baby's face from suffocating). But my doctor explained that my "small pelvis" was what caused my baby to be posterior.

If I hadn't practiced HypnoBirthing techniques, I'm confident I would have ended up in a c-section. When women have the "small pelvis" AND they're not 100% relaxed it's even less likely that the baby will move. I believe that's why my doctor let me push for the total of four hours--because she knew I was HypnoBirthing and so my chance of delivering vaginally was higher than someone who wasn't. (#1 rule: learn relaxation techniques so that you are in the most relaxed state of your life!) In the end I did indeed deliver vaginally, but it still wasn't the smoothest sailing so I want to do what I can to make the pushing phase easier next time so that 1) I don't need to worry about my baby's journey out and 2) I don't end up in c-section.

So what exactly does it mean to have a small pelvis during childbirth? Cephalopelvic disproportion is when the baby's head is not in proportion to the mother's pelvis (i.e. too big to fit). But my son was average in size (7 lbs) and his head was actually smaller than the average newborn. Therefore, I find it hard to agree with this theory for me.

As I made my way through cyberspace researching this topic, I found that there are millions of other people who completely disagree with the small pelvis theory--and many doctors say that it doesn't even exist!

The truth: it simply varies from woman to woman how the pelvis stretches (just as we all vary with everything). . .but in the end (unless there is a medical reason) they can all make enough room! That's why the exact same woman can have a hard time with one child but not another--in fact I've been reading stories of women who were told there would be no way they'd birth a larger baby than their first. . .but they proved their doctors wrong!

We need to have confidence in our pelvis' ability--the stretching is just another part of pregnancy--we need to remember that our bodies are designed for childbirth! The problem lies because what works for one person may not for another. It's about trying different things and learning what helps YOUR pelvis stretch easier. According to the Australian site bellybelly.com:

1. The pelvic girdle is not a fixed, solid structure

During pregnancy and labour the hormone relaxin softens the ligaments that join the pelvic bones, allowing the pelvis to give and ‘stretch’. The degree of pelvic expansion achieved will vary from woman to woman and from pregnancy to pregnancy.

2. Babies’ heads mould into shape

Babies’ heads are made up of separate bones which move relative to each other, allowing the baby’s head to ‘mould’ and thus reduce its diameter during passage down the birth canal. No one can predict the capacity of an individual baby’s head to mould and, as this is a feature of the normal birth process, should not adversely affect the health and well-being of the baby.

3. The position that a woman adopts during labour and delivery makes a difference to pelvic dimensions

Squatting, for example, can increase pelvic measurements by up to 30%. One of the most common positions in which women give birth, that of being semi-reclined where the mother’s weight is on her coccyx, restricts movement of the coccyx, which can severely compromise a below-average pelvis.

4. Baby’s position

The position of the baby can be crucial, and whether its head is well flexed or tilted can mean the difference between an easy delivery and delivery being impossible.

I wish that I would have tried squatting during my labor. I did learn about that position prior to my labor experience (from my friend's blog that I referenced in my last post), but since I (obviously) didn't know I was going to have this issue, I didn't put it front & center in my mind. . .and so I forgot while I was in the moment.

It's too bad that these things are left up to us to remind ourselves. . .I was in the #1 hospital for births in my city and yet none of the nurses suggested I squat to help move L.J. down the birth canal. I'm curious as to whether it would have gone easier/quicker had I tried that position. That's actually the ONLY way women deliver in many other countries. I read somewhere that the U.S. is one of the few places where women give birth lying on their back (the least effective position). I did try the "all fours" position for a while, since that is best for posterior babies (the hospital staff did remind me of that one) but unfortunately I didn't notice improvement.

There's no denying that my pelvis didn't stretch like some women's--my doctor has delivered a ton of babies and could definitely tell the difference--but the diagnosis of "small pelvis" is misleading. It doesn't mean my pelvis will react that same way next time or that I would have needed a c-section had my son's head or size been larger. It simply means during this pregnancy there were factors that slowed down the stretching process. . .but obviously it still eventually happened, as L.J. did come out!

Aside from his bad positioning, maybe my body didn't release enough relaxin. (Relaxin in pregnancy is secreted by the corpus luteum, the placenta, and part of the decidual lining of the uterus. In certain rodents, it relaxes the symphysis, inhibits uterine contractions, and softens the cervix.)

There are DVDs and books that can teach you about your pelvis and how to find out which unique shape your pelvis has, providing suggestions on positions based on that shape and as a result reduces fear and increases confidence in your body’s ability to birth well. There are also positions you can do in the weeks leading up to the birth to prepare your pelvis. And, if you're like me, where the pelvis may prevent the baby from getting into the best position, you can read about optimal fetal positioning HERE or check out Spinning Babies.com

I will expand on the positioning topic in my next/final "small pelvis" post, as there are even more things you can do to prevent posterior babies. But the message of today: don't just assume because you've be given the diagnosis of a small pelvis that it means you can't birth a normal-sized baby. It just means you have a couple of extra steps to get to where "Jane Doe popping out a ten pounder is." We've all heard of the rare women who have twelve-pound babies. . .we all hope we're not them, but they should actually be a positive reminder to us that we all have the ability to do it. Our pelvis' are all different, yes, but after doing my research I can't use the "small pelvis" excuse anymore. It will not be an issue for me next time because there's no such thing!

I will end with more suggestions from my friend's blog that I referenced yesterday:

--Yoga during pregnancy. The mind and body work closely together. The mind has a large influence over what the body can do. Yoga helps to stretch and strengthen your mind and body. The stretching during pregnancy can help your pelvic ligaments loosen and stretch during labor. The more they “give”, the more room your baby has in the birth canal.

--Sit on a birthing ball during prenancy and labor. Birthing balls are wonderful to sit on because they encourage your pelvis to widen and open. Doing figure eights is a great exercise for mothers.

--During pregnancy try to keep your baby from settling into a posterior position. When a baby is posterior it means that his/her spine is lying against your spine. The ideal position for a baby to be born is with his/her spine against the front of your belly. This is the perfect fit for any baby. To encourage this position, try not to recline too much in late pregnancy. Always sit up straight and never lie directly on your back. Also, the hands and knees position works great to rotate your baby.

--When you come to the pushing stage of labor, don’t lie on your back or sit. This prevents your sacrum from fully flexing and allowing the baby’s head to pass. The best pushing positions for a smaller than average pelvis (or any pelvis for that matter) are the squatting position and the side lying position. This allows your pelvis to stretch and accommodate your baby while he/she travels through the birthing canal.

P.S. I didn't do any of these but you can bet I will next time!

Grabbing from my Topics I'll Write About" post, I'm going to spend the next week focusing on a very common subject to educate other women who have my same "problem:" The small pelvis during childbirth.

Before I gave birth to my son, this topic went right over my head. In fact, my friend who gave me the idea of blogging for money posted a couple of blogs about this subject last year on her site even though she didn't have this issue. She'd had a c-section with her first baby due to her daughter being breech and wanted a vaginal birth with her second. It used to be that once you had a c-section, you always had to have one. But many women are requesting the births that they want, and their experiences go smoothly. There are a lot of myths out there--and so I'm proud of my friend for finding these out so that she could have the natural birth that she wanted with her youngest daughter.

Reading her posts during my pregnancy made me realize how important it is for women to take charge of their labor experiences. When I became pregnant I started off just assuming that whatever the medical profession said was the rule. After all, they were the ones who went to school, who was I to question anything? I knew nothing--I mean nothing--about pregnancy or labor prior to my experience. But, after spending day in & day out researching everything I could, I became much more knowledgeable, confident, and formed opinions for how I wanted my experience. I realized that I'm the owner of my body, and it is okay to trust my gut instincts even if it disagrees with a doctor.

Sure enough--if I hadn't learned so much about c-sections from my friend's site, I am 100% sure I would have had one with L.J. My situation was one of the most common reasons to have one: I had a small pelvis combined with a posterior baby. Plus, I pushed for four hours (usually the max time doctors let a patient push is two hours). But, I'd told my doctor that I really, really, really didn't want a c-section. (More on that in a minute.) Thankfully, I have a doctor who actually respects me. She is a woman who has had three children (two of them are twins) and so I believe she was able to identify with me as a mother giving birth opposed to just a doctor. She knew that although the "rule" was to send me in for surgery--my situation was not as "life or death" as we're made to think. The reason why c-sections are so common nowadays is so doctors avoid lawsuits if something does go wrong. It's safer for the doctor but not always best for the woman in labor.

Each woman should be treated on an individual basis and allowed the chance to see where things progress before the decision is just simply made for them. Most cases that I've heard and read about didn't have that opportunity. Not long after a woman pushes and the babies don't move, the doctors say, "C-section time."

That's because most women don't discuss their feelings with their doctor (and might not even know they have an opinion one way or the other until it's too late). It took me five months of pregnancy before I began to create a birth plan, and fortunately my doctor did everything she could to help me have it. She kept an eye on L.J. during my pushing phase so that he would be okay--and she canceled her other appts. to spend the necessary time with me. (Other women I know had doctors who got tired of them not progressing and so they scheduled c-sections so that they could get on to their other patients. How's that for feeling like a priority?)

But, even though I'll still be using my wonderful doctor with my next pregnancy, she did say that I need to be open to having a c-section next time, as women with a small pelvis have over 60% chance of having the same thing happen next time (for me that means a posterior baby, which makes for a dangerous pushing phase). I'm glad I'm getting the time to prepare for a c-section this time, as I didn't last time and so I would have been disappointed if my first experience had ended up in one. I'd always imagined giving birth, from the time I was a little girl. If I end up having one next time, I won't be as disappointed--but I'd still like to attempt not to have one, just for all of the other reasons (it's a longer, harder, more painful recovery, the baby's lungs don't become as healthy, it's less emotionally satisfying and post partum depression is more likely, you're not able to have more than three children. . .not that I want more than three, haha).

Therefore, I'm educating myself on the small pelvis issue to try to do what I can to have an anterior baby next time who "slips right out!" Yes, there are actual tips--which I'll share with you next time. (For part two, click here. For part three, click here.)

For today, I'll end with a post I copied from my friend's blog, when she wrote about C-sections:

My 5, 2007:

A cesarean may be one of the most common surgeries performed today, but they are definitely not simple. Women and men may be duped into thinking cesareans are a breeze. Everyone and their dog gets one right? Believe me, I have been through a cesarean and it was not a breeze. You may not appear as wounded and bruised on the outside as rhinoplasty photos, but it is a whole different story on the inside. To show you how complicated and serious a cesarean really is, I did some research as to what really goes on during the surgery. You will be amazed!

First of all, there are plenty of things that have to happen immediately prior to the cesarean. The mother must have an epidural or spinal type of catheter inserted between her vetebrae to block the pain. Her pubic hair is shaved and a urinary catheter is inserted. Usually a sheet is hung in front of the mother’s head to prevent her from seeing the surgery on her abdomen. She is given oxygen and typically has her arms strapped down to the bed. Once her belly is sterilized with an iodine solution, the cesarean can finally begin.

Now comes the moment of truth. Now a days, the most common type of incision that is made is a horizontal incision right at the start of the pubic hair line. This incision must cut through FIVE layers of tissue. These include: skin, fat, fascia, muscle, and the peritoneum. Once the internal organs are exposed, retractors are placed on the top and bottom of the incision to enlarge the area. This is when the surgeon finally makes an incision in the uterus. Now the baby can be born.

Since the birth of the baby is not the last step of a vaginal birth, it is not the last step during a cesarean either. The placenta must also be removed from the uterus. Pitocin is used to stimulate uterine contractions to help remove the placenta. Once the placenta is removed, the uterus must be stitched up. This is one of the most amazing and jaw dropping parts. The surgeons actually remove the uterus from the mother’s body and place it on her stomach to complete the stitches. Once the stitches are complete, the uterus is pushed back through the incision into the abdominal cavity.

Several layers of stitches are needed during a cesarean. Not only does the uterus receive sutures, but the fascia and the muscle do as well. Then the patient may recieve outter stiches or staples that are visible on top of the skin.

Cesareans are not a walk in the park. A woman’s entire abdominal cavity is opened and removed. There is a reason the typical hospital stay is 3-4 nights following a cesarean. It is major surgery that should not be taken lightly.

To be honest, I didn’t really know what happened to a woman’s body during a cesarean before I had my own. I didn’t expect to need a c-section, so I only studied up on vaginal births. However, I hope that all pregnant women are educated about what a cesarean encompasses and how serious the procedure actually is. Perhaps this knowledge will help rid the public of the notion that c-sections are simple procedures that can and should be done every day.

I found a great website that gives amazing information about c-sections and what happens during the surgery: Storknet.com

I don't believe in astrology (my zodiac sign-Sagittarius-is a fire sign and I am definitely not, however in one more day I would have been a Capricorn, an earth sign. What I was "supposed" to be-Pisces-a water sign, is the one that fits me)--but I was still curious as to what my son is. Here's what I found:

L.J. is an Aries, a fire sign--but right on the border of a Taurus, an earth sign (which would also have been his sign if he'd been born on time). The Aries symbol is the ram. Here is the personality description of the Aries:

Adventurous and energetic
Pioneering and courageous
Enthusiastic and confident
Dynamic and quick-witted

Selfish and quick-tempered
Impulsive and impatient
Foolhardy and daredevil

Joe (my husband) and I had to laugh, as that sounds like L.J. right now. . .but doesn't it describe all three month olds? Haha.

It's the first sign of the zodiac, so an Aries symoblizes "new beginnings." They are "full of energy." They make the best leaders, and are rarely followers. They are likely to be good athletes, doctors, explorers, soldiers, sailors and airmen, in industry and politics.

LIKES
Action
Coming in first
Challenges
Championing Causes
Spontaneity

DISLIKES
Waiting Around
Admitting Failure
No opposition
Tyranny
Other peoples advice

Their ruling planet is Mars.
The color is Red.
The stone is Diamond, which is considered the best of all stones.

What I found the most interesting, though, is that they are most compatible with THE SAGITARRIUS (me)! As well as Leo (my stepmom), Gemini and Aquarius (one of Joe's sisters). Maybe that's why my baby & I get along so well :-) Their least compatible sign is THE CANCER (my husband and my brother)! Also, Taurus, Virgo (my mother-in-law), Scorpio (my dad, stepdad, and one of Joe's sisters), Capricorn (what Joe's dad was), and Pisces. The neutral sign is another Aries or a Libra (my mom).

But I guess I can't brag about my sign since I just said that I don't even consider myself a Sagittarius. Soooo, if I go by my due date of a Pisces, then I have to go with L.J.'s due date of a Taurus:

Patient and reliable
Warmhearted and loving
Persistent and determined
Placid and security loving

Jealous and possessive
Resentful and inflexible
Self-indulgent and greedy

That actually really describes him, too!

The Taurus symbol is the bull. They are good law-abiding citizens. They are slow to anger, disliking quarreling and avoiding ill-feeling. If they are provoked, however, they can explode into violent outbursts of ferocious anger in which they seem to lose all self-control. Equally unexpected are their occasional sallies into humor and exhibitions of fun.

They can flourish in many different trades and professions: banking, architecture, building, almost any form of bureaucracy, auctioneering, farming, medicine, chemistry, managers, insurance, education, music and art. They make an ideal trustee or guardian, and can attain eminence as a chef. Some Taureans are gifted enough in singing to become opera stars or to excel in more popular types of music.

No other sign in the zodiac is closer to earth then Taurus. The main objective is primarily to maintain stability and physical concerns. Their inner spiritual sense longs for earthly harmony and wholesomeness.

This is the part that gave me chills: Hunky Taurus is physically strong and solidly built. Many favor weight lifting or other body-building routines to keep in shape and enjoy sports requiring strength and endurance. Health issues are often focused on problems to do with the throat and neck. (For those who read my second blogpost, you know that my son has a brachial cleft fistula in his neck.)

LIKES
Stability
Being Attracted
Things Natural
Time to Ponder
Comfort and Pleasure

DISLIKES
Disruption
Being pushed too hard
Synthetic or "man made" things
Being rushed
Being indoors

The last one is definitely true--L.J. appears to LOVE the outdoors (totally opposite of me, as when I spent a couple of hours outside a week-and-a-half ago I got so bit up by bugs it reminded me why I don't make it a habit to be outside.:p)

Their ruling planet is Venus.
The color is Pink.
The stone is Emerald.

This time the most compatible is Cancer (my husband)--as well as the Pisces, Capricorn (Joe's dad), and Virgo (Joe's mom). The least compatible are Gemini, Leo (my stepmom), Libra (my mom), Aquarius (one of Joe's sisters), Aries. . .and Sagittarius (me)! (The neutral sign is another Taurus or a Scorpio (my stepdad, dad, and one of Joe's sisters.)

HOWEVER, since my son as a Taurus is the same thing as me as a Pisces--I STILL get to be most compatible :-)
-------------------------------------------------

P.S. Here is a description of my sign (I'll start with Pisces since it is more accurate for me.)

PISCES:
Imaginative and sensitive
Compassionate and kind
Selfless and unworldly
Intuitive and sympathetic

Escapist and idealistic
Secretive and vague
Weak-willed and easily led

LIKES
Solitude to dream in
Mystery in all its guises
Anything discarded to stay discarded
The ridiculous
like to get 'lost'

DISLIKES
the obvious
being criticized
feeling all at sea about something
know-it-alls
pedantry

Ruling planet is Neptune
Symbol is Fish
Color is Soft Seagreen
Stone is Moonstone

SAGITARRIUS:
Optimistic and freedom-loving
Jovial and good-humored
Honest and straightforward
Intellectual and philosophical

Blindly optimistic and careless
Irresponsible and superficial
Tactless and restless

LIKES
Traveling
getting to the heart of the matter
Freedom
Laws and meanings
the general 'feel' of things

DISLIKES
Off the wall theories
being tied down domestically
Being constrained
cooling your heels
bothered with details

Planet is Jupiter
Symbol is Centaur
Color is Rich Purple
Stone is Topaz

Joe's due date was a Gemini, an air sign, and he actually fits that more than the Cancer, a water sign, so then he'd be under both of L.J.'s leasts. (Gemini: Adaptable and versatile, Communicative and witty, Intellectual and eloquent, Youthful and lively, Nervous and tense, Superficial and inconsistent, Cunning and inquisitive--Compared to Cancer: Emotional and loving, Intuitive and imaginative, Shrewd and cautious, Protective and sympathetic, Changeable and moody, Overemotional and touchy, Clinging and unable to let go). . .and my mother-in-law fits her due date of a Libra, an air sign, better than her birthdate of a Virgo, an earth sign. . .so I guess my opening paragraph today should have said "I believe in astrology for our DUE DATES, not our birthdates!"

Here is an article that my cousin-in-law sent me today. Looks like many other women out there have my same idea!

http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2008/07/22/BU3011SL0E.DTL

Here is a "forward" that I received and thought it was worth posting for all of the special moms out there! It brought tears to my eyes :-)

Prettiest Mom

Before I was a Mom,
I never tripped over toys
Or forgot words to a lullaby.

I didn't worry whether or not
My plants were poisonous.
I never thought about immunizations.

Before I was a Mom,
I had never been puked on.
Pooped on.
Chewed on.
Peed on.

I had complete control of my mind
And my thoughts.
I slept all night.

Before I was a Mom,
I never held down a screaming child
So doctors could do tests.
Or give shots.

I never looked into teary eyes and cried.
I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin.
I never sat up late hours at night
Watching a baby sleep.

Before I was a Mom,
I never held a sleeping baby just because
I didn't want to put her down.

I never felt my heart break into a million pieces
When I couldn't stop the hurt.

I never knew that something so small
Could affect my life so much.
I never knew that I could love someone so much.
I never knew I would love being a Mom.

Before I was a Mom,
I didn't know the feeling of
Having my heart outside my body.
I didn't know how special it could feel
To feed a hungry baby.
I didn't know that bond
Between a mother and her child.
I didn't know that something so small
Could make me feel so important and happy.

Before I was a Mom,
I had never gotten up in the middle of the night
Every 10 minutes to make sure all was okay.
I had never known the warmth,
The joy,
The love,
The heartache,
The wonderment
Or the satisfaction of being a Mom.
I didn't know I was capable of feeling so much,
Before I was a Mom.

Ever since my last two weeks of pregnancy, my right wrist has hurt. It didn't phase me at the time, considering I had a zillion other discomforts as well! I figured the pain was caused from sleeping on it (since I could only lay on my side while pregnant, I put my hand under my head and stayed in that position pretty much all night)--and it would go away once my baby was born.

Instead, my wrist pain got worse, especially during breastfeeding. I figured it was because I had to hold my son's head in one position for a long period of time. However, even when his neck became stronger and I could support his head with my arm, my wrist still didn't improve. I've tried every position out there but my baby turns three months old this Friday and my right wrist is worse than ever.

The nights are the most painful since I'm not using my wrist. A dozen times I've gone to pick my baby out of his crib and my wrist doesn't even work--so I nearly drop him!!! This is very scary. There is no swelling, redness, or any problems with my fingers or other wrist or joints--but an intense pain grates through my right wrist, and lately my lower thumb as well.

This has been going on for so long now (24/7) that I've decided I must go to the doctor. I plan to make an appt. tomorrow, but thought I'd try first to figure out what I have. So I went to Web MD and was fascinated that there is actually a PREGNANCY-related wrist problem!!!! Who would have thought?!?! (I was thinking my wrist just fell out of the socket or something but it sounds like hormones are to blame.)

At first I thought it might be carpal tunnel syndrome (since I'm also on the computer a lot and that can be caused by pregnancy due to swelling) but the more I read, the more it didn't fit.

Instead, my gut instinct tells me I have de Quervain's disease. There are A TON of website forums out there with women who are complaining of my exact symptoms/wrist pain following the birth of their baby and are searching for answers. Most all are breastfeeding, and most all end up being diagnosed with this wrist disease.

Even if it turns out I have something different, I decided I better let others know to watch out for this common pregnancy-caused condition because I've been suffering for three months thinking I just had minor joint pain that would go away any day--but de Quervain's won't without treatment. Don't suffer longer than you have to! According to Web MD:

de Quervain's Disease is inflammation of the tendons and the tendon sheath on the thumb side of the wrist. It may occur from injury to the wrist or tendon or as a result of activities that require repeated wrist and thumb movements, such as knitting, wringing clothes, or lifting heavy objects. It can also be the result of swelling and hormones during pregnancy.

Symptoms may include a grating feeling in the wrist and pain and weakness along the thumb, wrist, and forearm. Pain increases with activities such as lifting or pouring.

Initial treatment consists of rest, splinting, stretching, and medications to decrease inflammation. Physical therapy, a steroid injection, or surgery may sometimes be needed.

This pretty much describes me to a T, with the exception of doing anything to cause my wrist to hurt. Like I said, it started within my last two weeks of pregnancy so I was hardly active! (And I don't knit.) But, I do notice it hurts the most when I lift things with my right hand. And, I am breastfeeding, which is when the de quervain-causing hormones are the strongest. An article from the Journal of Family Practice says:

. . .a number of women in their last trimester of pregnancy or who were nursing mothers developed de Quervain's disease. Schumacher reviewed six cases of de Quervain's tendinitis occurring after the fifth month of pregnancy. Five of the six continued to have symptoms postpartum. All five were breast-feeding their babies.
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As if us breastfeeding mothers don't have enough problems to deal with!!! I am at least glad to read that it is not a permanent condition. It's serious at the time for those who are dealing with it, but not serious long-term or in connection to any other problems. If my doctor doesn't provide relief for me, then (after reading the case studies in the above article--which, btw, it almost always occurs in the right, not the left, hand even for me who is left handed) it sounds like once I cease breastfeeding my wrist will return to normal. . .so sometime within the next year. :/

For my follow up post, click here.

My new job is to write about issues dealing with pregnancy and being a new mommy. Before I get into writing about certain topics within these two subjects, I thought I'd give you some background about my pregnancy & motherhood so that it makes sense as to why I'll be choosing certain topics in the future.

I became pregnant for the first time on Friday, August 17 or Saturday, August 18, 2007 when I was twenty-seven years old. EXACTLY eight months later on Friday, April 18, 2008 when I was twenty-eight years old, I gave birth to a son that I will refer to here as L.J, at 10:30 AM. He was 37 weeks gestation and weighed 7 lbs, 13.7 oz and was 20.5 inches long.

Despite missing out on those last three weeks, my pregnancy seemed long! I am not one of those women who loved being pregnant; I'd never felt worse in my life! My entire first and half of the second trimester were consumed with all-day sickness. I'm talking 24-7 nausea that resulted in about a dozen trips to the toilet (really not that many considering how awful I felt). I basically spent two months in bed.

Despite the second trimester usually being the favorite for women, it wasn't for me. I was ecstatic my nausea went away and I suddenly had a D-cup chest, haha, but then I developed INCREDIBLE back pain. That basically made up for the 24-7 nausea, as I was now in pain all day and night (and so my sleep was very disruptive). I had other discomforts as well, but finally it seemed that by the third trimester my body was actually starting to adjust!!! The entire month of March was excellent--my best by far, as I can't think of a single complaint.

However, after the first week of April my stomach started KILLING me. L.J. had been growing rapidly (his original due date was May 13th but my doctor changed it to May 9th because his size kept going past the charts to even May 2nd and then "sometime the end of April"). I am 5.2-and-a-half and gained 42 pounds (despite eating normally) so this was very hard on my body.

I began experiencing braxton hicks (false/practice contractions) during those last two weeks and could hardly walk. I didn't think I could survive another month--L.J. would have been 10 lbs full-term. Thankfully, it wasn't necessary, as my water broke while I was sleeping--as in GUSHED out (which, despite what they portray on television, is not typical) and it kept gushing out for the next hour (I had more than average amniotic fluid--you can read the cause in my post titled I'm almost 4 cm dilated).

To prepare for childbirth I had done a lot of reading and realized that the way it's viewed in society is not the way it has to be (the screaming women, the awful pain, the desperation for drugs, the life-threatening situations, etc.) In fact, not being relaxed and positive, as well as getting the epidural and other interventions (pitocin, etc.), typically make labor longer and more painful. (All doctors will agree to this.) I'd been in enough pain for eight months--I wanted to avoid anything else that I could!!! So, thanks to reading HypnoBirthing: The Mongan Method I was able to have an AWESOME labor experience. It was the best day of my life!

From the time my contractions first began to when I became fully dilated was only three hours! According to experts, the average labor for a first time mom is 12-16 hours. But because I was in the best mood ever and completely relaxed (practicing the HypnoBirthing techniques), my body worked naturally to easily move L.J. down the birth canal. He was expected to arrive minutes later, as the average time for pushing for a first time mom is 15 minutes to 2 hours. Since my labor was progressing much quicker-than-average, the nurses thought certainly I was closer to the 15 minutes.

Nope. It was discovered that L.J. was face up and I had a small pelvis. So, I ended up pushing for FOUR additional hours. If not for the HypnoBirthing techniques, there's no way I could have done this (the majority of people in my situation end up in a c-section)--but because of HypnoBirthing, the pain was never more than I could handle.

After two hours of the pushing phase my doctor did recommend the epidural to relax my pelvis so that she could keep her hand inside me (she'd stuck her entire hand up earlier to turn him but he'd turned back--that hurt like he**) or else a c-section was going to need to occur in order to prevent L.J. from smothering. Since my baby was my first priority and why I was doing HypnoBirthing at all (it's what's best for them), I agreed--but otherwise my experience was very positive and natural. . .so I am a huge fan of HypnoBirthing! (My entire total labor time of 7-8 hrs was still fast, considering the average for a small pelvis & posterior baby is THIRTY HOURS! That's the great thing about HB, even if you run into complications or have to change your birth plan, your experience will still turn out better than if you weren't prepared w/ HB! I still consider my labor to have been easy and I'm really glad I was able to be 100% present in an experience that my body was designed for.)

Due to the long pushing phase, when L.J. came out he wasn't breathing, but never once did anyone in the room act alarmed (like they do on television). Everyone was so calm and positive and confident. L.J.'s heart rate had been healthy during my labor and, sure enough, he began breathing on his own soon after.

Unfortunately, he did develop jaundice (50% of newborns develop this and 75% of premies; L.J.'s level was in the emergency range of 21) and so we spent the next week in & out of the hospital where he was in an incubator and then at home under bili lights.

Otherwise, he has been a healthy and very happy baby! Motherhood has been the absolute best time of my life, I've never been happier, never felt better, and it hasn't been at all as hard as I thought it'd be. I LOVE spending my days with my son and learning each day how to be a mom--what to do, what not to do, etc. He's my little buddy!

Needless to say, it was devastating to learn when he was two months old that he's going to need surgery by the time he is nine months old to fuse a brachial cleft fistula (a genetic trait from my husband's side of the family which caused a hole in his neck). He is a strong boy, though, almost 16 lbs. already at less than three months, so I know we will all get through it okay.

I hope to meet other women out there who have gone through similar situations: rough pregnancies, wonderful HypnoBirthing labors, small pelvis', posterior babies, scary situations you've had with your baby, wonderful situations you've had with your baby--as well as anything else regarding motherhood!

Two years ago (July 2006) I signed up on blogspot to give blogging a try. But, I am a fiction writer and so writing about my real life seemed boring. Therefore, I only gave the URL to a couple of people, and after six months deleted my posts. However, I decided to start over in February 2007, due to spending too much time on e-mail (many people would ask me the same questions and I'd find myself writing out long updates only to wonder if they even really cared). This time I gave the URL to most of my address book so those who were interested could check out my site and I could just focus on the people I e-mailed when e-mailing (which is more fun for me since I prefer reading about other peoples' lives rather than writing about mine over and over)!

I was really surprised with how many people visited my "online journal". . .and kept coming back. It turned out that during the next year-and-two-and-a-half months I became pregnant and had a baby, so I actually did have something to write about. Still, I was stunned when I kept learning of friends, acquaintances, and co-workers of family & friends who were reading my posts--people I'd never met who had bookmarked my site and were frequent readers. My blog wasn't public, but I began wondering if I should make it that way, as a friend of mine had a public blog and was actually making money off of her posts. By the time I concluded my blog in May 2008, I had written 470 pages! I knew that as a new mom I wouldn't have free time to waste anymore--and so I resigned from blogspot.

But, my personal blog continues to be online [update: it was removed on 9/2/09] and I keep hearing of new readers from people I know who are checking it out, for example, because they are pregnant and wanting to read about my experience. I'm still surprised by this, but it made me wonder--if I started a new blog and was paid this time, then it wouldn't really be a waste of time. . .right? I like the fact that I have my entire pregnancy recorded and it'd be nice if I had my life as a new mommy recorded as well.

So here I am, hoping that you will find something in my posts that you can relate to or take an interest in so that I can make a little $ while I stay home with my son who was born on April 18, 2008. Since I'm not pregnant this time I don't know how interesting my posts will be, but I am a new mommy who is also continuing to go for her dream of being a published fiction writer.

The more people who view my page the more money I get, so help me out and keep checking back, as I start posting my day-to-day life as a mom, a writer, and everything else that makes ME!

Thank you!

*Last updated on 5/19/10

While growing up, there was nothing I enjoyed more than sitting next to my mom or dad as they read a story to me. As an only child and child of divorce, my imagination was my escape. The calling to put my stories on paper was so strong, unlike most children I never wavered with what I wanted to do. I always knew fiction writing was my purpose in life.

By the age of seven, I read and wrote daily, and longed to see a hard copy of my work. So, my mom binded Henry the Hippo together and made copies for my family. I proudly held my "book" and vowed that one day I would have a real book in stores.

I wrote every day--whether it be at restaurants, in the car, or waiting for my parents at a store. I also created a group called The Writers Club with a couple of my friends. But, at the age of twelve, I attended a writers workshop and learned how difficult it is to get published. I also discovered broadcast journalism, which seemed more attainable. I decided that would be my career to pay the bills and I would write during my free time.

In high school I focused on building my resume as a broadcast journalist. Creative writing took a backseat. Although I was editor of my school's literary magazine, most of my writing during that time was non-fiction. My work was published in our local newspaper, but I felt my niche was full-length fiction and knew I wouldn't be satisfied until readers could walk into a bookstore and buy my work. I wanted to provide an escape and touch lives, as books had done for me.

While broadcasting was my major in college (and I hosted a campus television talk show for three years), English was my minor. I wrote for my college magazine and had several articles published in a newspaper where I interned for two summers, but most of all I loved attending my creative writing classes.

After graduation, I worked full-time as a television reporter, and realized that the grueling schedule was not compatible with writing. Odd hours, long hours, and exhausting hours left me with absolutely no free time or energy. Even though I'd wanted to be a TV reporter/anchor since I was twelve, I knew I could never be a successful fiction writer if I continued on that path. I had to choose one or the other. There was no doubt where my passion and heart had always been and would always be. Even though it would have been easier and more accepted by others to stay, I left the world of television.

In 2003, I got married, moved to a new state, and was hired as a radio host. Meanwhile, my husband and I bought our first house in 2004, our first of two dogs in early 2005, and went through many other major life events. By May 2005 I wondered whether I should save writing for my retirement.

But fate stepped in. The same month that I considered giving up, I attended my half-brother's high school graduation. There, I met his aunt, a best selling romance novelist. She told me that I must join a writers group--if it wasn't for that she never would have gotten published. We spoke for awhile and exchanged e-mail addresses. I sent her samples of my work and she shared with me her writing journey. It had taken her seven years, and she felt there was no reason why I couldn't be published as well. Her words of encouragement gave me the motivation and inspiration that I needed.

That fall I joined the national organization that helped her get published: Romance Writers of America, as well as my local chapter. I learned more than I could have imagined! I was immediately educated on all of the "rules" to getting published, I understood what I'd been doing wrong, and I immersed myself with everything I could to improve.

In April 2006, thanks to my husband's awesome support, I quit my job at the radio station to be a full-time writer. I began work on a romance novel. A couple of months later the book was completed. After another two months of editing, I submitted the manuscript to Harlequin. Like most first-time authors, my novel didn't make the final cut; however, having an editor actually consider my manuscript allowed me to receive PRO status within the RWA. (For two years I also served as photographer and librarian for my local chapter.) I knew that the drive inside of me came from God and that He would direct me to the right book and publisher when the time was right.

In January 2007, with the help of a critique group, I started a new love story which I submitted in May to Harlequin Everlasting Love.  I was thrilled when the executive editor expressed interest in publishing my work! Unfortunately, then Harlequin decided to discontinue publishing any future books for the Everlasting line!

On the bright side, my husband and I welcomed our first son during the spring of 2008. We also moved into a new home and I became a paid online freelance writer, about issues regarding pregnancy and motherhood.

In October 2009 I decided not to renew my membership with the RWA - but I plan to return in the future. I'm confident that someday I will have a book in stores!